Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
Not necessarily asking for reassurance and I know I’ve mentioned this here before but my OCD has been affecting my cognition seemingly. I’ll forget small things or put things in odd places sometimes, or mix up words - things like that. Obviously this triggers me to be like “Alzheimers/dementia.” Can anyone relate? And if you recovered what did you do for it?
Hey there everyone, first I would like to say I am very grateful for every single one of you on this platform and it feels so much better knowing that I can be heard. I’ve been hyperaware of my swallowing for 1-2 month. I feel like I have so much saliva in my mouth and I have to swallow and swallow. I feel the urge to swallow even I don’t NOTHING in my mouth, so I just swallow air. This has been really overwhelming and I feel like I can be so easily latched to other body part of my part. For example, I was conscious about my blinking and breathing for a few days, and now I get so anxious when I heard a weird sound my ears make after each sentence I speak. Is this somatic ocd or health concern ocd? I am so helpless and having a hard time to shift my attention. Does anyone have any suggestions or just words of encouragement would really help me at this moment. I REALLY appreciate your help. 💗🙏 Thank you !
im so tired of trying to express my feeling and feeling so dumb. im so angry and my chest hurts from sadness and stress all the time with no one to talk to, this is so lonely. the only friend i had got annoyed with me and said maybe this is happening because i dont listen. i hate this so much and i gained so much weight from stress. i cant look pretty or happy if i tried.
PLEASEEE READ!! I know this sounds ridiculous but lately I’ve been soo hyperfocused on my breathing. I feel like I’m not breathing right/properly, it’s hard to explain.. it just feels wrong or like my breathing pattern is wrong. How that’s possible? I have no clue. I’ve had this all day. Has anyone ever experienced this?? My doctor keeps saying anxiety but I just feel like something isn’t right.
OCD Journey Stories
Promoted
Everyone I knew with anxiety seemed to be so different from me. I have never just had anxiety out of nowhere. There is always a specific fear behind it, no matter how irrational.
By Erika
Read my Health and Contamination OCD story →In September I had unprotected oral sex. I haven’t had sex in five years because even before that I was so ashamed and worried about sex. I finally did it and then a few weeks later while I was at work I started to be very itchy all in my underwear area like up to my butt. I didnt see any blisters or anything but when I googled it, herpes came up. Eventually I thought maybe it was the new underwear I bought and it went away after I stopped wearing them. However it’s returned twice, mostly when I’m really worried about herpes. I know this makes little sense because I don’t thinking about it would cause an outbreak but, either way I’m really nervous to go get tested because I heard there’s a high false positive rate and if I get a positive there’s a huge chance I will just become a recluse and never speak to anyone again. I already have so much trauma with sex, vaginismus, etc. I can’t imagine telling anyone I have herpes and then they 1) don’t want to be with me 2) now know this and could tell anyone they want Even if I don’t have it I was reading it could be asymptomatic and 80% of people who have it don’t even know, so now I’m worried I will get it no matter what sex I have. I can barely handle staying alive with just OCD but now with social stigma with herpes I will feel like I can not even live a normal life. I am already freaking out about it and don’t know what to do. I am worried to go get tested and it saying I have it, and then I’m worried to not and potentially spread it, I’m not even having sex with anyone right now so it’s not like I would. But I’m worried I will forget to wash my hands and touch something and someone else will touch it and then get it. I’m just having a really bad time.
Hey. So I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety with my bladder. Every time I urinate I feel the need to completely empty my bladder and it has to feel “just right” so I’ll sit on the toilet for more than 10 min straining every last drop out. And then on the other hand I’ll hold in my pee for a long time because I dread going to the bathroom knowing I’ll take a long time. I’ve also noticed I’m getting bloated more often and this in turn makes it harder to get the rest of my pee out. I’m worried that I’m causing health issues with my bladder so I’m thinking of seeking medical advice. Has anyone else had similar issues?
Today marks my third day on 150 mg of Sertraline, and I've been noticing some symptoms or issues that could be related? I'm wondering if anyone else deals or has dealt with something similar? I've been having really vivid dreams and nightmares, and when I wake up from them, I'm DRENCHED in sweat. Like absolutely soaked. But besides that, I'm extremely anxious. Even the dreams I can't remember leave me feeling off, and then I spiral wondering what they were about. Then there's not being able to cry? I'm not incapable of feeling emotion, but the tears feel trapped, and I just get nauseous if anything. There's been a couple of times where I've been able to cry, but it's like on and off 😭 Oh, and the last thing is constantly feeling hot? Like my face will feel flushed, but the rest of my body is a normal temperature. It's weird🧍♀️
So I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD and my psychiatrist prescribed me with zoloft 🤔 but I dont know im really hesitant to start medication because im scared of the side effects and ik afraid of relying on a medication for a long time. Does anyone else take zoloft? What is it like? Any side effects?
Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.
I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I can’t be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think I’m having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which I’m terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? I’m scared. I don’t want to get worse and I don’t want these thoughts to scare me.
my appointment with the psychiatrist is months away and still need to confirm everything but after talking with my therapist last night I just feel even more scared. Like scared I'm not going to provide enough info and then she'll tell me that nothing is wrong then all of this is for nothing. Of course, id love for there to be nothing wrong with me and to feel none of these things that have been bothering for so long. But the fear of being told that there isn't when its causing so much worry... it's making me really anxious. But it also makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm just looking for attention or making something out of nothing. Even though I know very well it isn't nothing. I know that people sometimes take years or even decades to get help or get a diagnosis that actually fits what they've experiencing and im scared of that too.
It's been more than two weeks im obsessing over social media especially my classmate who have freedom to do whatever like wearing revealing clothes be on social media. I've been buying clothes to do exactly like her which I really don't want to do it. But still I planning when to wear and when is the perfect timing. Also even if I wore ut my picture looks ugly then I might pan to do other day. The thing is I'm continually thinking when and how especially when your family member are lil strict. I'm think I ng continually which is effecting my studies alsoeven if I job I still plan when what if I didn't got time. I'm fedup I want to be happy and stay happy. I can't do this anymore because i can't have anxiety due to my heart problems. Plz anyone help me I will be so greatful. Plz and plz.
Hey fellow OCD warriors! Wanted to ask if anyone else’s OCD tends to latch onto change and catastrophize with all kinds of worst-case scenarios. There’s a lot going on in my life, and even though they are all exciting things that I truly want and am happy about, I’ve had moments of deep fear at so much change happening and even a sadness that I can only think is a kind of grief of entering a new stage of life/a new me and leaving the old one behind. I am in my mid-20s and a lot of this centers around nostalgia and fear and intrusive thoughts of changes like my parents getting older, myself aging, friendships growing apart leading to loneliness, etc. I know I need to treat it as any other OCD flare-up and do ERP, but it also feels different than other OCD themes because I feel blue and like existentially sad. Even as a young kid, I always hated change and the thought of growing up (even if exciting things were happening) - like I cried when I turned 10 because I was leaving the single digits behind forever! 🤦♀️ I feel like I’m preemptively mourning things like losing my parents or my health even though I am healthy and my parents are too. I don’t want to waste the time I have ruminating about the future. I haven’t heard this kind of theme mentioned a lot so just wanted to see if any others could relate.
i’m so sorry, this is a bit longer than i anticipated. for the people that struggle with periods on this app, i’ve had irregular ones all my life. the one i’m having now has been going on for almost two and a half weeks, i’m in so much pain, and i’ve bled through pants multiple times a day since i’ve been on it. i went to the gyno earlier this year for my first pap smear and tried talking to her about the problems i had previously faced. it felt like she ignored me and rushed through my appointment. i had to go ahead make another appointment with her because she could see me the soonest (since i was already established with her. every other office i called could only take me starting late june) due to the issues i stated previously. i’m extremely nervous to go because i’m scared she won’t listen to my issues like last time. i’ve also gone to the er a few times trying to figure out what’s wrong, but they all just do a blood test and an ultrasound and tell me to go home. i’m swimming in medical bills that i already can’t pay. on top of that, my ocd is getting to a point of being extremely debilitating. i tried seeing if the app would accept my insurance, but they don’t. even with a payment plan, i absolutely cannot afford to find therapy here. i’ve also tried looking at therapists near me, but it seems like none of them specialize in ocd. i live in a small town, so in a way that’s expected, but it doesn’t help my case. i’ve been feeling incredibly weak due to the blood loss and the lack of therapy. i just need some kind words to help me keep a positive attitude, because it’s been extremely hard to do so as of late.
I've recently been on a journey to find an effective therapy for my chronic pain(migraine). It's exhausting and draining and horrible, sure, but the thing that is the worst for me is the idea that some therapy will work. I'm terrified that this journey will end, it will have a simple solution, an easily accessible medication, and my pain will go away. One of the reasons, the reason I'm more comfortable talking about, is that my pain is real to me in a world, and in a mind, where few things can have an intense reality like pain. Generally, I ocillate between being unconvinced of my own existence or critically aware of it. I'm all jumbled up, my head is a swamp of ruminations and thought-stopping illusions, but my pain cuts through it like a knife. When my migraines are the worst, there are no more thoughts, just pain. This isn't stopping me from looking for a treatment though, and I mostly think of it as an interesting quirk in my relationship to my pain. The thing that really scares me, that might hold me back, is that I will get an easy treatment, the pain won't be there, and it was never as bad as I thought it was. In fact, this thing that has defined me, been a bouy in the storm of OCD even, was never real. It was attention, self-obsession, and it can go away easily because I'm blowing it out of proportion. I don't believe I'm lying, I'm scared that I'll be told it is a small thing or that it's not there at all. I'm oversensitive. I'm crying for help. There is no migraine, there is only OCD. It's silly to me as I write it, with a headache of course, but this is the thought plaguing me. This is what holds me back and urges me to not call my neurologist back, I'm scared it will have all been nothing, and then it will be gone.
Hi all, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here but i have thankfully been getting better with my Health OCD and haven’t felt the need to come on here, however I’ve fallen back into the trap and can’t even function without panicking and worrying at the minute! I was very stressed a few weeks ago over life scenarios when I started seeing a lot of signs and symptoms of colon cancer in young people on social media, I didn’t think too much of it. However of course a few days later I start having the symptoms! Sore stomachs, constipation etc. I have been so worried, I went to my doctor and got constipation medication for a week which I took but since stopping I have the same symptoms and more and I am worried so much everyday I’ve been hyper aware of my bowel movements! I have even been trying to force myself to go when I feel like I don’t really need to which in turn has caused haemorrhoids and some blood, which has made me even more anxious!! (Note: my partner actually thinks I’m going to the bathroom a normal amount and am not even really constipated anymore but I’m convinced I am) I feel like I’m going crazy and no one seems to think my worries are rational - can OCD/ anxiety impact your bowel movements and stomach? I’ve never really had this and I’m petrified of it, I hope someone else has had this scenario before and has came out the other side (edited)
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life