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I’m scared that a memory I have is real BUT I want to try and remember it as good and nothing happened Worried I’m suppressing something and that’s why I can’t remember What should I do? Anyone relate?

I just woke up from a dream about a boy I went to school with when I was in 7th grade. I used to have a big crush on him. After the 7th grade I was homeschooled and I’ve had no friends since then. I’m 21 now. I was thinking the other day I remember having a dream about him years ago and I was worried what if I had that dream when I was older like 15 or something and it I worry about that sometimes and it freaks me out. I usually let it go but because there is no possible way for me to know, but I was thinking of it last night while getting ready for bed. I had a dream I was in a big neighborhood and I have no idea if I was a kid in the dream because I couldn’t see myself, but I was in I guess his house or something and we were talking and nothing inappropriate happened, I was just saying how my family and I might be moving back here. I moved away for a few years and moved back. At the end of the dream was me now looking into a mirror as a grown woman and thinking to myself that he would be attracted to me now. I woke I’ll after that and freaked out because I don’t have any attraction to this person. I thought he was attractive when I was a kid!! I don’t think his kid self is attractive anymore because I’m a grown woman. I remember a few years ago being bored and looking up friends I went to school with and I found a more recent picture of him and I remember having zero attraction to him. But now I’m nervous and I went to google him to check and he did wrestling and I found a picture from like some paper or something and it might not even be him I can’t really tell but I relaxed when I realized I have no attraction to him, but I also kind of had a groinal response so I just feel really scared that I’m still attracted to this person I was attracted to as a child!! I prayed to be forgiven for the dream I had but I’m really worried I’m a p word even tho know in my heart I’m not attracted to him anymore. I’m worried sometimes what homeschooled for so long without friends, I haven’t had any relationships aside from online when I was a kid/teen, what if my brain is just like latched onto people I had an attraction to when I was a kid? And this isn’t the first time I’ve had a dream like this, I posted on here months ago I had a dream where I kissed this person. And even though I didn’t like it and was freaking out about it, I’m worried I have a subconscious attraction to this person’s younger self and I’m in denial. And my brain keeps saying that he was attractive as a kid which is gross. Yes I was attracted to him as a kid!!! Not anymore. But I’m worried I still am. And I’m worried I’m not a freaked out as I should be this time or that I enjoyed it. I’m trying to rationalize the reason I don’t feel so flipped out this time is probably because I have so many distressing dreams and I’ve been trying to ignore them when I wake up because a dream is just a dream it means nothing.

I feel in a constant state of heart break because I feel like my relationship is at a dead end with no solution. I can’t let go of a betrayal early on in the relationship (years ago), but I’m desperate to do so, I really love my partner and I’m in a constant state of anxiety and fear that I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this. I don’t like talking to people about it in case they tell me to just leave, I can’t, I really love him. We’ve been together nearly 5 years, we live together, he’s my best friend, I’m so desperate to be okay again.

I had a panic attack last Friday and I've been feeling derealization since. This is not new for me. I've had DR feelings ranging from "what if everyone else is fake? What if it's all a dream? Or a hallucination? How do I know if my thoughts are my own? What even is autopilot if I'm on autopilot? Are good and evil made up concepts? What is our inner voice? How can we see things in our memories?" Now my mind has decided to try this on for size: "what if I'm making everything up? People and all? What if the things I read in articles or even on here are things I've made up just to reassure myself?" Someone replies "I've felt this before" I'll be like "of course you have because I'm making this all up." And that freaks me out. I have been challenging the thoughts like I am supposed to with "okay, sure fine. So you made it all up. Does that mean you can enjoy it? What if the opposite is true? How can you be so sure it's not? And if you did make it all up, why is it bothering you so much?" I also am trying to say that I felt fine Thursday, and I haven't had a panic attack/episode like this since last October (2022) and my brain says "yea but what if that's because you made it up?" And then the panic restarts.

Hi. I get a lot of anxiety driving. My ocd likes to make me think certain things happen when they didn’t. I was driving home from work and just leaving the parking lot. Someone walked in front of my car and I didn’t see immediately but they were far enough away for me to break. Literally like 2-3 parking spots away from me. They crossed the street. I didn’t hit them. But my anxiety is making me believe that I did. I even looked in my rear view mirror and saw them walking into the store to show myself that I didn’t hit anyone. Yet I still have this anxious feeling. I know for a fact I didn’t hit anyone. It’s like I have to try to convince my brain that I didn’t. I probably sound stupid.

Does anyone ever think they’re doing good and than life gets incredibly stressful and their OCD kind of gets out of control? The last year I’ve done really good with keeping my OCD in check. Of course it never fully goes away but I manage my intrusive thoughts well and have felt pretty good but life has gotten really stressful for my fiancé and I and things with my kids has also been stressful and for the past two weeks I feel like I’m losing my mind all over again. I have panic attacks and problems sleeping. I watched a scary movie with my fiancé which I usually love to do but now I’m stressed and anxious thinking I could be a schizophrenic and that I’m losing my mind and am gonna go crazy. I know these thoughts are irrational but then there’s always that part of my brain that’s like “are you sure?!” Which makes me spiral all over again. Idk I just feel so defeated because things were good and now they’re not.

Hey everyone - I've been reading about real vs false attraction, and I find myself falling under both categories for an individual in my life. It's making me really anxious, because I don't want real or any attraction to anyone other than my partner. It feels disgusting to say I had it, much less than I had some feelings of enjoying it (even typing it is making me feel sick with anxiety) Has anyone else ever experienced this? If so, how did you cope with it? Is this OCD? Or is this a real problem? Is attraction like this bad?

My psychiatrist said to stop smoking weed because not only is it a compulsion but getting high can make the thoughts worse. It definitely helps with anxiety but then i get into this weird state of not knowing what’s real and fake. Idk why

Ever since yesterday I’ve been scared I might have sexually assaulted my badminton teacher while he was holding my hand. Like I was scared I might have put one of my fingers away or moved my hand a bit. My hand still would’ve been on the badminton but mx brain is saying that if one finger had touched his hand it would’ve been SA. And the worse thing is that suddenly I got the intrusive thought „had I ever touched him inappropriately while he was closer to me?“ and the thing is that I don’t remember doing that at all. I usually am a bit uncomfortable around him and I always watch my hands when around other people bc of my fear of doing so. Usually he also stands at the side where he’s holding my hand so my other hand couldn’t even have touched him. And since I’m constantly keeping the badminton thing in my hand it’s just barely possible for me to have ever touched him inappropriately. But now I feel terrible? Should I ask him next Time? I mean he barely knows me yet bc I’ve only been there like 5 times already and he’s over 60 so what if he might have forgotten that?

i need advice bad. so i am a junior in college right now and my freshman year i met my current boyfriend. last september i caught him doing something i told him was against my boundaries due to personal reasons and things that my ex did to me. i broke up with him and we were completely broken up for around 3 months. during these three months i did stuff with another guy (not everything) and some guy kissed me. after i did stuff with the other guy i quickly realized i didnt want anyone else except my ex and i confessed to the things i did with the guy and he forgave me and we started dating again. we’ve been back together now for like over a year since that happened, but i am feeling extreme guilt over the guy that kissed me while we were broken up. in the moment it didn’t feel like i needed to confess to the guy that just kissed me because i already told him about the guy i did stuff with. now i am feeling like i dont even want to live and i dont deserve anything in life and dont know what to do. anyone please help. i think this is real event ocd. it’s all i think about 24/7 and the guilt is harder then i can live with. i just want to be a good girlfriend to him. and am so so so scared

My problem with OCD/ERP is that it’s very situational and hard to trigger. So it’s hard to create exposures. My trigger is job offers. I obsess obsess obsess about them if they don’t feel just right, ask for lore time, call everyone I know, do obsessive Research, lose all perspective, and then either accept or reject the at the last minute without much confidence. Then my brain tells me I made the wrong choice, and my compulsion is to prolong the decision-making process by undoing and redoing the decision (“I accept! [2 hours later] Actually, I don’t want the job. Oh just kidding, I do! Oh wait, I don’t.”) How the fuck do I do ERP for this?! It’s not like germ phobia where exposure to the trigger is easy (there are germs everywhere). Job offers, real ones, don’t come around often (thank goodness) but when they do it is hell. This used to happen with smaller decisions but thank god that seems to be less so now

Can anyone give me tips on how when I have an intrusive thought that doesn’t mean I did it. Like I’ll have a thought of something then my head will tell me that I did this .. anybody else deal with this

i've done a few posts today and not got any help, i really need some help i'm in desperate need i'm struggling the what if thoughts with the fear they're true and have already happened from a past event i think i've thought it through so much i've convinced myself it's true i really need some help just to be pointed in the right direction 😣😢

It’s been a week since I’ve been experiencing one of the worst OCD episodes I’ve had since I was 15. I did ERP therapy two years ago. I engaged in so many mental compulsions and rituals this last week. I feel calm and normal and it worries me, what if this time it’s different? How do you navigate back door spikes and give your body permission to rest? It worries me if I get out of this I will become a lesbian or bisexual. It worries that when I come back to my senses. That when I get better I will want to explore? I’m trying to be okay with the possibility, but I don’t want to. I can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore.

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? It literally feels like I am in a horror movie, when I’m really REALLY spiraling and ruminating hard, it feels like I’m in another world filled with pure DREAD and horror.I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

My girlfriend and I had sex a about 10 days ago. She is not on birth control, I wore a condom but in the moment I put it on the wrong way at first and then switched it around. I’m terrified that I got her pregnant from precum. I’ve been absolutely obsessing about the possibility of it happening. From what I read it’s extremely low possibly, but OCD is saying she is pregnant. I cannot shut my brain off. I love my girlfriend more than anything and was going to propose to her later this year. I just keep thinking if she is pregnant will I be able to provide, even though I have a steady great income job and so does she. I think will my OCD get so bad that I can’t go to work and lose everything. I used to deal with Sexual and harm OCD, and I just keep thinking will this come back and start if I have a kid. Any tips or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone

I really need some help right now— my family stopped having money for my therapy so I’m feeling really alone—-months ago my family and I were doing karaoke and I did friends on the other side from The Princess and the frog- and I accidentally mimicked the guy’s voice and I’m worried I did it offensively. I’m terrified of being racist and the memory is keeping me up and I’m feeling genuinely really sick. Is there anyone that can offer advice or help? Can I be forgiven? I know that sounds dramatic but I’m sincerely getting sick over it I don’t want to be racist I want to be a good person.

I’ve been debating medication for 3 years. I was wondering about other peoples experiences bc I don’t know many people with OCD. Or what types of medications have helped or if they even have? Can someone please give me some insight. The thoughts are extremely annoying and feel very REAL and uncomfortable. It makes me think everyday something I think can become true or I want it to be true. Any insight please?

Hi I’m new to the group here and I look forward to getting into therapy here as I believe this is OCD again cuz I can’t stop obsessing & thinking the same thing over and over again. Let me back up a bit cuz I have been having these horrible thoughts & feelings for over a month now. So Since my dog has died at the end of October I’ve been having horrible feelings that I’m going to die at the end of the year… I’m so scared and worried. I feel like I have so much to accomplish and do in life, but my brains telling me I’ll be dead by for sure by the end of this year, like i don’t want to die. Like is this OCD or something else? I want to hear if any of you guys have suffered with something similar. I don’t want to die now! I have never had obsessive thoughts about this before so it feels so real and scary. But I’m so anxious constantly, I have barely eaten much, and just feeling so disturbed by my thoughts I can’t focus or do anything it feels! 😞 So obviously I made it past the last two nights cuz I have been having consistent thoughts thinking I was going to die by Friday the 15th, but here I am still alive!… but last night I really screwed myself when I gave into searching up more of “why am I still thinking I’m going to die, etc etc” I went to Qurora where people put there thoughts & opinions on a certain question. A certain word really stuck with me and I searched it up, it was “premonition” I started researching what is the difference between horrible anxiety & premonition and I started reading articles… since last night it’s been freaking me out!!! Like what if this is a true premonition feeling compared to me just having anxiety? 😥 There was some people who posted in the comments on quora saying “I knew something bad was going to happen, etc etc and it did, or I had a feeling my dad was going to die and a few months later he did, etc etc…”. I’m constantly thinking I’m gonna die for sure now… it’s gut wrenching to think this. I know we all die but I don’t want to die now. It wouldn’t make sense for me to die now, I have a little 3 year old boy I wanna be here for the rest of my life! I’m a single mom, I don’t want him to be without any parents. Ugh I’m so sad, anxious, on edge I can’t function. I can’t stop crying sometimes. I have therapy this week but it’s gotten so bad where now I feel like I CANT distinguish the difference between a gut feeling and just my thoughts as intrusive/OCD. Can anyone of you really relate to this?? I just wanna feel at peace again with myself…. And I certainly don’t wanna die young. 😭 But also my thoughts have switched up on me like “well you lived past this Friday, but you’re for sure gonna die in the next few weeks etc etc.” like a gut thought. There’s moments I feel like I need to go to a mental hospital cuz idk anymore…

I kind of concluded that this event that happened when I was 6 was rape but now my ocd has latched onto whether it was rape or not or whether I was responsible for it. My mom left me with this baby sitter who's kid was 11-14 and he was a sociopath i swear. I remember he'd constantly ask me to kiss him and I'd say no whenever I could and he'd like badger me and I would do it because I was scared and he knew this. He tried to make me give him a bj and I'd keep saying no and he was like "otherwise I won't be your friend" or other things. Either way I was really scared of him and I think it was fairly clear I was scared. This other time he made me have anal sex with him saying other wise ghosts will come and hurt me and I was like 6 and believed it. He also said he'd kill NY parents or hurt my parents if I said anything so I didn't. The whole thing felt super coercive and he'd generally bully me or scare me in ways. My ocd is like well you shouldn't blame him it wasn't rape and it wasn't sexual coercion but I think at 12-14 you know not to force six years Olds to do things and the fact that he threatened me means he knew it was wrong but my ocd is latching onto this.