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the NOCD Community

I just got out of a friendship with narcissist and I wonder if these people take advantage of those with OCD because we are trusting and kind? Obviously I understand NPD is also a mental illness, but hurting people is never okay!

I started treatment about a month and a half ago. I have learned SO MUCH and gotten so much better! OCD no longer has power over me! I still experience the symptoms, the unwanted thoughts, but they don’t control my life anymore and they come waaay fewer and far between. My anxiety and depression is at an all-time low and I’ve faced fears that my OCD was keeping me from. Aka I’M ENGAGED! I’m so grateful for NOCD, for all I’ve learned, for my wonderful therapist, and for this community. Here’s to a lifetime of kicking OCD in the butt 😏 There is hope. It’s so possible to live a great life with OCD. Keep going everyone! Much love to you all, especially those still in the depths. Have hope and know you’ll get there ❤️

I'm sorry if this appears as seeking reassurance, to some extent it is. I just have no one to talk to right now, and it's more to do with my general state, rather than my ocd specifically. I'm just so low at all times. I don't see a way out of it, every path I imagine I just see a dead end - fear, embarrassment. I just don't know what to do. I have been having suicidal ideations and they seem to be the only thing giving me a serotonin boost. It's such a horrible thought. My brain just keeps using it as a solution to my problems and I recieve a chemical reward at the end. That's just no way to live my life. I have a therapist, but they are away and I have not been able to speak to them. I wouldn't do anything stupid, it's just my ocd saying things, but it's just no way to live life. I've cut myself from everyone, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too anxious all the time and it just wasn't working, I don't blame her. It's just that today I saw she was posting photos of someone else and all my relationship ocd trauma hit me all at once. I'm sorry for this rant, I just need to get it out somewhere. You don't have to respond if you think it would be reassuring. I just don't know what to do. Don't really have much of a purpose, I don't see my value in anything. I just want the nightmare to stop. So sorry again.

Hi my name is Shubhra, I'm 19 and I just joined, I've seen about three therapists and 2 psychiatrists and currently just seeing a psychiatrist since my insurance changed and my therapist did not work with this insurance. Going to these doctors felt good but I never felt understood, which is reasonable since my age, that they did not want to diagnose me with anything besides depression and a "unown anxiety disorder" But I started noticing a pattern in every relationship I had been in, I would obsess over whether my partner was good even as a person, some thoughts were very intrusive and demeaning of my partner but then they would switch to me idealizing him, but I was always anxious being in relationships. I had so many fears they would leave me or end up being a pedophile or were cheating on me. I would obsess over the littlest things that could indicate they were bad. I wouldn't be able to sleep very good and my mind would only think of them but not in a good way, in this obsessive cycle, and because of this uncertainty, ironically I wasn't able to trust myself when a partner of mine was actually abusive, which made it very difficult for me to leave, It was like I was addicted to this obsession with them even if it killed me. and then I discovered ROCD and it made sense, my therapist never heard of it so we looked at it together but I didn't feel she really understood. But after all the chaos of relationships, I recently decided to take a break and not be in any relationships till I heal and know myself. Because I was in back-to-back relationships always chasing that rush and almost forgetting the chaos it came with. Now not being in a relationship I realized I don't just do this in relationships, it is more extreme in relationships, but my mind is constantly going and I never know what decision is right for me and I can never keep up with my thoughts because they always counteract and go in different directions, Today after seeing NOCD youtube videos, it was the first time in my whole life I felt understood because when I was a kid my parents just thought that I was overly sensitive and I grew up and everyone thought I was unpredictable but today I feel normal, I feel like I at least know one thing, and knowing I have this or symptoms of this makes it a little better and a little less scary and tiring.

I've just been feeling really depressed lately and really just feeling like I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I feel like I've been really emotionally overwhelmed? Thinking about all the things that I wish that was doing with my life and everything I've been through but its just really been getting to me lately. So I started to think about my theme again and just kept thinking like maybe it is true and at first thinking like that's ok, there's a possibility but it doesn't have to ruin your life but the more I thought about it I started to freak out and think no its not ok and I need to figure it out right now. Then I started ruminating and checking and the thing is (because my current obsession is worrying about being autistic) I can relate a little bit to some of stories that people tell about not really fitting in or like having really intense emotions but I don't relate to any of the social/emotional issues like not understanding body language or facial expressions, strict routines or sensory issues. I guess the biggest thing that stresses me out the most is like I can relate to some of the ways that their brain works like sometimes I think of something funny so I kinda giggle out loud or being frustrated with questions that don't have a yes or no direct answer and not knowing how to answer, like I figure that that's it. That means I'm autistic and that freaks me out and start to get scared. I feel like I also start to like try to justify why I do or used to do something that might be considered autistic and say oh well yea I do/did that cuz of this... which I feel like my go-to is "trauma response" but even then a lot of autistic people are actually doing certain things cuz of trauma and I seriously just can't tell anymore if I actually am in denial or it's OCD and it's literally hell. I don't know does anyone have somet advice that might help with feeling like I'm in denial or just OCD?

i have developed a fear of it, whenever i hear ambulance noise i get thoughts whether it was real or not. my life is becoming hell, me and my parents cry everyday. i read people taking anti-psychotics for it even freaked me out more. i was seeing erp therapy for it and found out that watch “a beautiful mind” , when i searched it and read about it , it gave me chills . i have no guts to watch it, because i fear i might relate things with it or pick them up. i have this from 4-5 months, it had got better in between but i dont know how it got triggered again. will i be able to live a normal life? my fears related to it:- do i have it? will i get hospitalised? will i have to take antipsychotic for lifetime? anyone who has some help regarding it, please help, its making my life miserable.

Also…. Noticing my hands are aging big time but I can’t stop washing them all day long. Any tips? They’re so dry and gross.

it’s so wierd cos when i see a good looking child my pocd tells me i’m attracted to them bur it’s like a feeling and i feel really anxious and i try to convince myself i don’t find them attractive, but like i feel sick at the thought of like ever wanting to d anything sexual/ or be with them or anything, i just think there nice looking ir whatever, it’s nit even like thoughts anymore it’s more like false attraction/ intrusive feelings. please tell me someone else relates as i’ve been reading articles about p3dos and stuff as i thoight it would help me and it’s just triggerd me more and i cant even enjoy anything anymore as it’s all i can think about, i don’t ever want to be a p and it’s honestly the worst thing ever when will it all stop??

tw mentions of pocd a few days ago I has a really bad intrusive thought about my little brother and since then my ocd won't stop bringing it up,I really don't know what to do its like I can't even get close to my brother or be in the same room as him without ocd telling me i will do something bad to him. I'm really scared and I don't know what to do, I even had a dream about it. how do I stop this? why is that same thought not going away?

Is it soocd when i have had thoughts about three years, they are becoming worse and worse. I have "come out" My parents and i dont feel better. I think it about it 24/7 and it comes on my dreams. I avoid my friends and school. This makes me very anxious and depressed. When i am out or watch TV, i check that i don't find same sex attractive. I am also worried My bodyparts.(broad shoulders, fingers) I am scared that they mean something. I am scared that everyone know that i think about my sexuality and am unsure. I have never been attracted or crushed to girls. Only boys. BUT when i was little i was interested sex. And i watch a lot of videos of lesbians and just girls. So can this ne even hocd?

Hi everyone! I am new to all this and I am not really sure if I have OCD. But basically in elementary school a "friend" made an fb account on my name, with a picture of some girl in a bikini. Then I knew nothing about social media and I was naive. Since that profile i started obsessing about it, checking out if she deleted it all the tims, but back then I didn't gave much attention to it. Just recently, like a year ago when something happened that trigerred mw, I stareted searching my name on all social media platforms, looking for a fake account making fun of me. I am pretty rational and chill person and I can not connect this behaviour with my real self. Just that some kind of fear occupies my mind and I get info searching myself, If I have a bad day it might take an hour of just doing that. When I dont find anything I feel relly calm, but quick after that doubts start bombing my brain like "what if you missed it or what if you enter your name with one more letter, or a number". It escalated last year when I was home because of covid, I spent all my time doing that, stoped going out in a fear I will miss something out. This whole situation triggered me when a friend of mine found out she had a crazy ex that was secretly filming their home, and I started searching videos of me on innapropriate sites, in a fear of video of me changing my clothes and convincing myself that I look like someone on a random video, than I see that I dont and I feel better, but within a half an hour new ideas that it is me and i should check it out comes. It ruined my life, i stopped seeing people, trusting anyone etc. Part of me knows that all of this might be a trigger from that profile in elementar school but then my brain is pretty loud that I am only comforting and lieing myself by thinking that. I just cant connect me a really rational being that I know I am and then those thoughts. I start thinking am I right about them too. I couldnt find anyone experiencing something like that around me, so maybe I find someone here that can relate to it.

Does anyone on here happen to have hyper specific health obsessions? Specifically on rare, incurable diseases. I have one in particular but I literally hate even typing the word out! I’m so sick of my brain being like this!! I was doing great for months and all the sudden it’s back after seeing one tiktok comment that mentioned it.

I can’t seem to do anything right anymore. I’m losing friends and people so quick and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. My OCD is not helping because I overthink everything. They left without a reason or at least they left without telling me why. Obviously I’m the problem.

When people tell me to accept it, do they mean accept the thought or accept that you have these thoughts. Because I have Suicidal OCD and I get these thoughts and just can’t accept that I could do something like that

Anyone that overcome somatic ocd and what to share his history?

Does anyone else take FOREVER to leave the house? Especially if they are going out of town for the night. Its so awful, I always end up getting to my destination hours after everyone else and miss out on fun things. 😞 It's awful. Leaving the house causes so much anxiety and triggers my ocd like crazy to where I feel like I have very little control over it. Anyone veterans out there with suggestions on what has worked for you! Please help! I've been dealing with this for close to 6 years now. 😪😕😭

My ocd today is so bad ): I got aggravated at my little siblings and now I’ve been getting harm intrusive thoughts. I hate it, I had to go and lock myself in the bathroom because I’m scared I’ll do something. Everytime I walk past them I’m scared of hurting them and I get symptoms of anxiety. Does anyone have any Tips? I try to agree with the thoughts but it just makes me question myself even more. Sometimes the thoughts are statements and it’s getting to the point where I think something is truly wrong with me

After many months im thinking again if my suicidal thoughts are ocd thoughts or ideations... Something bad happened that made me a little hopeless about how i will handle this and i had a thought while i dealt with the strong feelings that "i dont want to live like this,maybe even i want to die" and i started to think if i really ment that or its just ocd... but it made me stressed. Once i even thought its better to die and imediatelly i felt so bad, scared and started to think if its real or not...

I met a guy on THIS app and we talked everyday for months. I was even planning to go meet him in his city. He started becoming distant while still trying to sext me here and there. Today I find out he’s trying to pursue some girl at work and that’s why he’s been distant, even though he was just telling me his sexual desires not too long before in the same conversation. When I called him out on all do this he blocks me on everything. He picked me up right after a breakup where I was on mental disability. I posted on here and he commented to make me feel better, and it went from there. I didn’t need this. My mental health is shattered. I’m tired of feeling used by men and giving my all to them. My self esteem is so down and i can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with me. Be careful who you meet on this app even if this is a mostly nice community.

I genuinely think I contracted food poisoning . I had barely eaten throughout day until I got home from work . Had a sandwich and fries. I felt so stuffed afterwards , that I started to feel shortness of breath and nauseous. I felt better a little agyer but still felt full, I then stupidly continued to ate despite that. I had a pint of ice cream I had been saving since I got home. My main symptoms I’ve noticed have been Alor of dehydration, nauseo, and shortness of breath. Drinking water isn’t helping . I’m scared I’ll die in my sleep. I don’t wanna have to ruminate and get anxiety and possibly have to ask parents to rush me to hospital .