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Has anyone tried N-Acetyl Cysteine for their OCD? My psychiatrist told me to buy it from the store and try it. Wondering if anyone’s had any experience and what’s it like?

Please only read this if you are 18+ (contains mention of s**cide) I have had severe body dysmorphia since beginning college. I’ve been skinny my whole life and have an entirely flat chest. I was doing really good for a while, but I made the mistake of looking at social media today… There is an influencer who is built exactly like me and I always go to her page to find positivity…I looked at some of her recent posts and the things men and women were saying about her were horrific. Among some of the many hate comments were things like “nightmare body”, “genetically inferior to other women”, and just brutal things each of which would take a person years to recover from hearing. There were countless gifs of dancing skeletons, and a lot of surprisingly attractive people brutally bashing her. I haven’t felt suicidal in years and all at once I see very little point in going on. The world has finally defeated me and I just can’t see what the point is in seeking happiness if I could only ever possibly be lying to myself when i feel good about myself.

Ughhh I don’t understand why. I guess maybe it’s because I haven’t been sleeping well but my stomach has been killing me. I’m currently here at the ER waiting to be seen to make sure I’m not getting some kind of stomach bug because my OCD thoughts went CRAZY a few hours ago

Please help I'm so scared. So I've been focusing on seeing pixels for 2-3 days now and today I woke up tired and I can't seem to make my eyes stay focused. I can unfocus them on command and I've been doing that the entire day. I can't seem to make them stay focused. Unless Imm distracted and focusing on something else. I'm so anxious that this is another symptom of something serious. Has anyone experienced this? I have extreme health ocd and I can't stop thinking about this

​​​​I'm traveling in a few days and I'm worried that my health concerns will make me more anxious when I'm on the plane and when I reach my destination as well. I'm very sad and stressed about my health concerns and although I always have been worried, with this upcoming short vacation it has made me feel like I might not be able to handle the thoughts/worries etc. It has also been making me feel more self-conscious about how I look and feel. I know that travel plans have added extra stress (although I'm excited for this short vacation, I'm worried about my mental and overall health which is making me have more intrusive thoughts that I might not handle while I'm on vacation). There is also the added stress of feeling self-conscious and not feeling confident. I have been avoiding going to the doctor because that is a whole other set of intrusive thoughts (fear of going to a doctor appointment). I just have been feeling really sad lately feeling ugly and struggling with mental health and struggling with life in general. It is interesting how after a long time of struggling with intrusive thoughts I still get a little bit surprised by how intrusive thoughts evolve and change and sometimes I don't think or feel like it is an intrusive thought but it is? (especially when it concerns my health and self-esteem). For the most part I have been managing a bit better with intrusive thoughts. But I have been feeling strange sometimes I feel numb/I don't know if it is depersonalization or derealization. I feel worried/stressed/sad etc but at the same time I'm trying to enjoy life. I really want to feel better when I'm on this vacation but I worry that traveling will only trigger more stress and intrusive thoughts. I've been wanting to travel for a long time and now that the chance is here I don't want to feel stressed/sad. I want to enjoy my trip regardless of my struggles. *Some of my health concerns are real but I have a fear of going to doctors because I struggle with intrusive thoughts and I find myself wanting to book a doctor's app a few days before traveling but at the same time, I feel this will trigger more intrusive thoughts and just before traveling

So I have episodes at night where I can’t sleep. Like it’ll feel like hours have passed and that I slept fully through the might. When in reality maybe an hour has passed. And most of these nights I have bad dreams. My bad dreams are bad lucid dreams… They’re not uncontrollable…because I have a conscious and am aware. But they’re bad because of the situations I’m in. It’s like living in an alternate world Anyways, In my dream I was up north. It was a school night. Actually Sunday, like it was when I went to bed. In my dream all these animals were walking to this side on the street near the woods and dying. In my dream I concluded they had a disease that made them all travel there. But then my dog started to walk over there. Across the street at night. I was sobbing because this dog means more than anything ever could to me. I would do anything for this dog. I mean it. And she was what I concluded as “infected” I had to go to her because it was a school night. And I walked into this house that was the place I was staying. It was a friend of my mom’s boyfriends. But when I walked inside my room in the hours was destroyed like people were trashing it and rearranging it. Which is horrible….. like I irl, panic over people Rearranging small things of mine…. But this was crazy. My stuff was ruined and everywhere. And there were like ten people in there just chilling after doing this. When this happens irl I do compulsions, and I did. I found a sink. I washed my hands a lot. But then I had to eat dinner and as I was eating my sandwich I remembered how all those animals were dying of a brainwashing diessease. So I started panicking and sobbing that I was now infected and was going to die. Like eating my sandwich was going to cause me death. I started counting yo my safe numbers like I usually do. But it wouldn’t help. So I ran to the bathroom in my dream and started to vomit up everything I could and LITERALLY wash the inside of my mouth. I woke up thinking I was about to get ready for school, but maybe an hour had passed…. I can’t fall asleep again, It’s 00:48 I went to bed at 11:30-something Or tried It took me so long of feeling out of place. I can’t do this anymore. The worst part was - actually two. My compulsions weren’t working in my dream which was very upsetting because I needed something to calm me down…. And two, WHY DID MY DOG GET INFECTED- The nerve wracking thing is, my dog is up north with my grandma right now. My brain keeps telling me to text my grandma and ask how my dog is…. But what if I text her and that CAUSES something bad to happen….. I don’t know what to do- I need sleep- I wake up at four.. (4:00 am) I can’t- Sleep- I don’t want to dream again, being tapped in my own head. Sorry for any typos, or if this makes no sense. I’m half asleep. Very tired. Scared and just got done crying.

I feel so clouded. I wish I could just stop thinking. I don’t even feel present around my daughter. I am acting the part, but my mind is so lost in my obsessions. Lately I am obsessing that my head pain is something more than it probably is. It’s all I think about. Constant fear of dying 24/7. Is this it? Is this the moment I keel over? What if my daughter isn’t safe? How do I keep her in a safe environment so if I do die, she’s okay until my husband gets home? 3 weeks of this, triggered by the stomach flu. Since THEN I’ve had the following obsessions: tobacco poisoning, stroke, csf leak, tumor, ms, colon cancer, and aneurysm. It’s hard to find joy. I’m just waiting until it’s over. But 3 weeks and I’m still in the trenches. How do I get out?

how to deal with hyper fixation or hyper awareness? I can't seem to stop noticing pixels in my vision when looking at the walk or in bad lighting. It's been 2 days with this obsession. They cause me so much anxiety and I can't stop thinking about it or checking. I have health ocd as well as this which I think is somatic ocd. So it's making me even more anxious

An animal in my county tested positive for rabies in my county last night. I’ve been feeling so weird and all that since getting bit by a cat on the 6th I’m actually gonna end it all if I have it. I can’t do this anymore oh my god

does anyone else have this terrifying fear of being schizophrenic or a psychopath 😭 i know i am mentally stable yet i feel like im living a lie in a way. i don’t know how else to describe it and im scared im schizophrenic and making reality up?? if that makes sense.

Hey everyone, I haven't been on here in about 6 months because Ive been doing pretty well with my ocd. I still had flare ups but I managed them well. But now my health ocd is back and it feels like there's no hope. I can't be sure I don't have every single illness I'm afraid of, I can't stop checking my body for weird symptoms and sensations. I've been through this before but never this bad. My mind is spiraling 24/7 and I don't know how to calm down. Nothing helps. Most of the time I try to distract myself and do something but this time I can't. My brain won't shut off. It feels like Im living in a cage and it's slowly drowning. What helps you calm down quickly because I'm so tired and scared?

Hey, I haven't been on here in a while but recently Ive been having a major health ocd flare up and yesterday I noticed when I look at walls or something still like the sky, the ground I can sort of see like pixels or grit or static its hard to explain but I can't stop focusing on it now. Im scared that something bad happened but I think Ive seen this way my entire life I just never paid attention to it. Now Im very hyper focused on it and I'm really scared that Im gonna go blind. I can't distract myself from this at all

I’ve known for a while that my anxiety gets worse right before my period. I guess my OCD does too. I’ve been feeling more stuck or “running the hamster wheel” this week mostly because next week will be my period. It’s incredibly frustrating having that OCD/Anxiety plus the hormone changes. I’ve been feeling like spontaneously crying then I will feel like screaming then other times I feel so stuck and fearful with my OCD and anxiety. Usually on my period I sorta mellow out a bit, especially with health anxiety. I know that the symptoms I feel is just from my period and nothing else major so it’s not as scary. Is there any kind of trick that helps you guys when your symptoms get worse during that time of the month?

I'm 17, and Im really obsessed with the idea that my mum could get cancer and I feel like I have to pray that she doesn't and every time I walk past a picture of God I can't be ignorant I'll have to pray. My thought process just now: 'Ok, so you don't take an hour praying, tell God you'll be done within 5 minutes and then you'll have to keep your word' Please god, help my mum not to get cancer, and all the other things I pray for I end up repeating this phrase again and again I could finish within the 5 minutes but something tells me this is offending God so I have to take longer I am exhausted from repeating it again and again Then I say 'I will only repeat this 5 more times and then trust you God, honestly' I end up repeating it 6 times by accident. I feel so bad I beg god for mercy and then I touch the wall once I feel like that was a sign of mercy somehow, I touch the picture behind God and then I tell God to give me all of that bad karma and not my mum To solidify this I have to touch the wall twice I can't see a psychiatrist but I have this kind of thing in my head 24/7 especially at night and when I'm trying to revise I can literally only focus when I promise to God that I will otherwise my head is just spiralling with thoughts like this Am I crazy :( I feel like I am

Hi everyone I am knew to NOCD! I wanted to be surrounded my people who understand how debilitating OCD is and the feelings it gives you. My story is an adventure. I was diagnosed in 2 grade with what the doctors thought was trets and year later we discovered it was OCD. Been in every medication under the sun and nothing help. I did physically compulsions like pulling on my back, pushing on my eye, anything that would cause tension to my body to relief the feeling. I have had lots of permanent damage to my body because of this. I struggled and struggled. It got to a point where my OCD made me look like I was having a seizure (I was not) My parents and I had no to ERP and CBT existed untill things got really bad in my 10th grade of school. My OCD, anxiety, and depression was the worse it has been. We made the decision to go to Roger’s behavior center in Wisconsin. They wanted to send me to inpatient but we were able to convince them to let me attempt outpatient. I didn’t believe in ERP Or CBT and refused to do any of my exposures. One day something clicked and I gave it a try and it worked. AMAZED. I worked really hard, I was there for 3 long months but it was all worth it. They also helped me find the right medications that work with my body as well has getting me off of Klonopin. It’s been 3 years since then and I’m proud to say I’m still doing good and have not relapsed. It’s a struggle everyday but I remember all the things they taught me at Rogers. Once I left Roger’s I wanted to know more about OCD. And that’s when I learned about relationship OCD, NOCD, “pure”OCD, somatic OCD and all the other subtypes. When I found out about them realized that the thoughts I have are not really me that they are my OCD. My somatic, magical thinking and real events OCD Has been worse lately. I am open to suggestions or a questions! Keep fighting everybody🩵

hey:) My name is mai, i‘m 18 years old. I think I‘ve been struggling with OCD almost all my life - eventhough i‘ve only realized it lately, thanks to a friend that made me aware of the fact that the horrifying thoughts and impulses i sometimes experience, are not „just a little stress and insecurity“. When i was a little kid i had very long hair. People always commented on it, sometimes they said things that triggered an unproportional huge amount of anxiety in me. I Never wanted to cut my hair. Someday my sister and a friend told me that if i wasn‘t going to cut it soon, they’d come at night and do it for me when i sleep. I was always a sensible and fragile person that thinks too much and doesn‘t know where to put these thoughts. At that time i didn‘t realize how much these words and fears affected me, but unconsciously i started controlling if my hair was still there every 40-60 seconds. I could not sleep if my hair was not hanging over my right shoulder where i could see and feel it. I always wore it on the right, and checked it - constantly, until one day a doctor told me that my neck was suffering due to the weight and the tense position that my head was always in. Then i decided to end this fear and cut it, so that the pain and fears would stop, reminding myself that i could always regrow it. The fear disappeared, and for some years, in which i struggled with other disorders, the OCD symptoms seemed to be somewhere in the back of my mind. I just finished school, and now i‘m preparing for the TMS (a test in Germany that increases your chances of getting into med school). Since the structure and safety of going to school regularly is missing, and since i don‘t know if I’ll be accepted for one of the subjects i‘d like to study, i feel very much out of control. I feel helpless, at the mercy of strangers and i‘m so afraid of failing the expectations i have for myself. Since this phase of „being out of control and safety“ has started, i suddenly experienced a lot of different anxieties, some of them causing panic attacks on a regular basis. I obsess about my health, i find new symptoms and proofs I could be dead or very Sick in the next few days - every week. I‘ve been to my doctor so often i think he‘s really annoyed because of my ideas. Sometimes i also have psychological fears, like what if i‘m losing my mind.? What if i‘m having a psychosis? What if nothing is even real and everything is just an illusion? Thinking about life and existence frightens me a lot. I can‘t drink alcohol of caffeine anymore because i‘m convinced it will change my perception of reality in a way i couldn‘t handle. Some days i wake up and think that the colour of the socks i choose to wear will determine what kind of day This will become. I often worry that i bother people too much, that i‘m annoying and Just hopeless and that eventually people will realize how exhausting i am, and leave. It’s especially bad in romantic relationships, and it makes everything hard to enjoy. I have now chosen to work on myself, on my real fears - that lay beneath the things i think to fear. I want to educate myself on this disease and get my life back. I‘ll make a list of things that i used to love, and am now too afraid to do. I want my life back from my anxiety and OCD.

For the past week I’ve been throwing up or at least having the feelings of throwing up because of just anxiety and stress. I can’t even eat anything because I feel sick all the time! I’m not even hungry. I really don’t know what to do because I thought I was getting better but every time I eat I just feel sick and when that goes away something happens that makes me anxious or even stressed and I just feel it coming. I’ve never done or had this before but it’s really unpleasant. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts and images that I can’t seem to calm myself down so my body is rejecting food, even when I have no food in my body it’s rejecting whatever it can. The other day I ate one packet of nuts, that was it all day. Because I just feel so sick with all these thoughts

Today I once again have been trapped in the mental cycle of worrying i’m going to get sick, or something life changing will happen to my body / health that will affect my future. I helped a bird today, so now i’m worried i’ll get bird flu. I had a call with my GP confirming a have an infection in my uterus from IUD insertion (she’s not worried about it apparently) so now i’m worried i’ll be infertile because of it.

Before I was diagnosed with OCD I was certain I was loosing my mind. I convinced myself that I was schizoprenic or going slipping into pyschosis at any moment. It all started one day at work after having a few drinks the night before and chugging one of the most amazing tasting coffees of my life. I had my first panic attack. The best way I can describe it felt like my soul was leaving my body (I became really, really light headed). It was horrifying. This spiraled out of control with more and more panic attacks. I started having intrusive thoughts/what seemed like an intrusive urge to do ridiculous stuff. For example, I remember being in a spiritual development class one day and I had this intrusive urge/thought to smash all of the beautiful crystals. Something i'd never do obviously but the thought horrified me. Since, my OCD theme has jumped around a bit to so many ridiculous things. I had harm OCD for a while where I would see images in my head of stabbing someone or pouring boiling water on them. As ridiculous and silly as it sounds to an outsider, I can not even began to describe the grief and horror this created in my soul. I then had repetitive intrusive thoughts "schizophrenic" and "demon" over and over again gosh probably thousands of times a day. Again, certain I was crazy. I tried CBT which actually made it worse. I was terrified to speak to anyone about what was TRULY going on with me because I was certain i'd end up bakeracted and as a single parent I knew that couldn't happen. Plus I knew at heart I was not schizophrenic it just spiraled into this massive fear. It plagued my life every day for years until I FINALLY talked to another person that has OCD & send me an article about OCD where I began my research into leading to an eventual diagnosis. My compulsions were more mental acts like searching mental illness on Google for hours, avoiding triggers, and saying internal prayers or asking the universe to give me signs i'm not losing it in addition to nervous movements like fixing my hair or putting my hands near my face. I am still healing from OCD and the terror that its' caused in my past but i've learned to love myself and know that I am worth it (having mental health issues has always made me feel like it's my biggest flaw) and it's so beyond my control & despite my issues, i'm still pretty awesome! WE ARE ALL A LITTLE INSANE ANYHOW ARENT WE? Lol. Seriously, it's been an absolute game changer. I still have intrusive thoughts from time to time that create some anxiety but it's decreased so drastically. Most of the time I don't pay them any mind or it's tolerable. I am so beyond grateful for NOCD and understanding everything I can about OCD. My life will never be the same since that day but its still pretty damn good! I just want to add a couple other symptoms I experienced was dreaded fear I was going to start hallucinating at any moment. I'd question if I was really seeing/hearing things or if I was hallucinating, and constantly checking my mental state. Too happy? OMG I'm manic and that's going to cause pyshcosis. Too sad? Vice versa.. I hope this helps! Do the triggers, accept the uncertainly, accept your fear and get your life back.

I've been taking 50 mg of fluvoxamine for almost 3 weeks. The doctor said I need at least 200 mg for OCD, so I will gradually increase the dose. This is not my first time on SSRIs. I was on citalopram for almost 2 years because of a depressive episode, it worked well but I remember it made me feel tired all the time. That's why I'm scared to take a higher dose of fluvoxamine. Has anyone ever taken fluvoxamine? Can you tell me your experience with it? I'd really appreciate it.