Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Please share your ROCD stories:

I give up. Every day is more difficult than the last. I’m getting more and more compulsions that make no sense and seem to be coming out of nowhere. My brain is so full and I am so tired. I feel like everything is getting worse and my mum is so far from being understanding, she makes me feel so pathetic and stupid and acts as if I’m choosing to feel this way. I don’t know how to carry on. I just give up ?. I hope you’re all doing well, sorry for being so negative.

I also wanted to ask if anyone here has intrusive suicidal thoughts, that are just repetitive and the thought that I’m going to go crazy and hurt myself. I feel like I’m just afraid of my own self because I want continuous reassurance from others that I wouldn’t do such a thing and that I’m normal.

Just went to a therapist for the first time and summoned the nerve to talk about what I feel is hocd- I left so upset after what she said, and so invalidated. I'm okay but feel like she just assumed things that didn't feel true to me and made me question everything. I'm so discouraged rn

I really need some advice. Before my mind was completely taken over by OCD I was a straight-A student. I absolutely thrived learning environments. I’m in Australia, currently completing my final year of high school. Before I got so sick, I intended on studying undergraduate medicine. Sadly, with literally 2 months until graduation, I can’t continue my intense study regime. My teachers think I should drop to a non-ATAR (basically can’t get into university directly) pathway. I’m seriously considering it because there is no chance I’ll able to sit through these last few months. But I’m just beating myself up for being a failure. I hate myself for having to do this. Has anyone experienced something similar? Is there a way I can still succeed even if OCD took my high school years away from me? Sorry, this is so long! d a i s y

my ocd is controlling my life. I can’t stop washing my hands and I always think they have to be clean before I go anywhere or else my whole day will be ruined. I hate the thought of being unclean and I don’t want to spread germs. I wash my hands even when I don’t have to. Anyone have any advice please?

Just went to college today and it was horrible. I kept getting thoughts about killing people. It hurts so much. I’m home crying idk why. I’m sobbing. I’m jealous I can’t be like the other people enjoying they’re college lives. I wanna be happy again. I wanna die so badly but I don’t wanna leave my mom and dad or anyone I’m scared I’m a serial killer. I can’t even enjoy college. I feel like I enjoy these thoughts. I read about other people saying how they still recover yet from Harm ocd and it’s giving me even more anxiety. I wanna go to a concert of my favorite singer and I’m crazy to go there. But I can’t because I’m a murderer. And I deserve to be in jail. Idk what to do please help me. I don’t wanna leave my mom. I can’t breathe and I can’t manage to fail my classes either. It’s so hard.

nOCD moderator here! An update on our flagging policies: sharing scary, difficult, upsetting OCD thoughts is just fine. We WILL flag any post that suggests a user is considering harming themselves. Why do we do this? So we can send that person information on getting the help they might need. We want to keep our community safe. Let us know if you have any questions!

i have intrusive thoughts and they make me want to die

Is anyone else here female and suffer from Pedophilia OCD? It has been absolutely debilitating for me the past year. No matter what I tell myself, I can never rid myself of these thoughts. I don’t even like children, yet I have these horrific thoughts that plague my mind day in and day out. I was doing well for awhile until I had a dream last night and it triggered everything again for me. I just want it to stop. I know I’m not my thoughts, but it’s been too much for me to handle.

I’m having a terrible night. I’ve been in a panicked state for a couple of hours. I’ve been prescribed a medication for when I’m extremely anxious, but I’m reluctant to use it because I’m worried I’m going to become addicted or something ? (even though my doctor assured me I can’t become addicted!) Can anyone offer some advice/experiences? Thank you! d a i s y

Any other people looking to pursue a career in medicine? I’m desperate to be a doctor, but I’m awfully worried my illness will hinder my opportunities! d a i s y

Have any of you experienced positive results with SSRI Medication? Are they worth it?

My thought process currently: my dog pooped on the floor. Husband cleaned it up with toilet paper. However he did not use a disinfectant or even a wet wipe. Dog walked in the same area the poop was not cleaned appropriately. Dog jumped in my lap, I figured since I was about to shower it would be okay and I let her lay all over me and I pet her. Then I held my phone. After I took a shower, I picked up my phone without first disinfecting it, now my hands feel horribly dirty. I’m scared I will spread germs that the dog may have spread to me and I spread to my phone. However my husband is telling me it will be alright, be strong and don’t wash my hands or disinfect my phone and watch as nothing bad happens. Is this a legit reason to clean my phone and hands or is this just the OCD talking??

Sorry my post got deleted! But once again so sorry to whomever flagged my comment... I suffer from Harm OCD and I was very open about my thoughts and how I was feeling. Harm OCD has been the worst OCD for me and I have super violent thoughts which feel so real and leaves me confused at times. I swear I’m not a bad person and I meant no one any harm! Thank you to those ( esp @Pineapple and @WorriedDriver) for always responding to my posts and helping with tips, I love you guys. Once again I’m sorry what I did, never got flagged before so now I feel evil. ? I will be more careful.

Going through a really stressful time right now. I am looking for a job, dealing with financial stress, I was in a minor car accident a week ago (no one was hurt), and I really haven’t been doing great emotionally or mentally since my grandpa passed away the end of last year. Does anyone have any tips for managing stress when you are dealing with a lot of life changes? I feel like it is sending my OCD into hyper drive, I fixate on every little thing, think about all the what ifs, and worry about every perceived mistake I make and how it is going to affect my situation. I feel like this is caused by all the stress and pressure that is on me right now. If anyone has any tips or forms of stress relief they find particularly effective that would be amazing.

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts lately and after a lot of research, I’ve learned to just let them happen. But now, I’m scared that since I’m not having anxiety or crying over it, it must mean that I like the thoughts or that I don’t find them bad. I know that this in itself is OCD. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I have been speaking to a specialist over email to set up an appointment. I don’t feel like myself anymore, my brain is so full of questions and thoughts that I can’t even figure out what they are. It feels so foggy and I feel so lost. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I’m all alone in this and I’m just so confused.

I’m really starting to see that I may never get better, but that’s ok. I accept it. I’m starting to be able to accept that my symptoms are anxiety related and I don’t have to take them seriously. It’s a relief because I was always trying to get rid of the symptoms, now I’m accepting them.

My HOCD gets so bad in the mornings with thoughts. Last night I kept trying to tell my boyfriend about a problem too and my mind kept saying “tell him your bi or gay!” And it gave me so much anxiety and it was kinda like an urge. I want my attraction back. I don’t trust anything my mind is telling me anymore.

Sorry, I have a few of questions: Has anyone needed inpatient treatment? My psychiatrist told me this morning that she’s considering admitting me. I’m a little scared. Has anyone got any experiences they’d be willing to share? Also I’m taking Fluoxetine augmented with an antipsychotic (I’m not experiencing psychosis, however). Has anyone been told to try this? Thank you so much in advance for all your help and kindness! :) d a i s y