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Were you able to overcome OCD without ERP?

My ex and I broke up a little bit ago. I always struggled with ROCD and it really destroyed us. At first, we decided we were just single, hanging out here and there and we could still do what we wanted. When he realized that I was not necessarily being flirty, but more careless at work and around people, he was very upset and told me not to do that. A couple days later he had texted me goodnight per usual, and I said I missed him, and then he unexpectedly blocked me on everything. So I went about my next few days, wondering about other guys, talking with people at work, I mean, really just allowing myself to get the kind of “attention” I couldn’t get it while dating someone. The problem is, I’m scared that these feelings will ruin any chance I have him getting back with him.. but people have told me I’m allowed to question things/think about other guys. Now I’m just worried because there’s certain guys that I’ve thought about recently a lot, and even though I never ever date them, I’m concerned. My ex unblocked me to send me an essay about how I don’t care as much as he does, he’s the only one actually trying, etc. (even though he blocked me, now somehow it feels my fault?) And even though it’s absolutely false, I feel like I can’t plead my case if I’ve been thinking about other people or even feeling “crush” feelings. Again, these are people I wouldn’t date, and I do miss my ex. I’m just trapped. I don’t want to be rude and not respond because he really poured his heart out to me.. but nothing I say can fix this right now. Any advice? Edit: I also feel like at work I was kinda using the story of his essay to get attention. I feel horrible. I have seriously zero idea what to do (edited)

Following up from the last post about how I let insecurity, anxiety, and immaturity take over me as a person and how it led to a toxic relationship. I’ve been doing more reflecting while trying not to let myself ruminate so much that I spiral out of control. Everyday, a memory or a behavior I did replays in my head and it’s very uncomfortable to face these realizations like demons you tried to neutralize. I’m not going to let myself be in a romantic/committed relationship in a long time, not until I learn how to contain myself and get my mental instability controlled so the toxic patterns don’t overshadow me. I am almost 20 and should know better by now. How has OCD affected your relationships/friendships in a negative way and how do you deal with trying to stabilize your emotions in front of them?

I thought I was getting much better at handling my OCD, moving quicker from spirals and practicing the internal affirmation that “it’s just my OCD” and “this is not real” or “this intrusive thought did not actually happen, it’s just my OCD making it feel urgent and real”. But then I realize that I am still mentally compulsing, just differently now. I’ll still seek a way to justify that intrusive thought being what it is, but I find myself still disproving the intrusive thought by mentally reviewing what that scenario would have been anyway, to “prove innocence” or prove that it’s not real. This itself is a compulsion.. I apparently haven’t really let the thought go or been able to sit with it and proceed with my day. So now my mental compulsions have just kind of adjusted instead, but it’s still compulsing! Is anyone going through this or experiencing this back and forth? Thank you. Appreciate this community.

i use flo to track my cycle and this past period i was a day late. it automatically triggered me into thinking i was pregnant even though ive never had sex. i’ve never had intercourse with my boyfriend but i was still stressed about if sperm somehow got into me. i replayed the last time i saw my boyfriend before i got my period and there’s no possibility that i am pregnant. the day i was late i ended up getting it, and i just ended it yesterday. i know the facts, and i know im not pregnant but my mind is telling me “what if i am and im having pregnancy complications and bleeding and it’s not really my period” i don’t know why im thinking like this but its stressing me out. im hoping i just forget about it.

How do you guys manage guilt? I did something weird that doesn’t align with my values during an ocd spiral this year. My friends and family forgave me and weren’t even mad about it saying it wasn’t a big deal but I feel sick to my stomach with guilt and can’t let it go. I constantly stress out if I’m a good person or not. I guess my question is how do you guys deal with mistakes or times when yr ocd obsessions weren’t aligned with your core values

Is it possible to have ERP and talk therapy at the same time? Basically I self referred for therapy (I’m in the UK) and it was decided that I 100% have OCD and I’d receive CBT therapy however I’ve only had one and a half sessions with the therapist and she told me that my OCD is severe, she has no idea why the person assessing me referred me to CBT and that it won’t help, and so subsequently she’s decided to escalate my care and refer me for ERP therapy, which is great news and I’m very happy that it’s being taken seriously which brings me to my now issue which is It’s been 6 weeks since I was started on a new SSRI for OCD which is not helping at all, if anything I feel worse. My OCD isn’t worse just my mood, I have been so unbelievably depressed that functioning is hard. This is the third SSRI I’ve been put on and none of them help with my low moods, I’m still very tearful, have mood swings, I’m depressed and can then have quite high moods which makes me think I have more than just depression/anxiety and OCD. So now I’m a at a bit of a loss as I know SSRI’s are usually the medication used to treat OCD but they clearly don’t work for me and I have underlying issues that I think I might need talk therapy to deal with and unpack but is that possible to have alongside ERP?

It feels so hard. Ever since the first kiss, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about attraction. Since that first kiss, I’ve also had this feeling of resistance or aversion before kissing, which has made me question everything even more. And every time I read or hear people say that you can love someone as a friend but not romantically, it triggers me so much. It makes me overthink even more and leaves me terrified that I might be lying to myself , that maybe I only see him as a friend and not as a romantic partner.

So yesterday i decided to try and run for the first time. Around my building of course. And I wanted to track how fast my heartbeat was going and it was going around 148bpm just for one round around the building I was sprinting so that could be a factor. Came inside and I was short of breath so I went outside and I decided to kneel down in front of my sunflowers mind you it’s really hot outside and I just ran so my body is recovering I stood up quickly and my blood pressure dropped and my vision went dark and my body felt like I was going to fall. But thankfully I didn’t and I was ruminating about this for three hours cause in the moment I’m like my heart just failed let me check my blood pressure to make sure that I’m okay and I’ve been like this and asking mom to see if this is a heart condition and she doesn’t acknowledge this feeling and didn’t want me to constantly check my blood pressure 🙄🙄 this is hard tbh.

I feel like im sure its all true and not ocd. I just want this to end I dont want to be bad but i feel like i like it

I'd like some help with this OCD giant if you don't mind. I am a 26-year-old male with a history of OCD, particularly around morality, attraction, identity, and what thoughts or reactions mean about me as a person. For about a year before this current episode, I had largely gotten past several similar OCD spirals. In those situations, my OCD would latch onto intrusive thoughts, brief perceptions, or questions about attraction and then demand certainty about what they meant. While those episodes were very distressing at the time, I was eventually able to move on from them and function normally for roughly a year. My current obsession started after a very brief mental event. I was extremely tired, rubbing my eyes, and not thinking about anything sexual. A memory/image of a teen actor from a show I liked as a kid that i recently rewatched suddenly flashed into my mind even though I had not watched the show in months. And my brain immediately tagged it as attraction (the actress was 16 at the time of the show and thats what appeared in my mind) The event happened extremely fast. Almost immediately afterward, my brain began questioning whether I had found the image attractive before consciously realizing or if my OCD just tagged it as a threat because it appeared so out of the blue Since then, I have spent weeks analyzing the moment. The main fear is: “If I had any attraction response, even for a split second before context fully registered, does that mean I am secretly attracted to minors or that this reveals something terrible about me?” The obsession keeps returning to the idea that: * The first automatic reaction is the “real” one. * Anything I think after context arrives may be rationalization. * If I had a positive reaction before realizing the person’s age, then that reaction is what truly defines me. At the same time, another part of me recognizes: * The image appeared randomly. * I was exhausted at the time. * The event was extremely brief and unclear. * OCD often latches onto random thoughts and treats them as threats. * Once age/context entered my awareness, my reaction was immediately negative and I did not want the thought. The current obsession has become less about the original flash itself and more about what that flash supposedly means about my character. Questions I repeatedly analyze include: * Was it a random face flash followed by an OCD alarm? * Was there attraction before context? * Does context changing my reaction matter? * If someone initially thinks a person looks attractive and later learns they are underage, is trying to justify that just cope? * Does an automatic perception define who someone really is? * Am I a bad person if a split-second reaction occurred before I knew the person’s age?

Very tired of the thoughts, still waiting for official diagnosis from psychiatrist

Hi, I am new here and didnt realise there were so many forms of OCD. I have had OCD for many years andvhad CBT a few years ago which didnt really change anything. My main obsessions are checking doors to the point I regularly break handles, constant checking of taps and electrical switches. It takes up large chunks of my day and I obviously want it gone. What OCD is this please and any advice on helping with it would be appreciated.

Heya all! This is my first time posting in this forum. I hope people will be patient and understanding with my condition because I know it might sound annoying or people might not understand it but for those who do, please try to help me get through this. Basically, I’m in a long distance relationship and in the beginning it was decent though he wasn’t my first choice in the beginning (mostly because I felt afraid of online people coming into my life and hurting me) but I gave it a try anyway. I was really excited in the beginning as I felt like someone finally truly loved me and he’s an amazing guy and it’s my first ever relationship (because I was sheltered most of my life and put in private schools). I never had a first kiss, or anything intimate at all and I’m 19 which makes me sad already because long distance makes it difficult to even meet because he lives in a different country. We’ve been together for 1 1/2 years and my has it been difficult. After months passed after the beginning and we shared core bonding moments. But then, I started to notice that I couldn’t stand him for no reason and I would go around and around (even to this day) worrying about not loving him and that I want someone else to love. I hate the distance, I hate the fact that people have it easier, it makes me extremely upset with my own self. Because I’m 19 then I started to feel FOMO and my friends and other people are telling me to break up with him because I should live more of a life my age and not be tied down WHICH MAKES THE ROCD WORSE😭😭😭 I start feeling hatred, disgust and resentment over my partner for literally no reason. It makes me panic constantly because my brain tells me I don’t love him which makes me panic and other people confirm which makes me panic twice more. And don’t get me started on when an anxious episode starts I start scrolling the internet for answers for HOURS on whether I love him and it’s driving me absolutely crazy. To top it all off, I have parents that are completely against the relationship because it’s online and they believe that it’s all a scam, he’s an organ seller, he’s going to cheat on me, steal from me, and all these people keep filling my head with problems that make me feel like breaking up. But then I get defensive when people say to break up because I think deep down I don’t really want it to end but when I don’t end it I started feeling miserable and “trapped” in the situation because he can’t see me due to visa issues, I’m not allowed to see him due to my mom telling me she’s going to evict me if I did and it’s absolutely horrible. No one supports us really that much it’s usually 50/50. My mom makes me feel like the relationship is wrong at all times and restricts from doing anything and mentally tortures me day and night. At the end of the day I feel…suicidal. My relationship makes me anxious Where I live makes me anxious My friends make me anxious. Everything does… And it hurts so much like I just feel like I can’t do it much longer and no one cares to help. Me and my boyfriend have been supporting each other for the longest and he really is kind to me all the time I actually don’t know why I feel like I’m lying saying that but he is always kind to me and never judges. I live in a manipulative household and had a trauma bond with my mother for years so anything she disapproves makes my brain warn me to stay away though there’s nothing wrong. I was afraid of going outside until last year because she said it was dangerous and she severely scared me into not going anywhere all my life so I could never find help but I’m happy that I have a chance to find some now. I don’t know why I get triggered by everything my boyfriend does and getting triggered makes me anxious that I don’t love him and then I feel stuck in the relationship and I start thinking like maybe I should break up and find other guys near me but that makes me anxious too because this person has been there for me through thick and thin and I feel horrible and I think deep down I don’t really want a different guy I just want the suffering to stop because I wouldn’t spend day and night ruminating over not loving him and not feeling right in the relationship day and night. It’s just like too much and idk what to do. I just want to see him honestly but even my heart started losing hope there too and I’m afraid that I can’t continue this relationship which makes me anxious of course again. But then breaking up I get scared and don’t want either because we have such a close relationship. Also another annoying thing I hate is when my ROCD and my perfectionist ocd have a fucking collab and are just like “let’s pick on every single part of his personality to justify why we should break up with him” I’ll start picking on little things like the fact he’s from a different country, his looks, his family, long distance, everything they all get thrown against me to justify my leaving. And please don’t be angry it’s not personal but I’m actually so sick of people who have it easy. Who can choose what they want for themselves without being anxious. Who can wake up every morning to their significant other and be with them, kiss them, feel them, Fuck them, everything. The people who have all their friends and family cheering them and the relationship on and I’ve been nothing but kind to people in life and this is what I get. For life to spit it all in my face. Sometimes I think maybe I should consider an open relationship with him to feel more comfortable but I know he would feel uncomfortable and jealous and heartbroken and I would too. I would feel horrible and seeing him talking to other girls would give me a heart attack. Like this really isn’t fair… I want the relationship but I don’t and it’s so confusing? And one slight change of tone in someone’s wording to this comment that could sound like break up is going to set me in another anxious loop. Even if his tone changes I get scared that he might be upset with me, he’s leaving me, he’s abandoning me etc. it just never ends. Then I’m sad that I don’t have the spark in this relationship like I used to before but that’s primarily because none of my relationships were actually relationships first of all they were hot and cold crushes that used me for things like sexting and then blocked me…It was hard to trust people online after that ngl. People irl sucked just as well because I would constantly chase them only for them to ignore me. And I had a crush on someone who had no romantic interest or even similar hobbies to me whatsoever. People say the chase is what kept me going and that’s it an anxious loop which is probably true but at the same time I think to myself I didn’t really like chasing them. But I guess the anxious adrenaline you get from chasing a hot and cold person feels thrilling but it’s really anxiety. ALSO Another thing that is too much not only are people unsupportive but I have no group of friends to hang out with or anything. I feel like if I did things would be so much better. But I can’t even have that…I’m just in my room all day talking to my boyfriend all day, playing games, going for walks in my neighborhood and eating. That’s it. A lifestyle to literally commit suicide over how dull it is😭😭😭 Can’t get a job either because no one hires me and I’m not sure why probably because there are so many applicants and I just finished high school last year June. But please answer if you understand this because i have to build trust to open up more which is hard for me but please I beg if you can please reach out to me. I really need it. Thank you so much for your time 🙏🙏🙏

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 6 months and have a super strong connection (lesbians iykyk). We met the first week of our freshman year of college and now it’s summer before sophomore year. I am absolutely in love with it her and she is my favorite person in the world. I feel so safe around her and feel like I can tell her anything. She also has OCD, but a different flavor than mine. My OCD presents as being scared of abandonment and that people are lying to me, and magical thinking surrounding that. Hers is related to some past traumas and is very much about her being a good person and making the right choices for her. We both want guarantees in life and can’t ever get them, and we work through it together. We know not to reassure each other and to approach a fear or worry with the attitude of “everything will be ok even if we don’t know the future”. This makes our relationship even stronger and I believe we grow closer because of it. It’s still hard though and life isn’t easy living with OCD. She is working at a summer camp almost all summer and I’ve been able to see her on the weekends which has been really nice. Working at camp is the best option for her because of her mental health and family situation, so even though I miss her a ton I know it’s the right choice for her. Her best friend since high school also works at the camp and will get there soon, but I just feel really jealous and worried about it. Mostly because my girlfriend and her best friend used to have feelings for each other. I know my girlfriend doesn’t feel the way she used to about her friend, but I’m scared she will. I’m scared she will realize she still loves her friend romantically and it will ruin everything. With her OCD, she isn’t really sure of feelings sometimes so I’m afraid she will have something in her that still likes her friend. For some reason I just can’t handle the idea of that. Maybe because I’m afraid of being abandoned or that I’m not loved as much as someone else. I hate that I feel this way and I don’t want to feel these jealous feelings. My girlfriend and I are very open and honest, so we talked about it and she understands and listens, but doesn’t reassure which is good but hard. She loves her friend so much and is so happy around her, but what if my girlfriend loves her more than me? We build our relationship off of trust and I know she would never do it but what if she cheats? They are so close and sleep in the same bed When they have sleepovers and stuff which makes me uncomfortable, but I guess I just have to be ok with it. When talking to my girlfriend about it she just says that she understands and that it would hard to feel the feelings, but doesn’t reassure necessarily. She tells me the truth that she doesn’t have feelings but other things that make me uncomfortable aren’t being reassured. That’s just how it goes but I’m still just uncomfortable. I’m about to not see my girlfriend for 3 weeks and she is going to be working with her friend and on the weekends they will be camping. Her friend’s mental health is pretty bad right now so they definitely want to have time to talk and be together, but I’m just afraid something will happen. What if emotions are high and something happens between the two of them? I don’t know how I’d get through it, because to me that’s betrayal. That’s cheating if anything romantic happens. I think I’m talked to my girlfriend about it before but it’s just not an easy thing to ask. Like saying “oh can you not sleep in the same bed as your best friend because that makes me uncomfortable?” It’s not a fair thing to ask necessarily. I guess lm just jealous because she is my favorite person and I don’t get to see her for a few weeks. Her best friend hasn’t seen her in months so I guess it’s fine but I feel like I sound so controlling. I would never really say a lot of this to her because it’s not fair to her but it’s hard dealing with feelings of jealousy and worry. I trust her so much but my brain has doubts and just wants a guarantee.

I’ve had OCD for over 6 years, and I know exactly how it is to live with OCD, I’ve been to therapy and I know exactly how intrusive thoughts are like, they are completely unwanted thoughts, followed with compulsive behaviors. Now I’ve been having a thought (idk if it’s intrusive) for months, it doesn’t feel like my usual intrusive thoughts, I don’t do compulsive behaviors or tics when I have this thought like I usually do, but instead I do comparisons. So the thought is: “I am not attracted to my boyfriend’s body, I do not feel aroused by him”, and then I imagine myself having another boyfriend that is “the perfect one” to see if I feel attraction to them in bed or not, and the answer is yes I feel. Then I repeat the same thought but with my current boyfriend to see if I felt the same feeling, and I do not feel it. Note that I love my boyfriend so much, he is the love of my life and I absolutely adore him, I couldn’t ask for more. But what if I love him but he does not turn me on? Help please

so I joined a chronically ill/neurodivergent support group on discord and someone said they had an "issue" with anxiety and OCD being considered forms of neurodivergence. I didn't speak to the anxiety part but I explained why I believe OCD is absolutely a form of neurodivergence, and she argued that the definition is becoming too broad and when you include too many things then basically "neurotypical people become the minority/basically everyone is neurodivergent." I STRONGLY disagree with this take and to me it seems arbitrary that ADHD is universally considered neurodivergence alongside ASD, but OCD isn't. what are your thoughts?

Hello guys. I’ve had cardiophobia for 2 years. I’m 31 and got so many tests from stress ECG to Echocardiogram and all were clear. I was smoking but stopped two months ago and since my anxiety increased. For the last 4 days, I’m anxious every moment and I’m thinking to go to another doctor even though I know it’s reassurance seeking. Symptoms always change and now I have chest pain. Do you have any advice? I’m living in another country where I couldn’t find any therapist who is successfully treating OCD.

I made a mistake years ago that I later corrected, but I’m now stuck in intense guilt and self-hatred. Two people witnessed it, and chatgpt says it's my OCD telling me this means I can never succeed because they could expose or blackmail me in the future. I feel a strong urge to confess, explain myself, analyse what the mistake says about my character, with chatgpt cause I'm too ashamed to discuss in therspy, and get certainty that I’m not a bad person. How can I respond to this as an OCD episode without using confession or reassurance as a compulsion?

Does anyone else struggle to enjoy good moments because they’re constantly worried about what a physical symptom could mean, or because they have a gut feeling that the partner isn’t right for them, but they keep trying to ignore it?