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I told the guy off I’d say about a couple months before I met my boyfriend in over a weight loss thing that we discussed. The guy that I was talking to was really or seemed really interested in me and we were going to go on a date or two and before we could even do that we were hitting on each other and acting all fun and all that stuff and one day he said something that really got under my skin for no reason at all I don’t know it just got me really pissed off. He said you have to lose weight or eat healthy I forget exactly what he said but in his culture I guess they need to stay thin or something like that but I took it as he was calling me fat so I got into an argument with him and I basically told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. So basically he was telling me I needed to lose weight over cultural reasons I guess but I took it like he was calling me fat and he didn’t necessarily tell me that was the reason but I read online that people in his culture do take food seriously so later on when we stop talking I saw him in public and I started to feel bad. He waved hi to me and I felt weird because I have a boyfriend now and for months he’s never hit me up on WhatsApp or anything and I get this weird feeling that had we not argued about that little thing we would probably still be together. However I love my boyfriend so I don’t know why I’m having these feelings every so often I don’t know whether it’s just intense guilt that I had for flipping out on the guy or if maybe I still have feelings and it’s bothering me that I can’t figure out guilt from infatuation or what the difference between it is. I need to know what phenomenon this is because I don’t necessarily think it’s OCD completely. This happens a lot and I haven’t spoken to a therapist about it yet but I don’t know if it’s the fear that I’m making a mistake. There’s also times when I refuse to open messages from other men without my boyfriend present just in case I feel like I’ll hit on them or cheat back. A lot of it has to do with me I know for this particular reason with the not opening the messages without my boyfriend present part was from something that happened years and years ago where I was accused of cheating when I never did and a bunch of guys set me up because one of them really liked me and texted me and I told my ex boyfriend about it and instead I got blamed when I did literally nothing and ever since then I think I snapped and I’ve been stuck like this for years.

I been feeling "gay/bi" almost all day I feel alone and like no one relates to me, anyone else?

So I’ve heard of exposure therapy, but how exactly does it work? I’ve been having these same intrusive thoughts about smothering my cat/person with a pillow and it had made me wary of pillows, but it’s like the thing I e realised is that as long as I am not dwelling on the thoughts or thinking of them, the pillow doesn’t affect me like I can’t sit and stroke my cat and it’s fine even if there’s a pillow near me, but as soon as I start thinking of those thoughts it feels very scarily real that I would do that and that I would ‘like the feeling of doing that’ I don’t really know how to explain that but has anyone else experienced that? Where like you’ve been ruminating of testing yourself on a particular thought so much that it not only feels extremely vivid but feel like you ‘like the feeling of doing that horrible thing when you thought it’ I don’t know how to explain it because I know that I don’t want to do that I cry almost everyday and whenever I do get the thought I get instant anxiety and feeling of needing to poo and I even started getting this weird crawling feeling in my private part down there…it’s really weird, another thing is recently idk if this is stress related but when I go to sleep I get this weird feeling in my heart and then it feels like it goes through my whole body but it’s not a good feeling it’s a bit scary actually and recently I’ve been getting lip tremors when I’m nervous (telling my life story now) but basically when I have those thoughts or dwell on them they not only feel scarily real but I don’t know why it feels like I would like the feeling of doing that because I don’t want to do that, last night I was about to go to bed and I decided to stroke my cat before I went to bed and then because it was having intrusive thoughts prior I started trying to test myself again by having the thoughts and then it just felt scarily real and for some reason that weird feeling of liking the feeling of doing that came and it was really scary and horrible and then I feel like I want to reassure myself that I wouldn’t so then I go back multiple times to stroke my cat so try and convince myself I wouldn’t do that but it’s just really horrible, I keep praying I just hope things will get better. But basically as long as I’m not having the thoughts I feel okay around pillows the only reason I feel uncomfortable is because the pillows remind me I am ‘capable’ of having the thoughts, so it’s like in my head now it’s like okay when I don’t have the thoughts I’m much happier and feel better but when I have the thoughts it feels like I would actually do that and like the feeling of doing that so as long as I have the thoughts ‘I’m bad’ or have ‘bad desires’ I’m just worried idk what to do it’s really scary, and when I have the thoughts and walk away, it feels like something bad was about to happen or that I dodged a bullet 😞😞

It’s like the intrusive feelings are just consistently present… and then when I try to see my reaction to the intrusive thoughts, It makes me think I’m in denial when I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual in any way… plus it’s making me think I acted on my intrusive urges with this explicit anime content recently. I had no idea what the girls age was, but seeing as how there were signs indicating she was over the age of 18, I ended up m/o’ing to it… my POCD is making me think I’m in denial because of this… plus my HOCD is making it feel so real… making me feel like I’m either in denial or making me feel like I want the thoughts when I dont… plus sudden intrusive thoughts of dudes doing explicit stuff to me when I dont ever want to ever do anything with any guy in any way shape or form…

So my thought currently which im obsessing over is “what if 2 years ago when i was chilling with my guy friend i wanted him to make a move whilst i was dating my current boyfriend” So not even doing something BUT THE THOUGHT OF IT and i dont even know if i had this thought i dont think i did😭😭😭 I feel so guilty- my brain is twisting everything because i used to have a small crush on this guy but i didnt have it when i was dating my bf😭😭😭😭 I feell like i have to confess this because ive been unfaithful:(

Does anyone get extremely triggered by news stories, specially the recent Idaho events? Today really triggered my ocd and I’m scared to sleep etc cuz I’m convinced someone is after me just like those stories

Any fellow Christians who struggle with religious OCD, do you ever feel burnt out from your faith from managing obsessions and compulsions? I have a desire to read scripture and be with God, but it can also be a battle because a lot of my compulsions center around scripture. What encourages you when you get like this?

If you have walked through any of these things listed below, what helped you? 1) How do I make peace with the important moments that OCD ruined in my life? Some of these moments I had prayed for and looked forward to for so long. Then my intrusive thoughts, fears, anxiety robbed me from feeling present and joyful in some really important moments. I can’t get those moments back. 2) I needed therapy and support for years, definitely for undiagnosed OCD and other problems it caused. How do I make peace with the younger version of myself who tried to heal on her own and not get the help she so desperately needed? 3) Forgive those who played a role in stressing me out to the point that my OCD became excruciating in July. 4) Forgive myself for deciding to get friendly with those who ended up causing my stress and then long term OCD symptoms and depression to spike out of control, despite my better judgment. 5) Rebuild a relationship with God after turning my back on him, telling him he must not care about me because he didn’t protect me from these people and this experience. I feel like there’s a lot of self pity in my post lol, I guess that’s just where I am right now in my story! Encouragement and advice from people who can relate would be AWESOME. I really want to get better broken heart 💔 ❤️‍🩹 😕

Hey, I’m having trouble with intrusive thoughts lately and I was wondering if I even have ocd because I feel uncomfortable if I don’t solve the intrusive thoughts. I have the same themes showing up in my head all the time, they are suturing and not part of my character, but they make me worry that I’m a bad person, that’s why I need to solve, mostly I check the thoughts and analyse my emotions with it. I did go to the doctor , I’m waiting for my therapy appointment, I’m worried what if I don’t have ocd?

Can you really convince yourself you fell out of love? I know I shouldn’t be posting but I am so desperate… I wanna know if others have believed they actually fell out of love? I don’t know if I am with my partner for the right reasons.. 😞 I always knew it was ROCD but now.. it’s like.. I don’t even have it.. Kissing is the one big thing I love getting from my partner. I am a big baby when I want him to give me good night kisses. But it’s like I don’t want them anymore… that I am just forcing myself to kiss him.. I hate it.. I love giving him kisses… that and hugs.. my mind is stuck.. I’ve been with him for 12 1/2 years… I don’t want it to end bc we can make the relationship grow further with work and that’s what we are trying so hard to achieve. I know I love him ALOT. I am scared after saying I wanna break up over and over and over again… I actually convinced myself I wanna break up. I don’t feel anything anymore.. I want the relationship to live bc we are good together. I can’t see myself breaking up and I hate that I constantly feel or think I want to… it’s not fair… 😭 I am scared that I’m not attracted to him anymore too… I don’t want it to die so please someone help!!! I am going thru the grass is greener syndrome too…

Trigger warning for those that might get triggered by mention of ped0philic thoughts & suicidal ideation. I am 20 years old and have always wanted to have children young. My boyfriend and I have had discussions of starting the process of trying to have children, but recently my POCD has really been acting up. I fear that I am attracted to children and teens and I also have gr0inal sensations occasionally. This has caused me an immense amount of panic and depression to the point of me wanting to end my life. I feel like I shouldn’t have children due to my POCD. So, back to the question in my title. Should I avoid having kids since I have POCD?

My ocd serial killer harm thoughts // Schizophrenia fears are hitting the past few days and I totally fell for 2 compulsions. While I do feel stronger in dealing with it. The discomfort is still the same. Any words of encouragement?

Just some encouragement for those going through ERP for the first time. I've been doing ERP for a month or so and it's hard. Sometimes the flare ups of anxiety and uncomfortableness last for hours, sometimes off and on throughout the day, sometimes for multiple days in a row. It's hard and you wonder if it's even working considering how bad you feel. The doubt is hitting your brain. You feel like you're writhing under your skin and feel dirty in a place you can't reach to clean. You feel numb as you're with friends or doing something fun and feel like you can't enjoy yourself. You can feel exhausted from fighting with your brain. But then one day you wake up and you begin to realize you don't feel as bad as you did. It's like the fog has lifted for a moment and you can see the thoughts, the feelings, the lies as they really are. These moments of clarity grow and grow and show up more frequently. It might fade if you sit and poke at the thoughts wondering if you're still scared and worried that you're not. Remember OCD is a small thing disguised as a collosal entity. It's a cult leader pretending to be God in order to brainwash you of the worst things. It's an overprotective guardian keeping you trapped under the guise of protection. And it all takes place in your mind making you feel like you're irrational and simultaneously a liar. The panic ebbs and flows and you just want things to go back to normal. But if you continue to be neutral. Treat it as a toddler asking "why" a million times to get on your nerves. Call it out as OCD and let the thoughts and feelings exist in you mind. I swear the fog will continue to lift more and more overtime. You are all so amazing. OCD is a monster that is holding up a hollowed out mirror telling you that it's your reflection, trying to convince you that you aren't strong enough to handle it. But I believe in you. If you have to talk to your OCD, tell it to "bring it on". Taking on the risk, the panic, the fear isn't easy. But you're here on this app. You were brave enough to make it another day. Another day you're here is another day to try again in kicking OCD's behind. Even if it's resisting one compulsion, that means a victory all the same. It's hard. I've vomited over the intrusive thoughts I've had. I've felt I should lock myself away due to the things OCD convinced me that I was. Some days I still feel that. But it becomes less and less over time. OCD wants to isolate you, hurt you, beat you up, and restrict your happiness. It's demanding. It wants you all to itself. It's a personal battle in a way. But I promise if you keep going, even if you slip up, It gets better. All of you are braver than you realize, you keep going and doing things even when you're terrified. Bravery isn't being unafraid of something, it's doing what you need to do while terrified. I know you might feel bad and exhausted right now, that's okay. You've been fight for a long time. Just take a breath and get back up, that's all you need to do. I hope this encourages anyone going through ERP and encourages those about to start it. You are fighting your own mind and winning, that's freaking incredible. No matter what, get back up and keep going because one day you will look back at this moment and realize you did what you thought you could never do.

Hi I have not been diagnosed with ocd but I’m pretty positive that I have it. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and I love him dearly and I would do anything for him. Towards the ending of my senior year of high school a boy who I have not talked to in high school randomly came up to me and talked to me for a bit just about how life was going and what not I don’t even really remember what we were talking about it was very brief but I mentioned that I had a boyfriend while we were talking just in case he was flirting with me but I was sure he wasn’t. To add on I also found this person attractive but I don’t find other men more attractive then my partner. Later on that day me and my boyfriend were arguing and our relationship wasn’t as stable as it usually was and I was very stressed out and I had thoughts of maybe I wouldn’t be as stressed out or that I would be happier with someone else. Things got cleared up and I felt immensely guilty for thinking those things and I felt horrible but I was able to move on and be happy with him like how we usually are. Then my graduation day comes and this person comes up to me and says that I looked beautiful. I didn’t think much of it and I just said thank you I was flattered and continued on with my night. I didn’t think much of it because I did see him being very friendly to other girls in our grade that day like rubbing their shoulders and being very touchy and talking a bunch. And I would think to myself I would not want that in my boyfriend (like talking to a bunch of girls and stuff) then summer came, my boyfriend and I were very happy and in love. Then my boyfriend went through a transitional time after high school and he was having a hard time and it affected our relationship. I started having thoughts like the grass in probably greener with that other person from school. (Which I know it would not be ) and I love my boyfriend I never want to leave him. But since those thoughts this persons name pops into my head I’d start crying and be mad at myself and I’d be constantly frustrated and at war with myself because I just wanted to be with my boyfriend and I felt like I couldn’t and it was always bothering me. I turned towards closure thinking that if I knew this person wasn’t flirting with me then maybe I can stop thinking about him and I asked him and he told me he was just trying to have a friendly conversation nothing else and that he has a gf and that he was with her for a very long time. And I felt so much relief and that I can be free and just be with my boyfriend. And then my mind kept telling me that I have a crush on that other person when I know In my heart I don’t and it felt all too real. Then time continued on and I started to have thoughts thinking that I’m gay when I know I’m not and it would give me so much anxiety. I couldn’t be around my friends without feeling weird when my boyfriend would kiss me and I’d think about a girl I know kissing me and I would feel sick to my stomach and disgusting after and so anxious. Then I would have thoughts thinking that I’m a pedofile or a serial killer when I am none of these things. And my thoughts will cycle from thinking that I’m a bad girlfriend or I’m with the wrong person or that I’m a cheater to that I’m a lesbian or that I’m a pedofile or that I would kill someone when none of these are true. I don’t want this to take more of my life then it already has it’s been 7 months I even have suicidal thoughts but I know I wouldn’t do it. And it’s all so stupid it gives me the worse anxiety I can never focus and it feels like I can’t be myself or fully relax anymore. It’s like my heart and my body will be enjoying the moment and my mind will be saying the most evil things. How can this end I’m over ocd.

this is my first time using this app. i havent been officially diagnosed with ocd but the signs seem pretty clear. i've noticed myself being more anxious lately. a major issue ive been having is i am extreme indecisive. its dinner time, chicken tenders or a burger? sometimes it take me more time to decide on something than to eat it. maybe because i wanna make the best decision i can. and thats just one example. in the same ballpark, i can never have a thought that doesnt come with a conflicting thought. usually when i feel like i've negatively affected another person. i guess an example is like if i have plans to do something with a friend that i dont really want to do, i'll cancel. but then im like "what if going to that event meant a lot to them? did i make them cry? was that rude of me? should i go anyways and suck it up to not hurt them? i should respect my choices more. is that selfish?" you get the point. it then sends me into a spiral which often leads to anxiety or me crying. its all very tiring and i was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

Plus it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious by my intrusive thoughts, and feelings rn… 😭😭 I just want this to stop…

sometimes i think people really don’t realize how bad my OCD is.

Man, it's been a while since I've dealt with these - it's been mostly harm images for a while. But the intrusive urges are back, and maybe stronger than ever. How do you guys deal with them? Do I just disregard? The feeling tonight was so strong that I was going to kick my dog, and I love her so much. I hate this. Do you guys have tips? I've started compulsively googling again and I need to stop. Any tips for how to sit with this would be so helpful.

Everything involving potential health problems I’ve come across this year has been very black and white. -long-lasting headaches -random pain sensations that’ll come one night then disappear -panicking over fearing taking a medication I wasn’t supposed to -using water that may have been contaminated The list goes on, I am so deathly terrified of, well, death already. I’m having such a tough time not thinking the absolute worst in ant situation I’m in regarding my health and I’m struggling sitting and accepting that it may NOT be something deadly each time. I’m trying to get past this and focus on the joy in life and surrendering that things out of my control - are out of my control and I can only worry about what I can control. But this thing with death is so hard for me to not overanalyze and think black and white about, more than I ever used to. Does anyone or any NOCD peer advisors have any advice tailored to health concern anxiety/ocd? It’s hard to balance what’s real vs what isn’t with health (although I’m sure this is the case with any ocd)