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any tips? for when a theme / thought(s) you had overcome before come back again and deeply bother you?

Hi. I was in remission for about three years from harm OCD. I am absolutely terrified to harm my kids. I went to therapy, but I don’t feel like I completely followed through with ERP. I have been on 5 mg of Lexapro and that seemed to calm my mind. It has now spiked and I have spiraled for about a week now. I just want positive feedback to getting better and staying better and that this is just temporary. I’m not sure if this is seeking reassurance, or just seeking hope. I would love to know some tips and tricks for staying consistent with yourself on your journey.

13 days and still feel like my anxiety and like little panic attacks ?

18+ please. I had met my current best friend in Junior year of highschool, and we only became truly close during our Senior year and the following few years. She's been basically the only person I've associated with (outside a few buddies I had before graduation) amidst my depression and my life basically falling apart. I've done a lot of rumination over my handful of years of having her in my life, and the conclusion I've come to is that I've been absolutely terrible to her, despite the fact that she swears up and down that it's not the case. The first point of rumination is just all the times I've said creepy/perverted stuff to her, tried to engage with her in a sexual way, etc. There's been so many moments throughout our 4+ years of knowing each other where I would say something dirty/flirty in hopes something would blossom, and it was either so ill timed she would call me out on it, or she didn't really realize the implication. A handful of occasions I had been a bit pushy/trying too hard without really realizing it, but as I've grown as a person over the last few years I end up remembering and feeling gross about it (and scared that some of it could be legally considered coercion.). I'm also struggling with a couple of false memories, or at least, what I HOPE are false memories, convincing myself that I either have tried/wanted to touch her inappropriately without her wanting it at some point. She tells me that I haven't done that and she would remember if I did, but I'm so scared that I've wanted to do so at some point and convinced that I've tried at this point and the thought horrifies me. I sometimes feel like I only ever became her friend for sexual reasons, or something. Something I'm horrified could be true. A point my mind holds against me often is how I'll video call with her when she's in a state of undress, and it's like, I'll want to do it more because of it? As scummy as that sounds? What makes it worse, is that I talked to her the other night about things that we often do together that in my eyes are an intimate thing, whereas she sees them as stuff she does with close friends. Showering on the phone, stuff like that. Which makes me feel worse for pursuing a relationship like that with her when it was never there at all. The second point is largely a byproduct of the first point, where I had often felt immense guilt over my previous actions and would profusely apologize and deliberately avoid her for long periods of time. She's told me that I've caused her a lot of pain doing that to her, despite me feeling like it's the right thing to do quite often. So despite everything I've talked about, like I said, my friend doesn't have any issues with me. She swears up and down that I'm too hard on myself, and when I ask what exactly she wants out of our relationship, she says she just wants me to keep being who I've been, who in her eyes, is her chill friend she can talk about whatever with and play games with. All of what I've talked about isn't even a factor. Something me and her have talked about is how she's pretty dense when it comes to social things, so part of me can't help but wonder if I really have been as horrible as I think I have been, and she simply hasn't had it click. Despite everything, I can't STOP doing some of these things. I've cut back on the more serious things, but I can't help but occasionally throw her a compliment or try to flirt a bit. It's like an impulsive thing I feel like I have to do. Again, she says she doesn't care. But is it not a concerning behavior? I care about her so much, man. Maybe high school me was only thinking about sex. I don't know anymore. All I know is that even if I didn't care back then, I DEFINITELY do right now. She's such an amazing person and easily the best HUMAN I've ever had in my life. That's why this is tearing me apart so thoroughly. The idea that I've been so horrible to the only person who actually CARES about me at all makes me lose sleep.

Is it worth it to email my professor about our flipped quiz and me using my notes? Our quiz was online, to be done at home, but wasn’t on a lockdown browser and you could freely open and switch tabs. I thought I remembered hearing it was open note and then the free tab switching solidified that thought. After taking and submitting it I realized what if I had misheard it, and I cheated? I looked it up and while canvas doesn’t tell your teacher what tab you went on, it has timestamps of “when a quiz lost focus” or when you leave an online quiz. I also didn’t find anything on canvas that said it wasn’t open notes, but nothing that said it was. I wasn’t using ai but my class slides I have downloaded. I’m not sure if she will fail me for the quiz or the class or if she will do anything at all about it. I really can’t fail this class because it’s a major requirement and is only offered in the fall and it’ll set me back a year behind, there’s also the financial and gpa aspect. My roommate said to email or talk to her tmr about it, but the other said I should wait till she releases grades/sends me an email about it. I’m not sure if it’s worth it to talk to her tmr after class, since she’ll probably have some graded by then or started. I feel like bringing it up will make it worse and I’m just freaked out. I can loose 10 points on a quiz but I can’t fail the entire class.

hello. ive never been “tested” or anything to find out if i actually have it or not, but ive been convinced for about a year and a half that i do. i thought id download a support app like this and ask from people who actually have it: does this seem like something worth reaching out to a professional about? - i consistently drive myself crazy/give myself headaches/mentally burn out by repeating the same line in a song over and over again against my will. nothing i seem to do makes it go away until it simply fades. this can last anywhere from 5-90 long minutes. - i think ive come to the conclusion that i have some kind of dermatillomania. i often find myself picking at my skin (all over my body: back, fingers, face, knees) when i hadnt realized it prior to catching myself. i find it hard to stop once ive noticed and can also get into obsessive fits over being able to pick at my skin until it is completely smooth/flush with the rest of the surrounding area. this can also stem from me simply feeling my own skin and finding an “impurity” like a bump or something. it used to be so bad that i would try to tear my goosebumps off if i ever got them. - i need to have everything meticulously planned out before i do it. for example: lets say i want to relax in bed and journal a bit. that would be impossible without about 2+ hours of prep beforehand. i have to shower (which is its own hellish process), make my bed, clean my room, make sure my room is at a certain temperature, make sure the pajamas i want to be in are clean (and if they arent then i would wash them), get all my journalling supplies together, find the right music to play, etc. i feel paralyzed if i cannot prepare for things like that. if i desperately want to do something but dont have the means to “prepare” for it, then i become obsessive and irritable. this also applies to work/school. if i cant do a project, take notes, write a paper/lab, or anything right the first time, i struggle to start it at all. - i have crippling social anxiety. im constantly thinking about what the people around me are thinking. i feel hyper-aware of peoples emotions and the changes in their attitude/behavior. it is so tiring to deal with and i cant turn it off. - i have indecent thoughts about people i would never ever ever in my life consider willingly. these thoughts extend to family and friends, and in ways im even terrified to think of. i oftentimes have thoughts of someone close to me r@ping or assaulting me (even though i know they would never do that). ive heard this is a pretty solid sign of OCD but im just not sure. i am disgusted by these thoughts but they are relatively easy to shake out of my head compared to the whole song lyric thing. - i am perpetually unsure of what is real or not because i daydream so lucidly and so frequently. i will be stuck talking to someone in my head and be called out more times than id like to admit. this is one of the bigger reasons i think im going crazy… please if anyone has any input or advice/instruction on what i should do, please help

Uuuuuh, I just got an anxiety attack out of nowhere because something triggered one of my ocd themes and I was overthinking about it. I feel better but still scared, I'm trying my best to just let the thought be

I think very frequently about my love life, mostly reflection on where I’m currently at and how I feel about potential partners in my life. Sometimes, things are quiet and there’s not many prospects, while sometimes, things are loud and there are multiple prospects. Right now, I’m in a period where there are people in my life I’d like to go out with, but I just have absolutely no mental energy to do so. I have no desire to pursue any of these prospects because I keep overthinking everything that could happen, like “what if we get together” or “what if I miss out on my true partner” or “what if this ends like my last relationship.” All of these horrible thoughts are from my OCD, no doubt about it, and I’ve just been so preoccupied on finding my person for SO long that I find it impossible to live my life without that search. It feels like it’s eating me alive from the inside out. It’s almost like I can’t be happy. When I have nobody to get involved with, I wish I had a girlfriend. When I might be getting involved with someone, I’m scared to commit. Doubt doubt doubt. I just want to be content with where I’m at, and I wish there was a way I could be completely 100% assured that the right woman would come into my life someday. I’ve raised this concern to people in my life before, but the response has always been “you’re only 22, you shouldn’t be thinking about finding a serious partner right now” or “the right person will come along when you stop looking.” That doesn’t help me calm my nerves 🥲 anybody else felt this way before?

I am in therapy like its very irregular and i am very inexpressive , so every conversation isbvery surface level i feel , like maybe my problems are not worth yk discussing and when it comes to intrusive thoughts i just cant , i did tell her i get really bad intrusive thoughts but not ghe content , it been happening since i was 11-12 i did get into therapy at time time also but i didn’t know how to express those thoughts and the compulsions and that I dont actually want it , so i used to try expressing in weird ways like i feel scared all the time and stuff like that so the therapist told my parents that i just needed attention well after that i just stopped - like my ability to express deteriorated each passing year and at this point - the guilt and shame is so high, i have lost interest in everything, i have minimised my basic needs because it increases the shame and guilt- also like i never thought i would restart therapy but i had a really bad depressive episode the starting of thebyear that i had to- but its just not working like i feel maybe i am gonna stay the same i feel so hopeless (Sorry for the rant and. Thank you if u read till the end because my thoughts are just too messy evidently)

I just wanted to put my story out there because OCD is kicking my butt today and I just need to vent. About3 weeks ago I was bitten by a dog in my apartment complex. The dog (fancy little pure bred) was vaccinated and quarantined for 10 days and was cleared. My OCD was focused on rabies for the first few days but it subsided after quarantine confirmation. This morning I woke up with a sore throat, my mind immediately went to rabies. Was the dog they quarantined actually the dog that bit me, because I was never able to see the dog they quarantined? This dog was crazy and jumped and bit my hand, even though crazy is the dogs typical behavior but that has to mean rabies, right? Maybe the dog didnt actually clear the quarantine and the sheriff didn’t do his due diligence? OCD is such a jerk. It holds on to the worst case scenario and just won’t let go. Sitting with this “it’s rabies” thought is so scary and hard. It feels so dang real. I’m trying to just sit with it but this theme is really hard. I Googled a bit this morning which just fueled my OCD but stopped and put my iPad away for the day. Just wanted to vent because today is really scary and hard. Any tips on getting through the day would be much appreciated.

Hi guys this is my first post :) Panic disorder and OCD combo- i struggle with existential OCD and have an embarrassing fear of death and the process due to past trauma. These thoughts will not leave me alone from the moment i wake up to falling asleep- and it triggers my panic disorder into where i can’t function. I am 20F and am trying to get into my lifelong passion, EMS. My emt class is next semester and i am having a horrible flare up to the point nothing feels real and i am panicking around the clock… please help me

Hello Please tell me what are intrusive thoughts ?? What i can tell is -thoughts that suddenly appear in your mind or pops up and you are not even thinking about it. In my case i am sure i had anxiety first ( due to genes ,environmental factors plus many more factors) ?? From childhood I worried about real life situations hyper arousal hyper vigilant and what ifs taken to catastrophization level then after that I developed oc many years later I’ll give you one situation —If I am going to make a dish —Due to my chronic anxiety and self critical nature I have already decided i won’t turn out to be good. So all the what ifs comes and i have oc so what is the exact right amount of salt to put so my dish doesn’t taste bad. What if i added too much salt so i need to know the exact amount of salt to put in a dish. I think thats how i developed oc after many years from being super anxious to having oc patterns in me because both disturbed me a lot. First i had chronic anxiety that led to OC thats what i have found out ( my best diagnosis after going to psychiatrists and finally finding one good psychologist in 2026 ) so spent almost 7 years to found what i have. Because now i need reassurances and what ifs comes plus mental rumination doesn’t stop. Do you think it’s OC (mentally or internally) (if that’s the right word) i have physical oc but very less ?? Please explain me if anyone can?? It would be of great help for me Thanks.

Haiii guysss!!! I’m back with an update: Today was my third day of 10th grade, and honestly, it was a rough one with my OCD. My “forgot/lost/left something” obsession was REALLY loud today. I ended up taking way too many photos and videos for reassurance. I took them in almost every class, almost every place I went, and eventually I caught myself taking photos of things that didn’t even make sense anymore. At one point I was basically documenting the ROAD. 😭💔🥀 I’m disappointed because I had been doing better with this recently. On my first day, I managed to leave some classes without taking proof photos at all, and yesterday I took photos but didn’t go back and check them. Today, though, OCD got louder and I fell back into the checking cycle. But I’m trying to look at this differently. ( Even though I’m disappointed ) I didn’t fail recovery. I learned something. I can see much more clearly now what the compulsion is trying to do: convince me that I need photographic proof before I’m allowed to move on. And the more proof I give it, the more things it finds for me to document. So tonight, I’m choosing not to continue the ritual. I’m not going through all those photos, zooming in, checking them, or trying to reconstruct my entire school day. I’m letting the uncertainty be there. Tomorrow doesn’t need to be perfect either. I just want to take one small step toward resisting the compulsion again. Recovery isn’t a straight line. Sometimes you make progress, sometimes OCD gets louder, and sometimes you realize halfway through that you’ve been taking pictures of the freaking road. 😭💀 But I’m still here, still going to school, still learning, and still working on recovery. One day at a time. ❤️ I also wanna mention something honestly that I kept inside me for too long, I’m extremely lonely. Like I talk to some classmates at school but when the day ends we get to our own homes and our own lives… I wish I could make friends on this app but I don’t think I’m allowed to. If you feel the same, just so you know that… you’re not alone anymore! <3

Can a false memory feel like you're remembering something in your past that you completely forgot about? Mine is about doing something harmful / inappropriate but I didn't remember it for 16 years. Is that possible?

my therapist has recommended medication to help manage my symptoms. of course, I’ve heard lots of negative things about SSRIs and I don’t usually recommend them in my own practice (as a therapist). I’m worried about becoming numb, and struggle with feeling like I’m making up OCD symptoms (OCD brain trying to convince myself I don’t have OCD). are you taking medication? if so, what kind/mg? what’s your experience - positive/negative?

So over the past year, I’ve been obsessing about an event that I “remember” happened 6 years ago, & because I was drinking back then I must’ve forgotten it happened. My memories of this have built and have changed over the past year until finally I ruminated so hard about it that the worst case scenario became vivid and convincing and real. This all started when I was going through my google photos and saw a picture of someone at my house that I had forgotten even came over. I started trying to remember. I even asked someone that was there too about him and they’re claiming that didn’t and wouldn’t have happened. But my brain is thinking they’re covering for him and I’m convinced they plotted all of this to harm me & that I was just too drunk and too naive back then to be aware of this horrific event happening. I can’t stop trying to remember every detail and it keeps growing and there’s a new flash back image in my head of this event that show me like a timeline of the events and conversations that we’re had every single day. I try to tell myself that I have to be ok with uncertainty but the memory is making me hate these people and so angry that I didn’t do anything when it happened…. If it happened… I’m always unsure of what memory is real and what’s not

I’m almost the whole day trapped in a meta-thinking process (think about your own thinking). As you can imagine this is exhausting and even though I overcome the part of uncomfortable body reactions (part of it.) I think this is causing me unnecessary stress, dissociation and lack of focus. The pattern is like this: - 3 Thoughts appears at the same time and I feel like I have to create a queue on my head and start to process each of them: sensations that this thought produces, what it means? Is this something for my future?… - If I forget some of these thoughts in the middle I just start to feel uncomfortable and try to recover even if this lacks of value. It feels like “I lost something important”. I work as a Software Engineer and I think I translated the way I think on my work to my personal life and that sucks. Honestly It’s hard to divorce from the way you think and solve problems on your work and make a separation on personal life. Any thoughts on this? Being honest Im tired of this. Btw: I’m don’t do drugs, alcohol or any addiction. I don’t even use social media (actually, I hate it). My daily life is basically: family, enjoy time with my girlfriend, workout 5 days a week, watch tv and work a lot on computers.

I feel so bad for what I put my loved ones through with ocd, I have been a ball of anxiety and really struggling, my poor mom so worried, my husband he's always there for me, my kids are 11 and 6 they don't know, I always put on a brave face for them. This morning I got some anxiety while talking to my husband about ocd. He said to me you always get through it and always get better every time. To a normal person that is a positive encouraging statement but my mind goes what if I don't get better and I don't want a next time for ocd again, trust me and I know you all know when your in the thick of it you don't feel like your going to make it. It's the worst thing to ever happen in my life. It's the most despicable, torturous and evil disorder. I think I may have ptsd from it. I am not way out of the woods yet. I'm still very struggling I think the only thing that has helped me is meds. I feel I need to develope a better relationship with ocd so when it does happen it's not a big deal and won't define me. I have alot of emotions right now, sadness, pity for myself, anger at times how come I'm like this, there is a grieving process, anxiety still all about the what ifs. I have alot of growing to do still and that feels hopeful, my husband and mom tell me they feel one day this ocd won't bother me as much and that does make me feel hopeful.

i feel so alone in how i’m feeling right now. i want nothing more than to be able to enjoy life again, but putting the work in feels impossible. i work, i come home and i bed rot for the evening, repeat & repeat. the thing is, i ENJOY it. i like being comfortable. i know i need to change and i want to, but i also don’t. because of how non active i am, when i actually do have to be active, my body feels weak, my breathing is bad, im tired so fast. i don’t know how to snap out of this

ME: I wake up already feeling behind. Before I even get out of bed, my brain is making a list. Work. School. The house. My child. My relationship. My family. Appointments. Responsibilities. Things I forgot yesterday. Things I can’t forget today. I tell myself I just need to manage my time better. If I can do everything well enough, nobody will be disappointed in me. So I start trying. WORK: They’re good at their job, but sometimes things take longer than they should. They want to make sure they understand everything. They don’t want to ask a stupid question. They don’t want to send something worded incorrectly. They don’t want anyone to think they’re incapable. They check again. And sometimes they’re so focused on avoiding mistakes that it becomes harder to actually focus. Everyone else moves on. They don’t. ME: My child needs me while I’m working. I stop. Now I’m thinking about work. I feel guilty because I’m not working. Then I realize I’m thinking about work while I’m with my child. Now I feel guilty about that too. So I try harder to be present. Except now I’m monitoring whether I’m being present enough. I’m watching myself parent instead of just parenting. MY CHILD: My parent is here. But sometimes they’re looking at a computer. Sometimes they’re looking at a phone. Sometimes I have to get their attention more than once. “One second.” I don’t understand deadlines. I don’t understand assignments. I don’t understand why the house needs to be clean. I just know I want them. Maybe eventually I stop asking because they’re always busy. ME: That possibility destroys me. So I try to make up for it. I give my child more attention. But everything else is still waiting. Now I’m behind. So I try harder. MY PARTNER: They’re doing schoolwork again. I know it’s important. I know work is important too. But sometimes I miss my partner even when they’re sitting right next to me. I’ll start telling them something and realize they’re still looking at the computer. “Did you hear me?” “Yeah.” But I can tell their mind is somewhere else. Sometimes I wonder if there’s ever going to be a point where everything is finally finished and I get them back. ME: Now I notice my partner is irritated. I can’t concentrate anymore. Are they mad at me? Have I been neglecting our relationship? Am I a bad partner? Should I stop working? But if I stop, the assignment won’t be as good as I know I could make it. So I keep going. Except now I’m doing schoolwork while thinking about my relationship. Earlier I was parenting while thinking about work. At work I was thinking about school. I’m everywhere. And somehow I feel like I’m failing everywhere. SCHOOL: They read the directions. Then read them again. They write something. Delete it. Rewrite it. Read it again. Does this actually answer the question? Could this be better? What if they misunderstood? Eventually they submit it. Maybe it’s good. Maybe they even get a great grade. There’s relief. Then another assignment appears. And the entire process starts again. FAMILY: They always seem overwhelmed. We tell them they don’t have to do everything right now. They say, “I know.” Then they keep doing everything anyway. Sometimes we hesitate to ask for anything because they already seem stretched so thin. We wish they could just sit down. Not sit down while working. Not sit down while checking something. Not sit down while making tomorrow’s list. Just sit down. ME: Eventually everyone goes to bed. Finally, I have time for myself. Except I don’t know what to do with it. Did I finish everything? Did I forget something? What needs to happen tomorrow? Was I productive enough today? Did I spend enough time with my child? Did I give my partner enough attention? Did I do enough at work? Was my schoolwork good enough? Did I clean enough? Did I do enough? Am I enough? I’m exhausted. But resting feels like another thing I’m doing wrong. MYSELF: I’m tired. Everyone gets part of me. Work gets me. School gets me. My child gets me. My relationship gets me. My family gets me. My responsibilities get me. OCD gets me. And whatever is left is supposed to take care of me. There usually isn’t much left. ME: So I try harder. That’s always the answer. Overwhelmed? Try harder. Behind? Try harder. Made a mistake? Try harder. Someone might be disappointed? Try harder. Don’t feel like a good enough parent? Try harder. Partner? Try harder. Employee? Try harder. Student? Try harder. Person? Try harder. But maybe trying harder eventually becomes part of the problem. Maybe the pursuit of being perfect in every area of my life actually takes something away from every area of my life. Maybe my partner feels pushed aside. Maybe my child notices I’m distracted. Maybe my family gets tired of watching me run myself into the ground. Maybe exhaustion makes me worse at my job. Maybe school takes more time from me than I can afford to give it. Maybe I burn myself out trying to prevent myself from burning anything else down. Maybe there is no perfect schedule. No perfect balance. No perfect routine. No version of me that can give 100% to every role at the same time. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and still be all of those things. A parent. A partner. An employee. A student. A family member. A person. And there will still only be one of me.