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After the controversial and horrible person twomad passed away at 23, and people celebrating it, my ocd has been making me think about my entire life, including some bad stuff I did as a child... as a 22 year old (about to be the same age as him in July) currently, whose been trying to be good and kind to everybody for the last few years, I feel anxious and horrible about this situation and what my ocd says about me... it keep's telling me "you did bad things as a child, so your just as evil as twomad", and I genuinely feel just horrible and uncomfortable by these intrusive thoughts...

My mind is constantly telling me that im lying to myself just to hide the truth but how can i know if thats the case like and the false attraction is really messing me up .When i try to pursue a girl i find pretty my brain tells me ur only doing it because you’re hiding the truth and some bs like that.

This might be triggering for some cause it can be misunderstood. I read that for some harm can be a compulsion, so it means that they actually act on the thoughts as a compulsion, and this got me scared cause i used to have urges. I know urges is tipical ocd symptom, yet i still question my thoughts. I have to accept that some will just say "go to a hospital" or "call 911", i'll just say that i ignore you... My thoughts used to be so agressive like it told me to do it, i didnt had just what if thoughts, my ocd told me to act on the thoughts, and this is where i question is this normal? Cause on the internet when you hear about people having thoughts about doing something, and those thoughts becomes commands, usually the person is ill or something is wrong with him and he needs serious help, and i always compare myself to those cause my ocd gave me commands. So this is the first thing that i wanted to talk about, im so afraid of harm becoming a compulsion. Second thing i want to talk about is kinda the same, i read this too on reddit and i could relate to this. The person wrote that his compulsions becomes really scary, he gets thoughts about harming his dog and as a compulsion to check that he will not do,he puts his hands over his dog neck but he feels so bad after. And this reminded me that i had the same mindset, when ocd told me to cut myself, i intentionally went to grab a knife and i even putted in to my skin to prove that i will not do anything and to lose the fear. But eventually ocd latched to this and then it told me to actually cut myself and because i used this method then it was i holding myself back to not act on it cause ocd said cut yourself cause then you will not be afraid of it. Its really disturbing and sick... im so afraid that these are signs that i would actually act on these as a compulsion, to not be afraid of it which is stupid, but im so afraid of this, is hard to ignore... I keep having in my mind that i actually couldve harmed myself i just had luck but im actually in danger of making it a compulsion and act on the thought. Did you had thoughts like this agressive?

Anyone know a good meditation for OCD

I went to the toilet but I'm afraid to put my hand or foot into the toilet bowl. To be sure, I felt my feet on the ground and put my hands on my body. At that moment a thought came: what if you put your “head” in? I haven't attempted any washing for 3 hours. But I'm so stressed and I feel dirty! Do you ever feel like this? Please help🙏🏻

so i have a specific fear. i read a verse in the bible. i say to myself “this verse must mean this” (affirming my fear). is it possible that i’m just willing my fear into existence/ giving a meaning to a verse that is actually unrelated to the real meaning whatsoever? i can’t tell. this might be a stupid question, but ocd really does cloud your reality.

I feel like throughout my life my ocd has taken on different forms and I feel like every time I have issues it’s actually my ocd just getting bad again. Like someone reveals the scooby doo villain and surprise it’s just friggin ocd again . My main “flavor” that I have struggled with ever since the end of 2019 has been severe health ocd . So badly that I have had countless dr visits , hospital visits ranging from panic attacks to lingering anxiety that builds up after weeks of obsessing and loosing sleep . Is there anyone here with some tips to get through this kinda of thing? I’m in therapy and that has helped a lot but I still feel like I pops up and wrecks my life every 4 months or so

I feel extremely guilty. I had a dream in which I was knowingly thinking suggestive, obscene things about my partner. I told myself in my dream, "I shouldn't think about such things," but I kept thinking and woke up. The worst part was that I was enjoying it and i felt semi-sober. What if I thought these thoughts on purpose, aware? I feel like I have greatly disrespected my partner. I feel like an incredibly dirty, extremely perverted person. I think it's best not to love my partner. I harm him even with my thoughts. I feel very disgusted from myself. And I feel like I've broken my oath to God, "I will not knowingly think obscene things." But I felt like i was half aware and i was controlling these thoughts. That happened me once and its happening again. I feel so dirty and guilty because i seemd like i was enjoying these thoughts. What if I had always enjoyed these thoughts? I used to say I was a disgusting person. I wouldn't hesitate to think dirty things about my partner. I feel so so guilty and disgusting. I don't deserve to love my partner. I feel horrible. Let me put a note here: As someone else said before, I'm not hostile towards myself. I just don't like obscene things. I know that I cannot 100% erase the sexual feeling from myself. But when I have a dirty thought about my partner, I feel like I'm just using him for sex and I'm afraid my love will turn into pleasure and lust. Etc. So it can be normal for you but for me, i don't like these things. So please don't force me to accept your opinion.

Hey NOCD friends. I could really use your help. I just started a transition from Sertraline to Fluvoxamine. I think I have taken 4 or 5 doses of Fluvoxamine so far. My concern right now is that it is making ms really tired. Have you had this experience? How long does it last? How long should I wait to see if this side effect goes away? It's quite an oppressive, terrible feeling g of sedation at times. Thanks.

I feel really scared doing my erp exercises because I am afraid I am offending God, can I please have some advice and help.

Are intrusive thoughts hidden desires of our uncounscious mind? I think I know the answer to this. Learning abt Freud at school messed me up a little

I’m stressing hard over one of my reoccurring ”false memories” (I hate calling it that because I don’t know if it’s false. The memory is so disturbing it always comes back to haunt me. For context, I used to be interested in watching really extreme horror movies. Like the ones on the Disturbing Movie Iceberg (not the bottom tier for obvious reasons). I have a horrible “memory” of possibly touching myself to a horrific scene in one of these movies (I’m unsure of which exact movie, 2 different ones come to mind). If this is real, I’m literally a monster. Even though the things depicted in these movies aren’t real, they are some of the absolute worst things I could have done that to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I’m supposed to hang out with friends tonight, but I feel like I need to hide myself away from them just in case this is real. Because nobody would want to be around somebody like that. I know watching those things in the first place is bad, but I can handle that. I can’t handle the possibility of me doing worse. Any advice on coping with something like this?

So, I have this question to you guys… I never felt that way before hocd, it’s a trigger for me when someone talk about girls (ex: how they wanna go out with them, how to get more girls and all) and it triggers me, makes me feel uncomfortable, like my mind says I don’t like them but I love girls ever since ! I don’t have attraction to men only the false attraction that happens, does anyone feel the same way ? Let’s talk a little

Hi team here is my two cents on OCD. I never post on this kinda stuff and on sites but I think it’s right to here. I’m in my 20s and 6 months ago woke up and had OCD and didn’t know a thing about it before. I regard myself as lucky that I found out what was going on so quickly. I know what it is like to both have and not have OCD having not had it for pretty much all my life. I have very good days and weeks of managing OCD to the point where it doesn’t exist but I’m writing this at a point where it’s been a bad OCD day. And that is ok. There will be bad days of it and I can live with that. What I don’t do is tell myself that tomorrow will be better because it might not be. If you tell yourself tomorrow will be better, it will be worse because that is a reassurance compulsion and you’re trying to find certainty that you do not need. I see a lot on here about “anyone else going through this?” And people answer back saying “you’re a beautiful person and your thoughts aren’t true don’t worry I’ve been through this”. That’s AMAZING that there is a big community who support each other and I LOVE it, but that won’t help you in fact, that only makes things worse for you. I could sit here and type about how none of your thoughts are true and that might help for 5 minutes until you just start doubting again. The thing that has helped me the most is accepting the fact that, whatever your theme is, it COULD happen. Nobody knows what the future holds and you have to accept the fact that anything is possible. You COULD get sick from that bannister on the subway, you MIGHT be a bad person, it’s POSSIBLE that you did do or will do that horrible thing you’ve been thinking about. Anything is possible. What keeps you trapped is trying to keep thoughts out of your mind or telling yourself that things won’t happen because, at the end of the day, anything is possible. Here is a list of some responses I use to thoughts that by the way, would make someone who didn’t have OCD and understand think I was a complete nutter so it really doesn’t matter what the thought is I promise you: “Well that could happen I guess” “We shouldn’t rule that out” “Big whoop cheers for that thought” “Nice one” “Is that the best you can do? Pretty weak effort tbh” By committing to using these responses you train your brain that whatever you’re thinking about is not actually a threat. OCD will say anything to stick around. It will tell endless lies to try and keep you trapped. It will change theme. False thoughts, feelings, emotions there are no gloves when it comes to OCD. It will do anything to try and stay. Whatever comes into your head does not matter. Whatever subtype, OCD IS OCD and theme is irrelevant. I write this all in the context that what I’m thinking about, MIGHT be true and this could all be a cover up for the bad person within. But that is the only way to beat it. To accept that anything is possible. Funnily enough, the more you don’t react to thoughts and use the responses above, the more the brain doesn’t wanna bring it up as often, and eventually, at all. Thoughts do not matter it’s your reaction (compulsion) that is what is keeping you trapped and what is giving thoughts meaning. I know it can feel impossible sometimes (“but I can’t live with the fact that this might be true, I need to know it’s not!!!”). You absolutely can live with the fact that anything is possible. This treatment does work. You are not the exception, you are the rule. Again I’ve written this whole thing accepting the fact that my thoughts could come true and might happen. And I can absolutely live with that fact. Even on a bad OCD day and there will be those, always remember to use a “big whoop…” attitude to what comes into your head. The more you don’t care, the better you will feel.

Hey guys, my obsessions revolves around taboo themes which include sexual intrusive thoughts about family members. One of my biggest triggers is caused by photos of family I have around my home. I feel that as soon as I see a family photo my mind tends to sexualize it. I still keep the photos up since I know hiding them will only make the ocd worse. I also try to sit with the anxiety/discomfort/uncertainty caused by the photos and not ruminate on it, not try to “figure it out”. How can I overcome this trigger? I feel like my mind is so conditioned to think of sexual content as soon as I see a family photo which can be a bit discouraging. I’m hoping that with time, and not responding to my trigger, my mind will slowly start to not sexualize these photos. Can someone please provide any advice?

I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... someone told me she sounded like a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

When I talk with mother she always says things make me angry ans I get anger attacks and I’ve told her many times to not do that but she doesn’t stop, so I limited my contact with her even though we are at the same house because I can’t handle her anymore it’s maki my mental health and OCD worse. Today she told “why don’t you sit with me and talk with anymore? If you kept behaving that way I won’t pay attention to what I eat and I’ll get diabetes, screw it” Because the Doctor told her she’s so close to get diabetes and she knows I’m so scared about her health and safety so she suddenly used this against me

I feel like nobody will understand but here goes anyway. I wish I could talk to someone going through something similar but I don't know if that will happen. You might have seen what's going on in Palestine. It's awful. And I've listened to what people say about not being silent about it, and I haven't been. I've posted about it non stop on my social media, begging people to speak up too because we need to spread awareness. I've signed petitions and donated and spread awareness but I'm worried that deep down I don't want to. I feel like when posting on social media I only do it to get it out of the way so I'm able to do things I enjoy again. How sick am I? I do genuinely care, I do genuinely want to help because just talking about it makes people more aware. But I feel like a monster like I'm only posting about it to get it out of the way for the day. I do genuinely want people to see my social media and realise what's going on and help, but I'm worried that I'm not doing this for good reasons and that I'm a monster. I don't know what I'm looking for here, I'm sorry if it's reassurance or something but I feel like a complete monster and I don't know what I'm meant to do. I don't even think this is OCD related. I'm just so sorry because I do genuinely care. I wish I could click my fingers and it all be over.

This ocd break down really messed up this time I’m just full of guilt and shame I want to keep going but I never will have 100 percent of the scenarios I imagined never happened

I have some scenarios that where full of anxiety and intrusive thoughts that scared me felt like I did something wrong but that I asked around my family members they said I didn’t anything wrong but I just feel so guilty and horrible.