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working to conquer OCD
Hey everyone! So I’m currently looking for any books that might have helped you in this ocd journey. I’m currently reading untethered soul is really good. I am really in that phase that no matter how scary ocd can be I’m ready to overcome it. I’m not letting it defeat me like it has for years. I would appreciate your recommendations.
Hey guys - I am currently in the midst of what is possibly the most difficult OCD attack I have battled thus far. Not sure what everyone else’s experience looks like with the diagnosis but I have extended periods of feeling rather well (with minor rituals and thought processes showing up) followed by some major event or trigger popping up that sends me into spirals that can last for months on end. There are days where I feel that I am unable to function as a normal human being (getting out of bed, taking care of my hygiene, going to work, feeding myself, etc.) I guess my point in posting while on the midst of a valley is just to get some encouragement that it is in fact possible to recover and that the suffering won’t be forever.
I’m going over an event that happened almost two years ago and it’s making me wonder if I had bad intentions/was disloyal. I was buying a car and the dealer was an attractive guy. I was there with my mom and my sister, but I remember avoiding bringing up my boyfriend in conversation with him. When my mom brought him up I noticed and remember feeling a certain way about it like I didn’t want her to. I think after she brought him up I wondered why I hadn’t wanted to, and I didn’t understand since I never would have actually wanted to be with this man and I had considered myself a very loyal partner. I wonder if I avoided bringing it up just bc I wanted to appear attractive, or make him into me (he had come accross flirty) but I didn’t actually want him. Maybe it was bc I liked the flattery? Is this normal? Has anyone else in a committed relationship caught yourself not wanting to bring up ur partner since you liked the attention or was I disloyal in this situation? It goes against my values so much and I have no idea why I would have done that in the moment.
I have worked so hard to get an offer for medical school but I need to get the final grades and OCD means I can't study properly. For example I was trying to study and I put music on to concentrate but religious music was on my Spotify and once I saw it I HAD to put it on or else I thought if be punished for ignoring it but it doesn't help me concentrate so I quickly thought 'promise on your mums life to only play if for one minute and then switch's but I started getting the vibes from the picture of God in my living room that I am causing something bad to happena nd then I was thinking about my mum too and o realised that I couldn't use her as a reason for not playing religious music or something bad will happen to hear so of course I had to get up again and pray to God that nothing bad happens to her and also that I get the A level grades for medicine because my whole future is falling apart as my brain sounds like this all the time when I sit down to study..I just can't.
Does anyone else ever feel like they can't write down anything that has to do with their OCD? (even making this post is hard and I'll probably delete it) I feel like when I put things into words or write it down either way it makes it more real and so I avoid it. Also, I had a realization and I want to see if this is accurate.... When I have a thought, whether it be valid concern or something wildly made up, if I take a moment and think about this thought and if I don't I'll have anxiety, is that a mental compulsion? I always thought I wasn't really doing mental compulsions but sometimes I hide in the bathroom to try and sort out my thoughts so I must be doing them. I always feel like I'll forget the progress I've made in my thought process since my mind is always going 24/7 so I have to fully think it out before I can let it go. And then when my mind comes back to it, I start the process over.
I suffer with harm ocd, towards my husband I kinda was getting over it already because I knew I didn’t wanna do it but I yesterday I fell into my depression episode again. I started crying really bad. I just felt super sad. Really confused a lot of emotions till today. I still feel like that. I don’t know if it’s because my hormones are all over the place. I got sick from the flu and I also have my period but I’m about to end it and I feel a lot of things. I just feel super sad yesterday with no like motivation. I started feeling sad again with no purpose on life . I recently saw this video like when people get happy while having depression is because they made a decision that they wanna like end their life and I’m scared. I’m gonna do that like I’m scared. I’m gonna start having suicidal thoughts or like I get happy. That like I know it’s because I wanna end my life. I feel so much for my husband I love him because he’s the one that helped me out, but I don’t know why my mind gets mad whenever I think that I love him so much like it’s like something and it gets mad and makes me think I wanna kill him for no reason and I feel like no motivation for anything so it’s like you would want to do that because there’s no reason of living anymore if you are gonna be sad your whole life.
Anyone here who tried doing ERP themselves? How is it? Is it effective? Is it even possible??
Something I’m having a hard time understand and accepting is that you can’t control your thoughts. On one end, I’m told that it’s not my fault that I have these thoughts so it’s ok for them to be there, but the automatic thoughts about that thought (such as negative connotations) are what I need stop doing. But because they are thoughts, and thoughts are uncontrollable, what am I supposed to do? I understand I need to just let my thoughts be there. I understand I need to not beat myself up. But everything is so automatic I feel stuck. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Last night I had such an awful rejection thought! My mind has been coming up with more and more blasphemous thoughts. It was a rejection thought towards Jesus. It was something about “I reject J…… with my heart. I tried to brush it off and apologized to Him last night. I felt like I knew the thought was trying to come but couldn’t stop it. At first I thought “what if I thought that thought?” or sometimes I feel like my mind tells me I “wanted it” which I don’t! It’s like accusing thoughts & feelings! The more I thought about it I was telling myself this isn’t me! Obviously I started to have doubts. This morning I started freaking out because I’ve had this thought before, it was about God about a week ago. It scared me! I woke up this morning crying asking for forgiveness about last night! It breaks my heart to have that thought! I cried. I’m still scared! I need & want them forever! Am I okay? Are they still with me? I love them so much and it hurts to have these thoughts! I would never say that thought out loud but it still hurts my heart. Will they forgive me and be with me?! Any advice to move forward? I’ve been struggling hard.
I made a post earlier about how I was feeling so much better yesterday after receiving so much support on here but I woke up this morning and my ocd threw old intrusive thoughts and false memories at me that were my most painful. I just can’t escape my ocd. So now i’m back in the loop. My ocd always comes for my kids. They mean the most to me in this world so it’s the most painful theme of ocd i’ve had to face. My ocd will take any situation and twist it into something horrible. Examples are: one morning when my son was a toddler(he would sneak into bed with me at night sometimes) he woke up and he had the blanket wrapped around him and he was naked with his underwear on the floor. I had no idea why or how that happened thinking maybe he used the bathroom during the night and was half asleep so he took his underwear off before going into the bathroom instead of when he got into the bathroom and forgot to put them back on and he just got back in bed but my ocd said I must have done something inappropriate to him in my sleep and that has to be the only explanation. There was also a night my daughter fell asleep in my bed watching tv and I was in a deep sleep so I don’t remember much other than her saying “mommy” and I said “sorry mama” and moved over. I’m guessing I just rolled over on her or something but of course my ocd as always said I did something to her in my sleep. Why is my brain like this? I am always questioning myself knowing I would never hurt them or do anything inappropriate to them but my ocd makes me believe I did or every time I have a drink my ocd tells me I hurt them in some way. This is torture and a nightmare. I don’t want to live most days because of this. 😩 Does this happen to anyone else?? How do you get through it??
Some of my friends have noticed that things have got worse for me and have asked me what is wrong. I try to explain it in a way that shows how much I’m struggling but not so that they think I’m crazy but they just don’t get it. This would be fine but they think that they understand and they just don’t. One of my best friends asked if I was going to a psychiatrist and being tested for psychosis because I get annoyed when one of our friends chew loudly. What do I do it’s so frustrating.
Has anyone gone through this or is still going through this and can give any tips on how to make it stop? The intrusive thoughts during sexual activities are simply bothering me so much that I'm afraid to do anything like that because of the thoughts. I couldn't do it for weeks because I was always thinking about some atrocious thing, but yesterday I failed and now I'm feeling bad because even though I tried not to think, it's like I had an open folder in the back of my head and I blame myself for not being able to delete or block it. I'm afraid that avoiding it will become a compulsion and disrupt my sex life, but I also don't feel comfortable doing it often because of the thoughts. Does anyone identify? any tips to improve? I'm repressing myself because of this and I know it's not something that will do me any good. Sorry if this is inappropriate.
Hello, so tomorrow I am going to a fun theme park with my best friend but I’m afraid I will have anxiety and OCD the whole time about random small things like I usually do. I don’t want to waste this fun day tomorrow at a theme park and don’t want to have anxiety or OCD the whole day instead. I want to have fun and not think about OCD. How do I overcome this?
Hi guys, I know I’m annoying as heck. I am always on here posting or needing help. I’m having bad anxiety right now and just am so scared. Everyone says sit with anxiety or just let it be. I always just think about going to the hospital or why I feel so bad. Wondering why or what I can do. I know I’ve had OCD but it just came for no reason besides that! I’m so scared!
Today and tonight I'm just feeling lost...like I'm not living a full life that I should be. That everyone else is living their best lives and here I am working on my OCD, hating my horrible job and just trying to male it thru the days...😥
Of crying of every little thing I hate how sensitive I became I wasn’t like this I used to be so strong there was a point in life where I didn’t even cry for three months I thought I was getting better I’m sick and tired of my own self I wish I could buy a new heart and mind because I would do anything for it I’m so tired.
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