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the NOCD Community

I gave up caffeine to help w my anxiety/panic attacks, and it’s been great so far. However, I loooove the taste of coffee so I occasionally treat myself to a decaf latte or even like a quarter cup of coffee (like maybe 3oz just a couple sips). However, MY ANXIETY GOES THROUGH THE ROOF???? 😭😭😩 Is this me being a hypochondriac and it’s just placebo??? I’m barely drinking any caffeine.

Could I see a therapist at NOCD and also see a psychiatrist?

There are plenty of natural SSRIs out there. What they do is prevent the healthy neural pathways your brain creates (truly healthy, especially for ocd), being made redundant and then being reabsorbed to make room for other transmitters created by cortisol for example. When you eat food that increases seratonin production, you need to tell your brain that you want it. The way you do that is in what you do, and what you do right now, not what you're thinking about doing later. It tells your body that these neural pathways are relevant and needed. For example, if you take 100g of protein a day and want to gain muscle, you don't sit on your ass watching TV and video games. Your body will just get the message that it's not needed and then you'll have gigantic protein poops. 1. Eat food that boosts seratonin 2. Eat foods that have natural SSRIs for seratonin receptor longevity 3. Do things that communicate with your body that promotes seratonin stimulation. Simple AF, go do it! 😊 Love you guys ❤️

Hi there. I’ve recently joined NOCD and wanted to ask: does anyone have a sort of mental contamination fear, such as believing that interacting with people will “infect” oneself in a psychological manner? Just wanted to reach out and ask if this is an experience others had. Also looking to share experiences with others. Thanks.

I’m 21M and i believe i’ve had ocd for a lot of my life. I started researching ocd when i was either 16 or 17 because my intrusive thoughts were starting to get really loud and wouldn’t leave me alone. And they are still loud but never louder than before. I never talked to anybody about this until i brought it up to my fiance a month ago because my stress level was at an all time high. I don’t think she really understands because i haven’t went into detail about all my thoughts. Just bits and pieces of it. Anyways, i’ve been stressing about my past intrusive thoughts. I’m concerned on why i wasn’t as stressed as i am today. I was still stressed and had anxiety but i’m guessing i handled it better then. Today though, i’m stressing constantly. Like i never knew this app existed, i never watched videos on this condition or there were different subtypes until now, or i think i didn’t know. I remember back then i would research and research about this and have mental rituals but that was it. Like i wasn’t so stressed back then. Now, i just feel like i’m sick all the time. I’m just scared that my past intrusive thoughts were my true desires. I know they ain’t but how can i tell my brain that? I just wished i would have known more about this back then. I absolutely hate this and i don’t wish this on anybody

Over the years I’ve had vertigo a few times. The most recent couple times have been debilitating. Like I can’t even get up and walk, my head is completely spinning, I get hot and nauseous and have even vomited. I pretty much have to put my head down with my eyes closed until it passes, then I have to basically lay down the rest of the day or for a few hours before I’m back to normal. I don’t know why I was having vertigo before, and I haven’t had it in probably a year or so, but I’m always afraid it’s going to happen in certain scenarios. At work with clients or sometimes while I’m driving. My anxiety then kicks in, which makes me feel a little lightheaded or weird, which I’m then monitoring for vertigo, and the cycle continues until I’m out of the situation. I’ve never had vertigo during these times and even if I did, I know I could handle it. But it’s so annoying! I feel like this is somewhat related to my OCD and it’s definitely related to my anxiety. Anyone dealt with anything similar?

TW// self ha rm this is a lot so sorry in advance have been very depressed recently, OCD is kicking my a**. I have been thinking negatively and about not being here in this world pretty intensely. I’ve also just been crying and sometimes hurting myself in a fit of rage. i have been very aggressive to the people i care about, family like mom and grandma or my pets (not being gentle when picking up or holding and or yelling/screaming(this only happened yesterday)… i have felt really bad about this as this is not okay and unfair to the people around me especially my cats because they don’t understand and I wouldn’t want someone being rough with me and or yelling/screaming for not a reasonable reason. my cats are fine and they want to be around me but i still feel so bad. I cried and hugged them and apologized . But i feel it is not enough . also i just feel upset at everyone around me who has failed me but i have become so mean and nasty i just hate this. i cry for so long i dont want to be like this im just so stressed and upset but i have been trying to calm down and if I feel like an outburst is coming i try to direct it somewhere healthier as of rn. im just sad and also i have to go on a trip soon i planned it for myself but i dont wanna cancel i just feel like i ruin everything. ive been diagnosed with so much like borderline, major depression, adhd, histrionic disorder like wtf i feel so not normal and I’m just upset.

My OCD’s been relatively in check as of late, but I’ve been having some major fears surrounding driving in the last several weeks. Unfortunately, those fears crescendoed this past Sunday when I was driving my best friend and girlfriend from Los Angeles to Oceanside (2 ish hours) for a birthday party. On the drive up, OCD struck and it struck hard. I was racked with fear I’d make a mistake, the wheel would give out, I’d swerve off the road with two people I love riding shotgun, you get the picture… Obviously, my entire body and nervous system was racked with fear and because I didn’t want to frighten my friend of partner [and didn’t want reassurance] I stayed quiet. So, while I started to unwittingly compulse (tapping the brakes, intermittently long-blinking, etc), I caught the early warning signs of OCD pretty quickly and began using my ERP tools to sit with my fears/thoughts and push past them — Acknowledge them and let them go. It was really tough, I wanted to pull over and give up several times, but I kept going. I used ERP for two FULL hours and I got us to Oceanside (needless to say in one safe, extremely safe piece). Even better, I’m happy to report that the drive back was night and day better. A little OCD and anxiety, but MINOR compared to the drive there. ERP worked and it worked FAST. Was it hard? Of course. Did I want to give up? Yes. Did I tell my OCD who’s boss? Hell yeah I did!! I’m really proud of myself and I hope other folks reading this take it as a reminder of just how amazing Exposure and Response Prevention can be. After all, the more we sit with our fears, the closer we grow to our truths… What’s a win you had last week in your OCD journey? I’d love to know!

I’m a 20 yr old female, I think I’ve always had ocd but the symptoms didn’t become apparent to me until I was about 17. I feel like that’s where life went downhill for me. OCD attacks everything that is important to me, my sexuality, my morals, even my health. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again and not have this vicious disease in my head constantly bullying me. But I know I will overcome it one day.

Hello! It has been well documented that OCD can manifest itself in the form of religious rituals. There is a fine line between genuine piety and OCD. For those of you who have struggled or are still struggling with this, have you sought the guidance of a religious figure in addition to a therapist? Meaning, that you attend therapy with a therapist who works with you on ERP exercises, but also have a rabbi, priest, or imam who you use for guidance in determining what is actual piety versus behavior that is OCD?

I frequently feel the need to test myself with sexual scenarios with a guy jn my class, im jn a relationship and i keep testing if I find him hot attractive or whatever and i have many crisis about it likw i pray to god to not make me attracted to X person, sometimes I avoid going to school i avoid looking at him I skip periods and truly yall idk what to do anymore. Can someone give me suggestions? I'm scared I don't wanna be attracted to anyone else besides my boyfriend i don't wanna cheat on him I don't wanna do anything I just wanna live a quiet happy life with him . I'm worried I know the truth and just don't wanna accept it jm super worried I need suggestions pls

My ocd has been flaring up lately I’ve noticed some things that I don’t know if it’s ocd or something else whenever I seen someone like drugged or sick or just not “normal” I feel like or get scared that’s gonna end up being me? Does that make sense or then after a few minutes I feel like I’m them I don’t know exactly how to explain it I feel like I’m gonna start acting crazy or like I act weird or like them ? Idk exactly how to explain it and I have such a drop in my stomach thinking of it because it makes me feel insane, I haven’t had such an ocd episode so it’s getting hard again and making me feel insane specially because I don’t know how to explain this that I feel, I feel so scared rn can someone please comment on this?

I’ve come to a point in my life where I can be very happy. I have a safe environment, a loving community. Yknow I’ve really healed through or moved on from a traumatic past and as I say to my boyfriend from time to time like a broken record: I feel like nowadays the only thing bringing me stress or at times misery is myself. I am a fairly joyful person, when I’m comfortable I’m very goofy and like to sing dance and have fun. I find that I relate to so many amazing people I meet that are the nicest, most fun, elevating individuals, who also struggle with the hardest sometime debilitating things. It truly sucks because when I find those moments of peace I see the power of what an ocd mind could be as a person. We are people who may over analyze, but I myself also always find the good in people. And aye if in a moment I don’t think anything is doomly wrong and if I don’t try to understand it I may parish 😅 then that moment feels like the best one in the world. But on the other side of that when I’m not in a quiet mind moment and I’m left with myself to take control of what life in front of me looks like in or around me. I almost have been crumbling. Like I said at the beginning of this story here, the life around me is not so situationally stressful. And it’s also fairly simple. My boyfriend and I live together in a small cozy trailer with our two cats, he works full time very hard and I work part time where I spend as much time as I can working and then have a few days around the house. We’re saving for a home and are quite content with our lifestyle at the moment with work and being “lazy”, or resting and going out for fun now an then on our time off together. Most times though I do have day or two off during the week by myself, which usually goes one of only two ways. Like I said before I do like to work hard, especially now that I have a part time job that’s fairly easier than others I’ve had in the past. So I work 6-7 hours then drive home, air up my tires and wash my car sometimes because I like doing something after work while I still have energy.Or I go to the store. Come home make food, prolly nap and not really worry about too much because I’ve worked all day. But on my days off. I find myself waking up with a lot of anxiety. I usually fight it off by going back to sleep. But my OCD is heavily circled around shame. Even though I only sleep in till 10-11, 12-1 at the latest. I find myself thinking about how wrong (in nice terms) it is to do that. And the funny thing is the older I get (I’m a 21F). I’m not as pressured by this thought, even though it’s still stressful it literally just feels like a thought I can’t escape from. To put things in simple terms. I truly psycho analyze my actions breath by breath and my intrusive thoughts are critiquing those actions bit by bit. I’ve recently have started medication and it was a tremendous difference in the beginning and it helped me cope with the acceptance and letting go (f it or just care less) of those thoughts. But let’s say I forget to take it, or I wake up one morning by myself all day and I’m super tired or unmotivated. That day will feel truly debilitated. And now I’m definitely to the point where I’m battling that, but also have a thin vale behind that where I now know what is going on. And the thoughts are shameful for “not trying to get better or be better” Because I do Like I write a lot, and it truly is one of the best coping mechanisms for working through intrusive or obsessive compulsions. I could also write all day, and if I don’t listen to that ease of the anxiety from writing. And try to keep going the writing will turn into a compulsion itself I feel like I should not stop or critique it as well. But luckily I’ll hopefully find my place in explaining the cycle of what I do when my brain is very loud about things. The next time it’s too loud:)

Does anyone have advice on distinguishing between real event ocd and false memory ocd? If my current obsession is whether this intrusive image in my head is a real memory even though there’s no evidence it is, does that seem more like real event ocd or false memory? I feel like I’m getting into a trap of worrying that I’m obsessing over a real event instead of a false image and keep having thoughts that say “you know you did this” even though I really don’t think I did.

Does anyone who has OCD NOT TAKE MEDS? Is it possible to not take them and manage life in a way that is productive. (Not really sure what word to use here but I think you all get the idea)

i’m a new user on this app, I downloaded it just cause I was curious, I don’t really know if I have OCD. Because in school all I learned about OCD is things being out of place and having it to be perfect almost like perfectionism, but I’ve just recently realized there’s a whole kind of different types of OCD, some things I struggle with daily is a fear of bad things happening or almost like an impending doom of when is it gonna happen? I’m always in my head thinking feels like I’m having multiple conversations at once. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like I’m having a conversation with myself. I have horrendous anxiety about everything and anything talking to people being around people. It just feels like it consumes my everyday life and I don’t know what to do. I can’t clearly remember anything from my childhood and some things I feel like I may be imagining I just don’t really feel like a person. I’m always thinking the worst in my relationship over analyzing and stressing out thinking of scenarios or thinking, my boyfriend‘s cheating on me. It almost all feels out of my control.

Sometimes people with OCD find that it has an impact on their self-esteem. In what ways has OCD impacted your self-esteem?

So I have cheated on tests and exams before, and I just now have started feeling guilty about it because of my OCD flare ups among everything else in my life. I also have really bad relationship ocd that I may cheat or may have cheated in the past (I didn’t) and so having these thoughts that I cheat in school makes me feel like a really bad person. I didn’t feel bad about it until now, because I know that it’s wrong. I still can’t shake the feeling of guilt and I feel like I should confess to my professors.

Okay. So, for those who have seen my previous posts, you are probably well versed in what I have been going through, but I feel like venting again. 😅 So, my brother came home from the hospital (because of SI), and I'm extremely on edge from that. Bro has the F*CKING AUDACITY to mock me when I'm in pain, sigh, cry, or laugh. When he used to do that, he would smack/punch/kick/etc. me, and I got in trouble with DCFS for hitting back (1 1/2 years ago), so now I can't have kids until I'm 21 (I'll be 18 in 9 days), otherwise, they'll be taken away. I cannot laugh, joke (I'm the queen of dad jokes), cry, TALK in a silly voice, sing (my main stress relief, even if it's excruciating), or anything along the lines of expressing myself without him becoming "triggered" because it's a "boundary." I AIN'T DOING SH*T TO HIM. I MOSTLY STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND GET SNAPPED AT FOR TALKING TO >OUR< PARENTS. I don't want to go home at the end of the day, to be honest. I'm soo f*cking DONE with all this BULLSH*T!!! I overheard my dad telling my mom that he thinks my brother and I are just "faking" and "attention seeking." HOW THE F*CK DO YOU FAKE A SEIZURE??? OR MY LEG RANDOMLY CONVULSING. I DON'T F*CKING WANT BRUISES EVERYWHERE! I DON'T WANT TO FALL DOWN THE F*CKING >>STAIRS<<!!!! So then my OCD goes into overdrive, telling me that I'm not in pain, that I am faking everything, that there is nothing wrong with me, and to stop lying. That the memories of falling down the stairs are just fake and lies, even though I have the bruises to prove it. I don't get dizzy, I don't stumble, and I don't see stars when I CLEARLY AM. I'm so TIRED. My anxiety is going INSANE, so of course my BPD mood swings have to as well, so that's just f*cking PERFECT!! Absof*ckinglutely PERFECT. I'm tired of my body not working properly, I HATE my body. I HATE my personality because of how insanely unpredictable it causes me to be. I HATE how helpless I feel. I just want to make my family happy. I want them to love me. I don't want to be a burden anymore. 💔😢