Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I need help! Can anyone tell me if this sounds like Existential OCD? For the past year or so always think “what is the point” about so many things . This started because I realized me and my husband don’t have any friends, so every time I try to exercise or look nice I start thinking “what is the point, why do I care to impress random people” I don’t know .. it’s so fkd I hate this shit I need help or I’m gonna end up killing my self

What’s the youngest you remember having obsessions? The youngest I can remember was when I was 3 and I threw a hissy fit every morning because I needed my shoes tied so tight that it hurt and my mom never tied them tight enough (in my ocd opinion) because she didn’t want to hurt me but yeah literally every morning before preschool I stomped my feet and cried because my shoes didn’t feel tight enough. That has always been a big part of my ocd, is things not feeling right but specifically not being tight enough. I used to wear my jeans so tight with a belt that it left permanent scarring on my stomach area and honestly probably damaged my insides in one way or another. Anyone relate?

Harm OCD help please! There’s been two news stories recently (one where I went to uni) where the boyfriend in a couple has killed the girl, possibly following a fight. Both cases are uni students, really similar lifestyles to me and it’s like, what if I do that? It’s really triggered my harm OCD like I’m desperate to know what happened, why it happened and how people can kill each other just like that because I’m so scared I’m going to do that one day. Does anyone else do that? The first case we know it was a ‘jealous rage’ that led him to kill her, but everyone gets jealous right? So how can that lead someone to kill another person? Thanks in advance :(

Is it bad that my hocd started from porn?? Like I was scared I might like gay porn??? Is this normal

I've had ocd for over a year and no one knows. I tried to tell my mum but she says I don't have it, she thinks it's just being neat but I have pure o but she didn't listen nor care. My dad is against mental health and says it's ridiculous and I went to a therapist a few times but stopped because I was shamed by my family. My brothers bully me and call me nuts crazy for going to a therapist but no one knows my true pain of ocd, no one cares either

Fixating on borderline personality disorder this time... ugh! I can truly convince myef of anything

hi i was wondering i’m 13 find i feel like i may have ocd i havnt been diagnosed but i always think my friends hate me when i know they don’t and last year, all i thought about was if i was gay or not and i know that i’m attracted to girls but i stressed about it a lot and lately, thoughts have gotten stuck in my head a lot and right now i’m struggling with, i did something sorta bad but not even really that bad but it won’t get outta my head and i always feel if it makes me a bad person but it’s not even that bad, also i arrange stuff so that it’s to the right so that it’s facing like right and it’s not really that i stress if i don’t do it too much just that i feel the urge to do it, another thing i do is arrange stuff so that it’s not touching other stuff and if i touch something with my left hand then i’ll have to touch it with my right hand, if i spin one way i have to spin the other, if i say something to someone and they don’t hear it i have to keep saying till they hear it and if they something i stress out if i don’t hear it, and also a lot of it is how stuff will happen on the spot like i’ll just feel the urge to touch that counter 10 time .i’ve been going to counselling for anxiety but i feel like the stuff i do is more ocd than that i’m just really stressed out does this sound like ocd

I work at a library and i hate it! I know bed bugs can possibly be there and though i have Never seen them or had any problems and it rarely crossed my mind. But then one of our branches had a donation with some and due to the high volume of donations all branches take I am convinced they are everywhere. I am afraid to leave my house and do anything now. I even skipped work yesterday. The only reason i went today is because im planning to basically burn all my clothes when i go home and burn myself in the shower. Am i being crazy or does anyone else worry about these things.

Does anybody have OCD about being depressed, even though you’re not? Like you’re scared of being depressed?

did something trigger your OCD or did it just develop randomly?

I keep obsessing that I'm picking the wrong career. I've had some bad luck and I want a career change. I've been out of college for 3 years now and I spent hours researching myself and what I want and it's driving me crazy that I can't be with a job that's stable and long term. I Google and question often if I picked a bad major since I can't seem to get my foot in the door. I'm just afraid I'll waste money if I learn new/wrong since I'm already in debt. Any advice? I feel like my whole life is work and stability focused and I can't really do what I enjoy because it seems like I'm headed for such an inconsistent job life if I continue with customer service and design. Not to mention, I am very sensitive in jobs and desperate to find a company that will work with me and not use me as a temporary or seasonal fix after I worked long hours and overtime in the office.

Trigger warning for contamination ocd. I saw a dark water spot on the bathroom floor. While it looked like water and not blood ocd keeps making me paranoid it was blood which is my major trigger. How should I deal with this uncertainty and what are some coping mechanisms I can use? Thanks in advance.

A little clarification on my (and many others’) experience with HOCD. Yes, “I don’t care what my sexuality is, I just wanna know for sure” makes the case for HOCD stronger and more ‘qualified’ sounding- however that is not the only HOCD can manifest. Saying that, can trigger some HOCD sufferers who are simply weary of identifying as lgbtq (an understandable fear). Do NOT get me wrong however. I would do ANYTHING for my friends who are bi and gay. I love them SO dearly and will fight for them for forever. Lgbtq folk who struggle with their identities, and not being loved by the people who are supposed to love them no matter what- INSPIRE me with their resilience. Their strength. Their confidence to live out who they are to the fullest extent. I watched the movie Love, Simon and cried like a baby, and am incredibly excited that Pete Buttigieg is the USA’s first openly gay presidential candidate. However this does not discount the struggles that many lgbtq people face. So many are not accepted by their families, have extremely difficult life transitions, and agonize over coming out. These are not things that people willingly want to go through. Is is completely unreasonable for someone suffering with HOCD to also fear these things? As an example (I’m black)- there is a difference in saying that you wouldn’t want to be black because you believe we are less than, versus saying that you wouldn’t want to struggle with the same things that we do. Just because you understand the trials and tribulations that black people go through in this country and would not want that for yourself, does NOT mean you are racist. It simply means you understand that there is pain. And no human willingly wants pain. Although these are exact things lgbtq people have to deal with (making HOCD distinctly different from most other pure o themes because it becomes impossible to differentiate us from people actually struggling with their identity) it shouldn’t be ignored that HOCD sufferers fear them too! Why wouldn’t we? This is such a deep rooted issue for sufferers because, where you could say someone who is suffering with POCD would never hurt a child simply because their thoughts horrify them (and a real pedophile wouldn’t be scared of their thoughts) you can’t say the same for HOCD. For some of us HOCD people who have these specific fears, it’s even more difficult to trust that what we have is ocd and it’s even more difficult to explain to someone else that what we have is ocd. I’ve had different themes of OCD throughout my life and the obsessive and compulsive behaviors have been the same, but this one makes me feel like I don’t even get to qualify. What a mind-fuck for us, huh? Also understand, this definitely isn’t my only fear. I have been attracted to, day-dreamed about, and desperately wanted to be with one gender my entire life. Having a husband was something I’ve wanted for so very long. It IS a part of who I am and what I want. It’s distressing to think this could all be lost one day. To have these ‘dreams’ stolen by obsessive thoughts, and be made to believe that it was all a lie- is just as hard to deal with as any other form of ocd. When I envision the life that ocd is telling me I “actually” want- I’m filled with sadness. How do any of the rest of you deal with your ocd telling you that you want (or want to do) something- that you actually don’t? I know this can be controversial, and truly truly hope I do not offend anyone- lgbtq friends, I truly do love you. I just want everyone to know that what we can struggle with within each theme, can be very different- but none are any less important or qualified than the others. If you truly disagree and want to share, please be kind. I am just as fragile as a lot of us on here. I’m suffering too.

is addiction more common amongst ocd sufferers? drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee.. whatever really, anything you can get addicted to. or is it pretty much the same as any other person?

I don't feel supported by my family... Just exigencies.

Does anyone here get disassociated or disconnected from themselves ?

[Being late] [Advice pls] Hi! :) Well, it's my first time talking here but I need some advices on some issue. Well, I don't have OCD but I'm very anxious and manifest some of the anxiety in some obsessive characteristics (I'm in therapy btw), but the thing is that I have symptoms pretty similar to Contamination OCD and it's making things hard. I usually am very impuntual but now it's increasing and it's affecting hugely my responsibilities. Could be part that I wash my hands a lot and take too much time washing and cleaning my teeth, but also maybe other stuff influences as well. So, I'm asking please for some tips or advice with it since I feel the problem is bigger than other people face and those advices helps, but not as enough as the complicated that I am right now. Everything will be welcome, thanks :)

Has anybody done ERP for False Memories? Thanks in advance!

hey, i have a question to people with obsessions and intrusive thoughts about sexual orientation. i too have a little tiny amount of worries about being any other sexual orientation than i think i am now, but they dont bother me that much. i see a lot of people here have these thoughts in huge portions. my question is, what is it that makes you afraid of it? i know this could seem like a really rude question, but its asked out of curiosity; does it have to do with internalised homophobia? or is it because your current sexuality is very strong and being anything else would completely change your identity? i just wonder a lot

do you guys smoke weed? why or why not? like what does it do to ur ocd