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Hey y’all I am struggling a bit with the concept of sitting with anxiety - what is the difference between sitting with anxiety and actually just avoiding taking responsibility for self care / coping? Any thoughts would be helpful

My contamination ocd has gotten so bad over the last 6 months. My roommate moved in with his girlfriend and I’m living in my own now, which makes it harder for me to suppress the urge to wash my hands. It makes me not want to do anything but stay at home. I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t even rationalize it anymore. Today for example, my girlfriend got out of the shower before me and wanted to get a new towel so put the towel on the floor. I didn’t have any clean ones except for the one that I use to wipe down my dogs feet after she steps in poop or mud or something. The towel has been run through the wash, but after using it I see that there were some brown streaks still on the towel, making me think that the towel didn’t get fully clean in the wash. It’s completely killed my mood and now I’m sitting here feeling anxious because I can’t do anything about it without feeling weird in front of my girlfriend. She’s very supportive about things like this, but I’m worried she’ll feel bad. Just wanted to vent, hoping it’ll make me feel better until I can go home and shower again

This is a new thing for me…having a name for the thoughts and feelings I have. As a Christian, having religious OCD is terrifying. I want my faith so badly but I constantly fear “doing it wrong” or upsetting God. Where is my fear coming from? Is my fear evil? What if my doubt is evil? Ugh. Tiring.

Hello! I was wondering if people with religious or moral scrupulosity can relate to this! I identify as gay (I’ve known it since I was a preteen) and I grew up in a religiously conservative household and in a culture that does not accept the LGBT community. Growing up, I’ve made a lot of progress in accepting myself and learning to love myself for who I am despite the lack of acceptance and support from my cultural and family background. …however, it has obviously been a tough road. And recently, I think I’ve started developing scrupulosity around my sexuality. Basically, I wanted to rediscover my faith in a way that helped me, but it ended up just causing me a lot of distress because the LGBT are not exactly affirmed by the Catholic Church. And despite my best efforts, I feel like I’ve slid so far back into a pit of guilt, shame, and disgust with myself. I have so many intrusive thoughts that being LGBT is not natural, is not right, is something that can and should be changed or fixed, even when I know these to not be true. I’m curious to know if anyone else with religious or moral scrupulosity experiences similar feelings of guilt or shame about who they are. Not only do the intrusive thoughts themselves make me feel guilty, but I have intrusive thoughts that I AM bad and that I should feel shame and disgust about myself. I’m hesitant to post this not only because I don’t want to trigger others but also because I don’t want it to be reassurance seeking or a compulsion, but I do have doubt that this isnt just from my OCD and that I should be exploring other forms of therapy to deal with these problems.

TW: existential OCD, religious scrupulosity Hello, I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this experience! For me, a lot of my intrusive thoughts come to me as questions. For example, I have a lot of existential OCD, and a lot of my questions may be things like “What is the purpose of life? Is there even a purpose? Is life worth living without a purpose?” A lot of the times, I come to a conclusion that doesn’t sit well with me and triggers even more anxiety. I noticed this also comes up with religious scrupulosity, wondering if God or Hell exist and constantly churning questions in my mind. I’m curious if this is the case for anyone else. I feel like I’m constantly questioning everything around me, and it’s the questioning itself which causes me distress, because I feel like in questioning the things that I value, I somehow take away their value to me because I can’t quite get an answer that satisfies me as to why they were valuable in the first place (if that makes any sense at all 😂). Thanks!

Hello! While I'm not a doctor, I've lived with OCD for 15 years and have explored many techniques to manage it. Through trial and error, I've discovered strategies that truly work. I'm eager to share this advice, hoping it can ease your struggle, especially in the early stages of treatment. Incorporating these tips can lead to immediate improvements in managing OCD. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. There's a supportive community ready to help, and with the right approach, fear and panic become manageable. OCD is treatable, and it's possible to reclaim your happiness and freedom. My OCD Management Recommendations Based on 15 Years of Experience 1. Seek Professional Help - It is a game-changer, trust me. Professional guidance can provide tailored strategies and support that are crucial for managing OCD effectively. 2. Sleep Well - Quality sleep is foundational for mental health. It helps in managing stress and improving overall well-being. 3. Eat Clean - A balanced diet can significantly affect your mental and physical health. Nutritious foods support brain function and emotional balance. 4. Exercise - Regular physical activity is beneficial for both body and mind. It helps in reducing anxiety and improving mood. 5. Engage Your Brain - Activities like reading books, playing chess, watching quality TV shows and movies, solving crosswords, and puzzles keep your mind engaged and can offer relief from obsessive thoughts. 6. Relax - Incorporate relaxation techniques into your routine. Visit wellness spas, get massages, and meditate. 7. Quit Caffeine - Completely eliminate caffeine from your diet. It can exacerbate anxiety and OCD symptoms, so avoiding it can lead to significant improvements in your mental health. 8. Let Go and Go with Life's Flow - These are just thoughts and emotions. They always come and go. Don't resist them. Don't do anything to push them away. Don't play the OCD game. Don't engage in OCD games in any way. Just simply let them be and let them pass. These are just thoughts and emotions. They always go away. They always pass. 9. Notice that OCD thoughts are synthetic thoughts. They are not your natural, real, or pure thoughts. These thoughts are synthetic, so don't engage with them, don't play this game, don't do anything for them. Just simply acknowledge them, don't do anything, just let them be and let them pass. No matter how you feel, just do your stuff and don't do anything about synthetic thoughts. This is how you will train your body and mind that you're not afraid of it, you can function with it, and OCD will simply lose its power.

Hi everyone. I have been experiencing harm intrusive thoughts for 2 months now. I believe it started for me when I had a bad experience with a delta 9 gummy. I am looking this up everyday trying to find reassurance and an answer to all of this. I hate that my thoughts make me question what kind of person I am and if I’m actually capable of this. I’m so scared I will lose it for even a second and do these things. I align with being a gentle, kind, caring person but this makes me feel like I’m capable of anything. I desperately want my old life back. I want to be able to sit on the couch with my partner, eat junk food, watch our fave shows together, and not worry about harm. I hope this will disappear soon.

Hey everyone! This post is lengthy, but I’m hoping some of you will indulge me! **Trigger warning because I’m unsure what condones one, and I go into detail with particular intrusive thoughts I have. None are graphic, but they’re descriptions of bad thoughts nonetheless. I’m completely new here, and haven’t been clinically diagnosed with OCD, nor have I even went to any sort of doctor because of it. I haven’t even looked into it as a prospect for my tendencies until around a year ago. Ever since delving deeper beyond the surface level knowledge of OCD, I feel like it explains all of my experiences. But, I’d like those who truly live with the disorder and professionals to tell me if this is something I should continue to pursue. Thank you all so much. ❤️ Some of what I experience: I often feel like if I don’t wear a certain outfit, don’t do something within x amount of seconds, or don’t triple check that my turned-off phone is recording me, etc. that my mom will stop loving me, my animals will get hurt, someone will be sent a bad recording of me talking, etc. I am fully aware that all of these things have zero true effect, but if I don’t comply with them, I start buzzing with anxiety. I’ve worn the same too-thoroughly-loved scrunchie on my wrist for almost 5 years because I feel unlovable to my family without it. For example: Earlier today, I was worried my very poor quality house camera caught me cursing, that my mom had watched the footage, and was absolutely furious with me UNLESS I pulled out my phone in the middle of a strict no-phones class and texted her a funny message. I knew she was driving when it was recorded, was busy at work, and overall, NEVER checked it unless it was someone outside our family. Nevertheless, I was almost sick with worry, and couldn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the period or focus, until I was able to pull out my phone. This worry, despite having indulged myself and received a positive response from my mother, stuck with me all throughout the day and completely killed my mood until I actually saw my mom was fine a few hours later. As for thoughts, I feel like I’ve experienced intrusive thoughts very frequently and for a very long time. I remember being kept awake as a kid with horrific “daydreams” of getting hurt with knives, hurting my dogs, etc. Everytime I’ve felt upset, nauseous, and worried that I was actually crazy for thinking these things. I recall once, at around age 6-7, absolutely breaking down sobbing because I was too scared to die, my parents were going to die, and my little sister was going to die without all three of us there. As I’ve gotten older, they’ve just progressed. Everytime I drive, I feel like there is always at least one thought of me swerving off the road, speeding up to rear-end someone, or just take my hands completely off the wheel. These things really freak me out, and have brought me to tears when I get lost in them. They have never once actually affected my driving, I always remain in control, but they deeply upset me. I think of teachers that I really enjoy hurting me and other students, even though the thought is sickening and absolutely impossible. I feel like a twisted person for it crossing my mind, and like it’s some Freudian evil within me, no matter how much I know it upsets me and how adverse I am to the mere prospect. My mind conjures up the literal worst, and it can easily kill my mood no matter how much fun or how happy I am at the moment, nor how fleeting. Sometimes, they get so terrible I’m unable to move on with my life until I do some strange mental exercise of me “throwing the thought into oblivion and burning it.” I have been riddled with nonsense guilt my entire life, and it’s so exhausting and depressing to carry. I know intrusive thoughts are intrusive, and I know so much of the habits I have affect nothing, but when these things cross my mind unprompted and I literally cannot help putting on a scrunchie that I think is so so ugly, I feel trapped and disgusting. Right now, I’m just looking to see if this is actually anything since I’ve been convinced all of this is just normal, until I once spoke casually of it with a friend who couldn’t relate at all. Thank you anyone and everyone who read this, and is trying to help steer me the right way. I appreciate it more than words!! ❤️🫶

this will most likely be a long winded post, but i just need to rant. thank u if u read it all. so i just recently learned that what i would describe as hypochondria, or just overall health anxiety, is actually a form of OCD. i’ve discussed it with my therapist but i only see her every other week and there’s a lot of other problems i have that makes this one kinda just get pushed to the side. for me, i’ve always been like this. i have one weird feeling, or pain, and instantly think i’m dying. in turn, i google the symptoms and read every single thing that matches and think i have it. most of the time i end up in the ER and they never find anything wrong with me even though i really feel like something is wrong. i’ve read stories about people experiencing the same thing and doctors not taking them seriously and it didn’t end well, and those stories stuck with me. i e went for everything you can think of. stomach cramps? hospital. chest pain? hospital. lump in my breast? hospital. migraine? hospital. i’ve had extensive testing done. MRI’s, CT scans, blood word, ultrasounds, everything. nothing has come back abnormal. my problem currently is about 5 months ago i was eating a waffle cone, i didn’t chew it good enough before swallowing it and it scratched my esophagus on the way down. ever since then i’ve had a feeling of a lump in my throat every time i swallow and it’s made me intensely afraid of eating solid food. i haven’t been able to eat at all. every time i’ve tried, it feels like bits of food get stuck. the problem is i’ve had 2 endoscopys (a procedure where they put a camera down your throat and look at your esophagus and stomach), a swallow test that looks at my throat muscles and if they’re working properly, a different swallow test that looks at how i swallow different consistencies of foods (thick and thin) and ct’s to rule out anything. the only abnormal thing that came back was that they found some cells in my stomach that contain something that, essentially, is a “precursor to cancer”. the way they described it to me is that i don’t have cancer, it wont turn into cancer in the near future, and it’s basically just “a slight increase” of chances of developing stomach cancer (which to be honest, this is something i’m not worried about because i already knew this. my grandma died of stomach cancer so i knew i had an elevated risk already) they’re going to do endoscopy’s every 3 years just to make sure everything’s good. the “lump” i’m feeing is nonexistent. there is no physical lump in my throat. NOW, because i’m not eating i can feel my heart constantly and i’ve convinced myself i have a heart problem and that if i fall asleep i’ll have a heart attack. i don’t sleep most nights and usually just nap when my fiancé gets home from work so that if something does happen, at least he’s there. also, a doctor i’ve seen mentioned i should get tested for MS because this throat problem i’m having mixed with other symptoms i’m having points to this condition. so on top of heart problems that i think i have, now i also convinced myself i have MS. i have an appointment on march 11th to test for it, but i’m still worried. there isn’t a minute in the day that i don’t think i’m dying. i would be in the hospital right now if i didn’t have a child to care for while her dad is at work. i can’t sleep because i think i will die if i fall asleep, i can’t eat because i think i will choke if i do, and i can’t go 10 minutes without thinking i can’t breathe too. i’m just exhausted. i want to not constantly think about my health. my fiancé is always calling me a hypochondriac and telling me i’m dramatic and it’s all in my head. even if that’s true, what i’m feeling is very real and it doesn’t make it easier to tell myself “it’s all in my head” i know my family and friends are getting tired of hearing about it, but idk what else to do. i just wanna go to the hospital and have them run every single test in the book to rule out EVERY health issue ever. but they don’t run unnecessary tests so i know they won’t. this just sucks.

hello all im a male 26 kinda new to dealing with this. for as long as i can remember i used to really stress out about my health and if i was ever sick i would assume the worst ang google symptoms of everything multiple times a day. i was extremely afraid of throwing up as a kid which i think plays a roll in ocd recently i watched a tv show that affected my overthinking and cause me to spiral out. thats when the SOOCD started to happen, growing up i always was with women and dated women and still dating women i never had these thoughts until 6 months ago i now feel uncomfortable around other men, i dont like to make eye contact and im always checking for a groinal response or sensation in my body when i watch tv or out in public. its affecting my daily life and i dont know where it all came from. i get intrusive thought daily could be a made up situation or a image of something i saw on the internet.

Hey guys, my obsessions revolves around taboo themes which include sexual intrusive thoughts about family members. One of my biggest triggers is caused by photos of family I have around my home. I feel that as soon as I see a family photo my mind tends to sexualize it. I still keep the photos up since I know hiding them will only make the ocd worse. I also try to sit with the anxiety/discomfort/uncertainty caused by the photos and not ruminate on it, not try to “figure it out”. How can I overcome this trigger? I feel like my mind is so conditioned to think of sexual content as soon as I see a family photo which can be a bit discouraging. I’m hoping that with time, and not responding to my trigger, my mind will slowly start to not sexualize these photos. Can someone please provide any advice?

Has anyone had success with meds and ocd? I suffer from overthinking. I Can’t get out of my head . I know results can vary just looking for some hope or light at the end of the tunnel. It’s really hard to live like this.

So, I have OCD, that part, obviously, wont come as much of a shock... But lately it just feels like I have been spiraling and, honestly, it is effecting those around me.. I know it is time for me to get help, but I can't help but have some sense of fear going into it.. A little bit about my OCD. For starters, I didn't know there were so many categories, with such, I don't have all the right words to say this is or isn't what I have, but I will explain it here. I have a son, he is almost two, and for as long as I can remember now (I think it started once he had actually moved into his own bed room) I have to kiss him 3 times before bed. All at once, but it has to be left cheek, right cheek, and forehead. Then I put him down to sleep, don't even get me started on how it is if I "don't get a good enough kiss" or he moves or whatever it might be that messes it up, but anyways. I feel like I have to do this in order for him to be safe at night. The weirdest part is that I only have to do this when putting him down for bed at night, not for naps. But I feel like if I don't, he will certainly die in his sleep. When I am leaving the house for work each morning I have pretty much the same routine, but the important part comes when I am actually leaving the house. I have to lock my door from the inside, using the handle, not with the key. I can't really pinpoint why it has to be this way, but I am thinking maybe because i feel to vulnerable using the key to lock the door? I don't know, by the way, I am also really good at thinking up these really elaborate stories of what can happen if I don't pay attention to XYZ.. anyways, After locking the door with the handle, I pull the door closed, and then I pull it harder one time so I hear a click, after that I test the door knob by jiggling it 3 times before I can go. I do this because I feel like if I do not, my home isn't locked and someone will break in and kill my family while I am away. Every morning on my way to work I pray the same prayer, because if I don't, someone I love will certainly die. I have before facetimed my boyfriend while he has been downstairs with the baby and I was up in my room, supposed to have been asleep, just so he can show me our son is alive and well. I can get it into my head almost always that something awful has happened to him and I can't shake it without being able to confirm he is in fact okay. I once was up way to late one night worried about the smoke alarms in my home. It got so bad I had to physically get out of bed to check each one because I felt as though if I did not, our house would catch fire and we wouldn't know. Because in my head, if I didn't see that it 100% worked, it simply didn't. Honestly, the list could go on and on, but, at this point it is starting to effect those closet to me as well. I know I need to get help, but honestly, I am just a little scared. The last time I had been put on medications to handle mental illness, it made me a completely nub robot and I hated it. Literally, while I was on the medication a family member had passed and it had little to no effect on me emotionally. So much so that it scared my mom and I was taken off the meds immediately. I am scared of not being myself. I know it is a process and I know its just about finding the right mix for me, but I am just scared because I can't look at it and say it'll be this long until something works, you know? It is all unpredictable, which makes it scary. But I want to be better. For myself and those around me.

I see on tiktok and social media all the time that relationships are only hard if you are with the wrong person. I’ve only dated one other person before my current boyfriend and things weren’t smooth sailing all the time but maybe a little better just because we were long distance for most of it. However my current boyfriend is a much better guy than my ex was. But anyways I find myself getting so overstimulated and annoyed with my current boyfriend and I worry that since I’m not happy a lot of the time because he annoys me or if we argue that he isn’t the one. I’ve never been able to tell if I’m in love and I think it’s because of ROCD. However I’m just curious if it’s like a for sure dealbreaker if relationships seem hard or if it could just be me and my ocd that makes it feel so hard even if he is the right one for me. He really is super kind and helpful and we have pretty much all of the same values. Im just worried that since we argue (nothing like crazy or out of line) and he drives me crazy sometimes that maybe he isn’t the one.

So I've always felt so different like there's something terribly wrong with me. I've spent many years trying to figure out whats wrong. I've done research and I even went into a job centered around it all. My dad had OCD growing up but since my compulsions aren't...obvious? I never thought about OCD until recently. I've been diagnosed BPD and now most recently ADHD. I have always been diagnosed anxiety and depression since I was young. But im really starting to think its been OCD all along. I'm not sure my point in this post I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Does anyone else think of their ocd as like, a separate entity? I do, and I think it’s helped me a lot. I feel like it kind of is a parasite sometimes, especially with intrusive thoughts. What do you guys think?

I’m looking for an exposure to do when I see my partner and don’t feel physically attracted to him. I used to use photos when I was picking up on particular features on his face. They were very useful, but now they are no longer as distressing for me. I am now getting more distressed as a whole seeing his face rather than particular features. Any suggestions?

I am 21 and just received an OCD diagnosis. I go through phases of intense obsessions and compulsions, usually involving panic attacks. My last severe obsession was health related, and my current obsession centres on my relationship — an intense fear that I secretly do not love my partner and an overwhelming urge to escape the relationship. I remember when I was a child, my obsession was a fear of violence: every stranger felt to me like a threat, and so I compulsively avoided danger in various ways (walking in zig zag line, crossing the street multiple times on my way home.) Receiving a diagnosis, while scary, has been a true relief. Finally, I understand myself a bit better. I understand why I can’t let go of thoughts that I logically know are ridiculous. I understand why my panic is not a 30 minute episode, but prolonged, lasting days. I understand what the work ahead of me is. Though flare-ups are some of the most painful experiences I have been through (psychologically exhausting, and physically sickening), I am feeling hopeful. While I continue to work on ERP and mindfulness, I am aware of how much more control I am gaining over my attention. I am realizing that this is an illness treated by learning to listen to others, regulate my mind, and choose peace. Once I have the space to apply those skills beyond my immediate obsessions, I feel I will be an all around better person for it. I don’t mean at all to say that this illness is a blessing — I do not consider it advantageous by any stretch. That being said, the only joy I ever find during these difficult episodes are when I feel hopeful. If anybody has any victories, big or small, that they would like to share, I would love to hear them. Hope is a powerful tool. Community is a powerful tool. I hope everyone else learning to manage this illness can use them to our advantage.

I only recently was diagnosed with OCD and have started my journey which I am proud of, but am struggling with finding balance because of the dissonance between my work responsibilities and ERP. I have been attracted to the career I am in because I care about doing right by others, and I have a passion for helping leaders create a healthy environment for the people on their teams. I also of course like clear expectations, writing and following rules, so educating on policies and procedures is a strong suit. Unfortunately, I am just recently learning that a big theme for my OCD includes moral scrupulosity and it has opened my eyes to see why I have struggled so much mentally the past year. I work in HR as a team relations specialist which means I make recommendations on how managers should address issues with their teams, i investigate employee concerns or allegations, and also advocate for team members when they are being treated unfairly. Additionally my job involves doing nonstop documentation of the content of every call we have, every email received and sent to us etc. we then have to save them as files and write notes summarizing each file or piece of correspondence and key information from it. (There is very much the mindset of there being no such thing as too much documentation at my company) I have noticed that since taking this job a little over a year ago, I have not been ok. I love the work I do and the good moments where I feel like I helped someone. I also love that the company and managers put so much weight on doing the right things, but the expectations put on those of us in the roles also feeds my OCD and reinforces my compulsions like getting reassurance that my thinking is right, ruminating, or checking and rechecking. It also gives strength to the arguments OCD makes to me about needing to analyze excessively to make sure I am not missing anything, or that I am not mistakenly engaging in cognitive biases and factoring them into my recommendations. Since I have a large influence over how situations with team members are handled my OCD emphasizes this and convinces me that if I do not do my job adequately or make a compelling argument, I am doing a disservice to the team members I support.....but so does the HR leadership at the company. It is consistently emphasized that we are expected to be the ultimate moral voice in every circumstances and that we are responsible for remaining 100% objective in guiding leaders on what to do to ensure all risks are assessed, taken into account and avoided in addition to us making sure leaders are doing right by their teams. Many of the others in my role like myself also keep spreadsheets during investigations we conduct that documents all perspectives in situations of people we interviewed, track definitive evidence, and analyze all factors/ devils advocate arguments to ensure appropriate steps are taken to address and that every situation is handled fairly. I'm finding that even though I tend to be behind on work because of my just right struggles with documenting and investigations, I am seen as a star performer in my role because I am hyper-empathetic, scrupulous, and risk aversive. Unfortunately, those same qualities makes my OCD obsessions and compulsions stronger. Not sure if there is anything I can really do at this point because finding a new job isn't an option right now, I just needed to get this off my chest and see if anyone has experienced similar where they found themselves in a spot where their work responsibilities were at odds with their recovery or made it more challenging to use ERP tools.

Hi everyone, I am writing this post and exposing my vulnerability with an issue I have had for about 14 years. I am 24 years old now and I was exposed to pornography around age 8-10, I can’t exactly remember. I was shown pornography by my step brother who sexually abused me from age 6-12. Now as an adult male who is in a committed relationship, I struggle with a pornography addiction. Whether it be on websites, Snapchat, twitter, Reddit, Instagram, I struggle with consuming pornography and adult material. I also have severe OCD that has been clinically diagnosed. Does anyone have any experience with pornography addiction they would be willing to discuss? Does anyone have any sexting addiction? I have noticed how this shame and guilt I feel has come into my fiancé and I’s relationship. She is aware and we have communicated on how we are going to work through it. Are there any apps to help with sex/porn addiction? Any help would be greatly appreciated. We have an amazing community here and we shouldn’t be ashamed to seek help.