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It’s so late. I am just freaking out , I’m so scared of phycosis I feel so weird and detached and I’m having a panic attack bad

its been 2 weeks since i lost my best friend due to a seziure and i’ve been struggling so badly with scidial ocd and death anxiety.. i get thoughts of “what if i’m next” or “what if i don’t make it in life at this young at 17“ because she was 16 and her birthday was a few days after she passed then i have my scidal ocd thoughts that been with me since january i’m so annoyed when i get these thoughts still of “oh what if i’m actually scidal?” or “what if i want to actually do it” and it gets me so frustrated then everytime i look at a knife i get this thought in my brain “pick it up and stb yourself in the wrist” and it’s a constant thoughts and im like noo please noo but the other day i had a therapy it went okay i guess… but i was telling her about losing my best friend and telling her i’m still highly aware that it’s ocd… she was like well a psychiatrist would diagnose u with ocd then she asked if i pay attention to numbers and im not for sure sometimes i don’t even know my compulsions.. but i do repetitively like tell people my thoughts so i’m guessing that’s repetitive reassurance.. ofc the same thoughts that happen: “what if i hurt myself” “what if i want it to happen” “do i want it to happen because i’m going through a lot” “i don’t want it to happen… but what if there is a reason to” but it makes me nervous that i’m afraid it’s true because i think this happens from a tramatic experience from losing a classmate even tho i wasn’t as close with her it tramatized me bc she passed away due to s*cide and i guess that’s why it started my fear because she had mental issues but she also did drugs and that started that crazy maze with my thoughts.. but not the only thing after when my best friend passed away at the funeral it was a open casket, she was rlly pale and it was rlly scary i use to constantly check myself to make sure i wasn’t gonna turn pale but it calmed down but every Wednesday night i was having trouble sleeping because i was having racing thoughts while i was sleeping so i guess i was sleeping very light but i get scared i will die in my sleep… because my best friend passed away on thursday 2 weeks ago and i stay up at a certain time because i’m scared something is gonna happen to me abut my therapist still hasn’t figured out saying if i have ocd or not but i’m so stressed with my therapist and i have money issues in my family so it’s hard to get therapy sessions with low money and my parents work a lot but also to mention i might change to nocd it’s just nothing feels right now like i’m soon gonna be 18 in july im just so stressed my mental health has gotten bad… and when i get recommended coping skills i feel like it’s not working or i’m having trouble understanding the way of it… but i have a learning disability it’s not close to being dislexic but i have trouble understanding reading or getting the idea of something.. and i’m scared that’s why my coping skills isn’t working so i get thoughts like “what if i try to cope and it doesn’t work then that’s when i hurt myself” and i’m just so fricking tired of it i’m trying so hard like how do u sit there with it hello? sometimes when i have the thoughts in the back of my head i’m like oh well it’s gone where did it go? then it comes back yk? because it’s like a daily thought obsession im like i wish it could magically disappear without having a single thought of it… my compulsions are ressurance and rumination which makes me so mad that it happens because i have mental compulsions.. sometimes i feel like “what if i don’t have ocd and what if it’s real and stuck like this the rest of my life?” i’ve also been getting closer to god and i’ve been praying and ik he’s here with me i’ve just been impatient and it takes time ik it does i’m just so annoyed feeling this everyday..

Hi guys, I know I’m annoying as heck. I am always on here posting or needing help. I’m having bad anxiety right now and just am so scared. Everyone says sit with anxiety or just let it be. I always just think about going to the hospital or why I feel so bad. Wondering why or what I can do. I know I’ve had OCD but it just came for no reason besides that! I’m so scared!

hello, i have been very paranoid about being pregnant. I’ve taken 4 pregnancy tests, all came out negative and have gotten my period twice since the last time i’ve had sex, i’m so very paranoid and I have no idea why. even if i take tests, get my period or even when people reassure me that I am not. I’m not sure if it is my mind playing tricks on me to get stuck on this but it is very hard to continue with my daily routine without the fear of being pregnant. I have no idea how to overcome this fear.

I have health concern ocd and my current obsession is rabies. I just opened my window to get some air and now I'm convinced there's a bat in my room that's gonna give me rabies... I checked my room and didn't find one but now I can't stop thinking about it and I can't fall asleep. I think I would be able to see it if it was in my room but...

I don’t care if this sounds mean. The man just decided to post that OCD is a beneficial disorder. It angers me so mucn that people think of ocd as this thing where it makes you more clean or it makes you more meticulous and perfect, etc. etc. it took me so long to get diagnosed with OCD because nobody could understand the fact that it’s not about being clean or having any sort of obsession with cleanliness or structure. For me, I’ve always struggled with OCPD. I’ve never not been obsessed with something in my entirety of existence. I have relationship OCD. I have OCD about being in narcissist I have OCD about climate change. I have OCD about the wars going on and how they might end up the state these things have genuinely impacted my left the point where I live in fear and I get so scared and will spend hours and hours researching the possibilities of these things being true. Misinform damages literally every single person involved even people who don’t have OCD. I’m just so sick of it. This dude has a huge platform and it really bothers me that people can get away with this shit

so it’s been a few days i lost my best friend it’s been hard my ocd has gotten worse but i had a therapy session yesterday it went okay i guess… but i was telling her about losing my best friend and telling her i’m still highly aware that it’s ocd… she was like well a psychiatrist would diagnose u with ocd then she asked if i pay attention to numbers and im not for sure sometimes i don’t even know my compulsions.. but i do repetitively like tell people my thoughts so i’m guessing that’s repetitive reassurance.. my ocd thoughts were rlly high this morning like: “what if i hurt myself” “what if i want it to happen” “do i want it to happen because i’m going through a lot” “i don’t want it to happen… but what if there is a reason to” but it makes me nervous that i’m afraid it’s true because i think this happens from a tramatic experience from losing a classmate even tho i wasn’t as close with her it tramatized me bc she passed away due to s*cide and i guess that’s why it started my fear because she had mental issues and that started that crazy maze with my thoughts.. but not the only thing after when my best friend passed away at the funeral it was a open casket, she was rlly pale and it was rlly scary i use to constantly check myself to make sure i wasn’t gonna turn pale but it calmed down but then last night i was having trouble sleeping because i was having racing thoughts while i was sleeping so i guess i was sleeping very light but i get scared i will die in my sleep… my therapist still hasn’t figured out saying if i have ocd or not and sometimes i feel like i’m depressed or if i’m bipolar

So, a few nights ago, I had a really intense panic attack because I’d did some really stupid googling and basically convinced myself that I have cancer. Ever since then, things have been…off. I can usually bounce back from bad flare-ups, but this has been different. I just don’t really feel like myself. I also don’t really like being by myself and have struggled falling asleep because I don’t really trust my own mind not to overwhelm me with these intrusive thoughts that I have cancer. I’m not really sure what to do. I guess all I really can do is wait for it to pass, but I was just wondering if anyone potentially had any advice/wanted to reach out? For the record, my doctor has NO idea that I suspect I have ocd symptoms, and getting meds will probably be a whole thing, even though I would love to start medication at some point.

I'm a 16 Y/O male who always had anxiety and panic attacks. Recently my anxiety went up terribly with a fear of having a brain tumor or having an aneurysm. One night this terrible thought came into my head about killing my family and how simple it would be and it scared me to death. This feeling went through my body and I kept thinking "what's stopping me" | don't think I want it but what if I do? What if one day I get so angry and snap? I feel like l'd rather take my own life before someone else's but what if that won't be the case later on? I've tried meds before but eventually just never took them. I'm not sure if I should take them again or if they'll make me even more insane. I feel like my brain won't be able to control its self someday. I don't want to feel like this anymore but I really can't stop it. I live in such a small town with not much "therapy" that's face to face. Most of it is online. I want to be okay. Can someone please PLEASE help me.

ocd has always made me think i’m pregnant. but it has been blown up like never before today. The last time i was sexually active was the last week of March. I got my period a few weeks later in April. I was supposed to get my period on the 29th but i am now 8 days late. i’m freaking out. the last time i was sexually active was in March

My dads recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and has had surgery to remove it, the absolute most stressful and worst time of my life. I had a pretty good grasp on my OCD but it has COMPLETELY let loose. Is this normal for OCD to flair up and get really bad when something extremely stressful and nerve racking comes up? My intrusive thoughts are hammering right now it’s eating me alive in already such a difficult time.

This has only started to occur within the last year (I’m in my late 20s). I’ve become obsessively concerned with every single sensation I experience in my body constantly. Realistically, I don’t have any health concerns (besides mental health). I have an intense fear of having a medical emergency in front of another human, I find it to be so embarrassing (only for me tho, if someone had a medical emergency around me I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all). I constantly think I’m going to pass out (I have passed out in public before due to heat and people were laughing at me). It seems like all my bodily sensations have now become foreign to me and everything I physically feel is an indicator that I’m dying. Anyone else struggle existing in their body like this too?

I don't want to have to address every single medical concern I think I have because of medical bills but then I'm concerned I'll miss something that will kill me. My kidneys start hurting = "oh no I'm gonna have organ failure! You have to catch these things early! What if I shrug it off and I die!" I don't know how severe my pain has to be for it to be serious! I'm in pain all the time it seems and my tolerance is high so it's hard to tell if I need to address it seriously or if I am overreacting

I’m wondering if anyone has tips for practicing self love. I feel like I’ve hit a wall because of my ocd, where I’m upset because I was born with a brain that doesn’t allow me to trust myself, and even though my traumas and trials weren’t my fault, it’s still entirely my responsibility to fix the damage that’s been done, a task made extremely difficult because of ocd. I have to trust myself to put in the work to be better, I’ve made so much progress too, but it’s not enough, and it’s not coming fast enough. For example, I have a skin picking problem. I keep making progress and then stress or other factored cause me to relapse. I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself why I can’t just be normal, why I can’t just stop, leave it alone and let my skin heal. I hate myself for struggling with this, but the more I shit in myself the worse my condition becomes. I want to practice self love, I want to learn to trust myself, but I have no idea where to start. I don’t want to feed into the ocd by googling possible solutions and whatnot, I figured asking members of the community would be a safer choice. If you have any tips to share please do, thanks 💪

i’m just getting over a pretty bad anxiety attack. it also started when i was making food and a wave of nausea hit me which of course sent me into a spiral. however i started thinking about how i’ve really neglected actually trying to work through my fear and thoughts over getting sick. because i’m so hyperfocused on getting my harm thoughts to diminish and be gone, i haven’t been doing the same for my contamination. i’ve pretty much diagnosed myself with emetophobia. and i know that’s so unhealthy to do especially as someone who’s not diagnosed with anything, but there’s absolutely no way in hell that i don’t have it. i cannot remember a time where being sick wasn’t on the forefront of my mind. and i do physical compulsions for it, but i never really thought i had intrusive thoughts over it. but when this (and past plural) anxiety attack was happening, my mind was telling me “if you just get sick, you won’t have to worry about it?”. then i took a zofran and am having thoughts of “the nausea will come back and you’ll get sick”. my heart is pounding just thinking about it. over the summer when my harm thoughts got extreme, my emetophobia essentially became a backseat thought. where it was still there but i wasn’t that worried over it. and i wished for it to come back but now that it’s here, i would do anything for it to be gone. i’m so back and forth because at least this anxiety is (mostly) keeping me from getting sick as i do anything and everything i can to prevent it. anyways, i’m so sorry this was so long but i had a lot on my mind that i needed to talk about. so much love to y’all 🫶🏻

Has anyone ever experienced this? I'm at the point in my life where I'm happy. I have good friends, I'm going out, it's almost summer etc. But I'm also struggling really bad with ocd. It's latching onto the fact that I'm enjoying life and giving me so many intrusive thoughts how it could end. I'm so afraid of getting every illness mostly rabies right now. I'm trying really hard to just enjoy life but at the back of my mind there are always these thoughts that scare me so badly. It's like my life is finally worth living and ocd hates that.

I have like 3 doctor appointments and dentist and I m so anxious about it I want to go to find out what’s wrong with some symptoms I have at the same time I don’t want to go because I m scared of bad news I feel like I can’t handle bad news

I recently saw a tiktok about rabies and now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so scared a bat bit me and I didn't notice and now I have rabies. I haven't seen a bat in a long time and in my country there hasn't been a case since 2018. But I'm so scared what if I have it or what if I get it. What if I wake up tomorrow and I have hydrophobia(one of the symptoms). I can't stop thinking about this:(

hi everyone found this app out of desperation, because i realized i never really had control of my ocd. ironically most of my ocd triggers revolve around being out of control. i have recently noticed that the stress i’m under is taking a physical toll on my body. to the point where last night i spent 5 hours in the emergency room because i was convinced i was having a heart attack and had a blood clot that was killing me. it was heart burn. i had to get an iv which is another phobia i have, needles. which i’ve been inadvertently doing my own exposure therapy due to my extreme health anxiety and needing to have tests done. every headache is an aneurism, every cough is a blood clot, every pain is cancer, tender breasts during my period is cancer, etc etc. i just turned 30. the age everyone tells you you’re too young but you know that’s not really true. so says my ocd. because if they say i’m too young i’m the exception. and besides! KIDS get cancer and die every day, why not me. so after they tell me it’s not a heart attack, it’s not a blood clot-after an xray, blood test, ekg, the next day the heart burn i’ve been experiencing for three days straight starts to lessen. go figure. talk about irony. the thing i’m afraid of is causing the thing i’m afraid of. and what’s worse is it genuinely seems logical. when you have people on the internet telling you, that’s how my sister died, and women’s heart attack symptoms look different! and if i stopped now (if i stopped caring) in my eyes, the odds are that i’ve gone this long without anything being wrong, of course when i stop compulsively checking, researching, going to the dr, looking for reassurance, that’s when it would happen. boom dead. and i can’t sleep, but lack of sleep can make you sick, damages your brain. and i can’t eat, but lack of calories you cant think, your body can’t function. and when i can eat, it’s too much, i have stomach pain, my intestines don’t work, it’s definitely colon cancer! speaking of which that DOES run in my family. and so like i do i wanted a colonoscopy and everyone told me i was too young. but tmi (which i believe we are way past that at this point) i have horrible ibs (cue irony again, stress makes it worse!!) and im severely constipated, which means i get fissures and have hemeroids. aka BLEEDING out of my body. so they said sure, but you’re too young to find anything. well they did, a polyp and they said i’m extremely lucky because it’s so rare to find anything in someone so young. (again young? didn’t people only live till 40 up until a few centuries ago?) anyway so that validated my fears to the point where i’m convinced im physic. my ocd loves it. i don’t believe in god, anymore. when i did it was fuel to my ocd fire. as a little 7 year old i didnt know what ocd was, but i’ve been responsible for the health, death, etc of my friends and family ever since. now that its not praying its through other means like, holding my breath waking up stairs, having to walk evenly on each foot, i honestly dont even have that many examples because its unconscious at this point. i wont even realize im doing it, ill look down and im pressing the tips of my fingers so they all feel even. whatever that means. i try not doing it and i get nauseous. after all it’s not hurting anyone. rather the opposite, im saving lives! please sense my sarcasm here. anyway the list goes on and on. and here i am, 30. “too young” to have any problems. but when i think back to when i was first diagnosed, i think 9 years old. i thought 30 WAS OLD! and you know what, it’s starting to feel too old for this shit. it’s exhausting, aggravating, isolating, anything but good. and i genuinely apologize if any of this is triggering. i just need to get this off my chest. im grateful i have a loving family and partner, but i put so much of this on them. and they don’t know what it’s like and im glad. i downloaded this app and read through the first couple posts and started to cry. of course its sad but more than anything people actually feel the same way as me. i’m not the only one im not alone. that matters to me.

I’m having difficulty sleeping again. My left arm is hurting and I’m experiencing a slight headache. I can rationalize it out but it’s still keeping me up because I’m scared I will die in my sleep. (My arm hurts because of crocheting for hours on end and my headache is from sinuses) I shouldn’t be scared because I know I’ll go to Heaven. But it’s still keeping me up. I think about death then my son and husband and how they would be devastated. And keeps going… Any tips to help me sleep