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the NOCD Community

How do you all see ocd? I see a lot of demonised perspectives on it. Just curious as to how you view it.

Anyone here who got over the pocd theme?Do you have any advice? It's really scary .I dealt with it for a long time . I think it's one of the wost themes that I had besides harm ocd and real event .Also have you talk with someone about it? I am terrified to talk with someone , even a therapist

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

Every time I’ think about going outside for a walk - my brain pictures them - maybe with a groinal response - and will do this randomly throughout the day even if I’m at home And when I do leave the house there all I seem to notice Is this pocd or fantasy? I feel like I’m in denial Also sometimes I get in these manic states when at home (no anxiety or fear anymore) but I guess a state of panic where the line between what’s right and wrong is blurred and I don’t know who I am anymore And sometimes a surge of adrenaline like I’m going to do something Please help I’m speaking to a psychiatrist soon and I really don’t know what to tell them

My biggest fear right now is not getting better and rhats so scary. I dont want death to be "my only way out" I hate this so so much. Please if any one has advice pls do give because i feel hopeless. I want to live again. The overwhelming amount of fear anxiety i get every day is just too much. Please help.

ive been questioning these past weeks, what js wrong with me? i just feel like i FEEL the thoughts but i dont HEAR them. I felt all these things, i saw these images but than i didnt. I felt fucking insane. Until, after a short anxiety attack, and some spiralling. I realized what the problem is. Im repressing the thoughts, im forcing them shut. Im just not letting them flow. I would tell them to stop, to shut up. And i fear, after doing that, the thoughts are still there, and i feel them there, i just dont hear them. Its weird, and probably doesnt make sense. But i honestly fear my own mind, i fear my thoughts, i fear the images, i fear the power it holds. And ive been chicken to it. It makes me feel crazy, like a lunatic. I feels like someone is squeezing my brain. Idk, does any else relate?

Anyone else get triggered by seeing true crime stories on tiktok of people who k*lled family members and worry that they could become like that or are secretly like that? It’s horrible and just the worst to think about. I really hope I’m not the only one. I wasn’t always afraid of things like this. I don’t know what happened. It’s like my brain wants me to believe I’m capable of something like that but I know I’m not and obviously I don’t want to do that. I love my family and my greatest fear is losing them. Please tell me I’m not alone. I know many people struggle with harm ocd I just always feel so isolated when my situation is not described exactly. If you’ve recovered from this form of ocd what helped you the most?

I was doing great for 4 days straight then it just hit me…like a giant wave and intrusive thoughts just started bombarding me…now I’m in the back yard in tears & sad…arrrrhhhghg

Am I insane for having such thoughts? I'm not asking for reassurance. A single "I can relate" would make me feel less alone and less like a creep or the exception. I will practice ERP after this post, but I just really felt the need to address it. I shouldn't because then I make it more meaningful, but if I don't this will come back to haunt me in the future again, if I do this, and these triggering thoughts comes back I'll just say "I already addressed this, I don't need to do that again, this is OCD" I had remembered that time when I was little when I had phimosis and my mother had to help to open it because i couldn't, the doctors said that she had to do it, until I could do it my own. And then I had a thought what happens when it's not a male but the female side does something like that happen? And I got triggered so much thinking about that, had a few vague intrusive images. It was so triggering and disturbing. I needed to solve it but I didn't want to because it was so triggering to think about so I didn't. I have to let uncertainty be there. I also had obsessive thoughts because I got triggered of the fact that adults share the same private organs like ****s and wondered the difference because in men you can understand clearly the difference with the size as you grow so I started to thinking about what happens in the other side and got triggered so much thinking about that and felt like a creep. I didn't want to think about that and felt horrible that my thoughts lead to wonder about something like that. The fact that the se&ual features that we enjoy in adults are the sames as when we are young triggered me a lot and I was afraid of not seeing those se&ual elements in adults as normal features but costantly associated with that knowedge. Before I was attracted to the female adult organ but now I'm just weirded out because in my mind there is this triggering connection, this knowledge. But if there is a substantial difference that makes me differentiate definitely so that I don't get triggered anymore I can't think about it because then I would be going "there", in a very triggering topic, I don't want to think about "that", I'd feel like a **** and it would destroy my already broken sanity for how triggering it would be. Then one would think "you're messed up if you can't distinguish the difference" but I do, I know the difference, but the fact that we share the same organs triggers me a lot because there is an association and I don't want it at all. I don't want to think about that. I'm so triggered by these thoughts but I'm not going to entertain OCD any longer. This is clearly an OCD mechanism because I've been stuck with these thoughts in my mind since, feeling distress and needing to address them, ruminating. I'll move forward and sit with the distress. Now I remembered an another triggering rumination discourse I had for an whole 1 hour inside a car alone in my brain, that I can't believe I had, it was a voice asking me what's the difference between the body of an adult and a trigger and I couldn't find a clear answer to it and I got triggered by that question and my lack of a ready and certain answer, so I ruminated about it, and I was so afraid that I could be agreeing with the question, and triggered that it could have been valid, that that messed up logic was indeed logic, when it was a question so disgusting. And I feel the need to review it again, ask for reassurance abt it, check what I wrote in my notes to check that I didnt write anything strange. It was just overthinking I guess, but I'm so bothered that I even entertained that question. It made me feel like a ****. And it was before my med school exam. I was tired from my lack of sleep and instead of sleeping in the car I ruminated and tried to answer that question for more than 1 hour. I felt so disgusting. I think these are all questions of the same nature that OCD gives me as an assignment to solve, and my brain needs me to solve them otherwise it thinks I'll be stuck with those question forever unsolved, and the trick behind those questions is that they are so triggering that the fact that I'm willing to entertaining such horrible and triggering questions makes me doubt my own integrity. But in order to move past these triggering questions is to accept uncertainty and the discomfort that happened as a result of the thoughts and disengage with the triggering thoughts, knowing that we can't solve it in a way that makes us stop having anxiety about it.

I am really curious to try the GeneSight test because I think that it would help me understand what medication will work better for me. I spoke with multiple different people about this, and it was brought to my attention by my hairstylist and my therapist. They both think it would be really good for me, and I’m willing to try it if my insurance will cover it. I then texted my psychiatrist and she seemed very unsure about the testing. Part of me thinks that she just wants more money so she is not willing to help me find what medication works best for me, the other part of me wonders if it is not a good idea and a waste of money to do the testing. I want to see the best in my psychiatrist, but she tends to not listen to me anyways, so I don’t really have a reason to listen to her in this situation. I’m curious to know if anybody else has tried the Genesight testing and how it worked for you. Or if you have medication recommendations? I know that is more tricky, because it’s different for everyone.

Hi so I just have a question and I just need some help. During a rough patch in my boyfriend and my relationship I saw that he unblocked two girls he slept with. He said that he unblocked and blocked them straight away because he wanted to clear his blocked list and then when he realised it would make me upset blocked them again. I just saw last night that on his instagram data it shows he did it on two seperate nights, which he says “he did it all in one night”. And the time stamps are both different meaning he did do it on two seperate nights. He keeps getting mad at me for bringing this up but it hurts me and keeps making me feel like I’m the reason we are going to break up because I bring this up. It doesn’t make sense because he “unblocked” those two girls but not the other 10 people he had blocked. If he was “clearing it” why wouldn’t he unblock them to. I’m going crazy, he’s telling me I should believe him and that he wouldn’t lie but I just feel like it’s the most fake story ever. Help please

What makes my situation different than someone discovering their sexual orientation later in life? How can I still be my identified sexual orientation when I have these thoughts, images and urges? Am I just using OCD as an excuse? I’ve both seen these thoughts, and have had them myself or some similar, especially the last one. Usually OCD loves to add some guilt to it to, after all when that random person whose story you read about online, who definitely told the whole story and was 100% truthful, shared their story, they accepted these thoughts. What gives you the right to deny them? What if one of your children is gay? How can you support them if you denied acting on those exact same thoughts and feelings they’re totally having? Etc. That am I using OCD as an excuse question still gets me a little bit, but nowhere near as much as before and the reason why has been learning to accept that I am different from all those people because I do have OCD! So are we using OCD as an excuse? Maybe. Maybe Not. But you and I do have this terrible illness that creates this intense doubt and extreme thoughts that our brains struggle to just move past. We’ll never know what number on the sexual spectrum we are, but we don’t need to figure it out. We are okay living the life we want whomever that is with.

Hi everyone. Has anyone's OCD skyrocketed after an abusive relationship and/or after having children? I've always had some version of OCD but two years ago in February of 2022, I experienced this really horrible bout of DPDR. I lost my sense of self, I was having really strange spiritual thoughts or existential thoughts. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. I'm still recovering from that. But my OCD jumps around. Today, I was worried I was having a brain aneurysm because of a mild headache and because I'm prescribed Lexapro for my depression/anxiety and a low dose of adderall for my adhd. I've been on these meds for a while with no issues but I am now getting thoughts like," maybe I'll have a stroke or an aneurysm from my meds." With no reason to think so. And then I spend hours googling. The health anxiety and death anxiety are fueled by a fear of my kids being without a mother (I'm a single mother.) in some ways, the fear has helped me to make healthier choices but these thoughts of death and the million things that can cause it are taking away from the joy of living. The DPDR seemed to kick this off. Does it ever get better? I exercise, meditate, pray, talk therapy, I just want to feel like "me" again.

i don’t even feel human right now honestly, like i feel NOTHING. ugh my mind comes up w doubts that completely go against what I want and who I want to be. and my values. it feels so real too and i’m so afraid because of how real it feels bro. i feel like there’s no coming back from this. i’m genuinely becoming evil. i really didn’t want to be like this bro. i just wanna be normal

my harm ice started off w just the thought/urdge that i would kill anyone. don’t know why who when where it was just that random feeling that stressed me out. now i just get the random waves of evil feeling. it’s not even like a thought it’s like the obsession is that evil feeling of being cold hearted and acting on these things. is that still ocd?? or am i actually having like personality issues of being normal me then evil?

Does anyone’s mind every try to justify why their intrusive thoughts are not immoral? My OCD revolves around sexual taboo themes and my mind is always trying to come up with reasons for why certain things are not inherently immoral. I’m thinking this is a sort of mental compulsion? I try to remind myself that even if nothing in this world can be labeled as inherently immoral, it is still wrong according to my morals and move on with my day.

Hi, do you have any tips on how to resist searching answers online? I spend so much time watching reels, reading other experiences trying to understand if I can relate ecc... I want to stop, it's not helping me or giving me a definitive answer, but it's difficult to resist.

When i posted saying it feels like i want to harm kids when i dont.its not acting on my thoughts it just my brain tellibg me i want to do stuff when i dont.i dont know if this is a compulsion since its not part of my thoughts?

Can ocd make me think i want to act on them when i dont pls respond

I have always had a naturally high hair line that wasnt straight and leaned towards a slight M shape but the last few months i think its gotten worse. I am 19 and desperately do not want to lose hair. I constantly am looking in the mirror, feeling my temples, researching and obsessing over my hair and i dont know what to do. It may seem vain but hair is very important to me, and i dont think id care as much when i am older to lose it but i am so young and am worried about finding a wife and being in a small minority for having hairloss this young. My grandfather on my mothers side is almost 80 and still has decent amount of hair, my hairline is also similar to his and photos from when he was my age show a high hairline, however my father is bald and started to recede in late 20s. This may seem trivial to most but it is taking over my life and is all i can think about, and the kicker is is that if i am balding, stress will make it worse, so i then stress about that too. There are two medications that do well against hairloss, minoxidal (topical) and finasteride (oral). Minoxidal supports regrowth and finasteride supports the halting of futher balding. Finasteride is notorious for sexual and mental health side effects since it stops the conversion of testosterone to DHT, another androgen that deals with these side effects and hair loss. I am constantly debating taking it or not taking it but i have read horror stories about the medication and dont want to (literally) ruin my life (you can read up on it if youd like). Help or advice would be much appreciated.