Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi, I'm currently on 40mg of Prozac for my OCD anxiety and depression and I have a fear of never being able to get off of my meds. I've been on them for 8 years now and constantly changing the mgs. I don't wanna be dependent on medication anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to have to be on it forever. My psychiatrist just upped me to 50mg and says it's normal for people with ocd to take that much. I've never taken this much and I'm genuinely afraid going up more is gonna cause me to die or have a seizure or something bad. Im afraid I'm going to be at the highest dosage eventually and it is not gonna work for me because of my tolerance. I'm so terrified of possibly going back to being very depressed again.

For a long time now I've been having problems breathing and having a narrow airway so I constantly check my throat and have anxiety and thoughts about dying in my sleep choking or having an allergic reaction. Some nights it is very hard for me to sleep where I just am overthinking and hyperfixating on my throat to the point it feels like my airway is blocked and air can't get through. I do believe I have sleep apnea due to the fact I have nights where I wake up choking and coughing as well as making weird sounds at night. For this reason I am also terrified to eat in restaurants for having a fear of choking as well as sleeping with someone in fear of them hearing me snore and make weird noises. I also worry nobody including doctors will understand what I'm talking about or how I think. I just scheduled an ENT appointment after years of putting it off and I'm more scared of them not finding anything wrong with me. Id rather have something wrong with me so it can be solved. I am constantly thinking about the state of my throat and worried that I am going to die because I can't get a full breath of air.

It’s been 4 years since I started becoming so concerned about my heart rate and how I breathe. When it first started, I didn’t know what was happening. I thought it was asthma - I couldn’t take full breaths, my chest felt so heavy, I would get lighthearted, my pulse felt so low. After tons of medical tests, I discovered it was just anxiety and honestly I felt worse about that because it wasn’t just gonna go away. I have tried meds, cutting out caffeine, sleeping in certain positions, relaxation techniques. Nowadays, I usually fall asleep with my fingers on my neck so I can feel my pulse when I go to sleep (which is probably a compulsion and I should stop doing it but how do you stop doing something that makes you feel like you can breathe?). It gets in the way of my life dramatically - I get lightheaded at the gym, it keeps me up at night, it’s hard doing roadtrips and being in the car, I feel like I’ll randomly pass out at the grocery store. There are things I do that exacerbate it like drinking coffee but I love coffee and I just want to feel like a normal human being and do things that I enjoy. I’m saddened that through everything, it always comes back and I’m just so tired of it.

i want to feel human. i want to feel emotions how normal people feel them. i get everyone is different but i dont get it. everytime i feel human for a second i get a random feeling of discouragement and false sense of temporary joy. i want it to stop but it wont stop why wont they stop. ocd and bipolar are not a good combination

it started happening suddenly. i just get so scared when i take medication. i immediately look up the symptoms and i start to overthink that i am having the bad reactions. i have visited the er twice because of this. i dread getting prescribed something. it has made me stop taking all my antidepressants. i am terrified of having something wrong with me all the time too. any little chest pain i freak out and i try to tell myself its anxiety but another part of me thinks to the most extreme like a heart attack or pneumonia. i am not too sure where to start the journey to getting better about this.

I have ocd depression and anxiety and I have worked with psychiatrist in the past to try to find a good medication that worked for me. So far I haven’t had any success, I’ve tried about 5-6 different medication’s over the past 5 years but haven’t had much luck. I’m disappointed because I was really hoping that one of them would bring me some kind of relief, but they always end up giving me side effects (rashes, sweating, sleep problems, lowering libido). I read online that medication has been a big game changer for a lot of people and it motivates me to keep trying but the side effects affect my quality of life and I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Has anybody had a similar experience with medication? Should I keep trying? Also, my psychiatrist once mentioned that there’s genetic testing you could do to see which medication’s interact well with an individual, has anybody ever done that or had any luck?

I'm so scared because I gave my dog a plum but the pit was still in it whole. He normally doesn't chew stuff and just swallows it. He's swallowed pits before and nothing ever happens. He's a big dog too. Yet I had an intrusive thought telling me my dogs gonna die. So I looked it up out of a compulsion. It said it's toxic and I'm freaking out. Nothing seems to be the matter and he's comforting me because he can tell I'm scared. I can't stop thinking I'm a murder and did that on purpose and that I don't love my dog.

I have a sinus infection. I’m scared to take the meds because I have read that the meds can increase anxiety. I also read that a sinus infection can turn into meningitis. So now I’m terrified about that. I’ve convinced myself that I’m terribly ill and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m so tired but can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just can’t stop thinking that something horrible is going to happen but won’t take the meds because I’m scared they will make something horrible happen. This thought process is long and very repetitive. How do I break the cycle and start to feeling better? Being sick wreaks havoc in my nervous system. But so does taking the meds . I don’t know why to do anymore.

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

My placement is started I have many fears related to ocd, patients, me and Nursing. Example contamination then reassurance that I will not get infected. Then health related ocd. Other thing is which is not ocd is I hate getting up early in cold weather and go for job. Maybe I have trauma to start a day and managing time for patients which now creep me out that how will i manage just a placement and how will I do job. Also always thinking in advance how will I enter in hospital, whom I will ask where I'm working, am I in right hospital because it's first day if not iam already late. Any suggestions to motivate myself for doing placement I actually kind of gave up and it's the last placement of nursing

Hi there I suffered with health ocd and am currently getting over being sick and being on antibiotics. I feel that my ocd symptoms have gotten much worse the week I’ve been on the medicine helping me get better. Has anyone else had a similar experience or just me? Also any help with health anxiety intrusive thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Anyone else suffering with severe health anxiety? I’ve been a sufferer for years. About a month and a half ago I got a tickle in my throat and I couldn’t stop clearing my throat. Of course my mind went straight to throat cancer. Now my throat is tight, I feel like I have a lump in my throat, and I can’t stop googling my symptoms. I had an ultrasound done of my throat and I’m still waiting for the results. My doctor told me I have nothing to worry about but I’m not going to stop worrying until I get the results and see my ENT. Anyone else ever get the tight throat? It almost feels like you’re being choked? It’s hard to believe it’s just anxiety. I’m so exhausted of feeling this way 😔

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

Hi everyone. Has anyone's OCD skyrocketed after an abusive relationship and/or after having children? I've always had some version of OCD but two years ago in February of 2022, I experienced this really horrible bout of DPDR. I lost my sense of self, I was having really strange spiritual thoughts or existential thoughts. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. I'm still recovering from that. But my OCD jumps around. Today, I was worried I was having a brain aneurysm because of a mild headache and because I'm prescribed Lexapro for my depression/anxiety and a low dose of adderall for my adhd. I've been on these meds for a while with no issues but I am now getting thoughts like," maybe I'll have a stroke or an aneurysm from my meds." With no reason to think so. And then I spend hours googling. The health anxiety and death anxiety are fueled by a fear of my kids being without a mother (I'm a single mother.) in some ways, the fear has helped me to make healthier choices but these thoughts of death and the million things that can cause it are taking away from the joy of living. The DPDR seemed to kick this off. Does it ever get better? I exercise, meditate, pray, talk therapy, I just want to feel like "me" again.

I have always had a naturally high hair line that wasnt straight and leaned towards a slight M shape but the last few months i think its gotten worse. I am 19 and desperately do not want to lose hair. I constantly am looking in the mirror, feeling my temples, researching and obsessing over my hair and i dont know what to do. It may seem vain but hair is very important to me, and i dont think id care as much when i am older to lose it but i am so young and am worried about finding a wife and being in a small minority for having hairloss this young. My grandfather on my mothers side is almost 80 and still has decent amount of hair, my hairline is also similar to his and photos from when he was my age show a high hairline, however my father is bald and started to recede in late 20s. This may seem trivial to most but it is taking over my life and is all i can think about, and the kicker is is that if i am balding, stress will make it worse, so i then stress about that too. There are two medications that do well against hairloss, minoxidal (topical) and finasteride (oral). Minoxidal supports regrowth and finasteride supports the halting of futher balding. Finasteride is notorious for sexual and mental health side effects since it stops the conversion of testosterone to DHT, another androgen that deals with these side effects and hair loss. I am constantly debating taking it or not taking it but i have read horror stories about the medication and dont want to (literally) ruin my life (you can read up on it if youd like). Help or advice would be much appreciated.

Hello all, I was hoping to get some advice. I am recovering from surgery and I suffer from health/somatic OCD so it's very difficult to not think every ache and pain is something dangerous and life-threatening. I was hoping I could get some advice about how to deal with intrusive thoughts triggered by bodily pain as I heal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

I’m literally so scared right now I’m calm for a while then I start back up again having anxiety.me and this man did sexual things together but no intercourse.I was on TikTok and this lady talked about how God is warning his women to stop talking to a guy and giving warnings out that you could catch HIV,the man will unalive you and hurt you etc.I immediately feared I have HIV because I did things against Gods word.I’m so terrified and then I kept looking up the Symptoms of HIV but at the same time I know I don’t have it.I feared this before around the beginning of this year but the fear is back again.please help me.this is my first time doing sexual things (no intercourse) with a man.I’m still a virgin I’m just scared.I really trust God

Looking for some stories of hope here. I have to be honest, I’ve been on this journey for a year and a half now. I started ERP about 6 months ago and I’m constantly getting slammed with thought after thought, theme after theme, feeling after feeling. Every time I get better at one thing, I experience something else and it feels worse than the time before EVERY SINGLE TIME. I feel like I’m trying everything here. I’m in therapy, I do exposures, I got myself educated on OCD/anxiety through multiple books and podcasts/youtube videos, I made a worry journal for myself to track my thoughts as they come, I’ve done meditations, breath work, you name it I’ve done it or tried it. My brain doesn’t stop. It literally just doesn’t stop and it’s destroying me. I’m a mom of young kids, they’ve probably seen me cry more times than I’d ever want. I was just experiencing health anxiety (fear of cancer) made myself go get blood work and a scan done today (it all came back good) ONLY to now have one of my old themes pop up again haunting me. I’m starting to feel hopeless. Please someone ANYONE tell me this isn’t how it’s going to be forever. It’s been soooo long ! When does it get better? When did you experience your freedom again? Thank you in advance.

I don't know what this is but I don't think I can take another thing wrong with me. Everything in my life is going down hill and I'm so afraid of more things that would impact the quality of my life. So I was really worried about my eyes for a bit and then out of nowhere I started focusing and seeing sort of like static or pixels or noise when looking at a plain wall. I'm okay when I'm distracted though. Then today I was out on a walk and I noticed when I'm looking at the trees when it's a bit dark I can see that noise, static mostly when I don't focus on something. I'm so scared it's visual snow. I've also been really focusing on eye floaters. I can't take another thing wrong with me. I want to cry:(

Has anyone experienced OCD and the fear of having a cancerous tumor in their stomach? I was struggling with believing I had skin cancer (still do a little) but over the last few days I started to notice things moving around in my stomach and my brain immediately went to stomach cancer. I’ve been feeling like very heavily bloated and now pain in my right side. I don’t know if I should get it checked out or if this is common with OCD still? Anyone’s help would be appreciated.