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Grief is very confusing and misunderstood. Maybe even more than OCD. It's terrifying.

Anyone else feel so depressed because like I’ll share what I need from my husband over and over and he continues to neglect me? He works all the time and even when he’s off he’s never present. He’s always leaving the house and doing things or just doing everything BUT quality time with me and I’m pretty sure that’s my love language. It makes it hard when I have OcD on top of that because then the only time I do see him I’m trying to get support for my thoughts and he just gets frustrated and sometimes he’s used my OCD fears against me and I feel worse for them. I feel so alone, I’ve tried to tell him how neglected I feel, but he just says he feels the same, sometimes he apologizes, but then he doesn’t really change anything. I don’t want to have to beg my husband to spend time with me or fill my needs, I’m so exhausted. And OCD and depression on top of it while having no family support, just makes me feel so utterly depressed. Anyone?

Ummmm I read this post where a girl is saying basically that “someone with intrusive thoughts about raping someone could actually rape them as a compulsion” is anyone else actually as uncomfortable as me about this? Please tell me I’m not the only one who completely disagrees with that statement? I understand this girl has ocd and I don’t think she is capable of actually doing whatever intrusive thought is happening in her brain. But c’mon… if someone who claims to have POCD actually raped a child, that is not a compulsion, that is a CHOICE, to physically HARM that CHILD. And I would seriously consider that person probably doesn’t have ocd. I believe someone with those types of thoughts/fears would never act on sexually abusing someone, I know ocd can make us do crazy things but this has really disturbed me and hoping to get some advice on how I can approach this post on NOCD?

TW I care way too much about people who don't care about me. I try not to hurt people's feelings, and I try not to do things that will cause them grief for a really long time, because I know how bad grief can be, but nobody's there to support me. The people who should listen to and support me, don't. And the people I reach out to, don't. Everybody. I've tried talking to everybody. But I've never felt heard. I rack my brain trying to figure out why every single day for the past two years, but it's probably more simple than I'm making it -- people don't WANT to listen to me.

As most of us know, any form of birth control can have many side affects on how we feel. I was wondering if other women out there have had worsening symptoms of OCD or anxiety when you’re on birth control. What kind of birth control are or were you on if you don’t mind sharing. What works best for you? I believe my emotions are really intense which makes OCD even worse. I’m considering trying another method/brand.

Hi folks, I want to do exposures and I need some advice from yours. So I have the problem, that if I WANT to trigger myself during and exposure, it won't work, I just don't hit the right spot. I must say, that I am doing these exposures on my own right now, because my therapist is in holidays and will give me scripts next week, but these are my problems with exposures: I am often too exhausted and worn out, so the stuff I try won't trigger me I don't hit the right spot with triggering myself, because it doesn't work Often I am triggered when I don't want to be and if I want to be triggered, it won't work I am often distracted by other stuff, other OCD stuff like my nose is itching, cool stuff I wanna do or cool stuff I bought myself, being bored Do you do you exposures a certain time a day or do you try to be calm before them so you can focus on the exposure or what do you think should I do? Appreciate advices, thank you

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

I did the gay poem test but I actually got a boner without anxiety, but I don’t get it. I didn’t really like what I was seeing but I had a boner, I took it off because I got disgusted but feels like I forced myself to get disgusted. What do I do? “Accept uncertainty” but then that’s just suppressing your sexuality and hiding from it. It’s like telling someone “don’t think of sex” it’s impossible, I can’t stop. How can I just say “maybe, maybe not.”

I have recently started suffering from the thought that when we die we just start our life over again and therefore do all the same things again and again and again. Recently my mind keeps telling me that anything I do I’ve already done and it is really familiar to me, like dejavu I suppose. But this is constant to the point I can’t function properly- it all started after an awful weed trip where I thought I died and the same event kept happening over and over and over again. Has anyone else experienced this or know of a way of moving past this?

When I enter a department store or a clothing shop and it's music playing my OCD very often is kicked off starting to follow the music, my compulsions starts repeating the suicidal content over and over again- I so much with to kill my self, again ana again- and in addition I am often in the store because I am uncomfortable with what I am wearing so in the end as I escape to the changing room I feel totally worn out, and sit down sweating and the suicidal rhythm can then follow me for the next hours, even days. It feels like I am so strange with this, but its been like this so many years- the more upbeat the music the more intense is the unwanted thoughts , I am absolutely not suicidal- so to listen every day to thoughts that says" I so much want to kill my self, go kill yourself, so much want to be shot" and so on and so on, it's terribly exhausting . Thank you a million times for this app.

I feel so tired of this heal concerns and contamination OCD. Before Christmas I ordered some makeup from Sephora in Sweden, I wanted to try the Rare Beauty makeup. So when I got my package I noticed the box was 75% opened from the glue sealing that boxes have just above the strip that means to be pulled and open the box. It seemed mire a like problem with the glue from the box. But sadly for me it wasn't like that. I almost immediately started to think: what if someone has opened the package? What if someone has used it? What if it's contaminated? What if someone opened it to put something dangerous there like some biological dangerous thing like spores from some bacteria like Anthrax? I know it's too exaggerated. But in my mind feels like there's a chance for that, since there's always evil people who tries to harm others with aby excuse like being exteeme religious, political ideas or some prejudices, racism etc. So all of that made me BELIEVE something it's wrong with the makeup. All the boxes look good and clean. But as they don't have any stickers to seal them. I also thought what if. I cleaned all the makeup bottles but I haven't dare to open or try them, they have been there in a safe place in the living room since before Christmas until now. I Still struggle as I can't drop that believe away. I ordered it once more, I got it today, and the package was even more open this time, just like 2% of the box was closed. I decided to call to Sephora, I told the woman at the customers service about my condition with OCD. She was so kind and said she was going to investigate with the warehouse. She asked me for some photos. She reminded me I can return everything as long as I haven't used it. I have considered to return everything, but I feel almost stupid that I won't be able to use the makeup even when I'm so eager to do so. If I return it I will OCD to gain over me. In fact I don't seem to find anything that is really perfect or good enough. If there's someone who could please tell me what has worked for you when being so extremely overwhelmed and så red about something being contaminated or dangerous. I'd like to get some opinions and advices in what should I do? Does this sound even possible for you? Am I letting the OCD take so much control over myself? Thank you

hi guys, im really looking for advice right now. this is going to be a super long post with a lot to it so i apologise in advance! i know reassurance isn’t good, but i really feel like sometimes it really confuses you on whether something is bad or not? does that make sense? i’ve been with my bf a while now and when we’re good things are amazing, but when they’re bad they’re bad. long story short, there’s been many incidents where he’s been name calling me, including very degrading words such as “wh*re” and when he called me this a few months ago this summer, i was very upset. he took me out the next day to make it up for me but then i saw messages on his phone between him and his friends of videos & pics of other girls. some were half naked, some had better bodies than me, society’s desired body shape. keep in mind his friend is married and he’s doing this too. anyway- i see my boyfriend send a post of a girl that tried to make a move on him during a night out (which he was honest about) but he sent it to his friend and said he “shagged her” i feel sick even writing this still. he swore on his little brothers life, my life and god he was just joking. but it got to me so so much bc i felt so mentally drained from the previous days argument and now this. my anxiety was sky high after for ages. even now when i think about it i still have doubts. fast forward to two weeks ago, i saw more messages on my bf’s phone of half naked girls (even tho he was apologetic about doing it the first time round and knew how much it impacted my self esteem, confidence and mental health) and i couldn’t stop crying. the worst thing is i said to him show me the messages and he deleted them. there’s been a few incidents last year where he liked other girls pics too and claimed it wasn’t him. idk i believe him but sometimes i dont. like all of this on top of the hurtful things he’s said to me really really get to me so much. we had a convo about it just over a week ago and he promised to do better which is good but i feel the damage is there. anyway, i have very bad rocd in terms of cheating. like me being unfaithful. i constantly avoid other men and interacting with them. like i won’t even walk past them. even opening the doors to delivery drivers give me sm anxiety it makes me sick. i don’t go on social media after a certain time incase i message someone and don’t remember. so last week i had a party, and my fears were still there bc i knew other men will be there and i did avoidance still. but there was a moment when i was taking pics of my aunt and a group of guys walked past me and the attraction felt so real and different to all times before, even the GR. i feel so disloyal even typing this. i feel like i cheated. and im scared that bc this attraction was there (maybe fueled more by the ocd) what if i stepped towards the guys when they walked past? i know i didn’t make contact bc id feel it and id know (even tho im doubting this) but im scared that i stepped towards them out of the attraction which is scaring me so so much. like if i did i cheated right? my friend said no. but i feel so sick. i also feel like feeling the attraction was bad, it felt intense but this may have been ocd mixed in? idk? but then the other part of me is maybe i felt like that subconsciously bc of the issues with my boyfriend? im not sure, i feel very confused at the moment. i have the biggest urge to confess but im scared. i think im more scared because of the times my bf has spoken about other girls etc and he’d do it more. bc one time he said he’d do something with another girl if i did something and after he felt bad when he said it but i feel like its really impacted my nervous system. do i confess? did i cheat?

So I'm 18 years old and I was just at my friend's house to celebrate her 17th birthday. She had another friend there who is 15 (will turn 16 early next year I believe. Anyway we spoke a bit and ended up getting along. Now that I'm back home I realised that I was talking about a guy from this movie I like and I said the name of the movie that he acts in. Now I'm worried because the movie is mature. I'm worried I shouldn't have mentioned it in front of her. I know she's not that much younger than me but I'm still worried. Was I wrong for that? I'm scared of hanging out with her again because I've never really had a friend with that age gap so I'm afraid of what we'd talk about. What's appropriate and what's not. I'm a very anxious person and hardly leave the house so I don't really know how to associate with people and what is and isn't appropriate to talk about with someone who's 15. Do I just talk to her as I do with my friend who's 17? Am i over thinking this? Thanks in advance for the advice x

Does anyone else’s harm ocd mix in demons and wondering if they are possessed or taunted by demons? It feels like this at times although I’ve chosen to accept that it’s not up to me to deliver me- but the power of God to see me through this. All I can do is take steps with ERP and my therapist. It feels like I have harm, scrupulously, and fear of losing control all rolled into 1 theme at times. I try to figure out what I did to cause all of this and why God is allowing this to happen😢

Huge TW for health and disease-related OCD and mention of fear of a pet's death Hello everyone I'm new to this app and wanted to make a post introducing myself by telling of a recent story that made me realize that what I thought was just anxiety is probably full-on health OCD. This all happened last month. I always wanted a pet so I made the decision to adopt a very sweet cat I met at a shelter who was instantly attached to me at the hip. She didn't scratch much and I never saw her bite or hiss, very mellow and gentle and she loved attention. I did all the research, bought everything I needed and I was good to go. However, on the first day I saw blood in her poo and this sent me down a spiral. I asked a vet about it during her check-up and everything came back normal. I still couldn't stop worrying about if she had a disease that would make her suffer and I wouldn't have any idea and she'd just be dead the next day (cats are experts at hiding illness) or that it could even be passed to me, even —I don't want to say the name but it starts with an r and it's very deadly— became a near constant worry even though she had ALL her updated shots, perfect health-checkup at the vet, and there was just literally no way on earth it was possible for her to have it. I was constantly obsessing over both our health, and even before I got her I would obsess over my own health with freaking out about getting cuts or getting sick from people in public, etc etc. the list is literally ENDLESS. I thought I was slowly healing from it which is why I thought I'd be okay with having a pet. After the worries were just not calming down, with a heavy heart, for her and my own sake, I made the decision return her to the shelter and it absolutely broke my heart. She didn't deserve that and I still miss her everyday. I still hope she at least was able to go to a good owner without these types of issues. Man I just want to be able to have a pet like everyone else does without having an awful time.

Hi everyone! The holidays have been triggering for me (unhealthy food, feeling alone in my pain when I’m with my happy family, hoping I would be better by the end of the year). I started having intrusive thoughts about depression getting worse, etc., which led into the thought of “do people really care, or are they showing they care to make themselves feel better?” which led to more existentialism of “are we all just chemical reactions of feeling bad/good, and not really connected spiritually?” My thought in return to soothe is “no one knows” and “your mind is separate from your brain,” and “you start with an intention, which leads into an emotion.” But this ocd thought is making me feel more alone, since whenever I look to people for support, it makes me feel alone. “Do they really care, or do they feel bad and want to feel better by offering me support?” I hope I don’t trigger this thought in anyone, but I also need to know if anyone has had this intrusive thought and how they got through it. ❤️

So I think what keeps me REALLY stuck sometimes is that when I think or look at my partner, it feels like I somehow have forgotten who he is? Example- *like he sits, relaxes different * looks like a stranger/ like Ive never seen him * talks different/tone of voice sounds strange * face looks different, mannerisms are unfamiliar It'll go away very briefly and I will feel a sense of ease and relief, but its like my brain brings it back up into memory as soon as it goes away and then it starts all over again.

Hey I am new to the website, and I struggle with contamination OCD symptoms. I am not diagnosed, but I do have a feeling that a diagnosis is coming sooner than later. The last few days/nights have been tough. These symptoms are flaring up and I have no idea what to do about it. I do have a therapist that I talk to, but unfortunately she misses a lot of appointments and they get scheduled like a week or so later. It feels so embarrassing to struggle with these thoughts and I feel like I'm genuinely going crazy. It's like everything that I touch or come into contact with is contaminated and even things that I know aren't contaminated feel like they are. I constantly shower and or wash my hands when I feel this way. If anyone else can relate at all feel free to leave a comment, I'd love to talk to some people who understand what it's like and I haven't found any thus far. Thank you for your time.

I feel in a constant state of heart break because I feel like my relationship is at a dead end with no solution. I can’t let go of a betrayal early on in the relationship (years ago), but I’m desperate to do so, I really love my partner and I’m in a constant state of anxiety and fear that I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this. I don’t like talking to people about it in case they tell me to just leave, I can’t, I really love him. We’ve been together nearly 5 years, we live together, he’s my best friend, I’m so desperate to be okay again.

Jesus Christ bled and died on a cross, offering you and me an option. A gift. Forgiveness, reconciliation with God and eternal life. You and I don’t have to accept Christ. We don’t have to respond to His love positively. We can be apathetic, and ignore Him and even outright reject Him. Or we can choose to trust in Him. I’m asking you , isn’t it time for you to move beyond alternative options?—to Christ? Because there are really big problems with every one of those options. Isn’t it time to put your trust and your faith in Jesus Christ? Because the evidence is He really does love you. He really is a good God. Give Him a chance. Read the Gospels. Examine Him carefully. And then based on the evidence of His trustworthiness put your faith in Him. God bless you as you make this most important decision.