Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Idk what to do

3 years ago I got a job that was fully remote. Pay was great, but it took a few months for my life to change. Without getting into too many details I thought I was a full blown schizophrenic that cried in the fetal position every night. As a 27 year old young man who thought I was tough as nails, this crippled me. Learned more about OCD and did some therapy sessions on here. Sessions were great and I highly recommend. However, the exposure and response treatment they recommend is really all you need. It all boils down to facing your fears. No amount of supplements (I spent thousands on them) will get the job done. I said fuck this and just started doing everything I dreaded. Even sat in my own head and let the intrusive thoughts play out on purpose. Harm ocd and psychosis ocd was my main issue. Still is, but whenever I get any intrusive thoughts, I purposely think of something worse and say “top that” (it sucks I know, but it has helped me). I got a new job to where I’m fully back onsite and around people daily. I make it a non negotiable to move everyday even if it’s skipping lunch to take a walk. ALSO… and this is huge. I stopped drinking and smoking and put a huge focus on exercise and nutrition. (Still casual drinks with friends every other weekend, but only light beer. No shots no hard liquor. The socializing is good for me) Dr. Paul saldino and Dr. Chris Palmer are my go to for getting on track. Focus on protein and healthy fats and limit the carbs / processed oils. It’s simple everyone. Face your fears, move around as much as possible, and fuel up and real food. (Cars need gas, not soda). OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s way worse than anyone unaware can imagine. BUT….. recovering is the best feeling possible.

I am 23 weeks into 10 mg citalopram and I have random urges to accept myself as ace / aro whenever I view r/asexuality like warmth and pulls but when I think about men I have throat burns. Last night, I asked AI about this and it it said it was self acceptance and my feelings for men were self acceptance and my feelings for men were me forcing attraction or something and I cried then I repeated to myself I am ace / aro all night and I felt calm or my urges built up so it must be true. What would an OCD therapist say

I feel like I really need help right now. I keep reminiscing on my old relationship and comparing it to my current one. For context, within my old relationship I had been with him for a pretty awful year and 3 months. Within the first 3 months I realized that I didn't actually want to be with him, but I felt sorry for him. So, I stupidly started self sabotaging the relationship. I know that it was stupid, and I tried to break up with him but every time I felt bad. His mental health was already bad and I hate any possibility that I can make someone's mental health worse. That whole "relationship" was so toxic on both ends though. All of that alone has me so messed up. But with that I also had this false attraction to him. Like, I would always be figuring out what I wanted in a relationship and tried to do that with him despite knowing that I didn't actually want to be with him. Now my mind keeps trying to convince me that I'm doing that with my current relationship. I know that I'm not. This one feels genuine and it's pretty healthy. We have our bumps, but we both have this want to fix it and it's just so nice. I hate that my brain is trying to ruin this for me.

im posting a lot about it, i was online dating with one peson whocwas 13(14 in a week) and i was 15, they knew that, we talked about lots of stuff and for some reason after we broke up i was scared i was grooming there without any intention. so when we got contact again because i contacted them again my ocd like kinda forced me i need to tell them that i am 14 too, just to like fix it or be safe or whatever, and after i told them that i also asked if i groomed them or if they felt groomed also as a compulsion and i added like i think "i know it's one year but" like im already expecting an aswer which was 'no'. and im scared this wws some sort of manipulation and i know i shouldn't ask for reassurance but i feel like i need it i just need to know if it was some sort of sexual assault. i didn't lied about my age to use them I didn't even want to lie but i felt i need to or else they'll tell somebody i abused them even tho i know that either way no matter if i lied or noy they'd say I didn't and they also don't even remember me anymore but im so terrified i did all because of ocd I didn't want to lie or manipulate i know it wqs wrong but just tell me was that abusive

hi so i was friends for like 3 years with a girl two years younger than me, when i was 16 she was 14. but we didn't feel the age gap at all and i mostly felt like she's more 'mature'than me so we got along, she was pretty mean to ne thought all our friendship. she was texting with on girl like she was 18 or whatever? and she was rlly weird towards her and we were bpth making fun of thst girl calling her a groomer cuz she was acting this way. but im scared because I didn't do anythin about it sure i told her she's weird and she should stop texting her but it was more jokingly so she didn't listen probably, we could never talk normally like no jokingly. we were dating at some point tho when i was 15(age of consent in my country) she was 13 and yeah we were jokingly like flirting and also i guess sexual jokes or sharing nsfw art..was that illegal or something? i never tried to hurt anyone and all our friendship was online and mostly jokingly cuz we never could be serious about eachother cuz she was pretty rude. i asked her if i groomed her or whatever and she said smth like i can't even groom anyone since im 15 or whatever and that I didn't but still i asked her to like delete conversations out of ocd compulsion or whatever and she did was annoyed tho that im being paranoid again. we don't have contact now, i brooe it cuz she was pretyy toxic but did i groom her? ik grooming is a form of manipulation and i didn't manipulate her at all but yeah

I recently posted somewhere in response to manifesting that it does work, but doesn't work for people with ocd due to their mindset. I think they referenced the book The Secret. I'm currently reading it and can quite safely confirm it's 95% bs 🙄 only reason I'm reading it is because it makes me feel less delusional than the author. I've manifested before when I was symptom free, but not like they say in this book. It's dumb. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out there for those with magical thinking themes 😬

Today I became conflicted with the thought of watching porn occasionally being unacceptable! I'm a single father, no spouse, fwb's or anything like that. I occasionally watch it after being abstinence, stressed or just can't relax. Some genuine insight on the situation would be greatly appreciated! I've been single and abstaining for 5+ years now. I've went months, weeks and occasionally multiple days without. Does that classify me as pervert, sick or anything negative

Hi everyone I'm 18 and recently discovered i have soocd. I remember having random thoughts about men and it would make me feel uncomfortable and have bad panic attacks. Sometimes I would have to leave class bc these thoughts was messing with my head. And sometimes I would avoid men bc of this. I remember having a sex dream about one of my guy classmate and when ever I seen him I would have hatred for him. These thoughts keep on repeating over and over in my head to the point where I don't reaction to it. I don't if I'm slowly realizing im actually into men, but I still have this weird gut feeling in my stomach when I think about it. I really don't wanna lose my identity as lesbian.

I know this is a super weird question, and maybe it’s not an OCD subtype…but maybe there are other people on here that won’t think I’m nuts! 🙃 I am terrified of getting pregnant. I have actually been that way since a young child, and have LOTS of rituals I am working to stop around it. Is there a specific type of OCD that is? Thank you in advance!

I came home from a trip today to find mold growing out of every vent in my apartment. This has been an intrusive thought of mine for a long time (i.e. everything is infected, spores in my possessions, spores in the air) and I feel like this has just confirmed everything I thought to be true. I’ve been reading statistics about mold to try to calm down (how common it is to have an issue with mold in vents and how low the chances are of illness from it) but I don’t know how to stop thinking about it being everywhere. Any advice?

Im worried i have a cancer lump in my chest, i cant tell if it's a lump or just fatty tissue im so worried

i’m not trying to ask for reassurance but is this ocd? I’ve had religious OCD Harlow city and pure OCD before and I’m still going through it but basically today I was putting on lipgloss and it got into my mouth and it was like a overwhelming flavor. It tasted gross and then I choked on my spit and I have a sore throat right now, but I choked on my spit and ever since that it feels like there’s so much saliva in my mouth and it feels like hard to like catch my breath like the feeling you get when you’re like, gasping for air after choking that’s kinda how I’m feeling without like the gasping part but it just feels like I’m like swallowing on command and I’ve had like breathing fixation before so I don’t know if this is just like fixating on my swallowing but it’s bothering me and I don’t know if it’s cause I have a sore throat but yeah basically kind of feels like I’m drowning like inside my mouth like there’s just like so much saliva in my mouth and like I have to swallow like every second and I just feel like I can’t breathe when I swallow for some reason kinda

hi im a fifteen year old girl with really bad ocd and emetaphobia nobody knows my fear except for my best friend and my sister. its so hard to even say the word or even type the word so i just say “sick” even typing this out makes my heart race and my hands sweaty. ive been really struggling with ocd for almost a year its gotten worst about every month. its always on my mind. i have a therapist but i cant even tell them about my anxiety and thoughts that go on in my head. my whole family is watching me fall deeper and deeper into this dark whole that i dont know how to get out of. its feels awful to see everyone around you watch you fail over and over again. please forgive me if this was graphic thank you

I am not sure if this is something that’s specific to ocd, but the ocd definitely has something to do with it if it’s not an ocd thing. Every emotion I feel (more specifically sadness, disappointment, etc.) feels like it’s amplified by 100000x. Any little thought that even makes me slightly let down literally makes me feel so upset to where I just want to lay in bed all day because I’m so bummed out. Here’s a recent example of this. This sounds so stupid I know but I recently went to a concert for a band that I have a lot of nostalgia tied to. I knew I would have a good time at the concert but i literally was in awe the entire time by all the emotion i felt and how good the concert, singing, performance and everything was. They even came so close to us and were singing there for about 20 minutes like within 20 feet of me (and I’m pretty sure one of them saw me but i might be delusional). in the moment i was literally just thinking like wow in this moment were here together like they could be anywhere in the world right now and here they are within 20 feet of my face. The point is I haven’t been able to stop with this hyper fixation on them and I can’t even look at my concert videos and looking at other peoples makes me so jealous and sad for some reason yet I can’t stop watching videos of them because it’s makes me so sad/so happy at the same time. I know people might say this is just post concert depression but this has gone way beyond that but this is typical for me to feel it this deeply like sick to my stomach. that’s a common thing for me where my hyper fixations sometimes make me sad where I just don’t wanna do anything except lay down and stare at the wall. this is very hard to explain and I hope it makes sense. This also could be a part of my depression but I’m not sure. Anyways please respond if you relate/have answers and sorry this is so long and wordy!💓

I don't know if it's necessarily ocd related, but does anyone else get super obsessive over the orders they purchase? For example I admittedly impulsively got a cheap refurbished ipad, iPad pen and a case. (All together it was like 120 some dollars, like you can't tell me you wouldn't impulsively do that too.) Anyway, everytime I get something online I always end up religiously checking where it's at. Sometimes multiple times throughout the day despite knowing that it likely is still in the same place. It's been really bad with the iPad though for multiple reasons. First of all, this is one of the first devices I've gotten with my own money. Second of all, the pen and case came in before the actual iPad so I'm getting impatient. 🥲 My mom has this issue too so I'm pretty sure it's some weird genetic.

Today was a very difficuly day. I went into a big city with my friends and I lost traction of how many times I had a triggering episode with triggers. One was undeniable and disgusting. I think it's over.

This is about OCD but also I just want to rant, I feel very lonely at times. My dad died when I was very young & as the oldest daughter I feel like I’ve had to be strong my entire life. My friends & family love and support me but for some reason I’ve never felt comfortable being vulnerable or discussing my feelings. Everyone tells me I’m the person they go to for advice/support but I have never once opened up to anyone, it almost feels impossible to do so. I mask so well that none of my friends or family know I struggle. No one has ever seen me cry. Also, as a college student with a small group of friends who go out of state, I don’t have many friends in my area so that contributes to feeling isolated. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, & ADHD. As long as I can remember I’ve felt like a bad person and undeserving of love unless i prove myself by being good or useful. I try to keep myself working, volunteering & double majoring in school to feel worthy of love. I genuinely do love life & am so thankful because I feel very blessed. I have good friends & family. But I also feel isolated. (Ik I isolate myself but at the same time I don’t know how to stop). Anyways back in December I broke up with my bf who I had dated for yearsss. He really violated my trust & cheated on me after making me feel crazy for so long & swearing he would never betray me again. It hurt deeply. But ofc I handled it the only way I know how. By being strong. I self isolated. I didn’t tell any of my friends for weeks that we broke up and when I did, I didn’t tell them why (to preserve his image). No one saw how badly it hurt me. To everyone else I seemed fine. I started coping with it in embarrassing ways. I had casual sex with multiple people very quickly that clearly only wanted that from me & didn’t care about me as a person. I am ashamed of this. I’ve stopped meeting new people and decided that’s not the way I want to be and I want to put my energy into healthy outlets. But sometimes in moments of weakness I have had relations with past people (wanting to feel loved & desired & wanted). Anyways my recent theme of OCD has been health + morality related, specifically the fear that I have an STD. I started having some bodily sensations (that i’ve had in the past & aren’t STD related) and started worrying that I may have an STD. When I get health anxiety, I sometimes avoid doctors. I did that for about a month but finally scheduled an appt for Monday. But now the guilt is eating at me and saying “what if you had an STD this whole time & knowingly gave it to others bc you avoided doctors?” That causes me a lot of guilt & shame. I know this is OCD so I’m trying not to ask for reassurance. Sorry that was so long, this is the first time I’ve ranted in a very long time. I just want someone to see me.

I would like to raise awareness for an OCD subtype that is almost never talked about and is not included in the official OCD subtypes. This subtype includes obsessions about: 1. Thinking that something is wrong with your brain 2. Being convinced that you have forgotten how to think 3. Being convinced and paranoid that you have lost your inner voice 4. Being extremely afraid that you have lost the ability to feel 5. Being hyperaware of every thought, tracing it back to see how it occurred 6. Being convinced that something is wrong with you when something doesn’t go the way you expected it 7. Thinking that you are not thinking about it in the right way when trying to think your way out of it Compulsions include: 1. Mentally trying to figure it out 2. Trying to prove to your self that nothing is wrong with you 3. Putting your life at a stop until you figure it out 4. Excessive googling, using chat bots, reddit, researching, reading books & trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle I am sure there are other people who relate to this. This subtype isn’t mentioned anywhere and it’s really confusing for those experiencing it. Please, if you feel or think in a similar way like this post and reply in order to raise awareness.

I have false memory ocd and harm ocd and I’ve really lost it this time, I read an article about a girl going missing in my city and I convinced myself I had something to do with it and don’t remember cause I had 1 drink a month ago in the pub with my gf. The girl herself commented saying she wasn’t missing and I became obsessed with checking her page to make sure she was ok, I then blocked her to stop myself getting in the spiral of checking but in a moment of panic I unblocked her and I saw that she liked a video about being blocked so now I think that was in response to me. My gf told keeps telling me I did nothing wrong that night and it’s just my ocd again and I’d remember if anyhting bad happened cause I only had one drink and that girl doesn’t know me so it’s just a coincidence that she liked a video about blocking but I worry about it all day everyday, I just can’t stop checking or trying to find a way to ‘prove’ nothing happened, the more I check the worse it gets, I’ll going to lose my gf if this keeps up, I know she’s getting tired of my ocd, pls help