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Maybe triggering to some So today I had a new flair of new thoughts and it made me question if I don't actually fear entering a relationship because of these thoughts. Bear with me a bit of my story I came out of a very toxic relationship of 6 years one of which I had even gotten engaged. Yet in that relationship I was belittled, cheated and ignored where it seemed my needs were never important, fast-forward after the break up! I had tried many other relationships but I had this ever lingering fear of "what if I get hurt again?" and "what if I'm not enough and fail her again?" The worst part is that after I broke up I usually ran away at the first perceived flaw on a person that would "hurt me" so kinda of a perfectionism applied to a relationship? Could this be ROCD or could it be I'm just deeply traumatized? I don't know I might talk to my therapist next week about this. Along with these thoughts I had others like "you don't/can't get a girlfriend so you are gay" and it drives me NUTS because I'm literally disgusted by the idea of being with a man lol, other thoughts include "Oh you don't need a girlfriend because you have your friends" and it gives me anxiety because I really want a girlfriend and honestly I love my friends but they do not replace a romantic partner. I hope someone understands

Hi everyone! I’m not sure if anyone has had any issues with sleep and anxiety but these past couple of weeks I’ve been suffering with anxiety when trying to sleep. My mind will latch on to the idea that I won’t sleep and I’ll continuously try to fall asleep and end up psychoanalyzing everything im doing . Usually I end up freaking out and not sleeping and waking up with maybe >2 hrs a sleep a night and have an awful day the next day. I’m lowkey hopeless in this situation, I’ve tried melatonin, sleeping early, limited screen time and nothing will work.. does anyone have any tips and tricks on what to do?

I’m sure this is a long shot, but does anyone else here with scrupulosity really struggle with 1 Samuel and how Saul sins and God totally cuts him off and stops answering him, etc. but David sins and God never leaves him the way he leaves Saul? If anyone else has wrestled with this too, I mean truly wrestled with this, I’d love to hear your thoughts or please share any resources with me that you have. I know this is so specific though it’s unlikely.

my job causes a lot of anxiety because I feel very trapped. if anyone doesn’t mind commenting, interaction really helps. I find it easier to distract myself with conversation rather than trying to internalize it. Thanks everyone.

Can meds help for a thoughts to get less stuck? Or not be in my mind 24/7? Maybe more easy to let go of them?

I’ve been struggling so much with contamination ocd especially when having to go/do anything that involves a bathroom.I feel like every time I use the bathroom I need to take a shower. And that’s exactly what I do. But before I get into the shower I use Lysol to wipe down EVERYTHING the toilet seat,the hand flush, the door nob, and the ground. I wipe everything down at-least 3 times sometimes more. Then after cleaning and wiping everything down i immediately have to hop into the shower. I am fearful that pee or something touches me. I only allow myself to use the bathroom once in the morning and shower right after. I’ve noticed this has also started to affect my eating habits as I try to avoid eating/drinking anything to avoid using the toilet. I also have a hard time using the bathroom after anyone else has used it. If i notice a drop of water on the ground my mind immediately goes to ITS PEEE ITS PEE and I panic. This is long sorry but I’ve been struggling and also haven’t officially been diagnosed with ocd since I have no insurance and am #broke but I am working towards getting an appointment. Has anyone else struggled with this? And has it gotten any better?? :,)

My ocd always has a little truth and is always around grey area issues. Like i could be a bad person its like 50 50. Then im like well nobody got hurt so its more like 70 30. But never does it get to 100. Anyone else noticed this too?

Im so anxious that I can barely function anymore I dont even know why,I was just laying in my bed and randomly I got anxious I think it may be caused by that I havent been stimming in a while but my mind is telling me that its because something bad is going to happen in a moment like a war or something like that

so like a couple days, i’ve been having heart palpitations and every time I eat and drink my left side is like a heartburn a little bit, but since I got sick, I started still having heart palpitations random thump… like it will be thump small thump then heart beating..it will be like happening 3 times or then later for an hour it will happen i keep having them and i’m so scared… i keep googling symptoms like “what if i have thyroid disease or if i have heart disease or heart rhythm issues” every time I take a deep breath it’s hard like I feel like I’m not getting enough like air even though I’m breathing but it’s so hard. I’m so scared. i had a horrible panic attack eariler today… i can breathe it’s just it’s such uncomfortable feeling… i keep thinking something is wrong with my heart or if it’s not anxiety even if I try to calm down, it still happens. i’m even so scared to go to the doctor it keeps happening and i want it to stop

I just feel exhausted everyday trying to fight off these intrusive thoughts. It has ruined any enjoyment in my life. I feel like I can't go on with this hanging over my head. Trying to be positive, but it's hard when you have all this junk in your head. I just need some relief. Any advice? Or if you feel the same way let me know how you cope. Thanks

When I have an intrusive thought that I’m stuck on my brain tells me that the only way to get rid of the thought is to do compulsion. All day I’m sitting with the urge to do compulsion and it’s terrible (when I do the compulsion it’s comes back in the end and I feel even worse) . Im stuck on the thought even if I’m not anxious. Is that possible to be stuck on intrusive thoughts without anxiety? The thought is all the day every second and it’s scary and won’t go away until I do compulsion. It’s so hard cause I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to have the thought all day but I dont want to do compulsion. The only thing that help to get less stuck on a thought is to be stuck on another like I have to obsess over something. How to “let go” of a thought and be less stuck on her? Can meds help with that?

I'm a 22yrs woman and I suffer from POCD and I learned recently that pedophilia isn't just about getting attracted to children/teens but also getting attracted to the features/characteristics of a child/teen too and I was like HOLY SH*T I always find men with clean shaved beard more attractive! OH NO!! Could l be a pedo?🤮😭 Is that means I'm attracted to teens? and I started searching and ruminating about that and I can't have a clear answer! I thought it was just a preference! like I get attracted to clean shaved men who are Grown up adults in the same age as me early to mid 20s and even/most of the times who older in their 30s! like they're old and seem old to me but just without a beard! and this even my preferences from my teenage era, back when when l was 15, l looked at my classmates who have beards and still find them more handsome without it! like most of the time l couldn't see the hype over beards and liked men in old movies who doesn't have it. and I also thought it was just fashion and a trend thing! like men in black and white movies or even in the 90s most of them were without beards! and they were grown adults in 20s and 30s and even 40s and older! I mean like the bridgeton mens? Mr.Darcy? Lord Guildford Dudley from lady Jane? Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99? Henry Cavill? Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock? All of them are clean shaved and Do they look like they're under 20 in any circumstances??! they're just look more fresh and they glow up. And this is this trend on TikTok of a filter who removes mens' beards and they're overacting like I look like a child! I'm a toddler! I'm like 14 yrs old again! and when someone says that no they're handsome without the beard the comments eat them up and tell them that they're pedo and into kids! like no! a beard doesn't make that much change! you could look younger of course but not that young, you know what I mean? and to be honest yes there is something a little wrong with the filter it's not realistic and after observation l think because it removes the roots of the hair too, you know what I mean? so they could kinda look like they can't grow a beard like childs but it just because it's a filter it's more like they're putting foundation over it but them without beards over all doesn't look like they're in highschool or childs in most of the videos and if you ignore the part of the unrealisticty of the filter. and I even sometimes like men with beard and find it attractive but just prefer clean shaved! but my mind tells me they're pedo who are attracted to both adults and kids and see you. look like you could be one of them, you just say you have OCD but I think You're attracted to teenagers maybe not kids but I think you're attracted to teenagers! I just hate this stupid mind! like I never thought that beard thing as something like this l swear and they really look like they're adults in clean shaved, that is different from teens who are clean shaved or can't grow a beard! what I find attractive they look like they're adults and ARE adults l even check to see their age. IS there something wrong with me? Do I have a problem? Is it normal to find men with clean shaved attractive? 😭

I want to live life and do things I know I like because I want to, but right now it feels like I’m living life to prove my OCD fear wrong. I notice I get happy when I expose myself to a situation and have the “correct feelings” I know I would feel regardless of OCD. But instantly, my mood is lifted because not only am I doing something that makes me happy BUT I also reassured myself I proved my OCD wrong. See? I knew I would feel this way and because I feel this way my OCD theme is not true! Reassurance is a compulsion, and I don’t want feelings or good things to be associated with proving OCD wrong.

my rocd is causing intrusive thoughts on the lines of "what if I like this guy and im attracted to him and i dont like my partner and ive mentally checked out of the relationship" and with other people too, but this one guy is a minor!! at least I'm under the impression that he is from what I've been told. I am freaking out. it's such a hard day and on top of all of it i can't stop thinking about if me and my parents are at a point where we need to breakup or if we are going to be okay. Everything feels like it's crumbling down and im stuck at work doing mark downs, no distractions. Just these awful gut feelings that make me believe I just need to isolate and not be around anyone for their sake.

* A specific thought I’m afraid to say my intrusive thoughts without a voice. Like say the intrusive thoughts by moving my lips/tongue , and smile after. For example- im afraid to curse someone, but without the voice just move my lips. And there are more thoughts not only curses. I don’t know what to do I’m scared to even be around my family cause what if I’m going to do that. I’m so scared to go out with this thought. Cause I’m going to see people and animals outside and I’m going to do that. This is scary because my thoughts are even more worse then the cursing one I’m ashamed to even say it. And why now I feel urge in my lips? Ugh I hate this.

There's something seriously wrong with me. And I myself don't understand it anymore.

* A specific thought I’m afraid to say my intrusive thoughts without a voice. Like say the intrusive thoughts by moving my lips/tongue , and smile after. For example- im afraid to curse someone, but without the voice just move my lips. And there are more thoughts not only curses. I don’t know what to do I’m scared to even be around my family cause what if I’m going to do that. I’m so scared to go out with this thought. Cause I’m going to see people and animals outside and I’m going to do that. This is scary because my thoughts are even more worse then the cursing one I’m ashamed to even say it. And why now I feel urge in my lips? Ugh I hate this.

Hi everyone, Im posting this because I’m feeling quite deflated after a bit of a spike with my OCD. I’ve had several themes, one of them being around my relationship. I’ve been with my partner for nearly 7 years. We’re in a very strong relationship and have been through a lot with my mental health. He’s been an absolute saint throughout the whole journey and I could never thank him enough. I had a very severe obsession about me being unfaithful/having feelings for someone else. It was about a male friend from work who I was pretty close with, he was really a lovely guy and was there for me through a lot of other life things that were going on at the time. We used to go on a lot of work nights out, I didn’t have the best relationship with alcohol, and it was definitely a coping mechanism during the tough life circumstances at the time. There was one night where this friend stroked my leg in the taxi on the way home and I didn’t stop him. fast forward 2 years later, I remembered this said event, which I’d obviously forgotten about and it spiralled out of control. I made myself very ill. It was before I knew I had OCD, or even knew what OCD actually was. The compulsions were horrendous - confessing again and again, checking memories, convincing myself things happened when they didn’t. I convinced myself that I had feelings for him. It was a very hard time. After a long recovery and seeking help/medication, I overcame this theme. However occasionally there are small triggers. Such as recently, we have been watching a TV show where the main character has an affair. It has brought all of those feelings back. I just feel totally devastated and ashamed. Of all the themes I’ve had, of harm and even POCD. This one hits me the hardest. I think it’s because I love my partner so much and the thought of losing him breaks my heart. I’m truly holding out that this will be just a blip, and will surpass. But I can’t help feeling that these triggers are going to come for the rest of my life and the thought of having to deal with feeling like I don’t deserve my relationship every so often is terrifying. I’m so sorry for such a depressing (and long) post. I just needed a place to express these feelings as it would be very hard for someone without OCD to understand. Any advice for these feelings would be very appreciated 💕

I’ve had sexual thoughts that get so bad I used to cry daily. Today I tried to sit down and let the thoughts be there and I didn’t really feel anxiety? Does this mean I acted on the thoughts or I wanted the thoughts? There was a specific event like two days ago that I’ve been constantly having anxiety about because after the event I started getting sexual images and then I wondered if I actually did that. For the past two days life has been so bad. Today I woke up and I replayed the events step by step and I couldn’t find when I could’ve acted on the thoughts, so that gave me relief. Then I tried sitting with the thoughts, and the thoughts that once made me cry and feel so bad didn’t really feel like anything. Am I in denial? Just yesterday I was thinking the worst and that I couldn’t handle any of this anymore. I know replying events is a bad thing too but I needed to know for sure if I acted on my thoughts. My thoughts are so bad and the thing is if I did act on them I’d never be able to forgive myself. I notice in the moment I didn’t really feel anxiety like I did but I got so much anxiety the day after everything happened and then I wondered if I did something bad. Can someone please help?

Ex and I split 5 years ago, have a child together so remained completely platonic and friendly and done stuff as a 3. Zero feelings or attraction. Now I have a new partner and he has a new partner my anxiety has latched onto 'what if you still love him' and will give me thoughts of us being intimate which honestly are not appealing. Not even kissing. It feels awful like I'm mentally cheating even though I don't want him. He wanted me for years after and I turned him down so why is OCD triggered now. I'm distressed.