- Date posted
- 19d
My dad took out like some papers from his pocket and for a second i saw something blue with white letters now im scared what if its a con*om and he is cheating on my mum cause i know they dont do that anymore
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My dad took out like some papers from his pocket and for a second i saw something blue with white letters now im scared what if its a con*om and he is cheating on my mum cause i know they dont do that anymore
Hi guys young adult here , been struggling with obsessions and compulsions since I was 14 , now Im 20 and I think my old "pal" has come back again. The last 5 days I've been really short tempered for some reason I cant even understand , watching everyone in my sorrounding and this weird head "fatigue" that sometimes shows , but the worst phase so far is when I got the "she is going with another man" thought out of the fricking blue. A little background about my relationship: "Me and my gf have been together for 2 years , since she confessed her love to me and since then we have spent some wonderful time together , we share together almost everything , we been talking and supporting each other through the most difficult times , we barely have any arguments and we make it up in a blink of an eye when it happens , and lately we revealed our relationship to our parents which is going fantastic (fantastic is even an understatement) , her parents love me and my parents love her , and I believe we got a relationship that many people would envy on". So the thoughts and scenarios came out of the blue and felt so real , it became my "gut feeling" (and Im someone that always trusts my gut) and I felt so horrible and angry . The proof that led me to these thoughts ? Almost nothing , I just became hypervigilant on every words she said and whenever the "dots didnt connect" I would get this huge bad feeling and the cycle continues . I would get the compulsion to check on her accounts (we share social media accounts too , maybe some of you guys wont like that). I confessed what I was going through and she felt so bad that I would think such thing , she started swearing on her familys life and start crying to why did I even think that . We both got emotional and we already talked two times about this , she cant stop saying how much she loves me. But I still feel this bad feeling and scenario that "she is seeing another man" which is crazy cause she never had "male friends" even before me (well I was the first one before we got together) but still , my trust for her is severely damaged and I've been trying to heal from this madness , but the million dollar question is.... Is my "old pal" ocd making a comeback with a different theme ? or is it something else going wrong with me?
I have a huge crush on this guy. I thought he was super cute first time we met and we’d always exchange smiles whenever we saw each other. Fast forward to a month of the semester, and he ends up approaching me. We have a great convo and he’s super smiley and cutesy. And that happens a few more times too. We even did a cute gentle handshake before departing ways once ( his hands are sooo soft) The other day I saw him and started a convo. I ended up asking to hangout and he immediately says yes and whips his phone out so I can give him my number. I WAS SO HAPPY. We have briefly texted. I asked him to get froyo through text over 24 hours ago and he hasn’t responded 😭😭 ik people get busy… how can I not let my OCD spiral on this one?? I told myself I refuse to double text. The ball is in his court… but ugh it’s hard not to ruminate
if i am certain that nothing is certain then how come i have certainty about nothing being certain? The emphasis on uncertainty in ocd and always to remain uncertain can backfire and become just as compulsive as chasing certainty if it becomes a new safety seeking compulsion. You can start to be scared with feeling certain itself. Your goal is simple and should simply be to be able to understand, cope and tolerate uncertainty when it presents it self. Feeling Uncertain is apart of life just like feeling certain is apart of life. It is Completely fine to feel and enjoy feeling certain about things as long as you can be ok with feeling uncertain at the same time and be mindful to not turn either into compulsion. Hence why mindfulness is so important along side ERP, you can observe and learn what your mind and body are doing and let things go and just be. Certainty and uncertainty are both feelings and you can’t have one without the other. We also can’t forget about learning to cope and tolerate uncomfortable feelings and emotions. You can’t have good feelings without bad feelings, both are apart of life. Your mind is a paradox. This is why Self compassion is so important and for you to take recovery beyond just breaking your ocd loop. You still need to build a new stronger foundation within yourself. ❤️❤️❤️
We have some problems. I used to have pretty severe jealousy issues. I am currently in therapy because of this, as I want to change in this regard, and I have already made some progress. It is not completely gone, but I handle it much better now and am working through my childhood issues. Now, about her: Even though I really have improved and these situations happen much less frequently now, she still reacts very defensively to situations like this and immediately gets angry. It goes so far that it ends in a huge argument every time, during which I get yelled at. She says she really doesn’t want to treat me this way, but it still happens. Apparently, it is also not okay for me to disagree with her, because I am expected to immediately believe what she says, which she is of course right about. Another issue is that she constantly feels criticized by me. According to her, I either accuse her of something, which I never do intentionally, or I ask a question that is meant as a question rather than an accusation. She also reacts very defensively to that quite quickly, or when I tell her that I would have preferred one thing over another. Apparently, this happens quite often, which is something else I need to work on, because the last thing I want is to criticize her in any way or make her feel as though she is not good enough for me, because that is not the case at all. As already mentioned, I am in therapy and am working on the issues I bring into the relationship in order to take some of the burden off my girlfriend, and of course, I am also doing it for myself. Now, about her part. Her frustration may be justified, but I still find it quite questionable that she loses her temper, yells at me, throws things, or destroys things every time. She says she doesn’t react this way intentionally, which I also believe, but I think that as an adult, you should be able to control yourself. I know that it is my fault because she was never someone who raised her voice at anyone before. Well, maybe I deserve it. During arguments, I often feel as though she sees me as her enemy, especially since I really am not a person who has malicious intentions or someone with whom it is impossible to have a calm, constructive conversation. Couples therapy is out of the question according to her, because she believes relationship problems should not be shared with third parties. I hope I can get my problems under control enough so that she no longer reacts so defensively. I just needed to get this off my chest because I am not feeling very well emotionally.
Hello all! I am having a particularly rough day today but I wanted to ask you all something to keep our minds off of intrusive thoughts and OCD in general. What is something you are skilled at and take pride in? I’ll start. I’m a very avid reader, I enjoy literary classics such as American authors Steinbeck and Vonnegut. However, my absolute favorite author is Dostoyevsky. I also am a self taught musician and play the guitar and bass. Obviously I am also a huge gamer as well. Recently I have been playing Cyberpunk 2077 again. My point being is that I want to know your guys comforts and activities. It’s really important that we keep doing these things. I’ve been in a really rough patch with OCD recently where I have lost the ability to do these things that I love. We need to remember what makes us human and not just OCD.
Would love to hear people’s experience and stories on their journey with HOCD with ‘false’ attraction?
I’ve been trying to put into words what living with R-OCD has felt like for me, especially in a long-term relationship. If you’re in a long-term relationship, please tell me whether you can relate to any of these experiences, and share examples if you feel comfortable. Been with my partner for 8 years, married for 2 (10 in total). For me, it can start with a thought like, What if I married the wrong person? What if I’m not really in love? What if I’m settling, or we’re not compatible? Part of what makes this especially complicated is that I don’t always feel as though I consciously “chose” him. He pursued me, and I wanted to be in a relationship. It also helped that he offered me financial stability. At the same time, he was never really my type, and he doesn’t have what I once thought was the most important trait I would want in a partner: humour. Then I start analyzing everything: whether there’s still a spark, what an interaction meant, and whether a small annoyance or “ick” is proof of something bigger. For some reason, I have a *million* icks at the moment. I can replay old memories and conflicts, second-guess my choices, and imagine whether I’d be happier in another life. Sometimes even ordinary things about my husband—his clothes, the way he talks, or how he sleeps—can suddenly set off that feeling of aversion. Then I panic about what the feeling means and worry about how critical or unkind I’ve been. I can feel calm for a while, then a doubt comes back and I’m pulled into trying to solve the whole relationship right now. I look for reassurance or signs that will finally give me certainty, but the relief doesn’t last. I’ve spoken to married people about this, and they often say something along the lines of, “Sure, he isn’t funny, but he has other traits that a comedic partner might not have.” They’ve also reminded me that I don’t have every one of my needs met by my spouse, and that this is okay because one person isn’t meant to fulfill every need. I can understand that intellectually, but I still go back and forth between my doubts and that perspective. Here’s the thing though: I have quite literally everything I could dream of. If I want it or need it, he’ll make it happen. I am so unbelievably taken care of that i wonder how I got so lucky and that I don’t deserve having such a comfortable life. Even then: I still flip flop so hard. One of the hardest parts is not knowing what to make of it. I know that having OCD doesn’t automatically mean every concern is OCD, and I’m not saying real relationship problems can’t exist. I’m trying to understand the difference between a concern I need to address and a thought loop demanding an answer I may not be able to get with total certainty. One more thing: Another layer that makes this especially complicated for me is having ADHD. I’ve always craved newness, novelty, and stimulation. I can jump from one hobby or interest to another, constantly looking for something that feels exciting and engaging. A ten-year relationship is the longest-lasting thing in my life, which is meaningful, but it can also feel confusing because relationships naturally become familiar and predictable over time. I can’t simply move on to something new whenever the initial excitement fades, and sometimes I wonder whether my restlessness is about the relationship or whether I’m struggling with the normal lack of constant novelty. Some people crave the comfort of an old relationship, but I honestly feel like I’m bored. If you’re in a long-term relationship, can you relate to any of these experiences? Have you struggled with constantly analyzing the relationship, checking your feelings, wondering whether you chose the wrong person, or feeling like every little thing must mean something? If so, please share specific examples of what it has looked like for you. It’s hard feeling like you’re all alone in your feelings.
I can’t sleep. I’m spiraling. I’m doing my best to not seek reassurance through friends, family or the internet anymore, and leave the discussions to therapy only, but I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s been over two and a half months since a major spiral/reassurance loop, but I still have my daily mental and physical compulsions that pulse through my body like a stress induced poison. My mind is telling me that I know something everyone doesn’t, even though I’ve shared my worries with people hundreds of times and everyone tells me I’m safe and I genuinely have nothing to fear. The problem is my OCD mind doesn’t rest, but I know checking with an AI chat bot that gives inconsistent answers is dangerous, as I’ve already lost so much time to them. I have been on 100mg of Fluvoxamine every evening around 7-8pm since July 10th and I can’t sleep. My med manager prescribed me 25mg of Trazodone, but it’s not helping. Last night I got drunk to suppress the OCD loops. I want to give in and check and find reassurance online, but I know I’ll feel so much worse than I do now. I’ve been unemployed since May. I’m lonely, overweight and so scared; I’m literally crippled by fear. I just want my life back. I requested to reschedule my therapy session to an earlier day this week. I need to fight for my life again. I feel so awful.
Hey! i get super anxious even leaving the house or driving now after a panic attack on the highway a year ago even with i drive with people i’m not really comfortable having a panic attack around i avoid going out or even working and its been a struggle because i was always out working and etc but i also struggle with intrusive thoughts too the point i feel super detached from myself i look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself literally please tell me has anyone gone through this im struggle bad
Just started doing erp and it’s so hard when I’m with my dr and he’s trying to help me stop doing this compulsions and the way he explains how much its ruining my life I get it but erp is so hard and exhusting . Does anyone like do it on there own or only with there dr and how does it work for you thank u so much
Ive convinced myself every small thing means pregnancy but it doesn’t matter what i do to try and stop it things get so bad i cant breathe right without thinking i am pregnant but ive never had anything sexual i rlly dont know what to do it sucks so badly i need real advice reassurance does NOT help what so ever no matter if it comes from me or anyone else im taking multiple medications for this but no matter what i do it wont go away i cry everyday and get into a reoccurring loop i panic until i cant breathe and get extremely nauseous i dont want this to keep going on anymore im scared of everything. I need some kind of stress relief wether its advice or meds. Im on luvox mainly
TW controversial nsfw. Mentions of taboo. - - - Repost/rephrase. I feel like if I don’t admit this then I’m deceiving everyone that I did nothing wrong. Not trying to make excuses for my choices. I was exposed to explicit content since I was very young, started watching in my mid-teens. I used it as a way to cope with all my stress. It was an on and off addiction, sometimes I’d go months without it, then crash and come back. I’ve seen taboo anime material. Adults roleplaying in certain scenarios. It’s disgusting. I’ve quit watching nsfw material altogether because it was harmful, I’d never want these taboo things IRL, but I’m losing sleep. I’ve been spiraling about whether this is unforgivable or not. It’s getting hard to speak with anyone because I feel like I’m not giving them the agency to cut me out by staying silent. I. feel. so. gross.
How do you tell the difference between a thought and a belief? With OCD, it's said the thoughts are distressing because they go against your beliefs. But it makes me question whether these are thoughts going against my beliefs or if they are beliefs that I don't want? A few weeks ago, I had a horrible bigoted thought regarding my girlfriend upon waking up from a dream. Even though it made me sick with anxiety, I fear it's a belief or view I hold, even though I don't want it. The thought is disrespectful to her existence and identity, and I'm so afraid that I'm not who I think I am. If she knew I had that thought, it would change the way she thinks about me. I don't want to be the kind of person that believes things like that. But what if I am and I can't change it? I talked about the thought in therapy, and I feel like I betrayed her by saying it out loud to someone else.
Lately, i felt extra bad as i can't do anything: listen to music, read books or fanfiction, role play, make fake scenarios in my head or watch movies. All the medications, including zoloft, lexapro and other stuff; therapy; talks with other people with ocd are bassicaly useless. Nothing helps me. Spiralling over weird topic: starting 'you loved your bully' (WHICH IS NOT TRUE), continuing 'you can't read, imagine scenarios, role play cause it will give you groinal responses, and you're gonna do smut' (i'm asexual, by the way) and ending with some strange topic about having meltdown about Chani goes back to Paul (that is sad, but why am i so worried about that? It's literally made up couple). Ocd never ends, it only gets worse. Over my main topics i have 'additional' ones, like: i have no friends, but i can't say or think about that, because 'it's out of my style'. I just don't understand, cause i really want to have a friend, but i feel so guilty admitting it. Or topics about washing my body and hands, having food poisoning and many other ones. Please, give me some tips or idk. I feel so bad. As i said, I started spiralling over MOVIE PLOT and i just can't stop for some reason, i even understand that this topic is super weird and just silly to worry about. But i still feel so anxious and devastated about Chani being back together with the person who betrayed her. I just can't stop having thoughts about that and googling if she's going to leave him in the 3rd movie (at least in the middle or in the end). I've been feeling and spiralling like this already for TWO DAYS now. I keep repeating my compulsion phrases in my head all the time. I feel so bad and tired. I really want this to end, i'm so tired of ocd. Sorry if it has a poor grammar, but i can't really think about it right now
*This is not intended to be used for your own medication treatment. Please consult your medical provider for your own treatment.* Today I was prescribed Lexapro. If anyone takes this, how did this help you with OCD and anxiety symptoms? I know that people have differing reactions to mental health medication, but was just curious.
Does anyone else struggle with this. I have been diagnosed with OCD and still have trouble believing that it is that. I have been fearful and legalistic my entire life and now I can’t discern what is ocd and what’s just my legalisms and then what’s real conviction. I basically walk around always feeling like I’m sin and then my brain has all the logical reasons what those sins are. At this point, I have run back to hyper vigilance. Basically working all the time, never slowing down, all to avoid thinking and avoid spiraling in fear. At this point, it’s no longer doubts and intrusive thoughts. It’s statements, it’s arguments, it’s real in my mind. Anything any ounce of conviction, responsibility, consequence scares me so bad that now my brain just shuts down and I do things however I want to. That impulsivity has gotten me out of being paralyzed, but at every corner I’m just making decisions and not repenting. Or maybe I am and I can’t see. Anytime I read the word now or sing or take communion, I have to presume on gods mercy that I really am not doing anything to fight my sin. It’s this weird confusion of what is actual sin and what’s legalism or OCD’s version of sin. Many times the when I have desires to do the wrong thing I get scared. But because I don’t know how to approach it I feel confused. Do I approach it as OCD and not worry about it: no because than I let myself give in to the thing. But Do I approach it with fighting: no because then I spiral about the fight.
The only thing keeping me from getting rid of my pocd theme is the false attraction. At least I really hope and pray it is. I just can't get over it. How did you guys overcome that part?
Hi all! Just been realizing that a lot of the heaviness I carry is due to grief about my family. I had a bad traumatic childhood, and my current family doesn’t want to get better and seems like they are waiting for someone to save them. I’ve always felt like a burden. I am feeling this more recently due to the natural separation from family that occurs when engaged/getting married. Any advice or words of love would be appreciated…
Hello everyone, I would like to describe a situation involving my partner that has been bothering me a lot ever since it happened. I would like to know how you perceive my behavior and whether I am spiraling into compulsive overanalysis or whether my doubts are understandable. Most of all, I want to learn how to break out of this constant questioning and this need to find out exactly what really happened. The situation in the bathroom My partner was in the bathroom. The bathroom door was open, and while he was in there, I did not hear a single thing. It was completely silent—not a single sound. Since, from my perspective, he had already been in the bathroom for quite a while and I had not heard anything from him at all, I eventually assumed that he had already left the house. As I approached the bathroom and was almost there, he suddenly came out and quickly gave me a hug. I then asked him what he had been doing in the bathroom for so long. He said that he had not done anything except briefly wash his hands and then come straight back out. This made me suspicious because I had not heard him at all during his entire time in the bathroom, even though the door was open. So I asked him why I had not heard anything. He explained that he had only turned the water on slightly. This was his explanation for why I might not have heard him washing his hands. Nevertheless, this does not make sense to me. I had the impression that he had been in the bathroom considerably longer than would be expected for briefly washing his hands and then immediately coming back out. What particularly bothers me is that, in my estimation, he was definitely in the bathroom for longer than five minutes. To me, that amount of time simply does not fit with the idea that he only briefly washed his hands and then came straight back out. As far as I know, he did not use the toilet or do anything else that would explain why he was in there for so long. This contradiction is what I cannot stop thinking about. He says he only washed his hands briefly and then came straight back out. However, I have the impression that he was in there for much longer. I cannot understand how these two things could be consistent with each other. Because of this, I am afraid that he lied to me or did not tell me the whole truth. However, I do not know that for certain. I am finding it very difficult to cope with the situation right now because I desperately want to understand what actually happened. What I noticed at the sink afterward Approximately 10–12 minutes after he came out of the bathroom, I went into the bathroom myself to take a closer look at the sink. By that point, the sink was almost completely dry. The gray ring directly around the drain was slightly damp. In addition, a small amount of water had collected in a little indentation where the ring meets the ceramic. There was also a small droplet of water hanging from the faucet. There were no noticeable splash marks. Overall, there was very little water visible. His clothes were not wet shortly after he had been in the bathroom. I also could not see any indication that he had dried his hands on his clothes. The towel was not wet either. Because I desperately wanted to understand whether the condition of the sink could be consistent with his explanation, I later conducted my own comparison. I washed my hands and deliberately used only a small amount of water. Afterward, I looked at how wet the sink was. In my experiment, the sink was slightly wetter than it had been when I checked it approximately 10–12 minutes after his visit to the bathroom. It was the same bathroom, no window was open, and the temperature probably had not changed significantly in the meantime. I also tried to take into account the time between when he supposedly washed his hands and when I checked the sink later. This comparison made me think about the situation even more because I concluded from it that he must have been in the bathroom longer than he claimed. However, I cannot assess for myself how reliable or meaningful this comparison actually is. Why I get so caught up in this The problem is that I cannot simply let the situation go. I keep going over every detail in my mind: How long was he in the bathroom? Why did I hear nothing? Why was the sink almost dry? Does his explanation fit with what I saw afterward? Could things nevertheless have happened the way he says they did? I try to connect the different observations to figure out whether his explanation could be true. At the same time, I realize how much this constant analyzing is affecting me. I check details, compare situations, and try to draw a definite conclusion from small things. Nevertheless, I never achieve any real certainty, and I start all over again. I am afraid that he lied to me. At the same time, I do not know whether my conclusion is actually justified or whether I am focusing so intensely on the duration and the individual details because I feel compelled to find an explanation. I realize that I am currently struggling to cope with not having a definite answer. I want to know what happened, and I find it very difficult to sit with the thought that he might not have been honest with me.
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