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How do you deal with the feelings of numbness?

I cannot picture myself in a relationship with a woman, never have. Any daydreams/fantasies I have are men. I've always had a new male crush. But because I enjoy GOG pxrn I worry it means I'm into girls in that way. Even chatting to men my ocd is telling me I'm only doing it because I want to prove I'm not into girls. I don't think of women in a sexual way and don't think I'd ever want to. I just enjoy GOG corn but not because of the act because they seem to enjoy it more than straight where its just 10 min BJs lol. Help me out.

does anyone ever feel weird about explaining their compulsions to people? my mom doesn’t believe i have ocd (haven’t been diagnosed) because she hasn’t “seen” me do compulsions and when i try to explain it to her, i just feel so awkward. another thing is most of my compulsions are more of an in the moment thing than me doing the same thing everyday. while i do have ones that are typically a daily occurrence, mine are reliant on being in the moment and when i need do something a number of times to feel “just right” if that makes sense. anyways, it’s just hard to explain that to people and i almost feel embarrassed to. i know i shouldn’t, but i just feel abnormal in a sense.

Today i feel like crying. I am so upset today. All my thoughts are negative and they just make me upset. I feel like i need a break from life. Everything is so hard. I just can't do it anymore. I was strong for so long but today i feel like giving up. I want to feel free atleast for a day. Everything seems so tough. I am not that strong enough. 😭😭😭

My daughter is done with therapists. I don’t blame her. They shame and laugh. I quit trying to push that as it doesn’t help. Every few months she breaks down crying how bad her OCD and life is. She also turns her hurts on me. I’m broken watching her, not being able to help her. She can’t even work. She was told by disability she has OCD but no financial help was awarded. I guess she is high functioning which is a joke. Her life is shattered. My heart is broken.

My mind keeps going in circles and it’s so much to think about and I don’t know how to stop it and I’m all alone. I don’t have anyone I can go to and it’s hard for me to feel like anyone cares about me. Maybe my head is spiraling right now? It feels like it is 😭😭😭 I just want it to stoppppp it’s putting me in a fog and I’m so scared ):

Does anyone else get really anxious at night and have a bunch of compulsive habits at night to try and feel calm about being safe at night? For me this includes pushing repeatedly on door bolts and locks and also touching random items over and over again, as well as other random motions I do. Even with these things I can’t seem to relax and feel like I have a constant irrational fear about having my home being broken into, especially at night, and a fear of me or someone in my family being hurt. I don’t know what to do because we have an alarm system and I just feel like I am somehow always thinking of the possibilities and subconsciously listening for noises and I just wish I could calm down:(

Im scared of what’s gonna happen when I die like im so uncertain and I get BAD panic attacks about what’s gonna happen to me like I get these thoughts like if my gonna live forever, like is just a forever loop or is just gonna be nothing. Im catholic and I believe in heaven or hell but im really not sure. I’ve struggled with my faith since I’ve been 13 and it’s getting worse, I’ve heard about all these theories about what’s gonna happen after we die and I always get so scared about them. One time my aunt told me that we are souls, spirits that we are energy and just being in our body having an experience but our souls are immortal so im scared about the thought of living forever that scares me so much because at the same time I want to have peace. There’s other things that really really give me panic attacks about that subject but I can’t list them all here if you want to help me out then I’ll tell you more.

Hey guys so I just got broken up with in the last week. I’ve always had really bad ocd and self harm thoughts. When my bf and I moved into together I was so happy and he understood how to help me with my ocd. I didn’t have bad thoughts for the full 8 months we were together! And then we broke up bc I found out a lot of things he was lying about. I’m living back home again, single and all of my bad thoughts and urges are back again, I don’t know how to make it stop. Living with him is the FIRST time I’ve had these thoughts go away. Now everything is bad once again. If anyone has any advice that could help I’d appreciate it.

Hey guys! So I’m suffering with this subtype. I feel like I developed a crush on someone of the same sex and I have always identified as a straight woman. I’ve always been attracted to men. I feel like I get the feelings of a crush but it’s always followed by intense anxiety. “What if this crush is real?” “Am I now Bi?” I just can’t shake the feeling that the feelings are real and I need to accept them but then what if it’s false attraction or OCD? “What if I’m in denial?” I’m in a relationship with a man who I really love and want to be with. I only want feelings for him. I don’t want to like women or be attracted to a woman. What do I do?

Hello, I am fairly new to this app. I wanted to speak about the way I dream. I have dreams like I am hurt physically usually bloody either self inflicted or by some random person in my dream. Then I get saved by people I care about like friends or even people that I have a crush on. Or sometimes I have dreams that I speak about tramuatic events that I went through as a child to a crush and the feel bad for me and want to help me. I dont fear these dreams at all but I notice every time I sleep I ball my fists and when I dont I cant sleep.I clench my fists so hard in the morning they are sore. Also these dreams are almost every night.I am also very sensitive to how people talk to me if I am yelled at I shut down and have chest palpitations that radiate to my heart to my arms numbing it. Does anyone else experience any of these? Ive been researching and found myself here. For reference I have been tested for ADHD and I dont have it but I was told I might have OCD from the other symptoms I experience like heavy Intrusive thoughts, anxiety attacks/episodes, depression,dissociation ( like I am not real and even my emotions are like frozen and more) , bothered all day if something is moved by someone else when I put it a certain way, rituals ( blinking, and looking away from something multiple times mostly in number of twos etc), contamination ( washing my hands many times in between getting dressed after eacb task to feel clean), hating certain textures of fabrics or objects(more of a werid one ive had for a long time),procrastination, reassurance on all my action causing me to not think for myself, poor memory or false memory,and more.Any response would be helpful.

18+ I remember a few years ago I was still getting dressed and my gf opened the door to her younger brother without noticing I was still changing and he’s like a little over 3 years younger than me. he must’ve been 14-15 at the time. But I had my bra on I was just putting on my shirt and I can’t remember why but I didn’t say anything even though I noticed. I’m scared I traumatized him. It took my girlfriend like 10 seconds to realize I was still getting dressed. I was kind of off to the side but it looked like he saw me so yeah.

How’s every one doing? I’ve been working on myself a lot lately. OCD therapy, regular therapy, breathwork, Pilates, all the things. Overall I’m feeling stronger every day, but still have triggers and sometimes the OCD rages. I just want everyone to know I’m rooting for you all. OCD is so hard, and I’m so proud of each and every one of you for fighting it. Sending you all lots of love 💖 Pic is a photo I took at the lake this weekend. It was so peaceful.

I have a phobia of a specific sickness, and although I’ve come to realize that the actual experience of it isn’t so bad, the anticipation is what really destroys me. Always wondering if and when. I just can’t stop :( does anyone know how to deal with this? I do my ERP but sometimes it’s like I go mad with the realization that my fear could really happen. I know that if it weren’t this, it would be something else. I mean, it has been, over and over again. And it’s always the same fear of anticipation. Any support or tips? Thanks.

I was in a rush brushing my teeth, I opened the drawer to get toothpaste and I got the water of my brush inside the things in the drawer. I got thoughts that I could contaminate them and that my parents would get harmed. I ignored them and I'm not sure if I responded with "I don't care." I had to reapply toothpaste and it happened again (the water falling) Afterwards, I said "There's germs everywhere I highly doubt that anything will happen" But I got a bit worried, so I wiped them down. I fear that I did something wrong and that I'm evil for this.

should I feel guilty for being in a relationship while struggling with my sexual identity and the soocd that comes along with it? what if I'm not actually attracted to men AND women/non binary people, but just women??? am I wasting mine and his time by trying to work through this while being with him? I've talked to him about this and he says he doesn't want to leave me and supports me no matter what conclusion I could come to, but I'm terrified that I'll come to a conclusion that means I have to leave him. I'm so scared, I want to be with him and have a life with him, but what if this is comp het and saying I'm unlabeled is denial or an excuse??? I love pride month but it just seems like the reason why this subtype has come back full force. any advice would be great 🧡

Does anyone else believe there is a tie between toxic overbearing mothers and OCD?? Ive had some therapists tell me this in the past. I love my mother but she is insane and gives me so much anxiety. If I am around her for more than 10 minutes my brain and obsessions start spiraling. Its great because I live with her 🫠

I don’t even think this is OCD I’m just looking for advice on this: I fancy females but the thought of sex with them makes me anxious, nervous, guilty and sick why is that, also I’m a male.

Hi I’m looking to connect with people who are experiencing harm/suicidal and pure ocd. I’ve had these themes for a while. The compulsive behaviors have always been in my head (ruminating,catastrophes,what ifs, intrusive commands “do it”, “you want to”, “you will”, “you’re suicidal “). I’ve had other themes in between but these specific ones aren’t letting go. I’m in ERP therapy through NOCD for the last few months, my therapist is great but I’m just having a hard time. I’m just wondering if anyone has overcome these themes? What exposures have you done and how did you get through it? How long did it take you? Etc … any shared experience is greatly appreciated thanks

My entire life anytime I saw something on the news or heard about someone hurting a child sexually or beating/killing them, I would get so angry and sick over it. I still do but ever since developing ocd, my ocd tells me i’m just like those people and really tries to make me believe it and question myself. This theme also latches onto my own family and my children. It’s the hardest and worst theme i’ve had. It makes me not want to live and is so unbearable😩😢