Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I asked 8ball it said I'm going to hell and I'm not a good person

I’m so frustrated. I’m an atheist through and through, I believe in science all the way but I am still traumatized by the horrible things my mom showed me from the Bible as child. I’m frustrated because my mom died and now that I live alone I’m just always scared of the creaks and crackles that my home makes as the seasons change. It aggravates me because I’ll ruminate over and over that “it’s not a demon/ghost it’s just the wood furniture expanding/contracting” this that and everything in between to explain things and I’m simply tired of it. When I was putting down my self adhesive floor stickers to make me feel happy about my apartment I was stuck thinking about the demons my mom showed me in the Bible and had no choice but to continue what I was doing. The area I was working on when thinking these things, it’s either settling peeling, something, either way there is sound coming from that spot and it’s stressing me out. I can’t enjoy anything because I’m both annoyed at the topic and slightly scared because even as an atheist I’m a human being and we fear what we don’t understand. Is there anything people with spiritual ocd do to ease their nerves from the athiest perspective?

I know that Jesus died and paid the price for my sins and that they are pardoned. But do I really? Some part of me finds it hard to believe, as badly as I want to. I struggle with drug addiction, so each day as I use I think to myself how could God possibly forgive me when I’m sinning so willingly? How could he grant me access to heaven when I do what I do? I think of it like an apology (on my part) means nothing without changed behavior. So why should he forgive me if I won’t change? Can anyone explain that?

So i am a Catholic. My brain keeps saying that if I don’t make big posts on social media it means I am embrassed or ashamed of my religion. I am not at all!!!!!!! Idk why but I don’t want to make big posts about my religion. I always post on social media but my brain guilt trips me when I dotn make some posts. It keeps accusing me. I keep having anxiety like i am doing something so bad. For instance today it said that if I don’t make this post with a paragraph about my religion it means I am embrassed or ashamed. I am not so confused bc i am not not posting it becaue i am embrasses or ashamed or shamed wheatver. It’s not becaue of anything bad if i was ashamed or embrassed i would know but i am not. I always make posts me not posting a whole paragraph dotn me being ashamed or embrassed or don’t want to be judged it i was worried i would be judged i woudl t make teh posts i just don’t want to i guess seem like I am over doing it? Not that u can ever but idk i am not ashamed or embrassed i don’t care if people judge me for my religion or my posts i just don’t want to overdo it? I guess I don’t want people to be like “she posts a lot about that” or stuff. Is that normal? It’s not becaue i am ashamed or embrassed. M’y ocd won’t leave me alone. I guess I don’t want it to be in a ocd way? Someone help- if ur not religious don’t reply to this. But me not wanting people to think taht i post too much about it isn’t me being ashamed or embrassed u know. Because I don’t care about being judged for my religion.

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Hello!! does anyone have any tips on how to stop prayer ocd, I have to pray for forgiveness every time a bad thought, or word pops up in my head, and sometimes my ocd tells me I say it but idk if that’s true or not. Ive had this ocd theme for quite a long time and I want to stop it

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

Hello everyone. My name is Cathy and I have severe intrusive thoughts that seem to come out of no where. However only one thought at a time. I fixate on that scary thought for days and days and my anxiety builds up and up. I try to then attack the suggested catastrophic thought such I may have this disease or going to die from that disease or rot in hell etc. scary thoughts always. I try and do a ton of research on line to counter attack the thought trying to prove it wrong and this helps me but if I can’t find something that proves I won’t get the disease or have it already or prove other things too depending on what the thought is, it doesn’t help at all and can make it worse. Is anyone out there experiencing what I have. I don’t have ocd cleaning or washing or checking but have intrusive scary thoughts.

Hey all, this is my first post here, and I really think I'm going through the worst theme I've ever had. For weeks I've been having never ending reaccuring thoughts about everything having to do with being a person, life in general, other peoples lives and experiences, the meaning/purpose of life, and especially ruminating on death and the fact that everyone I know will die, including myself. It's gotten to the point of dissociation, and life feels simulated and fake. I can't think about anything else and the terror that comes along with it is awful (it's almost humorous to me that I'd rather have the POCD or ROCD themes I've had before, this seems so much worse) with death being the main fear in this theme I've given into the compulsions of researching death statistics (such as how many people die in my age group per year and how, car accident/heart disease/cancer statistics) over and over again and constantly repeating them in my head over and over. Driving got scary for a little while, but funny enough driving more (exposure) made that fear manageable. It's also gotten bad with the constant fear of knowing my loved ones will pass, and obsessing over how and when it'll happen. I'm also waking up everyday telling myself it'll be the day I die, and obsessing over the fact that most no one knows their last day and how genuinely terrifying that is. I'm constantly wondering what the point of anything is, if I'm just going to die, and almost prematurely mourning the death of loved ones and the loss of my own life. I am religious, and this offers some relief, but usually just ends in my OCD dipping into some Scrupulosity (which is just ugh why now this). Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this, I'm feeling pretty alone and depressed and genuinely can't see my life going back to normal or any way out of it.

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..

QUITE a few years ago i had a dream of judgement day and i wont detail it. however it was scary. i keep having intrusive thoughts about it. how do i make it stop

Does anybody elses intrusive thoughts feel so real that you are starting to think it's you. These thoughts are starting to feel like there coming from me and I'm not sure what to do. I can't seem to find peace and I'm always in despair I'm trying to focus on God but it's so hard I feel so disconnected from him and scared I'm gonna lose my soul. I can't even pray without intrusive thoughts trying to trick me into thinking I'm not even praying to God. I'm really worried and confused about were these thoughts are coming from I'm starting to feel numb and I'm scared I'm gonna make God mad or something.

I have religious OCD (scrupulosity) and it's been really debilitating and scary. Hard to even get out of bed or in bed if that makes sense . So much massive intrusive thoughts/lies/irrational thoughts abiut the devil l, condemnation , sin and my salvation in Christ . (My higher power - God) . If you guys may have similar or the same kcd as me I would really like to know so I don't feel so alone and scared . ALSO.. if you have any techniques or medication your on that help me cope with it as much as possible Thank you. ❤️

I don't post on here too often, but I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts/scrupulosity as many of you do. Sexuality has always been difficult for me, as since I was a child, I would repress or try to reverse sexual thoughts because I viewed them as impure and worried that God would think I am sinful. This certainly stretches into my adult life. I'm very active in my church, and faith is quite important to me. However, I will spend hours feeling shame over sexual thoughts and feelings, and still consistently repress desires/urges, although it has gotten a little better. The difficult part is, it seems that when I repress the feelings and thoughts, they come back even stronger. I was addicted to pornography for 6 years, and I am happy to say I am 2 years clean. It was very difficult to quit, especially having OCD, but it wasn't impossible, and through good habits and faith I was able to overcome that challenge. However, I have continued to struggle off and on with another sexual compulsive habit, and it is really wearing on me and I want to change. It feels like a catch 22; when I try to repress the thoughts/feelings, they come back even worse and I end up giving in to the compulsion. But when I allow myself to have the thoughts and feelings, I become overwhelmed with temptation and give in as well. I'm just at a loss :( If anyone has any tips, advice, or things that have helped you be successful, I would love to hear them.

I have the urge to keep repeating the same prayer so that my dad will never get cancer and I have the urge to do it in specific places and It has to be right now and I'm scared the second I got to sleep with urge unfulfilled Im going to regret

hi so i just saw this tik tok of a guy who said that he still goes to church and still worships God even though he’s gay because God loves him no matter what and my first thought was to repost bc i am also catholic and believe that anyone can be and i think it’s beautiful that he still has a relationship with God. but then all of a sudden i was like wait i can’t repost this because im not gay and it triggered my ocd into convincing myself that i can entirely relate to the tik tok because i am gay and i don’t love my bf and now im distressed. and im also having false memories of myself googling if you can be gay and catholic which would’ve meant that im questioning my sexuality but i even did that. and now i feel like what if this means i don’t love my bf. i’m so scared and i don’t know what’s real or not

I know this is a problem God this is the biggest problem ever. my ocd got worst. praying hasn't helped, and its like why when I think my brain thinks of all the worst things you could imagine GOD why, and I'm honestly losing myself. I cant sleep without my brain imagining and saying the worst and DISGUSTING and HORRIBL things I could imagine why when will I be okay? I cant even write this without my intrusive thoughts taking over, twisting things, and making me lost. I just want to live in peace.

Does anyone else feel resentment or scared of the holy Spirit after having Intrusive thoughts about him. I'm scared and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been praying but I feel so insincere about it and I am scared that there is something wrong with me. I can't read the word holy Spirit without feeling angry or nervous or scared of what my mind is gonna say to him. I just want it to stop, but I also feel like I'm addicted to the bad thoughts and I am scared of myself and what to do.

Hello, is anyone else feeling like super condemned with the Olympics rituals? Like, they were obviously satanic and wrong but then you have people condemning them on social media (as they should) and calling them to repent for mocking God. In my mind I’m thinking I deserve the same punishment as those mockers because I feel that I’m just as guilty for my intrusive thoughts about God 😕

Answer please. Does anyone else with intrusive thoughts feel like your addicted to them. Like I can't help but feel like I need to have these intrusive thoughts. Ik it sounds weird but I feel it's true. Like I keep getting blasphemous thoughts and I feel like I need to have them. I know I do not but I can't help but feel like I do. Can OCD do this to you?