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Help! I’m having intrusive thoughts every two to three minutes. I learned about this things called manifesting and now I’m afraid my intrusive thoughts are manifesting horrible spells to make people do horrible things. Make it stop!

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I honestly can’t deal with this anymore. I have a 2 year old who needs me, a partner and family who love me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to leave my family behind. I just wish there was a magical fucking cure to heal me!! I can’t confess anymore because my partner put up his boundaries. And literally drowning in thoughts. I haven’t stopped obsessing about these things for days on end like the whole time I’m awake, till the moment I fall asleep. I never get a break. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m over living a life that doesn’t even feel like I’m living. I’ll probably just be stuck this way forever so what’s the point… I know that sounds selfish but I can’t help my feelings. I cry every day almost. Had a full on mental breakdown today. Feel so fucking bad. Feel so guilty for these thoughts. I literally have been in the backyard screaming like I’m dying over these thoughts for atleast an hour today. My daughter hears all of this from inside. I’m a terrible mum and a terrible partner and a terrible everything. Everyone would be better off without me.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I’ve never been under anesthesia, i’m 19 and I should be getting my wisdom teeth removed, I am supposed to call the oral surgeon, but I still haven’t called after two months of getting my referral, for a few reasons. 1. I think i will die or suffer from serious complications/ be able to feel everything but not be able to move, almost like sleep paralysis, because that type of thing has happened before, only in redheads… I am not a redhead. Just the impeding doom it feels like a possibility. 2. Who will take me/drive me home while i’m coming out of the anesthesia and possibly saying silly things. I don’t want anyone to see me in a state i’ve never been in before. I feel like i’m going to say horrible things that are either directed at the person who is caring for me, or just in general. Even sexually explicit/ morally wrong/ flat out disturbing. If my boyfriends take me what if I tell him I don’t love him ( I do). What if I say something sexual that could be offensive, like sexual acts with other people? (I’ve never done/Will never do). I can’t have my mom take me cause she would hold those things against me for however long it felt right to her. Etc. My teeth are suffering and the anxiety of the what ifs eat me alive every time I think about it. To me this feels extremely vulnerable and it makes me more uncomfortable than anything to not be in control of my words. My sister specifically is an example that makes me feel these things. She told me that our mother said to her when she was healed from getting her wisdom teeth out that my sister said something so bad that my mother said she would never repeat it. Which is very out of character for my mother. And my sister and I are almost positive what she said was a sexual connotation. Has anyone else had this experience?

Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts

Advice needed 8 years ago I had the worst experience ever with intrusive images. They were flashing like crazy. They felt immersive. They felt real. My first worry was “what if these are from god” and I found that other people experience that I proved this wrong… however it’s resurfaced Now it’s “your images look weird… nobody else’s images look like this” So I check my memory But god, it’s difficult to know what’s accurate and what’s not How do I prove it’s not supernatural? Not from god? Not from something else? Not something more than OcD? I’m afraid there’s a message - something telling me to do something bad I just want my old head back and not being in this space Please help

Does anyone else suffer from the lack of motivation to do anything but obsess, that they lack the initiative or desire to take care of themselves. Such as proper bathing, etc. I always thought OCD was cleanliness and order, but my life is chaos, anxiety and misunderstandings and conflict in my home life. They think I initiate the conflict, but I only react to how I'm being treated to due to my OCD/anxiety, but they treat me as if nothing is wrong with me and are not supportive at all. Every day is a repeat of the day before. A never ending downward spiral. I'm convinced at times, I've seriously somehow unleashed demons that are oppressing my life and my especially my mind, and it scares me to death. I feel like I'm spiraling towards an abyss and once I plummet into it, I will be lost to true insanity. I used to take such pride in taking care of myself and things. I was constantly tidying, arranging, straightening things out of order. Now it's like, I'm exhausted from being in fight or flight, but I still suffer from the crippling anxiety attacks. Highly agoraphobia, so I leave the house only for doctors appointments and the like. I have no friends. It's a very miserable life. I've lost all hope. I posted a short, yet rambling bio as my first post. Hopefully, someone can relate to it and this post! Hugs to you all, Liz

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

So today while I was talking to myself, sometimes I do this, my mind said something like to ask for a sign from God and I didn’t mean to ask it or even wanting to ask it. I was talking to myself about something that happened a few months back for when I asked God, my grandmother who’s my guardian angel, and St Therese to help me get over the hunch of scrupulosity and OCD (I’m Catholic). They then gave me a sign in Church to let them know that they heard me and I felt peace, love and excitement then. I have been dealing with something lately that I asked them then to send me a sign if something didn’t happen or occurred, even though I couldn’t picture myself saying that. If anything I would have said the exact opposite to prove what happened or occurred, not to show me a sign if something beautiful didn’t happen. Yet the feeling felt so strong as if I did say that and it kept replaying in my mind over and over again. Going back to in the moment, It just went to my mind and blurted to my mouth about asking a sign from God even though I didn’t mean for it or intended it. I then got a thought thinking that I saw something later this morning thinking that God sent me a sign about something. Well, later this morning while looking at my daily Bible app, I saw something and my mind and feelings said that God sent me that sign. Now I’m flooded with anxiety because I was getting these thoughts before and now they like manifested into reality. It’s like as if God planted those thoughts in my head to tell me what’s coming and what will happen. I’m so angry, anxious and sad. I’m scared now that what I didn’t say is actually something that I said. It’s like God is constantly trying to tell me something and he’s keeping on telling me as if he’s playing a game with me and he won’t do it until I give up and give in. I don’t know what to do. I felt very depressed last night because last night because I couldn’t take this anymore as if God is telling me these things or he revealed me to something. Is this God or OCD that’s doing all this to me? I know it’s a lot but I just need feedback from you guys

tried eating some chips after more than a year of avoiding them (fearing something bad will happen if i do) and got extremely anxious so i left gc with my friends for 5 days and forbade myself from texting my wife until tomorrow to “balance” it. this is actually so fucked up but i can’t stop these thoughts, i don’t feel like i’m in control at all

My ocd is in a spiral. My passed away on December 30th and it’s been taking a tole on me. She was sick for a year and half. Couple months before she was diagnosed with cancer I basically told my teachers a lie saying she was I’ll in order to take my exams early so I can go home early. She had diabetes at the time and she’s a single parent but my mind wasn’t solely set on her being sick from on it while I was sending out the emails. Even she was on board with me telling them that she’s basically sick because she gave me a document that shows she’s scheduled for a colonoscopy. But still it isn’t right.!I feel so bad because as soon as I said that a couple months later she gets diagnosed with colon cancer stage 3. There’s this spiritual saying that you’re tongue is powerful, and it truly is. Now I’m having a hard time sleeping. I can’t even grieve without my ocd having multiple episodes. Everyday it’s something new. My ocd is now saying I basically killed my mother and I wished sickness on her. Please help me I cannot go to this funeral nor live with this hanging on my shoulders.

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I have OCD for as long as I can remember. But the last year it has become unbearable... I don't know how to move on... My brain began to generate terrible, and scary thoughts about the people who are the most important and dearest to me. It's tough even to write about this... My fear is based on "magical thinking" and the belief that if I think something bad about someone I love, bad things will happen. And the more I worry about it, the more terrifying scripts my brain creates. Here is my OCD story in a brief summary. I started to have intrusive thoughts as a kid. Even in my childhood, my rituals were mostly mental. During my college years the obsessions almost disappeared. Then a few years later they came back (probably because of stress at my work), but I still could live with intrusive thoughts because they didn't take up most of my time. Everything has changed recently, after a chain of traumatic stressful events occurred in my life in a very short period of time. My anxiety has increased significantly, OCD has gotten worse. When I was looking for some useful information about struggling with intrusive thoughts, I read a post by a woman in which she wrote that she was afraid of accidentally cursing her child. I understand that it sounds crazy and there's no logic at all, but after a while I realised that this thought popped into my head and I can't get rid of it. This really scared me. I know that OCD quite often attacks the things we love and care about. For me, it's my family. I'm afraid that I'll wish my loved ones something bad and it will hurt them... These thoughts come up against my will. I realize that this is illogical, and probably the only person I can harm with my thoughts is myself. But the "what if..." thought destroys me. Unfortunately, I can't afford the ERP therapy because I live in Eastern Europe. At this moment, I'm researching sources and specialized literature on my own. As I understand one of the main factors in the success of therapy, and one of the first steps is the acceptance of the thoughts. But in my case, the problem is that there remain a couple thoughts that are still in my mind unacceptable (like wishing bad things on my family). I don't know what to do about it... I'm so desperate... Maybe someone has experienced something similar? I really want to believe that there is a way out of this trap because OCD is taking everything I care about... I'm really scared, and it's occupying all my mind.

does anyone remember what their first experience with OCD felt like? im pretty sure i know the exact minute it happened. I was nine and my cousin was over for a sleep over, i remember she was on my bed watching a youtube video, and i was on the floor watching a youtube video. Then all of a sudden i got this horrible feeling it felt almost like deja vu? but i was terrified and i was so anxious i went and threw up. After that my mind was never the same, at the time i was so scared that i had been possessed because thats what i imagined it would feel/ look like, i became obsessed with the thought that i had become possessed. i kept asking my mom for reassurance that I hadn’t gotten possessed or had “made god angry.” im just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or if maybe that wasn’t OCD? Part of me still wonders if maybe i actually am possessed and i don’t have OCD even after 10 years. I obviously know thats not true but it’s always the “what if” ya know?

Hey im Felix and I’m 20 years old. Ever since a couple of weeks I can’t get a certain thought out of my head. It started in a period where I got my heart broken and had to move around quite a bit due to family reasons and work, which was very stressful for me. I also started having some physical problems since then. The thought that is stuck in my head is that I ruined my life by smoking a joint in summer and will never be happy again. I feel like I deserve the OCD because of it and it will never go away. Did anyone experience something similar, please respond I’m desperate. All my love, Felix

So basically, I'm afraid of having schizophrenia or becoming possessed (I'm religious). And I have been noticing I'm really paranoid lately and almost believing delusions or what ifs in my mind. Obviously I know they are crazy, but my mind keeps doubting it. That's what scares me the most if I listen to it one day and go crazy.

I have no idea how to interact with anyone really and I think everyones mad at me/thinking about me when I’m literally nobody and I was gonna kill myself recently but I told myself I gotta think of my wonderful family that wouldn’t want that but if I didn’t have them I would still do it I’m pretty sure. I’m definitely a bit manic at all times at this point but I don’t think about hurting anyone at least I just think that something is watching me at all times and it’s messing with me?

I’ve been debating medication for 3 years. I was wondering about other peoples experiences bc I don’t know many people with OCD. Or what types of medications have helped or if they even have? Can someone please give me some insight. The thoughts are extremely annoying and feel very REAL and uncomfortable. It makes me think everyday something I think can become true or I want it to be true. Any insight please?

I don’t know what it is, but I have an odd trepidation of change. There is something about it. When I buy a new shirt, I fear something bad might happen if I wear it. When we moved to a new house, I didn’t like the change at all, for 5 months straight. When I used to rent cars, I would get emotional turning them in. Why does this happen?

On my run this morning a person stopped me to ask if I had a phone on me, and I said “no, sorry” and kept running even though I did have my phone, because it was early morning and I felt scared they’d take my phone. For the rest of my run I felt worried that they were following me and would see me use my phone, because I had AirPods in so they could guess that I did have a phone, although conceivably I could have only been wearing my Apply Watch. Once I was home and that anxiety subsided, I’ve been playing the situation over in my mind and feeling like such a bad person for saying no because what if they really needed help, and I said no because I judged them based on appearance and the situation made me scared they’d take my phone. I’m worried something bad will happen to me as karma.