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i wake up with bad racing and intrusive thoughts. had a super bad one about hurting my dog and now i’m having a hard time being around her. i’m so sad

So, this evening I was cutting my kids nails and toenails and when it was my son’s turn, i was cutting his toenails and one started bleeding, well I’m like oh my gosh, did I mean to do that and so on. Well in my mind I was like what is that happens again, it did on the second one, mind you his toenails are weird. But I start stressing and think what if I wanted to and thought what if I meant to do it. I just need to ask has this happened to anyone?? I’ve been going through a lot of stress lately. And when I cut my daughter’s nails it was fine.

i’m very unsure if i have OCD and am consistently feeling like i am a bad person or seeking attention for trying to reassure myself that i have it (i am not trying to attention seek it but growing up i was diagnosed with GAD when i was young because i had an existential episode about a poem.. and i have always felt that there was something else going on). when i feel this way i go on long rabbit holes of videos about ocd and have honestly become so conscious of every part of it that i now feel like im experiencing some sort of “meta OCD”. i feel that if i really do have it, its taken over my life and every waking moment is me thinking about it and sending me back on a path. lately i have been also feeling a fear of knives, bugs in my food, bleeding, etc. just want some feedback thats all.

My OCD is at its worst when I drive. I have been struggling with it really bad this week and it’s so disheartening cause I have to drive to work and try to keep it together when I’m screaming inside. I have been in accidents that were my fault and I have been told my whole life that I am a terrible driver. Ever since my last accident 2 years ago I have been terrified every time I hit a bump in the road that I hit something. I keep looking in my rear view mirror. I live in an area with narrow streets, I’m terrified I’m going to hit a mirror or something. On the way to work today I was shaking the whole drive over. I try to drive really slow but I feel like it’s making it worse. I want to stop driving completely and not get my car fixed it’s so bad. I have struggled with ocd about other things but this one has been the hardest to shake. I’m crying in the bathroom cause I discovered a new scratch on the car and I’m racking my brain trying to figure out when it happened. I want to just let it go but it’s sooo hard.

These past couple days, Ive had 2 huge panic attacks in a row. I’m getting worried because they were kind of the worst theyve ever been. I couldn’t function at all and if my partner weren’t with me, I’m afraid I wouldnt have been able to move or get up. I was convulsing and couldnt stop having the worst intrusive thoughts. I was so disappointed in myself that I started having super intense suicidal thoughts and couldn’t speak. I really hate ocd. I ruined some of the most fun days that were planned out in a trip too. Idk what to do anymore

Hey so for almost the past year I’ve had thoughts and fears of hurting a loved one I’m not completely sure if it’s OCD, so I’m here asking for a confirmation or help because I’m 16 and I really wanna find out how I can help this. It usually calms down and starts again. The thoughts usually involve a sibling getting hurt by me. I’m kinda lost on what to do.

Hello I am worried I've been taking fluoxetine for almost 3 weeks now I'm taking 2 pills of 20 mg every 24 hrs But my suicidal thoughts have increased and that's saying too much since death has always scared me Also I've been feeling a bit angry like impulsive I made the mistake of reading some people that has committed murder while taking Prozac and idk Maybe it's my ocd but I'm scared and sad I feel bad and alone I'm not sure if I should keep taking the medicine They say things get better with time but I'm not sure

Does it ever piss you off that other people can just think normally and not get triggered by the smallest things? Like I’m in debate class right now and this girl is practicing her speech and keeps repeating the phrase “then she wouldn’t have been raped and beaten” and I’ve had MAJOR rape ocd issues in the past so it just kinda triggers me and it got me wondering and kinda pissed off about how normal people think you know what I mean??

ROCD, MOCD, HOCD, SOOCD, POCD. The worst ones I'm flitting between right now, is H and P, the ones that feel the worst and are the most sickening. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was doing well and feeling more positive. Today my mind has been trying to go back to where the POCD actually first started, or the biggest trigger that I can remember. Never a good idea to do that. It's gone back to my friend's child. Remembering at a wedding when she was so pretty all dressed up, really beautiful. And I don't know whether it's the physical and mental state I'm in now that's doing it, but it makes me feel like I re-acted mentally and physically to thinking that. The worst thing was, she was really beautiful, really photogenic and there's a cloud in my heading giving me this feeling of I reacted in "that" way and wanted to. I didn't. But I'm in major anxiety right now, because I'm "feeling" it. Why? Does that mean I am? In my head it's questioning I'm in denial. It makes me feel sick. Ever since then I worried about being around ,not just her, but other responses that I felt would trigger that. Oh my god, writing this down is making me feel sick and anxious and I've convinced myself I'm evil. I don't want to do anything like that, I swear. All this is ruining my potential for a friendship/relationship because I don't feel I can ever be around him because of what is going on, how crazy and psycho I am, and on a physical level with them. And I really them them too and loved spending time with him. I've always avoided relationships in the past, because of my confidence, and I've missed put. It makes me feel so sad, because I'm not evil. I seem to convince myself I'm the P word (I can't even say it), that I'm gonna harm someone because I get angry or upset, that I'm other worse things as well. That I can't do this, and I'm gonna fail. Right now, I feel like I've undone everything positive I've done and experienced over the last couple of months. Which makes me spiral more, I dont want that.

I cant tell if this is OCD or not. Im a teenager right now and Ive been dealing with stuff like this since I can remember, so around 3 years old. Something I do a lot is repeat something exactly 4 times to protect myself from getting hurt (Ex. Ill hit the volume button on my phone 4 times or something will happen). I also will accidentally touch something with one of my fingers so then I have to even it out by touching it with all of my fingers. I have thoughts like “If you dont do *something* a certain amount of times then *something* will happen to someone”. These are some of the more mild thoughts I get, but they do get pretty violent. But I never feel right and I always feel uneven and I cant tell if this is normal or not. Most of the time I cant even go a few minutes without having to do something (that can potentially harm me) in fear that something will happen. Almost every week i unintentionally come up with a new thing I have to do repeatedly and now my mind feels so full with stuff I have to do or itll have a certain outcome. I cant say more because now I feel like if I say it, it will happen. I cant use any negative words cuz i feel like something will happen. If I need to explain more in depth I will, but can someone please tell me if I should get help for this? Because it is REALLY impacting my life and I feel like im constantly trying to hide from my thoughts and its all of the time i cant take it anymore

Hi, I'm Alexander   I want to start off by saying 2 things: 1. I am so proud that you are still here, fighting your war, pushing day by day. You are loved, and you are not alone. 2. I find humor helps me feel better about my OCD, as it kinda takes the wind out of its sail, so I hope I do not offend anyone with the silly jokes I make. If anyone takes offense, please let me know, and I will revise my post.   I was diagnosed with OCD in February of 2020, roughly 4 weeks before the world stood still due to COVID. At the time, my obsession was Harm OCD, but as time has gone by, I have acquired additional subtypes, almost like I am collecting Pokemon (gotta catch 'em all, right?). Over time, I have battled with HOCD, Pedophilia OCD, Real Event OCD, Incest OCD (it's not even a defined subtype yet, I'm just a hipster like that), and few others when I have the free time. My go to compulsions were rationalization (which only made things worse) and avoidance (watching Bob's Burgers and playing Rocket League). I started therapy at NOCD early January after a very rough holiday season, with many panic attacks, crying episodes, and generally wishing I was never born. My therapist, Andrew, has been such a gift in my life, treating me with care and compassion that my OCD makes me feel I am not worthy of. Together, we have identified that the core fear my OCD feeds on is abandonment; I am afraid that if I am the person my OCD wants me to think I am, that my friends and family will abandon me. When it came time to start (E)xposure (R)esponse (P)revention, I'm not going to lie, I was terrified. The first few sessions left me in quite a mess (to be fair, I definitely underestimated my response to my exposures, my bad Andrew, that's on me). Session after session it has gotten easier to face my triggers. I learned to steer away from my compulsions, and to process the triggering obsession like the trauma it is. I have been given the OCD Conqueror badge for my progress, and I appreciate the sentiment of it, however, I'm sorry NOCD, I think it gives the wrong idea. Conquering implies a set-in-stone victory, but that isn't what OCD is. OCD is a lifetime war, and a new battle starts every day. Somedays OCD beats me up pretty bad, but with the help I am getting, I am happy to say that most days I kick OCDs ass, sorry for cussing, brother ---^. I know that OCD is cyclic, and days might come where it battles with everything it has, but I'll be better equipped for it this time around. To those who are in active therapy, don't forget to tell your therapists that you appreciate them; without them, there would be no NOCD for us! Show them the same compassion, reassurance, and love they show us! To those who are unsure or scared of therapy, remember, "courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it" -Mark Twain

I have all of these and im just asking because I always thought nobody would ever understand how much is constantly going on in my head all at once, all the time, everyday. Sometimes there's so much in my head i feel suicidal purely out of wanting a break from so much constantly going on, feeling like it's never going to stop and I can't handle it, and that nobody gets it or ever will. Like there's so many different layers of thoughts and anxieties that connect to triggering each other every day all the time that I don't want to have to even try to navigate any of it anymore... Does anyone else feel this way...

Fucking help, please. How do you shut off these intrusive harm ocd thoughts?

I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit lost to be honest with my thoughts. They feel so real, they actually hurt so much. Why do I find myself comparing to my boyfriends and my friends? I’m not them, they got nothing to deal with me. It’s just that I feel the need to prove I have it worse, and to do that is to partake in actual harm. I have been feeling really low lately, honestly I feel like I’m losing it. It’s a scary feelings to think unaliving myself may be an option for me but I don’t want to do that. In all the hardships in life, there is so good in there. I have my boyfriend , I got good grades, I have a good home life I guess, I have friends and other amazing things too. It sad to say but I kinda need some comfort to know I’ll be fine. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes right now. When people tell me their struggles I compare them to my own. When people give me advice, I overthink it. When I have something hope it gets torn apart. My heart hurts a lot. I feel like even if I do pass I’ll just be another number, like a casualty and no one would care. But that’s not true, people do care about me enough that they want me to live. I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I need help. But I feel like I don’t? God fucking damn it leave me the hell alone. I didn’t do nothing at all. I’m a good person I have morals and I have everything that is fit for me. But why go for everything I care about huh? Let me heal in peace. I can’t even pick up a fucking pencil with other thinking about whenever I could draw good, or even take a breather. it’s disabling its fucked and it’s hurts. Leave me alone. I’m too young to bear this pain. Living isn’t supposed to be a chore. It supposed to be something to look toward to the happy things in life. I fear I’d slip one day and do something awful to myself. It takes more than two painkiller to kill you right? I won’t do anything bad. Maybe I shouldn’t consider this though. I feel like I’ve reach pure insanity with my mental health. Maybe I am depressed or something. God I need help. But why do people try to even help me? Why do they care? I feel myself switching. I’m trying my best to not believe anything my thoughts are telling me. I feel so awful to the point I feel happy. What type of sick shit is this? I do care. But at the same time I feel nothing. This is terrifying and torturous. Please help me. What is this?

When he was a newborn I gave my baby an open mouth kiss (jaw opening) on his head. I’ve never seen anybody else kiss their kids like that. He’s almost a year old and I can’t get past it. I do it on camera on my hand in mirrors and on used to do it on my son’s head and cheek as a checking compulsion. One time I was checking on his cheek and he turned his head so it landed on his lips. I feel disgusted. I feel like that’s something that only happens between romantic partners. Also when he was 3-4 months old I was lightly stroking his back, the side of his leg, and then the inner thigh. I felt an intense amount of anxiety the entire time. I feel like I SA’d him with the inner thigh part. I’d compulsively check to see how far the crease of his diaper was from his private out of fear. I just want to be a good mother but I feel like a monster.

My sister randomly one day told me she had sex with our cousin and then every time I tried to ask her about what happened she would say it never happened or get mad at me for talking to her about it. I told a bunch of people and honestly i admit I think I wanted to get attention from people but it also made me feel like I was gonna explode if I didn’t tel someone. I ended up telling my roomate who was dating my cousin after he was treating her badly they broke up and she was sad so I told her that to make her feel better but now I feel guilty cuz why was I telling people her business? What if I was trying to smear campaign her without realizing it? Why did I want to shock people like what is wrong with me?

I'm already going through so much. I just wish I could get it into my head that these memories of bad things are actually memories of intrusive thoughts I had that day, and not of real actions, because a person with OCD would never do what they most repudiate and abhor and which goes against their principles, and at that time I was already dealing with OCD, I was already avoiding small things for fear of causing harm. I didn't check everything like I do today because I didn't know how the rituals worked, but I always tried to be vigilant so as not to harm anyone, because the intrusive thoughts were intense and I was afraid they would come true. Apart from the fact that my little cousin has never changed with me, he loves me so much, he's affectionate, there's never been a sign that I've hurt him. He remembers little things from back then, he would remember something bad, right? But then it comes into my mind that he was asleep/sleepy and so might not remember. All the bad possibilities run through my mind and sometimes I get distressed, because I love him so much and it horrifies me to imagine that I might have done something bad to him. I don't have the strength to deal with all my problems and these OCD issues, I just want to come to a conclusion and get on with my life, because as well as the OCD I have other problems, such as my finances. Jesus, I feel like I'm going mad sometimes. I've talked about it here before, I know it's wrong to seek confirmation, but I need to get it off my chest, I'm already in physical pain from other problems, so having all these things on my mind makes it worse. I just wanted someone to help me, I'm desperate.

If anyone suffers with OCD harm or other OCD subtypes. ✨♥️ you’re not alone. Even though the my battle with OCD is won through the blood of Jesus. I have more healing to do. I’ve went through the compulsions (temptations); and the hospital visits for chest pains , and was sent home 🏡 because they didn’t see anything wrong , it hits spiritually. It’s spiritual warfare that’s why we are to put on the full armor of God to fight against principalities of the dark world. 🌎 it saddens me that for generations we have been suffering. Let’s turn our lives over to Jesus and let him help us.

So everytime I have a relapse and look for adult content I only strictly look for adults that are involved. Usually fictional ones because that way no harm is possibly done to real people but sometimes I don't get triggered by real adult models as long as I'm aware of their age. Unfortunately, I still come across really disturbing things whether I click on channels to find more content of the same person or other adults and it'll have disturbing content with people I think are underaged. Sometimes it's content of characters that I know are minors but people age them up and that disturbs me the most. I don't get why people do this and I find it disgusting. I never click on these videos because they're disturbing to me and I only go for adults that are simply adults. I hate that this stuff shows up and it triggers my POCD and then I think something bad is gonna happen because I scrolled past those videos even though I didn't want to see them in the first place. I've been trying to stop watching all of this stuff for years and I'm still struggling with it. Content with younger people is the absolute last thing I'd ever want to see and I hate that people make stuff like that and it just stays on websites somehow

I honestly don’t know what I should do. I mean I’ve never had any proper treatment ever, but I know I have ocd because of the pain it’s causing. My current obsession right now is a bit dangerous because I feel like I have to hurt myself to prove I have it worse because if I don’t, how would anyone care at all? Ew, this is is scary I feel like I’m on the ends of my rope, if I don’t follow any compulsions I feel like I’m actually losing it. I’m shaking right now, I do want to live I do want live Please give me a solution I feel genuinely insane I don’t like this And when I do get help I feel like I don’t deserve it and it should be me that has to take it all in I don’t want to be like this anymore I’m tired of following my awful intrusive thoughts I can’t even live life with struggling at all