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I did not get any replies last time I posted this so I am trying again!

Hi everyone, I’m searching for the right therapy and I think this is the place I need to be. Unfortunately I tried to commit suicide a week ago due to my brain never turning off and I’m also sick of feeling this way 50% of the time. Hopefully I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Good luck to everyone ♥️

If anyone would like some peer advice I would be happy! I went from bed ridden with ocd about 2 years ago to now down to maybe a couple intrusive thoughts and relatively no compulsions in a day.

Please read This is an extract from my diary. I was just writing my thoughts to myself. I covered any personal information. Could anybody please just tell me what to do and if they’ve been through this themselves? How did you deal with it? I am not diagnosed with anything yet.

I need some help sorting things out. I'm incredibly sorry if this doesn't follow guidelines, I rarely use any form of social media. I just downloaded this app today because I'm worried that I might have OCD. My biggest concern is harm OCD. I don't know why this happens to me, but I can easily get mad over little things and start obsessing over how I want to hurt somebody. I will spend a long time thinking of a person who pushed me in the hall, creating a scenario in which I might hit them in the face with my bag or choke them out from behind. It scares me. I get so enraged that I rarely see fault in my thoughts until after. I don't like getting angry so quick, and I hate these thoughts. It feels like there's a voice telling me to do this stuff sometimes and I don't want to. Sometimes I'll think about throwing something during an argument and I try to not let it happen, but it won't leave my head until I do it. I've never been in trouble with the law, and I've only more recently began to lose my self control to these thoughts or strange voice. I control myself as much as I can in public, but bottling it all up makes things worse at home. Please, I'm kind of desperate here. I'm scared to talk to my normal counselor about it, though I know it's the best option. I know I will eventually, but I need to now. Please give me advice on how to at least get the courage to bring this up, and please inform me if this isn't OCD related. If it isn't, I deeply apologize.

Can you please please please accept Medicaid soon. I feel I have no where else to go. I need help asap. I feel like I’m running out of options but I do my best to take care of myself day by day. But I’m so sick of my ocd and I really need to work with someone who understands and can help. I’ve been working so hard for so many years and still struggle….. please make this more available it’s so needed. The lack of accessibility to adequate services is really frustrating

Through mindfulness and meditation I have found a way to combat intrusive thoughts and have succession a good amount of time. Now, I feel my thoughts have transition into feelings which feels much worse than the actual thought. It’s by far the worst I’ve felt and only pushes my worries and concerns further. Why is this such a difficult battle? Ughh

Hi!! Hope everyone is having a good day. Just a quick question. Anyone that has taken lexapro, did you have an increase in anxiety/jitteriness/discomfort when you’ve increased your dose. I started VERY slowly on the medication almost 5 weeks ago. 1.25 for 1 week 2.5 for 1 week 3.75 for 1 week 5mg for 6 days 6.25 (just started today) I had pretty positive results within in the first week or so with lessened and more manageable anxiety. By week 3 I was doing pretty well and began doing some “normal” things I’d been avoiding. Last Monday I increased to 5, had some anxiety that night then was ok for a few days but then some anxiety on Friday and Saturday morning. Saturday Dr told me I could increase medication on Sunday. (I was planning on doing 5 for 2 weeks before increasing). I did increase but I’m still having bouts of anxiety/jitters/discomfort/tightness in chest. Has anyone else experienced the same? Dr said this is normal when increasing and shouldn’t last long. I don’t want to ruminate or Google. And not looking for reassurance. I just wondered if anyone had a similar experience. Thank you

Okay, so I’ve always been reluctant to try meds, but I finally did and tried 50mg of fluvoxamine for 4 days. It made me 100x worse in a matter of 2 days. I was told to give it a month but I couldn’t. I literally was paralyzed with fear and I didn’t sleep those 4 days I took them. I also got this weird side effect where I see like a floater in the corner of my eye and it doesn’t go away. It started right after I stopped taking fluvoxamine cold turkey. Now, I was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft. I’m terrified to take it. But I feel like I need to start taking meds because my ocd is becoming so unbearable and I need some peace. Tell me your experiences. Did you feel like SSRIs really were a life saver? This might sound like I’m asking for reassurance, but I genuinely want to read some peoples experiences before I give it another go.

I always have had ocd like symptoms my whole life, but in 2020 early in the year I tried edibles and had a horrific traumatic experience where I genuinely thought I was dying. Soon after this experience I had major anxiety, derealization, depression, and then OCD. The day my brain broke was soon after this experience with cannabis, which many people describe as when people first developed severe OCD and anxiety, like life was not the same anymore. Has anyone experienced something similar to this ? I really wonder if this is what has caused my mental health to spiral in ways I never thought imaginable. I know cannabis can cause things such as schizophrenia and psychosis if a person is prone to these disorders.

Ok so my OCD was eating me up to the point where I didn’t even enjoy doing stuff or going out. I struggle with religious OCD and fear of unforgivable sin and I pray a lot during the day for forgiveness. I have thoughts that disrespect god which I obviously don’t mean. But after lots of prayer and helpful videos and I guess understanding I feel so much better now. Like I still have the thoughts which are there and I hate them but they don’t eat me as much anymore. But I’m worried this is a bad thing too and kinda means I’m losing god ? Which I hope is not the case but anyone else relate ?

I feel as tho this is what I want and thoughts dont really disgust me. Anyone relate and some coping strategies?

It’s been a while since I’ve been here but now I’m back and more stressed than ever. I’ve gotten to the point for I am severely numb and I have no idea what my identity is. Humans have basic needs in life, and when you lose one of those like identity, love, etc. life just doesn’t seem worth while. I feel like im stuck being a lone wolf for the rest of my life, fighting in a war that’s all in my head, and I have no rescue or reinforcements to help. I can’t talk to friends, family, and not even my therapist. Even though I should talk to them, I know damn well they will not understand. All they can do is give me the illusion that they know how I feel. I wish I could just live my life, but I can’t because I have no clue what I am. I’ve tried to remind myself of who I am, but intrusive thoughts after another, I just can’t. I just recently called the NSP Hotline, but I can’t talk to a person that seems like they just wanna hurry up the call so they can go home. So now I’m here thinking about what the actual fuck I should do? I don’t have ppl that really know the struggle and give me genuine helpful advice. Therapy can help but it’s just me talking about my day rather than the actual problem at hand

I have this intrusive thought and extreme questioning that I'm changing and that I am no longer suited for my bf and then I just saw a tiktok that said smtg like "Do you just ever start hating your favorite person bc you both grew into different direction" and i'm so triggered and I'm about to have a panic attack rn

I’ve been called those things my whole fucking life and at first they didn’t rlly get to me. I’m like 4’11 which is obviously very petite but there are actual adults that are smaller than me but for some reason I’m always the one getting picked on, even at 19. By “friends” (not the ones I have now), family members, so many people. And it drove me to obsessively measure myself, find videos on how to grow taller, constantly monitor my posture, and wear shoes that add height. I’ve noticed that other girls that are only 2-3 inches taller never have the same issues. Yeah maybe here and there, but not to the extent of what I have to go through. They’re also the prettier ones, more successful, more likable, so on. I’m just so tired of feeling this way, especially when I was getting so close to accepting it anyway.

I’ve found myself in a sort of hellish situation lately, and I wonder if others have similar experiences with it since it seems pretty plausible. Basically I’ll have an OCD episode, get super anxious, end up disassociating because I’m so anxious, and then feel even WORSE because when I disassociate it feels like I’m not in control of my body- and I worry I’ll lose control of myself and my morals in that state. Anyone have tips? Or even stories of a similar experience?

I keep oscillating between telling myself that a faint memory could’ve been true since it popped into my head in a moment of distress and it was the first immediate memory I had so therefore it must’ve happened, and that I’m just in denial and trying to make it OCD so I can live with the fact that it “might not have happened”. I’m so scared that it did happen and that I’m relying on the fact that I didn’t remember the specifics so that I can have the possibility of it not happening. It’s not something I condone today nor does it reflect who I am nor does it seem like something I would do, but if so, why did it feel so familiar ? I have evidence that my memory is really distorted at times and it combines things and I was in a state of such panic that I might’ve just compiled memories together that is the worse scenario (since it’s something I’m so afraid of happening). But then I keep getting scared that I’m just in denial because I feel a faint familiarity to certain things. I’m honestly so panicked and sad and heartbroken. I keep fearing I did something wrong and faint memories would pop into my head and I would question when it happened and try to remember everything and it would anger me that I couldn’t remember everything. And it feels so wrong for me to just live with the fact that something could’ve happened even though it’s not reflective of who I am today. It feels immoral to not confess. I just want words of comfort and understanding and I just need to know I have hope for the future and I can be happy. Please help.

I suffer with religious OCD scrupulosity so my thoughts insult God literally everyday do your insults become apart of how you actually talk like apart of your everyday vocabulary like usually you would say something completely different but your ocd drilled it in your brain so much that's its become apart how you talk and view others

My obsessive thoughts have been relentless lately and all centered around the belief that my mind is slipping cognitively as a result of the constant stress OCD and anxiety subject my brain too. Iv read a lot about how years of chronic stress can make you a higher risk for early onset dementia and i can’t stop worrying that I’m headed in that direction. How can I break this awful thought cycle. I’m exhausted by all the worrying. Thanks

I feel guilty every time I'm happy. I have cheating OCD, I read articles about having an emotional affair.. it said when you have an emotional affair you share details of your relationship to your friend. In fact, you love sharing your trouble and you love it when your friend listens to you so well. I have this guy friend who knows about my struggles with OCD and my relationship whenever I felt like it was falling apart. I would rant to him, he said I should prepare for a break up because my boyfriend wasn't making effort and I'm not his fav person if he doesn't text me that much cuz no one is too busy to text back. I was like yeah I agreed because I literally felt it was a one sided relationship and I couldn't open up to my boyfriend about this because of my past relationship it causes me anxiety, like I'm afraid if I complain about something to my boyfriend he'll get upset and tired of me.. so I had no choice but rant to my friend for the sake of advice. I did like few things about my guy friend but i see him as my brother. And idk what to do. Life is getting too tough and overwhelming and now I'm convinced that I cheated. Whenever I panicked because of something I would think of texting my bf but then I remembered he wouldnt text back.. and that frustrated me, and now I'm about to tell my boyfriend about all of this.. I'm guilty and I feel like I don't deserve happiness at all.