Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’ve been feeling depressed lately, because I’ve gone down a rabbit hole thinking about how it seems like everything is connected or underpinned by something unjust or inhumane. For example, the clothes we wear may have been made by people in unsafe working conditions, the animals we eat may have suffered in cages, the child actors from the shows we watch aren’t always protected and taken care of, and the materials from our phones were produced by oppressed children in the Congo. It just seems like there is something wrong with everything and it’s hard for me to see the good. I feel compli...
Continue reading

Hi all , please comment if you’re experiencing what I’m about to share . I am going through a very tough time with existential fears & very frightening thoughts to a point where the thought of myself sends me into a spiral. I ask myself “am I even existing right now as I’m typing this” “ how do I know that I’m not already dead or in a purgatory “how do I confirm that I even exist” what if I’ve already died and this is what death feels like “ nothing & no one around me feels real , I look at my kids & my husband & question their existence. I’ve also been suffering from severe depersonalisation/derealisation & I don’t know w...
Continue reading

Last week, I had a really bad OCD spiral, where I was convinced that I was in fact paranoid and going "crazy". I ended up going to the ER, and they confirmed that it was in fact my OCD and prescribed me meds. I met with a few psychiatrists and they also confirmed that I have OCD. I started therapy with NOCD on Tuesday, and had a great session, and felt great! And yesterday, I was doing pretty good, where I was able to go into the office, and have a normal work day. I still had those intrusive thoughts regarding paranoia but didn't cause me distress and kind of just pushed them away with ease. This morning, I started hav...
Continue reading

I’ve experienced OCD since I was 11 years old (I am 29 now), and was diagnosed with it in 2021. So, I’ve lived more than half of my life dealing with this disorder in silence. I’ve recently been feeling like I’m no longer a good person. That all of the things I’ve held close to my heart and loved, no longer matter to me. As much as I try to go back to those things, it sometimes feels so foreign and makes me feel anxious. Has anybody else experienced this before? If so, what are some things you’ve done to help you find happiness and joy in the things you’ve cherished?

I absolutely hate and despise school with a living passion. I am 15 going on 16, a sophomore in high school and A LOT of things have caused me to hate despise dislike school. Because of this hatred I do almost anything to get out of it. But today I feel really bad. While most days when my mom lets me stay home I feel relief.. today I don’t. I’m already a habitual truant and failing one of my classes (out of six). Once once upon a time I used to be a A B student and used to do well academically, but when I started high school everything tanked. I fear for my future a lot. I lack belief in myself like most of my peers. Anyw...
Continue reading

Scary intrusive thoughts For the past 8 months I’ve been terrified of developing schizophrenia, I’ve gone through various stages of this theme, like in the beginning I was really afraid of hallucinating and stuff like that but as the months and this obsession progressed I’ve become more afraid of having delusions and the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. In the beginning after watching a demonic horror movie or something I would start getting awful intrusive thoughts like “what if I start to believe my wife is a demon” or “what if I start believing the government is run by satan” or some shit, but now i get thoughts ...
Continue reading

For those who have stepped away from religion, did your OCD and scrupulosity become more manageable? Where you able to stop thinking about spirituality?

The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?

What should you do when OCD stops you from doing the things that you love the most, for instance, before OCD happened I used to be a huge fitness enthousiaste, going to the gym 4 times a week and now I can barely find the energy to do so, it's not the same how I was prior to OCD and I'm so scared that OCD would rob me of my life

so a few months ago i heard about “the lamp” story on reddit. it’s sent me into overdrive since and i’ve been struggling extremely bad since i heard about it. earlier today i was showing my friends my tattoo, i was telling them what it said off memory but they corrected me and said “no it’s says “until being strong is the only choice you have” and i can and have only remembered it said “strength is the only choice you have”. (that is not the full tattoo that is just the part that was mixed up). it instantly brought me back to the lamp story … in the story he saw a lamp was looking “odd” or “warping” and it caused him to wake u...
Continue reading

Not reassurance seeking but is it possible to feel so overwhelmed by your thoughts that you feel like you are going insane 🫠

I've been having issues with being so scared about death that my mind tells me that I should just kill myself to avoid the fear. The thing is, I love life. I don't want to die and I want to see it out to the end, but there have been times where I felt like I could just *do it* because my mind told me it was the calmer route (i.e., if im dead, I dont have to think about the fact that I will die). It really upsets me that these thoughts come into my head so much because I know they're not mine. Even knowing that they're not mine makes me uncomfortable because, if they aren't mine, why do I continue to think the same things?? ...
Continue reading

Is it normal to go numb to thoughts? I’ve been struggling for 3 months with intense fear and all of a sudden I am not anymore. While this may seem like healing, I’m incredibly worried I’m not scared anymore. I know that’s crazy. It’s causing me to be scared that the thoughts are mine because I’m not reacting to them.

I’m getting married in November to the love of my life. I’ve been with him for over 5 years and I’m so excited but I’ve struggle sexual identity over the past and now with the wedding coming up, my intrusive thoughts and the constant theme of identity keep showing up in my head. From what I wear to how I act, I can’t just enjoy being myself. I know who I am but anytime my SOOCD comes up, it just wipes my identity completely out. I’m trying to ignore it and tell myself I don’t need to label myself as anything but I’m having constant intrusive dreams lately and it’s messing with my daily life

My partner was high and so was I and he just said “is this real like is this really real” and my theme right now is I’m convinced I’m in a dream or not real and this is a false reality or something, I had therapy early today and that helped so much and then I was feeling hopeful that i was gonna get better and the theme was going away and then he said that and I’m spiraling, please help

I feel like I’m going crazy and second guessing everything rn. I keep wondering if I did or said anything racist and I just can’t remember or I did and i didn’t acknowledge it. I feel like people at my school hate me or are ignoring me. I don’t know how to get out of this endless loop of doubting myself. I know I would never do such a thing but I keep second guessing myself. Im starting to believe I’m a terrible person and I don’t know how to prove myself otherwise.

Hi! I have a recurring thought that I need help reasoning about. I'm 21 years old and have been struggling with OCD since I was very young, and it's been worse than ever since I turned 16. Anyway, I'm young now and I don't plan on having children until I'm maybe around 30. Unfortunately, I have a strong fear for the future, what if I can't have children because they might also be affected by OCD? I've experienced most themes, and I wouldn't wish this terrible illness on my worst enemy, so how can I possibly risk my future child having it?

I wonder what it’s like to think normally. I wonder what it’s like to not think so deeply and obsessively over something. I wonder what it’s like to not think so negatively about something you don’t even want to. I wonder what it’s like to not have anxiety over the littlest things

Hi everyone! I really do not mean to seem complaining or strange, or to be a burden, and I really hope my message will not be innappropiate in any way! I am a christian and for a few years/months I have been feeling extremely lonely.. Other than struggling with OCD, I also am struggling with other things that I am a bit afraid to talk about here 🙏🏻 I feel like some people ( in church) are willing to help me, maybe! but they may be unable because they do not know what OCD or some other things are like.. sometimes I am afraid to talk about them... it makes me feel a bit alone I am sorry if this might be a strange or confusing message.. 🙏🏻

i can’t understand how other people don’t constantly think about death. like, it’s final. it’s unavoidable. it’s just the end. no more me. i’m going to die someday and it’s so scary it makes me physically sick. i can’t eat or sleep or leave my house or go a single minute without thinking about it. i can’t even describe the anxiety it causes. my other obsessions don’t even affect me anymore. death is real. that’s the one thing in life that is guaranteed. it’s going to happen. why doesn’t this freak everyone else out?? i’m trying to do exposures for myself. just writing these things down. it’s so difficult. if any one has any e...
Continue reading