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(This is a repost because the app was being weird so don't mind. Everything else is the same though-) Maybe I'm being dramatic, maybe it's OCD playing with me as usual, maybe it's something more. Who knows, I don't know so I'm not sure how you guys would know fully- but I'll still say what's up just in case. :^) So basically I'm an extrovert who I consider my family as more of friends than people outside. I have major trust issues due to past real events and scared I may mess up, I made a new friend recently and I've already shared a lot of my interests and who I am which is normal- compared to my past friends where I'd overshare and it was really bad thanks ex but anyways that's not the point. I have that friend, and then there's another friend along with a group that I haven't hung out with them individually once and we've all been together since middle school. They've been with eachother since 6th grade or around that and due to my ex I was isolated and we meet during 8th grade and with the main friend I met, we talked throughout and actually hung out next year. That was a few years ago. -- (ROCD PART) Me and the friend I stood by since 8th grade we have talked a lot back then, and hangout and in freshman year we'd chat constantly. She had a major crush on a classmate and that was usually the main topic, occasionally other things but that was a frequent topic. I'd follow along and we did things around him and jokes and it was swell. Sometimes it was a lot to where others complained but I didn't care. Still don't care. Later on we began to talk about more things and I felt as I finally had a friend for once and I didn't need anyone else, all my other friends were hurtful and made me feel absolutely stressed. We hung out outside of school multiple times and played games and chatted with full energy. -- Now as to currently, we haven't talked much. Maybe an occasional conversation, I try to be energetic about it but sometimes it just doesn't land. OCD makes it hard for me to text as well as I have to re-check over and over. Even at school when we had lunch together, there are times where we just sit in silence with nothing to talk about. There was a recent event where it was a friendsgiving and I sorta just sat aside and she and another friend talked about middle school and people's mistakes they did, sometimes it triggered my OCD and real event but I didn't do anything and sometimes joined in. (Ps. She's close enough to know about my OCD, I sometimes would go into certain detail. Such as how I get more sensitive to certain things, how I can't trust being my full self sometime, how certain things trigger me but only really told about past subtypes. I can't really remember much so don't this as she knows ALL of it.) But yeah, and I guess sometimes I feel a little left out but that's also on me since I don't join in myself. Now my OCD sort of plays with me whenever an upcoming event with friends come up since I think of possible outcomes and I just freak out. And now Prom is an upcoming event that's horrifying. I don't know how I'll deal with that yet but we'll see. I'll most likely talk about at a later time at another day. -- She's really honest as well, almost blunt. If I say something dumb it'll be known, I've been called a slow person before haha. I just say "ouch yeah I am" and move on. (This part is super dumb so don't laugh guys 😔) but I have a major crush on this fictional character who's close my age and I made a silly thing where I'd make a wallpaper and stuff of him and I sent it to a group chat with me, her and my sib and I said "lol look at this" it's a popular show/anime that's also my sibs fave/childhood so I would jokingly gatekeep it like "nooo don't tell her !! (My friend" and laughing- Until my friend said "You're acting like I'm going to take him away from you he's ugly, 😭 Idc I'm not interested in the show anyways.", my older sibling backed me up saying "woah noo he was my favorite character, show is worth it trust." And I laughed it off and then later on crashed out. Jokingly, I was ranting about it to my sibling and everything but I was deep down kind of upset. :") It wasn't only due to the fact that she insulted my fave (😢 how could you !) But it was mainly since she said she's not ashamed of her faves/crushes and she posts them everywhere and talks about them 24/7. She has pfp of her fave, posts on stories, talks about it to everyone and everything and I've discussed that I feel nervous on sharing who I am truly ! Even with my new friend I talked a bit about my fave and interests and just that I felt a bit sick afterwards because OCD got to me. (Even during random moments she talks about her faves and everyone's like "oh my goshhh" as a joke and so do I but sometimes I feel a bit jealous that she can freely talk about her favorite things but I feel like an alien whenever I do . :^() Sometimes she sends me a post of my fave/interests or mentions it and I'm like "yayy !!" But at the same time "Yeahh... 😑" and last time I sorta ranted on an upcoming movie of the show that I was excited on and only had an emoji reply back, compared to me sending whole replies on her rants so I just gave a response and left it there. Also during social media, my OCD plays and sometimes I'm scared to post on some apps through my stories and on other apps post drawings or whatnot because I'm scared I'll be made fun of. (Which makes zero sense.) I sort of feel like my personality with her and the entire group has sort of faded. I used to be really loud and add many things into the conversation but now I sort act sort of nonchalant (??) And I go along with whatever the other is talking about. Occasionally add things in. -- Conclusion: She's an overall nice person. She's honest but truthful. She does let me know that I can tell her anything which is why I sorta feel like a bad friend right now saying all of this but it's just a lot to take it and I do feel like OCD is just being taken into place. Sometimes she does say when one of her friends is being annoying or something so I'm scared to accidentally be like that as well. I feel stuck since we haven't talked in a long time (by talk I mean chat full on out.) And she still talks to everyone else. I'm scared we're drifting away but who knows. If we do end up somehow drifting, I'm scared it'll be bad and we have so many past chats and convos from other apps and irl, my OCD says she'd expose me and everything when she does NOT seem like that type of person. She hasn't done that to anyone else why would she do that to me? I have made her laugh recently during school mornings and during lunch but after-school I just don't know what else to talk about unless if I send a post of her faves or a meme or she sends me something. There's a lot more we've been through a lot and we've been friends for a long time. It's definitely ROCD(friendship wise) that's being taken into place but at the same time, OUTSIDE of OCD I do feel genuinely conflicted. And it sucks because my family loves her and I love her too I just don't know at the same time. Once again if you guys have any personal experiences let me know ! And if you have any opinions I'd love to know as well . :^) There's no wrong answer. I know you guys can't fix in a snap but I'd at least want to understand whether if I'm being overdramatic or not haha.

I got blackout drunk last night and feel the worst unexplainable guilt, dread and shame today. I’m worried I could have said or done something embarrassing while out at the bar towards the end of the night when my memory is absent. Worried I could have been judged for being drunk by all the people I ran into (lots of people home for the holidays). I just have an unshakable feeling of guilt and shame and the false memory “what ifs?” catastrophizing everything. Like I know drinking heavily isn’t healthy but outside of that, I feel like nothing inherently bad happened last night. Most people probably wouldn’t be dreading the “what if I said something embarrassing” aspect as much as me and would just say, whoa I overdid it last night. But to me it feels like rock bottom every time I’m hungover from drinking heavily lately. Didn’t used to be this way but it’s almost like the alcohol is pouring gasoline on my OCD catastrophizing. I don’t really know how normal this is but just wanted to see if anyone else deals with it or has advice for today. Because it’s so hard to get out of my head right now.

So, today in church I was seating in the seat and then the pastor says the classic, “Greet your neighbor.” So I avoid all eye contact and am just like, “Please no one come up to me.” And then a little kid comes up to me. And I tried to avoid him and I understand that’s rude but still. And then I put my hand out as a fist bump and was there with it like for a few seconds and then I just gave up. Then my parents lectured me and I said I don’t give good hugs and then they gave me a group hug which I did not want (we’re Mexican though) and then my sister came and I put my knees up, and then to the side and let her hug me and I’m worried what it means. Also I’m more friendly to my sister right now that my parents are gone for some reason. I called her sweetie, put her hood on when she was swinging because I saw her shoulders and I guess part of my thoughts was like, “She’s gonna feel really cold.” And also like, maybe I am looking a little too much into it.

I peed 4 times today and I feel like peeing again now too. I'm scared that it's diabetes because ik its a symptom. I'm very anxious

I went into my parents room without any clothes on to grab underwear and I accidentally saw a super young photo of me as a child and since I didn’t have any clothes on, it’s saying what if I did something bad or if I’m a bad person even though it’s me haha

Hello My partner is getting mean because they are tired of my OCD. I am getting frustrated because they don’t understand that this is not a choice for me, it is just how I am…I have been doing ERP for 6 years with little to no progress. It is to hard and I can’t do it

m 17 years old, female, im diagnosed with ocd , and ive been struggling a lot these past several years, but these past several weeks specifically have been hell, because it’s bringing back real events that took place when I was younger ,, when I was 5-7 I used to choke the pet kitties we had, I’m not sure why I would and i know I’d never do that again, just seeing other people yell at any animal makes me feel angry at the person and I can’t stand aggression towards animals, so I know I’ve changed and I was just a stupid kid. But what’s bothering me more is something else I did, I’m not sure if I’m remembering correctly, I was a terribly impulsive child, exposed to inappropriate/scary/pornographic content too young, I’m not sure what lead me to this but I was with my sister who is 5 years younger than me (1-3) at the time in my room, and I think I made our tongues touch… I don’t think I tried kissing or anything like that. Im not even totally sure if I’m remembering correctly either, But god, if I am, I can’t stop thinking about it, I feel sick everytime I do, I feel so much guilt, and I feel like I should tell my parents, why would I even do that?? It’s making me not wanna be around my sister, I feel like crying everytime I see her now, and my ocd makes me feel even worse than I already do about all of it, I know a while after that when I was a bit older maybe still under/around 10? Me and my older cousin did a challenge where we had to kiss to guess the flavor of a lip gloss,again not sure what lead to that.. I feel so gross specifically about the sister thing, the thing is I don’t actually remember doing it, I just remember licking my thumb afterwards and thinking to myself that it felt the same???? But I have no memory of how or what happened with the tongue thing. Idk. I just feel sick, I know I was a really bad child, I was mean and I was inappropriate at too young an age, and my father was always a bad example. I didn’t grow up with the best home life, but I don’t know if that’s an excuse. And me being only 17 now, I feel like I don’t deserve to live if I did something like that as a kid to my own sister. I love her very dearly and she’s one of my best friends, but idk if I can be near her anymore with all this in mind. Idk what to do. I feel horrible, any advice is appreciated.. sorry for talking so much

This is my first time ever making a post or even talking about this in general, but I just want to vent i guess. For years ive been dealing with gerd/acid reflux, it has me constantly burping all day everyday and causes severe stomach pain at some points when it comes to my meal timings. Recently though, it’s like I can feel its effects more intensely. It’s been causing pressure in my chest, a racing heart, and other odd sensations within my body that Ive never had or noticed before. Earlier this year I literally had to call paramedics after a gerd flare up caused some weird pain in my chest. Of course my habit of searching up every little symptom ended up sending me into one of the most intense panic attacks I’ve ever had :( I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack and I made the call. Even after getting the all clear, my brain wouldn’t stop spiraling and I had my father contact many of his cardiologist friends and even got a second ekg because I was convinced something was wrong with my heart. There is nothing wrong with it, it’s just gerd! And nowadays, even though I KNOW that the odd sensations and feelings of discomfort that I feel are very likely caused by gerd, I can’t help but feel like something else and more serious is going on, and I enter this rabbit hole of looking up new conditions and diseases that I manage to convince myself that I have that I most definitely do not have. I zero in on normal bodily functions like breathing, heartbeat, the sensation of swallowing, etc and the more I focus on them the weirder it feels so I start to panic and am forced to do breathing exercises to calm myself down quite often. It has been so stressful to my mental health this past semester and the anxiety messes with my sleep! At times I find myself unable to sleep due to my body jolting awake as I fall asleep and feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline. Of course I searched this up too (I’ve really been trying to stop searching up symptoms, but I can’t help it sometimes) and found that my nervous system being stimulated due to my anxiety contributes to these jolts! So im essentially stuck in this loop of feeling slightly unwell, getting anxious about it, trying to figure out what’s wrong which then makes me more anxious, and then ruining my sleep which results in me feeling even more unwell. I’m so tired of this, I just want to be calm and worry free :( I will note that I have been seeing doctors and am working towards seeing a proper gastroenterologist! I just wanted to let out my frustrations about how I currently feel and see if maybe someone is going through something similar. Now im just rambling at this point but I also got all 4 of my wisdom teeth out last week. If you’ve ever had a tooth extracted, chances are you know about the risk of dry socket. This week has been so bad with me being paranoid about getting it, even while I’m already past the risk window! I keep checking my extraction sites and every little spike of pain causes me to worry. I’ve limited my diet to liquids and mush, and as a foodie it’s been so difficult to deal with. Im so hungry all the time now and I just can’t wait to be fully healed

My sexual OCD has reached a point that feels beyond control. It's strange I can go hours without thinking about it but as soon as a fragment of it comes into my mind it's almost like my brain won't let me test until I've looked or acknowledged the thing in some way. I'm truly so scared. It feels like I'm one bad thought away from losing my girlfriend who I love so much. I wish there was a button to make me forget any past sexual experiences I've had that weren't with her. It's aughul. I don't know how to make it stop. I feel like I have to constantly engage my brain in physical activities like drumming or talking to people or even doing something like this. It's strange but when I talk about it the images themselves stop. As soon as I try to relax or watch a show I'm genuinely invested in watching. It's like my mind wants to go someplace else. But I don't. It's weird I know I don't want to think about these things but some rogue part of my mind does. And I hate it. I have a therapist and he tells me about the conscious and unconscious mins. But why can't I make them go away once they enter my conscious mind. I hate it I want some peace. I feel like I'm Indulging or fantasising about these things which is silly because I'm not. I don't think about these things in a dwelling sense. But for seconds at a I have this frequent battles in my head. Like it's trying to force it's way in but I don't want it to be there. But my mind feels like it's going towards it. I want this to stop. Does anyone understand this feeling

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting on here. This is a long post but I would REALLY appreciate some responses to this. Does anyone else deal with parents who are unempathetic and claim to understand OCD but actually do everything in their power to make it harder for you at every single turn? For example, I live with my parents and younger siblings currently (now that I’m employed again, I WILL be moving out in 2026 come hell or high water) and I don’t use the same fridge as them because they don’t care about making me feel even slightly comfortable enough to use it. I have my mini fridge in the garage but I moved it into the kitchen because it’s too cold in the garage in the winter and the compressor shuts down, which means my food melts. For the past 3 years, I’ve had to keep my fridge in the garage despite the fact that the food melts because my dad claimed that the kitchen couldn’t accommodate the electric power of a mini fridge (this was a lie). For the last 3 years I’ve had to stand in a freezing cold garage and microwave ALL of my food as soon as I buy it before it melts. However, this year my dad said that the fridge would be able to go in the kitchen (nothing has changed from the previous years; he just didn’t want to feel the cold air from the garage every time I went in and out and because it was affecting HIM, he decided to do something about it. But he didn’t care I was freezing my behind off for the last 3 years). Anyway, I had to move the fridge by myself while my dad (a tall, 200+ pound man) watched me struggle because he told me he didn’t feel like washing his hands and wearing a pair of gloves in order to help me. When I pointed out that not being able to move my fridge would lead to a greater decline in my health, more disordered eating, and diabetes (which I only got while living with them because I wasn’t eating frequently) he didn’t care. My mom refused to wash her hands and wear gloves too. And before anyone says that them washing their hands and wearing gloves would have been enabling the OCD; it wouldn’t have. It would’ve been helping me. The fact that I was even going to let them touch the fridge was the brave exposure that I was doing. It is truly evil to refuse to do something as simple as washing your hands and wearing a pair of gloves because “you don’t want to” when you see that your family member is starving and experiencing health issues because of a household environment that you created that they’re not comfortable to live in. I would appreciate some helpful advice or encouraging responses from y’all!

Essentially I felt like she was cheating on me. I had it all figured out in my head. The day I thought she did something she also went for a quick doc appointment which I’ll get to in a second . So I went through her phone, saw a harmless convo but at the time I genuilly thought it was a red flag. So I got more curious , I put 2 and 2 together (in my head) she was talking to a dude and then randomly went to the doctors. Ik this doesn’t make sense I’m just explaining it from my pov at the time. So essentially we both have apps for scheduling doctor appointments. So I just open the app and saw it said regular scheduled check up. Ig I was looking for a std test. So I exited the app and I felt terrible ever since. The next day I asked about the convo she had with the guy and she explained. I apologized for going through her phone but didn’t mention anything about looking at the scheduling app. I feel terrible. I have such bad cheating ocd and I rlly wanna learn how to control myself. Also this guilt I have sucks. I don’t think it’s best to tell her about this one-off thing I did but I would some input. I violated her personal info badly and now looking back I realized how much I was stuck in the moment blowing shit out of proportion

It wasn’t easy

Hello! I haven’t really posted a “normal” post on here before, my only posts so far have been replies and a short comic I did. But I wanted to make a post about boundaries because I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this. I’m still unpacking my diagnosis and understanding how OCD appears in my life (it’s hard when everything you do feels normal to you) but in my reflecting I’ve been wondering if the reason I find boundaries so abstract/difficult to understand is because of OCD. On a practical level I know what boundaries are but I struggle with them in practice. Mostly when it comes to myself. If someone shares with me something that they don’t want me to do, I have no problem following it. When it comes to me, however, I don’t know where to even start. I feel guilty a lot of the time about having and expressing needs that I think may impose on someone else’s. I often find I talk myself down in order to keep the status quo in fear of conflict. But this is exhausting, obviously. I also struggle, I think, because I’ve had loved ones, unintentionally or not, punish me for expressing a boundary or need. It feels like either way, no matter what I do, I just wind up feeling worse so what’s the point? I don’t know. If you read this thank you! And if it resonates with you I’m sorry.

Hi …if you’re reading this and you have contamination OCD…with hand washing and cleaning rituals, I really could use a community member(s) who can share their story and or struggles…and we could be a support to one another. Anyone on Team Contamination out there?😂

OCD is kicking my butt. I have to accept that I will sin. No one is perfect all of the time. I just feel like w ERP I am planning on sinning and it is stressing me out. I read to go back to your baseline to establish your true values on what your comfortable w before ocd and allow for this amount of imperfection/sin to escape the perfectionist loop. I’m just so scared of sin.

I dropped my candy bar I just bought on the bathroom floor in the store, it was sealed still, as I just bought it, I put it back in the bag and didn’t think much about it and ate it later. Now I just now thinking about the fact I ate it, and I looked it up and it said that I should’ve thrown it away even though it was sealed because there is still a good chance of bacteria. I’m seriously freaked out. Wth was I thinking… how cooked am I guys

Crystal was an 18-year-old single mother, balancing diapers and deadlines, art brushes and baby giggles. As she crled her six-month-old daughter, Ava, close, the vibrant sketches in her notebook seemed like distant dreams. Her mind was trapped in a relentless storm: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and a darkness that clawed deeper – suicidal thoughts. It started innocently enough. As a teenager, Crystal was meticulous about order – her things had their place, her pencils sharpened to a precise point. But as she entered her senior year of high school, pregnant and scared, the whispers in her mind grew loud. At first, they were manageable doubts: "Did I lock the door?" "Are the lights off?" "Is Ava safe?" Soon, they morphed into merciless screams. Crystal became consumed by an irrational fear of contamination – of herself, of Ava, of everything around them. Every touch ignited a firestorm of anxiety: germs lurking on diaper bags, bacteria dancing in the air Ava breathed, dirt embedding into her skin. Her hands, once instruments of creativity, now trembled with the compulsion to wash – wash, and wash, and wash. She scrubbed them raw, the pain a fleeting distraction from the chaos in her head. What if she harmed Ava with a careless touch? What if she wasn’t clean enough to care for her? Her rituals turned her days into a checklist of compulsions: - Tap the faucet exactly five times before turning it on. - Wash her hands in scalding water for precisely seven minutes, repeating a silent prayer with each pass. - Avoid touching anything “dirty” – public spaces, Ava’s toys, even her own hair – lest she spiral into hours of cleansing. - Check Ava’s crib compulsively, ensuring everything was “just right,” fearing something terrible would happen if she didn’t. The world shrunk. Social gatherings turned to torture: What if she touched someone? What if she got “infected” and harmed Ava? Her single mum responsibilities felt overwhelming – she barely slept, barely ate, barely painted. Friends drifted away, confused by her isolation. Her art, once a refuge, now mocked her – brushes felt tainted, colors blurred by fear. Her parents, though supportive, worried endlessly; they couldn’t understand the prison in her mind. And then, the shadows crept in. In the dead of night, when Ava slept and the compulsions ebbed, a harsher voice whispered: What’s the point of it all? You’re trapped. You’ll never be a good mum. Ava would be better off without you. The thoughts terrified her – fleeting images of ending it all, of silencing the pain forever. Crystal felt ashamed, trapped in a cycle of guilt and despair. The OCD was bad enough, but this… this felt like a sentence to a life she couldn’t bear, for herself and Ava. Crystal’s mind was a battleground. “What if I fail to wash enough?” “What if the germs win?” “What if I’m not enough for Ava?” The intrusive thoughts looped, a broken record playing the same fears. Exhaustion clawed at her, but the OCD roared louder: You aren’t clean. You aren’t safe. You aren’t worth it. You’ll fail as a mum. One night, sobbing in her small apartment, hands cracked and red, Ava sleeping beside her, Crystal whispered, “Why can’t I escape?” A fragment of courage flickered – she googled “OCD help” and found a therapist specializing in exposure and response prevention (ERP). She also found a crisis hotline number, tucked it under her pillow, and promised herself she’d reach out. She thought of Ava’s tiny hands, her toothless smile – she had to fight, for both of them. The road to healing was jagged. With Dr. Amadi’s guidance, Crystal faced her demons: touching a “dirty” doorknob without washing, writing sentences without retracing every word, breathing through the urge to check. She practiced holding Ava skin-to-skin without washing first. She spoke to the suicidal thoughts too – acknowledging them as symptoms, not truths, learning to redirect the pain into something raw and real: her art. She found a local support group for mums with mental health struggles. Slowly, the chains loosened. Crystal learned: the thoughts were noise, not truth. She painted again – bold strokes, messy and beautiful – depicting the darkness and the fight to break free, with Ava as her little muse. She touched her baby’s soft skin without hesitation, laughed without counting, and slept knowing she was enough. She called the hotline once, twice – and found words to fight the shadows: “I am hurting, but I am here. I am Ava’s mum. I am strong.” But scars remained, like etchings on her soul. Some days, the OCD whispered back, and the dark thoughts lingered at the edges. Yet Crystal stood firmer, armed with therapy, medication, and self-compassion. She looked at Ava, thriving in her small victories, and knew: “I am not my OCD,” she told herself, voice steady. “I am Crystal, a mum, messy, strong, and free.”

The themes that are playing out right now: Real Event OCD, Moral OCD, POCD, Health OCD, Pet OCD, ROCD, Existential OCD, and that's all I can think of right now. (And these are the themes that are playing RIGHT NOW, not all the ones that I have. That'd be great if that was the case.) Real Event OCD: I'm ruminating over the past actions I've done with my ex as a small teen and I'm mad at him + middle school events, I also am freaking about going to school in the future soon when breaks over because I have to see familiar classmates again and last time I threw up because of it. + Events of hypersexuality during when I was young and curious. Moral OCD/POCD: Social media, freaking about past socials and messages (also relates to Real Event OCD) and ruminating since some accounts are completely out of reach + some I may not know how to terminate ever. + worried about if I accidentally said something messed up and scared of future and digital footprint, Epste*n files news are not making me feel good at all, etc. Health OCD: Everyone is sick and I'm sorta worried for myself and them. + Scared of usual illnesses and stuff. I'm also anemic and that's flaring a bit so that sometimes freaks me out. Pet OCD: Last post explains it more but basically I'm nervous for my dog sometimes, he's adorable but sometimes a demon. Rocd: I have no boyfriend (for reasons, + ocd makes it worse and also I'm demi) but this is more for friendships and that's a lot to explain but basically I have occurring thoughts and wondering whether if it's falling apart or not. I'll most likely explain it more sooner or later. Who knows. Existential OCD: Fear of aging (not because of physical but mostly due to fears of future, what people will see me as, I don't want to let go of childhood ever.) I was dissociating a bit yesterday and now I feel a bit sick. I hope my mood goes up later again, there's a LOT more to say but that's enough for now. --- What am I going to do about all of this stress and bad thoughts? I'll freak out internally but physically I'm going out to buy some cool snacks because it's still break. 😤 I mostly posted this to sort of let it out, and maybe for some who are freaking out major time on many things, me too we're all in this together. <:")

If someone wanted to change the behaviors that trigger you, they would right? Out of consideration and “love” for you? Thoughts??

I’m looking for a Country boy with OCD 😉 Preferably with Sexual/Taboo/Violent themes so we can discuss them and support each other 😁 Hopefully this makes some of you smile and hopefully this makes some of you laugh 😂