Welcome to
the NOCD Community

does false attraction exist in rocd? like is it possibile to have it? i heard of people having it in soocd and pocd, but I dont know if it also works with rocd, I have the best bf on earth and i know i love him, even if my ocd likes to tell me im not really in love, but im in a camp and there is this guy and my brain is telling me im attracted/in love with him, when im clearly not and this gives me a lot of anxiety I feel like im going to throw up, im trying to avoid him and im closed in my room for this because im so scared, everytime i see him I get a lot of anxiety and I dont want it, I dont want him, I want to be with my bf and be happy again

I am having a really bad ocd flare up while typing this so bare with me but i keep thinking about things I hate. Like people, for example this one guy from my English class who made me super uncomfortable and he liked me i guess and he was really gross and just made me feel like crying and I just feel disgusted but for some reason since school has ended anything i like or want to do he comes to mind because he in my mind is something I hate so like my ocd just pushes him and like animals dying to my eyes and I can’t stop thinking of his name and his nasty face and I can’t look at the number that’s his age or numbers similar or I freak out and feel like crying like i was just looking at summer clothing and for some reason opening my laptop correlates to him because of a past freak out I had while opening my laptop and I just feel like crying because the stuff I looked at was perfect but anytime i get close to my laptop i just think of his nasty rude gross i can’t even explain this ocd feeling towards him my teacher had forced me to sit behind him and he would always turn halfway rub his disgusting beard and read during reading time and once i told my teacher how I felt she let me move to the back of the class but I still had to be in the same class of him and the fact he might still come back next year haunts me i am just crying this has happened with other people before too but it’s just random people that my mind targets I feel so disgusting I feel like he had nasty thoughts of me i just don’t know but yeah everything i do correlates to something bad, and for the past 2 weeks it’s been that. If anyone has advice please help

I saw this stupid TikTok about ‘sanpaku’ eyes and different eyes and what they mean and it showed these serial killers and how white shows at the top of their eyes and they pull a shocked expression and it’s like a psychotic look they pull and then I started pulling faces in the mirror like widening my eyes like in those pictures and then last night I was doing it infront of a mirror and I don’t know why I done it for a long time and quite a few times and it got to the point where I was staring so hard into the mirror pulling that face thag I literally felt demented or literally felt in that moment that I’m actually evil and the fact I felt like I wanted to pull that psychotic face like it felt like I actually wanted to pull the face and imagine that about myself and I know I use to test myself a lot with thoughts but this literally felt real like there’s something wrong with me and then it felt like something inside me wanted to smile and that I’m ‘holding back a smile or happiness’ like it almost felt like I enjoyed pulling that face and trying to imagine I’m evil and then I’m think there’s some people who try to imitate these evil killers and why do I keep doing things like this like I have no reason to be pulling those faces and Idk if I’m confused but it felt like I almost ‘enjoyed’ imaging that about myself or pulling those faces. Now it feels like I’m obsessed with doing that eye widening thing and throughout the day I keep doing it and the fact it felt so real that I’m evil or it almost felt like I got mesmerised looking at my face pulling that expression in the mirror like I kept staring and it felt like I wanted to pull that face but why would I want to see myself pulling a psychotic/Demeted face and someone asked me something like are you experimenting and trying to see how you feel if your evil or how those evil people feel but that literally sounds like something someone evil would do now it feels like I’m addicted to pulling that face and I don’t get anxiety I just felt demented in that moment of pulling that face what does this mean? Idk how to deal with this and I get no anxiety or anything anymore like why am I trying to imagine myself being evil or model myself on these evil people it’s almost like I’m trying my best to convince myself I’m evil instead of trying to prove I’m not or what if it’s because I actually am evil or want to be someone said you would know to you wanted to be and I say to them I literally don’t know if I’m like that or want that I’ve become so confused before I knew I didn’t but now I don’t. Even know what I feel someone said to me ‘do you feel happy imaging those things or you would know if you like it’ and it feels like I don’t even know because I’m believing it so much and the face I’ve been pulling since I watched that TikTok literally Looks so demented like I actually look evil and it feels like it’s stained me doing that face like I feel like I’m actually evil because of pulling that face

One of my first themes came back. I'm again really worried about developing schizophrenia. Everything about it terrifies me to my core. No one in my family has it so I know the chances of me getting it are really low but... I once read that the first symptom someone noticed was they thought bugs were crawling all over their body and now every time I think about this I get itchy and I'm so afraid this might be the start... I don't know how to help myself in this situation. Im so so so scared

Hello I’m new to this app. I haven’t been given a diagnosis of ocd but I feel like whether it be from my other problems it seems like I have the same struggles in a sense. I have depression and adhd and I struggle a lot with anxiety but I haven’t been diagnosed with any specific anxiety disorder. I just wanted to give a little context. Now time for the real questions It feels like I constantly struggle with not knowing how I’m supposed to feel. Which is strange because that implies there is a correct way to feel but it feels like my brain tries to convince me that how I’m feeling isn’t correct Another thing I often struggle with things feeling meaningless and I try to push this thought away but I can’t. It just makes everything feel empty

I’m too far gone I don’t think I can ever recover that part of me that didn’t constantly worry my brain is now bringing up things that I did when I was a kid I didn’t know any better I really am sorry but I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong I was curious and I shouldn’t have done it

I can’t shake this , I don’t know what it is. i struggle with derealzation terribly and it’s been being triggered by my boyfriend , I don’t know what it is and it scares me so much, he’s my favorite person and my mind keeps telling me “ he don’t exist” or I can’t recognize him. It started last night because my mind starting make all these fears and I just have never felt this bad .. I really would like some words or help if anybody can relate or share ?🥺

Hey guys! I’ve been wanting to attend the self compassion group meetings for a few weeks, but because I’m based in the UK, they’re usually pretty late at night for me and so I’m pretty much asleep by then! I would love to hear some of the tips and tricks that people have picked up in those sessions for those of us who are missing them!

This weekend i was in a funeral, a 21 year old guy lost his battle with cancer, the sad thing was that 1 and a half month ago he was okay. It just happened so quickly. I wasnt friends with him, i knew him, but i went to the funeral cause he was almost the same age as me( im 23). So i noticed since then im really afraid of dying young. I know the common answer is "well everybody is, that's normal" i dont want to make it a normal thing in my life. When people are dealing with this im really angry about how others react to this. You always get "well you have to accept it, you can die anytime, its part of life" which is somewhat true but you wont help the other person with this, for me personally this makes me spin more and im more desperate cause its like im forced to accept i will die at a young age. I dont say it cant happen but i know those who experieced this fear understand what im saying. This "accept that you might die a young age" is really an ignorant answer and then they come with "youre not ready for life, life is tough" and all that, well maybe you just dont know how to talk with someones heart... I went to reddit to read about christians having this fear and there were a bunch of "this is normal, everyone fears" and "you might not be saved" which is a bullcrap, but there was 1 answer that actually opened my eyey which said that its not that we are afraid of death or dying young, we are afraid of missing out of life. And then i realized, yes im not afraid of dying, im afraid of not experiencing life, not having a girlfriend, a wife, kids,grandkinds, and have experiences(if you want to say "well not everyone gets that" please leave it for yourself, im not interested on that) I realized im 23, i never had a gf and if i think about dying young and i wont experience these things, i really get angry. And it got to a point where its really bad cause when i get something, then im afraid i will lose it or i will die and i wont be able to ebkoy it. There were times when i was thinking about my future, that i have a gf or wife and i just get this fear that i will die after that, i wont be able to enjoy it, and it just really takes the joy away. Even with my dog, i wanted a dog but since i got him many times im worrying about losing him or leaving him. Yeah im really struggling with this missing out of life, i hope someone can help how to work on this. Maybe im a little afraid of death too, but many times i feel like im not, but this really opened my eyes that this fear of dying young isnt about death, its more about missing out of life.

Hi, I wondered if anyone is being treated for ADHD alongside OCD and how meds for ADHD helped? Thanks

Coming from someone in their 20somethings, I can say that transitioning into adulthood has been the most challenging thing on my mental health. I find more often than not, my brain is racing about 94 different thoughts, worries, responsibilities ext. and trying to find the meaning behind all of them.

How can I go back to my studying. I'm having a one month break from classes to self study what I've left behind. It's already in the 2nd week of the month and I haven't done any studies. My OCD had been so hard lately. I don't have interest in my future anymore ( even though my future isn't in a state that I should be staying like this right now). How do you guys manage to study with OCD happening. How should I put myself to study

One of my most severe ocd subgroups is dea()h (I can’t type it). If an image of someone who is de()d comes to mind I have to do compulsions to get rid of it. This of course all stems from the fear of dy()ng and I have this irrational fear that if I do anything at all, including breathing, with those images in my mind or actual images in front of me (like a picture or on tv) it would lead me to possibly have a higher chance of d()ing or earlier. I was wondering if anyone struggles with a similar issue, and if there was something you tell or convince yourself to help alleviate it. I had a really bad episode tonight where it was just constant image after image and I’m exhausted. Thank you!

I feel like my body and mind are just so tired of being stuck in these same mental loops of torment with OCD and don’t know how to do anything else. I feel exhausted from not being able to cure myself out of these thoughts and self-destructive habits and that I’m not going to make it out of them because I’ve been tied down to this illness for so long. I wish things could have been different growing up and I took care of myself better so I wouldn’t have gotten so negative and loved myself more so these thoughts wouldn’t be so potent. I’ve had OCD most of my life, and I just don’t get how other people can live their lives normally and not suffer so heavily. I get really mad knowing I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and other people can enjoy life so easily. And now the summer is coming and it’s when I get the most depressed and feel so helpless from sadness, and my OCD has only just gotten worse. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to take care of myself anymore, and hate how anxious I am about actually telling people what’s going on with me in fear of judgment and not accepting me, so I just go along with self-sabotaging habits. I’m also afraid that nobody is going to want to help me. This only makes things worse, and it’s really hard for me to be happy. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. It makes it so hard to function as a human since I’ve been struggling for so long. I feel so disconnected from God because of this illness, and it only makes me more upset with myself for lack of effort and feel depressed. Please if someone is struggling with something similar or has advice, reach out ❤️

First I would like to say is that tw and I also can’t afford a therapist and please give me advice I have no peace in my mind I just want to be a normal person again. Since 2022 I have been getting filthy unwanted sexual thoughts towards children I feel awful about it because it goes against my morals and characters as a human being. I feel like a horrible person and I feel like I have no rest in my mind, everyday it’s the same thoughts that torment me and I happens all hours of the day there’s not an hour that goes by the day that I don’t get these ugly horrible thoughts. I recently started getting “feelings” down there and I hate it. These thoughts came back again stronger this February. I also believe in Christ so if you have advice of how I can pray against this because I don’t really know what’s the root of these thoughts. As long as I have these thoughts I can never be free these thoughts have put me back into a state of depression and well as suicidal thoughts I just feel like I’m living hell on earth I am also 17 years old female, so please someone help me. I have tried praying against these thoughts but nothing, I have tried deliverance prayers worship etc but nothing. — I also tagged Christian ocd for advice !!

I feel as though dopamine really affects my ocd. Like if I’m a high like after having a coffee or getting out and doing some I enjoy and being social. My ocd is gone. However when I’m home or a bit lonely it comes on pretty strongly. I’m on lexapro and I do ERP so those flare ups aren’t as life threatening as they used to be. But feels like depression is a gateaway for my OCD to attack me.

so i’m not diagnosed with ocd (as i’ve said a lot of times) but everyone i’ve talked to on this app agrees that i most likely have it. and i strongly 100% agree with contamination ocd. however i’m scared about whether that’s true for my harm thoughts. so i recently discovered pure o because i don’t typically do physical compulsions as much as mental compulsions with my harm thoughts. and i ruminate, have intense anxiety, check my feelings, the whole 10. but one thing that i don’t know if it’s normal is when people say they’re “unwanted” or you really don’t WANT to do them, i literally feel like i do. and when the urges get strong, i don’t know what’s holding me back because while i’ve never ever acted on it, it genuinely feels like i want to. my brain has literally convinced me that i have anxiety because i can’t do it instead of because i’m scared i will do it. is this a normal thing?

Anyone else feel like they will never be understood in a relationship? Like I want to get to know other people but its like I feel like I am boring and my ocd just makes my life a living hell currently. No motivation to do nothing even though I have alot to do and literally having no purpose in life.Like I literally dont feel like I have ever enjoyed any of my life because it feels like I am not real or I am like a shadow in my own body? Its frustrating because my last relationship was horibbly toxic and the guy I was with was horrible and I broke things off after years of abuse and I have currently been having a hard time not to reach out to him after no contact for 3 months.I feel immense guilt like I was mean to him even though he cheated on me and a part of me says I deserve to go back to the abuse. And I feel like maybe I am punishing myself because my faith in God is not the strongest Ive stopped praying and I dont read the bible consistently becayse I get very overwhelmed because I want to make sure I am doing bible study correctly or ill be punished. (sorry for the spelling mistakes)

I think I might start panicking or something man…..it’s been a while since I actually started to become worried a lot over intrusive thoughts. I planned on doing homework for my summer classes today but I can’t seem to right now. I can’t concentrate. goooossshhhh I hate this