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the NOCD Community

just had my first session yesterday,, it was kind of funny and surprising to hear how many aspects of my everyday life are actually ocd rituals or ocd symptoms,, i feel like i have such a super long way to go xP ꉂ૮(°□°'˶)ა

Hi everyone. I really struggle with health anxiety / OCD and I’m having a hard time right now. I have some very mild and intermittent numbness in my cheek that I saw my doctor for. He told me he wasn’t very worried about it but wants to get an MRI to see what is bothering the nerve. I’m waiting on them to call me to schedule the MRI but my mind is racing. That the thing causing it is a tumor / MS and I just don’t know it yet. (I have TMJ in my jaw as well on the same side so the logical part of my mind knows that it’s more likely related to this) I know my doctor told me that HE is not worried and the nerve is probably just irritated but I’m really struggling to stop ruminating that something worse is underlying. I’m really struggling so any advice on how to handle waiting for them to call to schedule the appointment and calming down my mind in the meantime would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 🫶🏻

After a week and half spiral flare up, literally none stop mentally ruminating and spiraling for days it was so distressing, my head feels more clear but I can’t shake the anxiety feeling. Feeling a little shaky and on edge. Do you guys notice that the physical sensations last a little longer after the mental spiral . If this makes sense. It makes me want to worry about the next spiral. I would love to hear any thoughts. Thank you!

this rumination/OCD spiral began just over a month ago. i went out w some past colleagues from my old job, one of which constantly flirts with girls. im aware hes flirty but i have never shut it down when he flirts with me; because im much younger than he is and genuinely feel a power imbalance due to this, he had a higher role in my old job and i lack the strength to shut that behaviour down. this was my biggest mistake, because as the night went on and the drinks were flowing, my guard was down and he was very flirty. again i didnt shut it down and i just sort of crave attention as im an insecure person and thrive off any sort of attention. but once i realised what i was feeding into i was absolutely disgusted in myself, just genuinely disappointed because i have a boyfriend of 2.5 years, who i have never ever wanted to intentionally hurt. after i realised the situation was getting out of hand, i stepped away and felt so sick and filthy. this whole situation was not something i wanted and i was overall just really upset. the following morning i was suffering from very intense hangxiety and fell into a total rabbit hole of reassurance seeking, googling, using chat gpt, anything to try and make myself feel better. i even messaged the guy and set my boundaries that the flirting needed to stop, and even chose to seperate myself from him. but even then, i could not stop replaying every single little interaction ive ever had with this him. for example when he would stare at me when i first started working at my old job, then the work christmas party where he flirted with every girl and even touched some innapropriately. then the time i caught up and had a big drinking night with the same group only a few months prior to this incident when he admitted he found me attractive and i just didn’t understand why. but i told him yes, hes attractive but i have a boyfriend and im clearly not interested. my mind would ruminate on every single little detail, and try to gain 1000% certainty. every single scenario just upset me more and more and i could not stop ruminating, confessing things to my partner, reassurance seeking, etc. now hes appeared in my mind every single day, sometimes all day, and im just genuinely distraught. i feel like a fraud in my relationship, and a failure. ive told my boyfriend everything, and he knows of my ocd. yes, he was disappointed, but i know in my heart my boyfriend is the one i want and this other guy genuinely means nothing to me. but still, because he’s become a root trigger of ocd, everything i do somehow feeds into the thought of him. whether it’s a song, a word i hear someone say, literally anything my brain can attach or associate with him, it will. it’s draining me because i know how i really feel but it’s just the anxiety and distress i feel constantly that eats me up. i go to therapy now, but struggle to understand how on earth ERP will help me here. im also prescribed sertraline (zoloft) but have been on this medication for 8 years and i fear i am almost becoming immune to the effects? im not too sure. thank you for reading this.

i took three paxil pills a month ago and was essentially mentally locked out of my own brain. im on sertraline, trazodone, and propranolol now. i found out what pssd was last week and have been losing sleep and in a deep obsession. im almost certain i have it. i have all the mental issues. im absolutely scared to death every single day that this is my new reality.

After a sort of “relationship” break up I had many days and nights freaking out about hurting this person’s feelings and them hurting mine and being regretful ect. then i was just remembering any and every little thing that made me a bad person and then pocd related stuff started poking my brain until one night like a week later i had a full blown meltdown thinking I was a p and its never been the same since. I’ve been down so many spirals since and initially i had no clue about pocd but i found out about it after researching p and p thoughts for hours. Worst weeks of my life, i don’t think it gave me a chance to even fully process the “breakup”. Then, he came back in contact with me after a while and I wanted to stay and fix everything with him and at least be his friend and find comfort with him but I couldn’t because I was then dealing with the horrific thoughts and couldn’t bare the thought of him knowing (also lowky we were doomed from the start anyways) I felt like id confess everything to him and his view on me would just be so horrific. And i felt like such a freak who had to stay away from relationships or friendships who needs to stay isolated. Also he is quite a bit older than me and theres this other reason im also left wondering if HE is a weirdo, but then im thinking im just projecting because im scared and think IM a fking weirdo. The fact I feel i can never go back to him without this being associated with him in my mind is heartbreaking for me. sometimes i feel bitter towards him because he kinda triggered it but ik its not his fault, we were just two lonely people who found comfort in each other :/ it kinda hurts knowing rn i could still be dealing with regular teen yearning and despair instead of straight horror and despair. I miss when just having social anxiety and no friends in college was my biggest issue im leaving out lots of details but the two situations are so interconnected and caused such a huge part in my (what i hope is really) ocd id just feel so sad if ill have to get over him or hate him at some point I dont want to, i want to believe he was really genuine and im the one who messed up what was between us. Because initially i was just a lonely girl in a really bad place looking for attention and he was my reason i wanted to change and get better. I want to go back to him but without any memory of this </3 but hes the one who kinda triggered it and i could never tell him my thoughts or experiences that caused this ☹️ i dont want to think he was just another creep and actually liked me because if he is then i wouldve gone through so much suffering in my own brain for nothing. walking around feeling like a horrific monster and possibly gaining a lifetime chronic mental disorder just for it to turn out i was just another naive young girl to him. I cant 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CANT everything hurts please

i live with my grandmother and recently told her that i’m being treated for ocd in therapy (and now officially diagnosed after i told her), and she asked me what my intrusive thoughts were about. i got really scared and said i didn’t want to talk about it, even though i do want to vent it out since my therapist is the only one who knows about them. and while she accepted my answer then, i can tell that she does really want to know what they are so she can help me (i think), but i’m scared of having to explain what pocd is to her since she is a little slow to understanding mental health things of any nature, and the stigma for pocd is already overwhelming from people online and whatnot so i’m scared of what she’ll say in response. so basically i’m just asking for advice on how/if i should tell her about it.

I just moved to LA yesterday which is where the girl that I have feelings for lives. (To clarify I moved to LA for different reasons but she does live here. )For a backstory, I got so many hints that she had feelings for me as well last year (summer 2025) when I saw her a few times. My mom and aunt thought the same when they were around us. I saw her in December 2025 and she seemed quite sadand burdened. I was also in my denial of ocd phase at that point so I would try to act as happy as possible even when terrified, which I now realize isn’t helpful to people going through a hard time. She didn’t seem as happy as she did in the summer. She seemed a bit more nervous around me as well I told her I had feelings for her a few weeks later and she responded saying that she had heart tending to do. I know from background that she had a very traumatic upbringing. I really hate that. I hate that she has had so much to go through. It honestly makes me so sad. I saw her again today, and this time I brought up that I had OCD as I have been doing around a lot of people over the last few months because I have been afraid to say it so it is an exposure for me to tell people. Her mom was there too and said she knows someone who might have it, so I told her I would send my resources through the girls phone number so she can share it with her mom because I already had the girl’s phone number. So it does bring me a decent amount of peace to know that I was technically able to share my crisis resources with her, but I can tell that she seems nervous to see me since December (including before I told her I had feelings for her). I know to give her space, and I am doing that (we are family friends so I see her periodically still). I went back to their shop because I had to get something and she didn’t make conversation this evening, and I took that as a sign to not make conversation myself in order to not stress her, and I left pretty quickly. I just really hate that she has had to go through so much growing up, and I can tell that something is up and I can’t do anything about it, because I sense that my presence stresses her out. Like I said, I know the default response to this is to give her space and respect her boundaries. I know that and I am doing that. I am just venting on here because the situation really sucks all around because I can’t help her as much as I want to (and I mean help as in a being of support way. I do not mean in a “fixing” way). The other thing is that I am moved now, so I have lost the excuse that I had to not date in my hometown of I am moving soon so I don’t want to get into a relationship. Now that I am moved I have no reasonable excuse to not date someone else, but I know if I did date someone else and the girl I have strong feelings for told me that she had feelings for me, I would break up with whoever I was dating at the time to be with this girl, and that is not fair to anyone else who I date. I guess in a nutshell, this is just a very rough situation all around and I am just venting on here I guess. And for some positive news of the day, my mental condition is staying more stable than I thought I would moving 1500 miles away.

For me OCD feels like a gut punch, kinda like a guilt feeling. It can be distressing at times, curious what other people’s experiences have been!

for starters i’m not even diagnosed with ocd. i’m diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd, generalized anxiety disorder — and was told i had emerging borderline personality disorder features. these diagnostic impressions are a mix of what two different psychologists said. one psychologist came from trying to get diagnosed with adhd (bipolar diagnosis); the other psychologist was from when i tried to get diagnosed with autism (ptsd and bpd features). i already knew i likely had ptsd and definitely had anxiety. i found myself relating to bipolar when i was trying to figure out what was “wrong with” me but always felt weird about that label. i suspected i had borderline personality disorder before suspecting that i was autistic and stopped suspecting borderline when i started suspecting autism. none of this is really important im just getting literally everything off my chest in this post. because of the ocd subtypes i have dealt with, i know i have ocd (or im just an awful person) — i just haven’t tried to get diagnosed with it. i didn’t know i had ocd for awhile; i thought i was just a disgusting awful person that should not exist — then i learned about pocd; i was definitely struggling with pocd. i haven’t struggled with that subtype much, if at all, for years at this point but i was never going to talk to a psychologist or anyone about those thoughts especially before i knew about pocd. my most common struggle currently — because i am in a relationship — is rocd. i’m getting stuck on thoughts that he is not the right person, that i am not the right age to be in a monogamous relationship (or any kind of relationship honestly), that i am too young to commit for such a long time, that i have more experiences to have — but that i will have to lose him if i give into these thoughts. i don’t want to lose him but i also want less. i want less having to love someone. i want less commitment. i want less thinking of a future with someone. i want less caring about another person so deeply. i want less emotions over emotions and relationships and everything. everything. i want less of everything. i want less spiraling. i want more fun. i want more freedom. i want stupid noncommittal flirting that actually means nothing to me just makes me feel happy and worth something and entertained. i want my boyfriend, here, with me, when i want him here with me. i want alone time. i want to not be sick of face timing all the time. i want to love him like i used to love him. i want to feel like he loves me like he used to love me. i feel like im going insane and i just can’t stop it. i’m so contradicting and confused and im sad! i’m so sad and i don’t even know why. and ive been having multiple dreams of cheating on him which made me feel weird and i hoped i had not talked in my sleep or anything where he would know but i was not really spiraling out about it. and then i googled having dreams about cheating on your partner and now im spiraling what am i missing from him… im missing a, b, c, d, e, f, g, the whole damn alphabet i could spiral the whole fucking alphabet. how do i address the whole fucking alphabet?!?!? and i fear he can feel the shift and maybe me spiraling about my uncertainty for my love for him is the same thing that’s causing me to spiral about his love for me. and im just so over it and i want it gone. i want the spiral gone. i want it over. i don’t know how to communicate and i feel like im hurting him and i don’t know what i need and i don’t know how to fix anything and im so SAD. and maybe im not hurting him, because why would i assume that when he hasn’t communicated that? but it feels so unfair. so unfair to him to be so sure of me whilst i am spiraling in so many ways and i can’t even tell him that because i feel crazy and i don’t want to lose him over stupid fucking spirals. and i need to shower. i told myself i would.

Hello everyone I am asking the same question again but if anybody could help please do My anxiety really destroyed my life that today I feel stuck Really don’t know what to do Never felt fine leave happy and now i am exhausted. Exhausted to a level that i want to run somewhere and be in nature for sometime. I don’t think i have intrusive thoughts because it’s not unwanted thoughts feelings or urges. Its rumination and I am unsure if intrusive thoughts are more than unwanted thoughts images or urges if not then i don’t have intrusive thoughts. But mental reviewing, or wanting a lot of reassurances Is there. I don’t feel happy. I feel disconnected not part of family groups. They enjoy but I don’t feel connected or enjoy and it was from starting nothing new. I am so tired that I don’t want to get better now. Like I am done. 27 years caused too much exhaustion. My problem is I worry a lot- what if I told something and the person exploited me . So I’ll keep it inside ( I am from different country and different cultural context that’s why I don’t trust people and I am always confused ) plus my sense of judgement or confidence in sense of judgement has been destroyed from childhood its just that i have lived in survival mode all the time. My brain works very slowly now- poor concentration. Whole world is doing something —working earning and I am doing nothing. I don’t want to put a facade now because I have reached a level where I can’t act anymore. I have spent my money on meds Unfortunately no medication worked and saw therapists in my own country so to be honest I can’t afford therapy Through this platform I share my story. Because I have no one to share my story with except 1-2 people. And they understand it I don’t know. I really don’t even know what to do- any job that I am interested in because I am interested in nothing I am completely exhausted and numb.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost four years, and lately my feelings around him have become really confusing. Sometimes I feel happy when I see him, want to be close to him, want to kiss him, laugh and talk with him, or notice that he’s handsome and cute. Other times I feel completely normal, tired, blank, heavy, avoidant, annoyed, or disconnected, and then I immediately start wondering what that means. One thing that confuses me is that sometimes I’ll see him and naturally feel happy, but then the feeling disappears quickly. I might think he’s cute or handsome but not get the strong “AWWW he’s so cute” feeling I remember having before. Sometimes I look at him and feel lucky or think he’s amazing, but then afterward I feel empty and start wondering where the feeling went. change. Sometimes I really want to kiss him or hold his hand, and I’ve even spontaneously kissed him without planning it. Other times he tries to touch me and I don’t want to be touched, especially when I’m tired, annoyed, overstimulated, or in public. His touch can sometimes feel strangely unfamiliar even though we’ve been together for a long time. Sometimes I enjoy his touch and it feels warm, while other times I feel like backing away or think “stop.” Then I start questioning whether I actually like being close to him. I’ve also had moments where I felt “annoyed “with him. For example, he’s joked around with me when I was already irritated, gotten lost or confused, tripped, been in someone’s way, or done something that made it seem like he’s “embarrassing “ but whenever I look back at it , it’s like he’s a small cute guy . I’ve called him annoying or said something mean when I was angry and then felt bad afterward. Sometimes I apologize but don’t feel the amount of emotion I think I should feel. Then my brain asks whether I don’t care about him anymore. We’ve also had normal disagreements. Sometimes we give each other the silent treatment when we’re upset, but later we talk, smile, reconnect, and act normally again. I can be mad at him and still want to be near him.A big part of this has been my thoughts about our future. My brain will suddenly say things like, “Are we even going to last?” or “Maybe I’ll leave him.” Sometimes I’ve deliberately tested what it would feel like to tell my mom that I wanted to leave him, and the scenario became emotionally convincing. Then when something about our future comes up like my mom mentioning senior portraits together or my boyfriend joking about becoming my future family I start questioning whether my reaction was genuine or whether I forced myself to feel happy about it.Sometimes I’ll see something online or hear someone say something like “leave relationships you’ve outgrown,” and my brain immediately asks whether I’ve outgrown my boyfriend. If someone says something about young love or relationships not lasting, my brain can suddenly give me a heavy feeling and make the possibility feel real.I’ve also noticed that when I’m with my boyfriend, sometimes I feel like I’m avoiding him even though I don’t necessarily know why. I’ll get a heavy or doubtful feeling and think, “Why don’t I want to be near him?” Then I’ll later walk with him, talk, laugh, or reconnect and feel differently.There are also moments where I feel completely normal around him. Sometimes he texts me and I don’t feel excited, especially when I’m exhausted. Sometimes I wake up and see his messages and barely react. Other times I get happy when I see him, wonder where he is, want to talk to him, or think about things I want to tell him. I’ve noticed that I keep comparing my reactions to what I think I should feel. I wonder why I’m not excited enough, why I’m not jealous enough, why I don’t automatically think he’s cute, why I don’t feel melted when he touches me, why I can be annoyed with him, or why I don’t feel strongly when he says “I love you. Also I can’t tell if I’m testing or not it just happens and I also feel normal but with heavy feeling

Hi guys I’m new and don’t have an official OCD diagnosis but it’s possible I have health OCD. Today I just feel tired and down and I’m working and I feel really sad. I’m having a hard time not constantly doing mental checks on my body and symptoms and I just want to lay down but I’m afraid to give my brain space cuz I don’t want to spiral. I just am tired. I’m tired of constantly feeling like I’m scared of everything and like I’m a bad wife and like I failed at life because I still don’t feel good after 17 years of therapy. I have a lot of chronic pain today and my head feels like a mild migraine and I almost had an anxiety attack thinking about Christmas and having to travel. That’s all. I see my regular in person therapist today and start NOCD therapy next week so maybe I can work some of it out. I’m scared to get my hopes up about NOCD just because I don’t want to disappoint myself. Being this sad just doesn’t feel like myself and I always worry it’s something worse like psychosis or another disease.

Hello everyone my name is Jessica and I am new to “ NOCD” I struggle with pure O and bad health ocd and Aniexty. Today is really hard. I left work today with really bad upper stomach pain which I know is indigestion but my brain is convincing me it’s something else. I am so scared for the feeling to come back and I am researching a lot. It’s a hard day today.

I wonder if I have ever loved my partner. I don’t feel like I have a deep love for him, even though I objectively know he is a wonderful person—intelligent, funny (though on this point I feel like I’m lying and that he actually isn't), loving, patient, sensitive, and kind. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and about six months in, I started having the first doubts that immediately made me spiral. In my previous relationship, even though it only lasted three months, there were real underlying incompatibilities, and at the same time, I had started having doubts that I later found out were ROCD. So, in my current relationship, as soon as I noticed I was having more or less the same thoughts, I immediately turned to a therapist who then diagnosed me with OCD. I must say that when I enter a relationship, I feel like I almost lose my compass a bit, and that scares me a lot. At the beginning of my relationship, since I got along very well with my partner and we were highly compatible, I was able to enjoy our moments together; every background detail felt special and every moment I spent with him was special, maybe also because it was the first time someone loved me and spoke to me with that kind of kindness. When I received the diagnosis, I was actually quite glad to tell my boyfriend that what was happening to me was a disorder and that I wasn't the problem. Unfortunately, over the months I kept engaging in compulsions, which are often mental and therefore very hard to stop, but I still felt a connection with him and everything was still fine looking back now—we were still very close. Over the months, I confessed several things to him (he knew about my OCD and I had talked to him about it extensively); I often made comparisons between him and a past date, and also with my ex, and clearly, it hurt him a lot. I often behaved toward him in ways that I don't think are right, even though he keeps saying that I never disrespected him and that I’ve always treated him well despite everything. One day I asked him if he felt loved, because at that moment I was focused on whether I felt loved by him, and the answer was no, so I turned the question to him. He told me that when I’m myself he feels loved, whereas when I have OCD, it's like I seem like a completely different person. In all these months, I’ve also suffered from depersonalization many times. I thought I had depression, but based on the clues I gathered from my therapist, apparently that's not the case. She tells me my mood is very low, and I’ve started taking supplements for now. However, for the first few months after I found out about the OCD, things were still good with my boyfriend. Slowly, in my opinion, we grew apart a bit; I started judging myself for every single feeling. Today, I feel like I experience a sense of flatness toward him; we are distant, sometimes I feel like I don't want him at all, and most of the time it’s like that. Maybe I got so immersed in doubts and in judging myself and my feelings that now I don’t even find pleasure in being with him anymore, which is something I used to feel before.It’s clear that after being together for a while, the strong feelings fade, and rationally I understand that. Obviously, I can’t expect to tremble inside every time he touches me like in the beginning, but at the core, maybe I should still find pleasure in being with him. Instead, many times I have to convince myself because maybe I’ve associated being with him with anxiety, fear, feeling wrong, and derealization.I’ve wondered many times if I’m only with him just to have someone, or because he treats me well. I often think he isn't enough, or that I would be better off with people who share my same emotional level. I’m wondering if I really ever loved him, if he is enough for me, if this will ever pass, and if we will maybe return to a new version of us, but closer.The point is that I’m struggling because I feel like I have so many problems, that I’m the one who is wrong, that I hurt him, and that it’s my fault if our relationship isn't going as well as I’d like right now. But it feels like all of this can never change, and I don’t know how to make it change.My therapist also suggested the possibility of taking a break, but I don’t want to. My boyfriend also told me that if I’m not happy, it’s okay to go our separate ways and simply accept that we aren't good together, adding that if he were certain that breaking up was the right choice, he would have done it already because he doesn't want to see me suffer like this.Sometimes I feel like I can’t stand him, like I want to stay away from him; other times I get close to him, but feeling fake. I never understand what my real intentions are.Inside, it feels like I’ve convinced myself that our story will end and that maybe I never loved him. I feel helpless in my situation with him because I often feel overwhelmed and anxious just being near him. I push him away; he irritates me even when he does nothing wrong. And I don’t know if this means 'I am exhausted from the constant anxiety and the continuous checking that I can’t seem to stop,' or if I’m tired of him and have realized that I actually don't care at all and just unconsciously used him for my own purposes. I feel like I'm a bad person. Rationally, I tell myself that if I actually cared, I would feel the desire and the drive to change my behavior toward him, but I just can't do it, and then I think that my motivations are wrong. I also know that I’ve been trying to hold on in this relationship with him and with OCD for a year now, and I can't take it anymore. It's as if I've started seeing him as the threat, and seeing him do things for me out of genuine interest while I fail to appreciate what he does makes me say to myself that I don't care. But then I think that maybe I’m just tired of everything. I can’t change; every time I see him, I internally reject him. I don’t want to kiss him, and I only do it more because he leans in. I would gladly give him lots of little kisses on the cheek or on the head because I like kissing him there. I don’t feel the pleasure of being with him and sharing things anymore—I just don’t feel these things at all, and I don’t know if it’s OCD, real lack of interest, or lack of interest caused by the situation and I don't care about him, or if it’s internal trauma or other mechanisms. Either way, it feels like I can’t resolve them.I can act kind to him, answer him more calmly because he doesn't deserve a harsh response since he always speaks to me kindly and does everything for me, but then I can't maintain that behavior for a long time because irritation sets in, or I notice that I'm not interested.I don’t know if I just need to make a decision and stop dragging out something that isn’t going to change over time.I want to understand how to change. I hear many people say to focus on the partner you want to be, but that doesn't mean love, and besides, I would only do it because I think that if I do, the relationship will bloom again. And I think that way about everything. I see that i’m not spontaneous anymore with him. I probably am never out of my spiral I wish I could experience this relationship just as peacefully as I experience all my other relationships with friends or family members.

Hi all! Im new to the app as my therapist recommended this during my one appointment. I was in a relationship from July 2024 up until end of June 2025. During the break up, I would reach out every month and beg him to make it work. He ended things because I constantly nitpicked and would argue. I don’t know why I was like that because he was not a terrible boyfriend and I did trust him. Sometimes I felt he would give me mixed signals throughout the break up which I would take as hope but then when I would keep trying he would eventually get frustrated and tell me he doesn’t want to get back together. For whatever reason, since he broke up with me I still have hope. I still am fully in love with him and have not lost any feelings. We did see eachother this year in February, where he told me after the movies he didn’t feel strong enough but he didn’t not feel nothing. He then told me that he didn’t want to keep hanging out or talking for the slight chance his feelings would change. He then proceeded to tell me I begged him to hangout and it didn’t work in my favor he doesn’t want to be with me. April came he ended up calling me end of April. Things hit the fan shortly because he was telling me we can hang and see where things go while openly pursuing other women. He met someone else end of April and has been talking and seeing her since. Even though he is seeing someone new and serious with someone else, I still have hope and I thought that would be my closure but it’s not. I constantly find ways to check his social media, I still have hope for us when I probably shouldn’t. I’ve also been blocked on all social media from him since May. It’s like I don’t know what more it’ll take to accept that it’s done, to stop checking up on him, and ruminating on everything and blaming myself.

Hi all I am just wondering if anyone here has any experience managing their ocd effectively without the use of ssri meds? I am just curious to see a life not dependent on medication is possible and still thrive or I am doomed to a life of suffering without meds? I currently am taking zoloft which has been working very well but now my dose I believe is too high and I hate the whole up and down withdrawal process. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Does anyone here have any experience having the gamma knife procedure done for their OCD? If so what was your experience like and how much has it helped you? Thanks in advance.

hi everyone! this is my first time ever posting anything on here and I’m really scared and this is not like a super big feeling for me because I know that I have OCD and I’m trying to tell myself that it’s simply OCD and it is not that big of a deal. But literally, a five second interaction has me upset and feeling like I’m being too flirtatious and I’m cheating on my boyfriend. My cousin’s friend who my cousin is like 40 and his friends like 40, we’re outside and I was coming back in with my laundry, and I had received a compliment from his friend saying my singing was beautiful. I come back with my laundry. I’m holding my laundry bag and I’m like talking to my cousin and I know that the guy is looking at me so I’m looking at my cousin and I’m like smiling and I’m talking in like a sweet voice and I feel like like anyone I want other people to view me as pretty and cute but in a weird way, I feel like my feelings were a little bit different ? and I feel like I was carrying myself in a way where it’s like oh I want you to think I look pretty and I look cute and my mannerisms, I just feel that I look back on a lot of my interactions with people and I’m scared that I’m like being disloyal or being weird and I know I’m not and I know that’s not what’s going on and if somebody thinks I look cute or pretty that’s simply a human thing that everyone wants other people to do but I just get so scared and worried. And I feel like I’m looking out for reassurance for someone to tell me that’s not what’s happening, but I just really need to know like am I being weird to my boyfriend? I care about him so much and this relationship is very fresh and I don’t wanna hurt him. I want a relationship to be built on trust and loyalty and beauty. In the past, I know that I would like attention seek from other people and I feel like now my OCD is using that against me where it’s like I’m constantly in a battle with myself. Please be honest in the comments and just be gentle about your honesty, please

Today I had my first session of ERP so I know I cant make any decision on whether it’s helping me or not. I just was struggling cause the exposure I’m doing doesn’t cause me anxiety even though if I think about it it causes a thought loop spiral and makes me analyze it. It’s like my brain doesn’t compute anxiety anymore. My intrusions barely trigger anxiety anymore it’s more like extreme sadness, annoying, depressing, and defeated feelings I get rather than panic attacks. I used to have full blown panic attacks but now I’ve had these thoughts for so long I’m like “really? Seriously? Can’t you just leave me alone?” And then start to analyze and “figure out” why or how it’s not true. I guess my question is how can you do erp correctly if you’re not anxious by the exposure.