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Do meds help with existential ocd?

What if you did something really awful when you were 13 that your POCD targets, and calls you a P and a Chomo for it, but your mom tells you that you didn’t hurt anyone, and that it’s nothing serious, and that I’m not a chomo, but other people would see it as such? Would this be POCD and real event OCD, or denial? Because I don’t ever want to be attracted to any kids in any way shape or form… I don’t even want to look at kids… I had a massive anxiety attack at my work because of this and I threw up in the restroom because of this… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… past, present, or future…

Saw this one girl on insta and kept looking and had thoughts also some times found her pretty watched a korean show with cute girls made me think stuff of the same gender and felt real and then i think of texting a guy instantly what does that signify that its denial and i am just avoiding and not accepting and texting a guy?!? These thoughts are Supposed to be unwanted but when i see why does it feel like thats wanted or is it actually if it is then.. like I don’t understand this.. past stuff is haunting as well like where i was very little and i saw this girl baby and found her cute and might have played with her a little more than i should have and it makes me feel disgusted but I don’t even at the moment remember if its true or not like it feels like it is very which makes the pedo ocd pop up and cause it was a girl child the hocd as well pops up i feel so sick and bad idk what to do cause all this feels so real… what should i do.. sometimes i feel like i write all this just because i know writing all this will get people to comment on here and tell me its ocd but there’s a part of me says it isn’t and you do this cause you’re scared to accept.. what do i do?!?

Its destroying me, i actually believe im trans, i keep having images of me coming out as trans, my family accepting me and me feeling relieved about it. I even feel aroused at these thoughts which is proof. I legit dont feel like a man, im so depressed and keep sleeping in order to avoid pain and not think about these things but as soon as i wake up the cycle of depression and hurt continues. This is also my internal monolgoue, im talking to myself and complaning to myself in my head like above constantly and repeatedly. Its hard to remember how a normal person thinks anymore

i’ve given up with ocd, it’s so so exhausting everyday, and it’s even harder that i’m struggling by myself bc there’s no way i’d tell anyone. i just need to accept i’ll forever be anxious all the time and i’ll never be happy. live love laugh🫤

I’ve never had a single friend that is 100% body positive towards me. Everyone tries to get under my skin even when I go out of my way to lift them up. Should i just block and cut off everyone? I don’t see the point in caring about anyone anymore

I remember when looking at the article by OCDspecialists (Chrissy Hodges made a video about the article and OCD) and seeing that people who know about your real events is going to be like a 50/50 and that some will see you as a bad person, but others won’t… if my mom tells me that I didn’t hurt anyone and that it wasn’t serious, but other people will treat it like way differently than my mom, is it denial or still OCD? 😭😭😭

What if you did something really bad that your real event OCD comes back to haunt? Even when my mom reassures me that I didn't hurt anyone and that what I did is something anyone can do and that it’s not serious, I get intrusive thoughts about the real event constantly and it makes me feel extremely anxious and guilty… I was 13 when the real events happened and it's connected to my POCD….. I don't ever want to be what my intrusive thoughts tell me and I'm so scared and anxious about this.. as i am posting this, it’s been about 4 hours since this real event OCD has made me ruminate… I’m constantly puking and vomiting to the intrusive thoughts… now it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious about the thoughts and not giving me intrusive thoughts right now… I’m scared about whether or not this means I don’t have POCD 😭😭😭

So I tried to explain ocd to my boyfriend and the confessions. And he started to question me if there was anything I did that I haven’t told him. I told him no. Which is a lie. But I didn’t wanna bring up all the 15 fucking lies my ocd is telling me to tell him. He didn’t really understand it. He knows I’m struggling with my mental health but I wanted to explain to him that I can’t confess to him because it won’t help. And he said have u done anything in this relationship or even 3 years ago? I was like no! He was like there’s ur answer. But I feel like there is something ur not telling me. And he’s right. I’m not telling him any of it. It’ll cause more stuff, he just didn’t get it & now I feel worse. I feel better talking to him about it but he just didn’t understand it. I know he tried to but I’m stressing out cuz I said I wouldn’t lie again and I did. I coulda told him right there “yes I slept with ur friend 3 times not 1. I kissed ur other friend 3 years ago.” Like so much. But I don’t wanna tell him. He doesn’t need to know this stuff. This is so fucking unfair. I feel some relief cuz I confessed the messages I saw between him & his friend & him snap chatting a girl I dislike a year ago. But I didn’t tell him about the other 2 things that seem big to me. Idk. I’m freaking out.

I’m Brandon, 33 years old and at the age of 8 my mother left me. I found her at the age of 16 and she left me again. At the age of 22 I had my first seizure. On average I get 1 seizure every 8 months to a year. My entire world Paco passed away, family dog and even though it’s been close to 2 years, I still miss and cry over him.

I just puked outside my house… this was cause I was getting POCD intrusive thoughts of being a P or a chomo over real events that happened when I was 13… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to harm any kids in any way… I make an actual effort to not look at kids at all and completely ignore them or move away from them… I get anxious if they are even close to me…

i can’t sleep and i just need someone too talk too, or relate too, i’m struggling really bad.

As I was trying to check on my cat, which was in my sisters room, I noticed that the door was locked and I left because she was sleeping… my POCD and real event OCD are telling me that it’s because I’m going to do the real event again in the future when I dont ever want to do anything to my sister or any kid… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form…

Ever since my OCD and depression has gotten worse these past two years, I am disgusted by nearly everybody I talk to/everyone I was once good friends with. I find something wrong with every single person I know and have some kind of resentment towards them no matter how big or small. Even the small things that bother me about them seem astronomical and like deal breakers. I secretly wish the worst for people and are convinced they have wronged me in some way or another. I don’t consider anybody a “friend.” I view people like their garbage and get off by hurting them because I feel like it’s pay back for how they’ve made me feel at certain times. My hatred towards the world is so overwhelming at times that the anger will keep me up at night. I came from a broken home and both my parents are dead. Ever since my mother died, I turned into a monster and have been told that anger is a stage of the grieving process, I just didn’t know it would be this overbearing… I know I sound evil, but I just cannot control these thoughts. I used to be the sweetest person alive and loved everybody, but now I’m the utter opposite. It’s like I’m permanently jaded or something. It’s scary. I don’t know what to do to find any relief. I’m currently testing out all sorts of medications in hopes for some relaxation/rationalism and to be back to the way I used to be, but just can’t seem to get it right. I’m on like my 15th medication and none seem to do anything for me. Even when I vent and get good advice, it only holds me over for a couple of hours until my next outburst. I feel doomed. No I don’t feel like harming anyone or myself, I just simply don’t like people anymore.

How do you convince yourself to stop trying to “solve” the thoughts or questions when you feel really bad and it feels like if you could just resolve your doubts or figure it out you would finally feel good again?

Do you guys think that breaking up with your boyfriend will be easier then to go through all this things ( thoughts feelings etc…) I’m lost Also I wanted to create a support group on Instagram for ROCD so if you want give me your Instagram x

What if you did something really bad that your real event OCD comes back to haunt? Even when my mom reassures me that I didn't hurt anyone and that what I did is something anyone can do and that it’s not serious, I get intrusive thoughts about the real event constantly and it makes me feel extremely anxious and guilty… I was 13 when the real events happened and it's connected to my POCD….. I don't ever want to be what my intrusive thoughts tell me and I'm so scared and anxious about this... I can’t sleep because of anxiousness and guilt, and when i try to I have nightmares about it….

I wanted to share a sentiment on here for those with ROCD. I don’t know what the right way to share this is, I don’t know if it will help anybody, but I felt like sharing my story. I have ROCD, and have it bad. I would get breakup urges, doubts, mean/negative thoughts about my partner, you name it…I had it. I always wondered “will this go away if we just break up?” Maybe we should just break up if I feel this way, even if I love him. Maybe it will all stop if I give in to my urge. We broke up almost two months ago. It’s much more complex than me having an urge to break up and doing it, he needed time and space to heal from his own issues, and so do I. I have had very little to no treatment for my OCD by the way. I wanted to share with you all that no, the thoughts did not stop. They did not go away after the breakup, and two months later they are still here. They’re just different. I share this because I think this is a testament to what OCD really is. The obsessions/thoughts don’t just go away because you give into compulsions. The problem wasn’t my relationship, the problem was going untreated with OCD. The thoughts don’t stop because we broke up, they will stop when I seek help, when I do the work, and learn to live with the OCD rather than by it. I don’t know what the right thing is. I don’t know if my (now ex, for the time being) partner is the one or if he isn’t the one. I know what I feel. And while I feel devastated, heartbroken, alone, and all of the worst feelings that come with having your most cherished relationship end, I am still riddled with anxious thoughts. What this at the very least confirms to me is that my ROCD was and is very real, and that while my relationship was the obsession, it wasn’t the reason. It’s OCD, and I need to give myself space and time to recover from it. I’m going to do the work to get better, and I hope you all give yourself that space and time too.

... but I would like to find people on here around my age (I'm 38), who would be interested in proper chats and conversations outside of here (the app is great, but as there is no option to properly chat, but only blog, it's not completely satisfying my need for conversation with other OCD sufferers). I know younger people suffer from OCD, too, but certain things and views are just different, when someone is 20 years younger than me (no offence). Of course, we'd need to find out, if we get along and, if not, it should be fine to stop engaging without any hard feelings.

Ever since I developed really bad OCD and depression, I want nothing to do with my friends. I ignore them for weeks on end and they get pissy with me because I won’t go see them EVER and I just feel like they wouldn’t be able to relate to me anyway, so I just run away and hide. I feel like I barely have anybody anymore, but at the same time, I’ve been told that I do it to myself. I’m angry because I know they just don’t understand so I just don’t bother. Anybody else’s disorders cause them to disconnect with friends? I feel lonely at times and alone.