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All my days are pretty much consumed by real events I obsess with. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to lose my life, but I’m also tired of living like this.

Hi guys also another question I’ve been doing ERP for awhile now. And I’m just getting into exposures and when I’m doing them with my therapist like writing out the things that scare me and saying them out loud it doesn’t seem to scare me. It’s more so when I’m alone having these constant thoughts daily is what becomes overwhelming and makes them feel real. Any insight on this?

Hello anyone reading, I just wanted to vent here because at this point i’m not sure what to do or if i’ll ever be normal and my OCD is causing my mental health to go down the drain badly. It’s so debilitating I can’t do anything daily other than focus on it. I can’t feel comfortable anywhere, not even in my own home. I deal with the type of OCD where i’m convinced things are contaminated with chemicals or feces or any number of things. TMI: For example when I used the bathroom the other day in a public one and it went off on its own so now i’m convinced I had feces all over me so I had to shower and wash my clothes. Now i can’t even sit in my car cause the seat supposedly is covered now too from the drive home. I can’t touch anything on my floor or anywhere for that matter without washing my hands like my phone charger or my feet/shoes/ankles, door knobs, handles, anything cause i don’t even know why anymore. I’m terrified of cleaning products being on me or touching them, people spraying anything. I can’t have my windows down in the car anymore because i’m terrified of someone’s window washer fluid getting all over me. I watched a video about a guy accidentally drinking paint thinner cause he kept it in a water bottle and had to convince myself that my water wasn’t paint thinner and etc These are just some of the examples I have and I don’t know how to get over it or handle it anymore and I feel like I’m literally going crazy. Any suggestions or advice would mean a lot. please

My OCD makes me doubt my faith & God! It also makes me doubt myself, my values and literally everything! Makes me even doubt if this is OCD! I love God & Jesus! I know I gave my life to Him! Being reborn! I’ve seen the changes! It hurts to have these thoughts & feelings of doubt! I’ve been having this for 6 months. It started as a thought of “is God real” now it’s like my mind has interrogated me over and over again making me question everything! Yelling accusations at me! Telling me I don’t “believe enough” or “maybe I don’t believe” or “I don’t love Him” and just stuff like that and I hate it! I want faith & belief and I refuse to give up! I try to remind myself this isn’t a Faith problem but an OCD problem but my OCD tries to make me doubt that! Anyone gone through this? Any advice?

Got hit on back of my head from someone elbow by accident kinda hard but there was no pain or anything I am shy and nervous so I just said why you do that and left. As I was walking I head my heart beating in my head. Now I fear I have brain damage or something bad I still remember everything my passwords my name so I didn't lose my memory. Now I'm going feel different all day and worry in my head because of it

I hate that I get over one thing then my brain moves into the next thing to be upset about and I feel like this one is the worst thing to be obsessing over. Eugh. I feel evil and gross and I feel like ppl will think I’m a threat and I don’t want ppl to think of me that way. I’d never hurt anyone or want to ever But I’m trying to get through the day and survive. AS HORRIBLLY CHEESY AS THAT SOUNDS ITS TRUE I JUST WANNA BE OK😭 does anyone know how to move on from these feelings especially when it’s stuff from the past. I want to move on from and live now but I’m so scared to move because what if ppl find out? And they’ll think I don’t care because I’m not actively feeling ugly about it like I do now and literally all the time. I feel so horrible for even saying that too much guilt. Anyone have help ideas? Advice? Words? Idk I feel dizzy af with my emotions rn sorry if this didn’t make sense.

I've been reading through the posts on this app all morning to see if someone can relate to the way I'm feeling. I'm constantly bombarded by thoughts about me or other people being hurt by my cause. It terrifies me to the core and I end up going down in tears at the very thought of it. It's so hard to open up to others about it because I'm worried I'm just insane, and not someone worth saving. It's gotten to the point where I'm very depressed, I refuse to leave my room in the morning to get ready for school, and I don't feel emotion anymore. Another issue I've been having is secluding myself because I'm afraid of harming people. But it's all my mind goes on about, and I can't make it stop. I'm crying whilst posting this, and I just want to feel normal again.

So I posted a little while ago about my testing of being trans (MTF) and going by she/they in my closer circles. Now this is all well and good but I’m continually questioning whether my experience is real. I stoped wearing masculine underwear because it doesn’t feel right but I don’t know if that’s a compulsion or if I genuinely don’t feel at home being a man anymore (I’ve told my friends that he/him is no longer he/home). I’ve been going by any pronouns for a few months and like when someone calls me a guy I feel weird but also being called by she/they is still weird and so it’s also uncomfortable, especially because I’m so incredibly masc passing (I’m a bigger hairy individual). According to people around me when I talk about being trans I get nervous and excited In a good way? But also especially with how society is nowadays (USA) being trans is also terrifying. The other thing is like I lean toward playing masculine characters in like dnd and games. Idk it’s definitely scary and strange and I’m just trying to figure it all out. I feel like when I’m around my gf I’m a lot more comfortable being her girlfriend (which my ROCD also has gone a little hog wild recently because I continually interpret me being content in the relationship as me not caring and the minute that happens I think of my last relationship and how the end of it was everything I did being obligation not because I wanted to and I fear getting to that point) Outside of that context I’m like “I’m your boyfriend yup that’s it not a girl she/they feels weird” and like I’m still very comfortable in masculine spaces and (this could be internalized transphobia from my parents as well as some OCD) that if I’m in a feminine space I’m just gonna get horny or something and make everyone else in there and myself uncomfortable and then feel guilty for “faking” this and feeling any of that, because a part of me has had some SOOCD and like scared I’m not into my gf or women in general even though I know I am (I’m Bi) because I don’t get like an instant erection being around her anymore, but getting a boner in my underwear around a bunch of cis women just sounds embarrassing. A good move is probably to go see a gender therapist and figure this all out. Sorry this was just a run on rambling mess but yeah that’s my thoughts. Any other trans folks in here wanna help out and share their experiences?

The other day I disclosed to an acquaintance that I have OCD as part of a larger conversation. She interrupted me to say “I mean, don’t you think we’re all a little OCD?” I said no, that’s it’s a clinical disorder that requires the person to meet specific criteria to be diagnosed. I’m wondering how you all respond to moments like this? I am trying hard not to read into it and take it personally and instead see it as an opportunity to provide psycho education, and I’d love ideas of what to say!

I’ve been obsessing over the same thought for so long it seems so real and I’m questioning my sanity and I think it might be real. I’ve been thinking I might have aphasia but I can read and respond to people but sometimes I can’t understand people and it’s really confusing. Every time I try to let it go my stomach tightens but I’ve been getting these headaches for a long time and I’m scared it might be something serious. Can someone help?

Has you OCD ever used the word obsession against you? I'm assuming that along with our regular OCD thoughts that we accept the thought but not the content of the thoughts.

I have never been good about keeping a house organized and neat. I would throw things in drawers or whatever place and make it look decent enough. When I just lived by myself it was always thrown in one room. One room would look like a tornado hit it and the rest maybe decent. I couldn’t even keep it that way. I have my limits when it gets bad enough where and I go through this cleaning frenzy like my mom did when I was a kid. She would take an entire weekend up regularly turning the house upside down to clean it but by the time she was done you could eat off the floors. Everyone else in my immediate family are neat. My mother cleans things with toothbrushes. I have yet to see anyone to this day have as neat and organized house as my mom. She’s well known to be called OCD from those with a misconception about it but she feels driven and can’t stop with it. So, I think she probably is but anyway back to me. I am a mess a literally mess in my house. My mind would want to do tasks in certain orders. Like my mind would say I can’t start this until this other thing gets done and before you know it I am getting little done. So, she said I encourage you to just try doing something out of order. Ok, I did and now I have an absolutely overwhelming mess in my house. My brain can’t get passed thinking about it all the time and I can’t seem to get control of it! I am ADHD and OCD and I don’t know what’s driving what here or if it matters but I am terrified someone will come over yet I still can’t get this under control. Can anyone just not for whatever reason get their house straight to where they can enjoy other things in life?

Does anyone else catastrophize any little flaw that they don’t quite like about their partner?? There are things that my partner does from time to time that are weird and sometimes a turn off, and when I notice those quirky things he does I start to spiral because if those things bug me or turn me off slightly then maybe I don’t like him and I need to leave. I couldn’t even begin to try and explain the goofy behaviour because it’s so mundane and unimportant. It’s literally just Him being himself, and being quirky and different, and he’s a little more nerdy and awkward. And it hurts me so much because he is so amazing, but I catastrophize these flaws into automatic major deal breakers because they feel like “icks”. Idk what to do. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not going to find a single person on the face of this earth that will be perfect. There isn’t someone that I will like everything about. Does anyone else relate or am I going crazy?

if you read it this far, I hope you know that all of this will be over, if you keep on fighting, you are one strong fighter, and with God anything is possible, and your not alone. I pray God will give you peace and joy🤍🫶🏼

Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.

my ocd is being the most annoying thing in the world right now. my intrusive thoughts keep telling me to cut myself and its keeping me from falling asleep. i have to be up in 5 hours. i dont want to and im not gonna but i feel like i have to to make the thoughts go away. this is really hard :(

Big oof. We just put in an offer on an older home. Great bones just needs some love. I have such anxiety though bc the electrical is original from when the home was built in 1965. And I'm terrified the house is going to burn down and take all 4 of my dogs life's. We are getting the electric rewired but it'll be abt 2 months or so before that even starts. I can't sleep and I'm having night terrors. The house is too good of an opportunity to pass up! I know it'll probably be fine but the unknown is quite literally keeping me up. *pros The fire department is .5 miles away from the home lol Ugh. I know I should feel so fortunate to be able to even do this but, I'm terrified.

TW: talk of cancer I don’t post on here much, but I’ve been dealing with Health Concern OCD my whole life. I am constantly searching for mystery illnesses that could be causing even the slightest discomforts in my body. My lymph nodes are swollen, I am trying to rationalize my thinking by saying I could just have a cold. However, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am terrified of having some form of cancer/lymphoma that I may not have noticed until now. I am restless and unable to sleep, all I can think about is what is going to happen if I get this checked out by a doctor. I want to know why this is happening in my body, but I’m scared that my worst nightmare might be true and if I was too late to get seen. I’m feeling very defeated, and trapped in my own head. Nobody knows how debilitating my OCD really is because I put on a very good facade of seeming like I’m cool calm and collected. Most of the time, I’m freaking out over the smallest changes or feelings.

So I've realized a couple things about myself. I don't think I was every great at socializing. I don't know what made me act the way I did with socializing at certain times when I was a kid, but I still kind of do it now. I'll blurt out noises or words here and there, but most times I'm pretty decent with talking with people. In the last though, I was bullied. I remember being picked on a bit by someone in the second grade, 6th grade, and definitely in high school. Some teachers I think have left a negative impact on my self esteem as well. Some of them were very unfair and very critical of their judgement. I hated my teen years and hated high school. I often don't recall memories in full of that time which is probably due to my mind doing its best to block out most things that happened. I remembered the students that didn't treat me fairly and I knew that some of them probably thought very low of me. There were times where I stood up for myself but most of the time I kept to myself and didn't really find my footing until my senior year. I found a friend group, and I got better with grades. Just when it was actually getting somewhere, I was no longer a high school student and graduated. There were definitely fun moments in school for sure. A lot of them. But, I latch onto the negative ones more than the positive ones. I honestly don't know why I do this, but I know my self confidence and self esteem are low. It's not because of my parents or my family. It's because of how I handled things in school along with how well I was able to socialize with other people. I made another post talking about socializing and how people can just be so good at it. Always knowing what to say to start a conversation and whatnot. I don't understand how that can be but I would like to learn all of it.

Hi everyone, I felt a strong need to post and say this. I used to struggle with severe and debilitating OCD for about two years of my life. I’ve always tended to have obsessive tendencies, but 2 years ago it got severe and I was drowning. My OCD affected my relationships (family, friendships, boyfriend) etc. I mean i’ve had pretty much every “theme” imaginable. I just want to let you know that there is more hope than you could ever imagine. I no longer have disordered anxiety nor struggle with ocd. I have never taken any medications and have only done therapy once for a few months over a year ago. You have every single tool within you already to beat ocd because it’s so much smaller than you could ever imagine. I know you’re probably waiting to hear how I healed myself so here it is, I left it in God’s hands. Now before you turn your phone off and throw it across the room just hear me out. Take the focus off yourself and Read. Your. Bible. It is that simple. Stop focusing on yourself and hyper-fixating on every single thought or feeling that you get. Let it go. Give it to God. It is not your battle it is His. Healing is so much more simple than we make it out to be. You are not broken, you are perfectly capable of living a regular life, you are always in the center of mental health. January 27th I sat down in my room bawling my eyes out in the middle of a panic attack and said to myself: Psalm 139:14 “For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, no weapons formed against me shall prosper, For I know the plans I have for you, not to harm you but plans to give you hope and a future. For walk by faith not by sight” I sat there crying with my eyes closed and said that to myself about 20 times out loud and I felt a warm glow in my chest. That was the most peace I had felt in over 2 years. I read my bible almost everyday and I am healing quicker every single day. You are strong. There is hope. God loves you so much you are so amazing. Tips: -Buy a bible ($20 on amazon) or rent it for free from a library. -Pray daily (it doesn’t matter when, how, or about what, just talk to God because he’s your best friend) -Listen to Girls Gone Bible (or any podcast about strengthening your faith) -Don’t pay any attention to your thoughts let them pass on like leaves in the fall. -Go checkout @peacefromwithin on instagram ( I’m considering starting my own podcast to share my testimony and give tips on how to manage ocd/anxiety lmk if anyone is interested bc i have so much more to share:) You are SO loved.💌