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Hello!

I was so good for such a long time. I felt like I truly had a handle on things and everything was going well. Moved to a new city recently and now OCD moved with me and is taking up even more space. Being alone is hard enough! It makes me so angry that on top of the stress of readjusting to a new place, I’m having to fight off these thoughts and feelings like a wildfire. Leave me alone! I hate it. I was so happy. The world I lived in was great. Now everywhere I go I’m convinced that everyone despises me or I’m covered in diseases or whatever the hell it is at that given moment. It’s got me in this box because I feel like I can’t say anything to anyone without asking for reassurance. Now I am just filled with a burning frustration nonstop. Anger isn’t an emotion I usually experience as a result of ocd but I’ve had it. It’s so so so annoying damnit

My health anxiety has reared its ugly head again. I was doing so well for a little bit and felt like I could finally be present and enjoy my life after my Sertraline dosage increase. I guess my body has adjusted to the dosage because unfortunately, I can't think about anything else. 😔 I'm convinced I'm dying of c again and it sucks. I have a doc appointment next week and this waiting period is the worst. Anyone else taking Sertraline for health anxiety?

18+ please! Sorry if this inappropriate. Does anyone else deal with the consequences of having consumed pornography and has ocd? Can you tell me if you also have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sexual activity? I'm not proud to say that I had access to this type of content at a young age and it grew with me until the first years of my adult life. I only became aware of the extent of the damage when I received my ocd diagnosis and even though my therapist and I believe that I have had ocd since childhood, addiction to pornography was an important factor in making the disorder worse since I suffer from graphic images and sexual content intrusive thoughts I've been trying to learn how to have a good relationship with my sexuality without using pornography for a few months, but it's not always easy to use my imagination when I have some tabs open in my head that get in my way. I really can't and don't want to have access to any type of adult content anymore, but I always think it's easier to be able to "silence" intrusive thoughts. It's happened several times where I try to use my imagination and then I have an intrusive thought and I think I stimulated myself by thinking about it and it's just disgusting and I feel really bad. I've been trying to deal with this for months and with medical help for both problems, I really feel dirty and lost about it and I don't know how to make it stop. I spent days avoiding even thinking about anything sexual so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but my therapist said that this is also unhealthy and can become a compulsion, so I don't know what to do. Anyone who goes through/has gone through something similar?

does false attraction exist in rocd? like is it possibile to have it? i heard of people having it in soocd and pocd, but I dont know if it also works with rocd, I have the best bf on earth and i know i love him, even if my ocd likes to tell me im not really in love, but im in a camp and there is this guy and my brain is telling me im attracted/in love with him, when im clearly not and this gives me a lot of anxiety I feel like im going to throw up, im trying to avoid him and im closed in my room for this because im so scared, everytime i see him I get a lot of anxiety and I dont want it, I dont want him, I want to be with my bf and be happy again

I am having a really bad ocd flare up while typing this so bare with me but i keep thinking about things I hate. Like people, for example this one guy from my English class who made me super uncomfortable and he liked me i guess and he was really gross and just made me feel like crying and I just feel disgusted but for some reason since school has ended anything i like or want to do he comes to mind because he in my mind is something I hate so like my ocd just pushes him and like animals dying to my eyes and I can’t stop thinking of his name and his nasty face and I can’t look at the number that’s his age or numbers similar or I freak out and feel like crying like i was just looking at summer clothing and for some reason opening my laptop correlates to him because of a past freak out I had while opening my laptop and I just feel like crying because the stuff I looked at was perfect but anytime i get close to my laptop i just think of his nasty rude gross i can’t even explain this ocd feeling towards him my teacher had forced me to sit behind him and he would always turn halfway rub his disgusting beard and read during reading time and once i told my teacher how I felt she let me move to the back of the class but I still had to be in the same class of him and the fact he might still come back next year haunts me i am just crying this has happened with other people before too but it’s just random people that my mind targets I feel so disgusting I feel like he had nasty thoughts of me i just don’t know but yeah everything i do correlates to something bad, and for the past 2 weeks it’s been that. If anyone has advice please help

I saw this stupid TikTok about ‘sanpaku’ eyes and different eyes and what they mean and it showed these serial killers and how white shows at the top of their eyes and they pull a shocked expression and it’s like a psychotic look they pull and then I started pulling faces in the mirror like widening my eyes like in those pictures and then last night I was doing it infront of a mirror and I don’t know why I done it for a long time and quite a few times and it got to the point where I was staring so hard into the mirror pulling that face thag I literally felt demented or literally felt in that moment that I’m actually evil and the fact I felt like I wanted to pull that psychotic face like it felt like I actually wanted to pull the face and imagine that about myself and I know I use to test myself a lot with thoughts but this literally felt real like there’s something wrong with me and then it felt like something inside me wanted to smile and that I’m ‘holding back a smile or happiness’ like it almost felt like I enjoyed pulling that face and trying to imagine I’m evil and then I’m think there’s some people who try to imitate these evil killers and why do I keep doing things like this like I have no reason to be pulling those faces and Idk if I’m confused but it felt like I almost ‘enjoyed’ imaging that about myself or pulling those faces. Now it feels like I’m obsessed with doing that eye widening thing and throughout the day I keep doing it and the fact it felt so real that I’m evil or it almost felt like I got mesmerised looking at my face pulling that expression in the mirror like I kept staring and it felt like I wanted to pull that face but why would I want to see myself pulling a psychotic/Demeted face and someone asked me something like are you experimenting and trying to see how you feel if your evil or how those evil people feel but that literally sounds like something someone evil would do now it feels like I’m addicted to pulling that face and I don’t get anxiety I just felt demented in that moment of pulling that face what does this mean? Idk how to deal with this and I get no anxiety or anything anymore like why am I trying to imagine myself being evil or model myself on these evil people it’s almost like I’m trying my best to convince myself I’m evil instead of trying to prove I’m not or what if it’s because I actually am evil or want to be someone said you would know to you wanted to be and I say to them I literally don’t know if I’m like that or want that I’ve become so confused before I knew I didn’t but now I don’t. Even know what I feel someone said to me ‘do you feel happy imaging those things or you would know if you like it’ and it feels like I don’t even know because I’m believing it so much and the face I’ve been pulling since I watched that TikTok literally Looks so demented like I actually look evil and it feels like it’s stained me doing that face like I feel like I’m actually evil because of pulling that face

One of my first themes came back. I'm again really worried about developing schizophrenia. Everything about it terrifies me to my core. No one in my family has it so I know the chances of me getting it are really low but... I once read that the first symptom someone noticed was they thought bugs were crawling all over their body and now every time I think about this I get itchy and I'm so afraid this might be the start... I don't know how to help myself in this situation. Im so so so scared

Hello I’m new to this app. I haven’t been given a diagnosis of ocd but I feel like whether it be from my other problems it seems like I have the same struggles in a sense. I have depression and adhd and I struggle a lot with anxiety but I haven’t been diagnosed with any specific anxiety disorder. I just wanted to give a little context. Now time for the real questions It feels like I constantly struggle with not knowing how I’m supposed to feel. Which is strange because that implies there is a correct way to feel but it feels like my brain tries to convince me that how I’m feeling isn’t correct Another thing I often struggle with things feeling meaningless and I try to push this thought away but I can’t. It just makes everything feel empty

I’m too far gone I don’t think I can ever recover that part of me that didn’t constantly worry my brain is now bringing up things that I did when I was a kid I didn’t know any better I really am sorry but I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong I was curious and I shouldn’t have done it

I can’t shake this , I don’t know what it is. i struggle with derealzation terribly and it’s been being triggered by my boyfriend , I don’t know what it is and it scares me so much, he’s my favorite person and my mind keeps telling me “ he don’t exist” or I can’t recognize him. It started last night because my mind starting make all these fears and I just have never felt this bad .. I really would like some words or help if anybody can relate or share ?🥺

Hey guys! I’ve been wanting to attend the self compassion group meetings for a few weeks, but because I’m based in the UK, they’re usually pretty late at night for me and so I’m pretty much asleep by then! I would love to hear some of the tips and tricks that people have picked up in those sessions for those of us who are missing them!

This weekend i was in a funeral, a 21 year old guy lost his battle with cancer, the sad thing was that 1 and a half month ago he was okay. It just happened so quickly. I wasnt friends with him, i knew him, but i went to the funeral cause he was almost the same age as me( im 23). So i noticed since then im really afraid of dying young. I know the common answer is "well everybody is, that's normal" i dont want to make it a normal thing in my life. When people are dealing with this im really angry about how others react to this. You always get "well you have to accept it, you can die anytime, its part of life" which is somewhat true but you wont help the other person with this, for me personally this makes me spin more and im more desperate cause its like im forced to accept i will die at a young age. I dont say it cant happen but i know those who experieced this fear understand what im saying. This "accept that you might die a young age" is really an ignorant answer and then they come with "youre not ready for life, life is tough" and all that, well maybe you just dont know how to talk with someones heart... I went to reddit to read about christians having this fear and there were a bunch of "this is normal, everyone fears" and "you might not be saved" which is a bullcrap, but there was 1 answer that actually opened my eyey which said that its not that we are afraid of death or dying young, we are afraid of missing out of life. And then i realized, yes im not afraid of dying, im afraid of not experiencing life, not having a girlfriend, a wife, kids,grandkinds, and have experiences(if you want to say "well not everyone gets that" please leave it for yourself, im not interested on that) I realized im 23, i never had a gf and if i think about dying young and i wont experience these things, i really get angry. And it got to a point where its really bad cause when i get something, then im afraid i will lose it or i will die and i wont be able to ebkoy it. There were times when i was thinking about my future, that i have a gf or wife and i just get this fear that i will die after that, i wont be able to enjoy it, and it just really takes the joy away. Even with my dog, i wanted a dog but since i got him many times im worrying about losing him or leaving him. Yeah im really struggling with this missing out of life, i hope someone can help how to work on this. Maybe im a little afraid of death too, but many times i feel like im not, but this really opened my eyes that this fear of dying young isnt about death, its more about missing out of life.

Hi, I wondered if anyone is being treated for ADHD alongside OCD and how meds for ADHD helped? Thanks

Coming from someone in their 20somethings, I can say that transitioning into adulthood has been the most challenging thing on my mental health. I find more often than not, my brain is racing about 94 different thoughts, worries, responsibilities ext. and trying to find the meaning behind all of them.

How can I go back to my studying. I'm having a one month break from classes to self study what I've left behind. It's already in the 2nd week of the month and I haven't done any studies. My OCD had been so hard lately. I don't have interest in my future anymore ( even though my future isn't in a state that I should be staying like this right now). How do you guys manage to study with OCD happening. How should I put myself to study

One of my most severe ocd subgroups is dea()h (I can’t type it). If an image of someone who is de()d comes to mind I have to do compulsions to get rid of it. This of course all stems from the fear of dy()ng and I have this irrational fear that if I do anything at all, including breathing, with those images in my mind or actual images in front of me (like a picture or on tv) it would lead me to possibly have a higher chance of d()ing or earlier. I was wondering if anyone struggles with a similar issue, and if there was something you tell or convince yourself to help alleviate it. I had a really bad episode tonight where it was just constant image after image and I’m exhausted. Thank you!

I feel like my body and mind are just so tired of being stuck in these same mental loops of torment with OCD and don’t know how to do anything else. I feel exhausted from not being able to cure myself out of these thoughts and self-destructive habits and that I’m not going to make it out of them because I’ve been tied down to this illness for so long. I wish things could have been different growing up and I took care of myself better so I wouldn’t have gotten so negative and loved myself more so these thoughts wouldn’t be so potent. I’ve had OCD most of my life, and I just don’t get how other people can live their lives normally and not suffer so heavily. I get really mad knowing I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and other people can enjoy life so easily. And now the summer is coming and it’s when I get the most depressed and feel so helpless from sadness, and my OCD has only just gotten worse. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to take care of myself anymore, and hate how anxious I am about actually telling people what’s going on with me in fear of judgment and not accepting me, so I just go along with self-sabotaging habits. I’m also afraid that nobody is going to want to help me. This only makes things worse, and it’s really hard for me to be happy. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. It makes it so hard to function as a human since I’ve been struggling for so long. I feel so disconnected from God because of this illness, and it only makes me more upset with myself for lack of effort and feel depressed. Please if someone is struggling with something similar or has advice, reach out ❤️

First I would like to say is that tw and I also can’t afford a therapist and please give me advice I have no peace in my mind I just want to be a normal person again. Since 2022 I have been getting filthy unwanted sexual thoughts towards children I feel awful about it because it goes against my morals and characters as a human being. I feel like a horrible person and I feel like I have no rest in my mind, everyday it’s the same thoughts that torment me and I happens all hours of the day there’s not an hour that goes by the day that I don’t get these ugly horrible thoughts. I recently started getting “feelings” down there and I hate it. These thoughts came back again stronger this February. I also believe in Christ so if you have advice of how I can pray against this because I don’t really know what’s the root of these thoughts. As long as I have these thoughts I can never be free these thoughts have put me back into a state of depression and well as suicidal thoughts I just feel like I’m living hell on earth I am also 17 years old female, so please someone help me. I have tried praying against these thoughts but nothing, I have tried deliverance prayers worship etc but nothing. — I also tagged Christian ocd for advice !!