- Date posted
- 3y
I'm curious, anyone here got engaged even WITH ROCD? How did you/ are you working through it?
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
I'm curious, anyone here got engaged even WITH ROCD? How did you/ are you working through it?
Today, I received my “Conqueror Badge” from NOCD and I am in tears of joy 🥹 Never, did I ever think that this day would come two years ago when I was in both the depths and grips of hell battling OCD (Harm, etc.) At the time, my diagnosis was unknown because my family, friends & I didn’t know what had taken over my life. Unfortunately, but fortunately; the collective decision was made to self-admit myself into the hospital in a psychiatric unit. I spent two of the scariest weeks of my life in the hospital. However, it wasn’t my experience that was scary (don’t get my wrong; it was an adjustment for obvious reasons), but rather the unknown that was petrifying for me. Both meeting/speaking with different doctors on a daily basis, being prescribed medication I hadn’t ever heard of; let alone taken in my life before, only being able to speak with my loved ones during certain times of the day, etc. But worst of all; was not knowing if/when I would ever be discharged. Thankfully, two-weeks later; I was discharged and my journey to being on the road to recovery had began. From being admitted into an out-patient program for one-month, starting multiple types of therapy and then thankfully discovering NOCD. Which, is where both regaining and rebuilding my life truly, began (alongside undergoing ECT treatments in order to break down the excessive gray matter in my brain; of which causes severe anxiety, depression, etc). It was with the likes of both Joe Cook (initially) and Tiffany Merritt (most recently); of whom both helped me slowly, but surely; rebuild my life from the ground up through therapy. Yes, therapy was scary at first, difficult at times and unnerving all together, but through the grace of NOCD, my supportive partner, family and friends; I was thankfully, able to both regain my life and control of it! However, this did not/does not come with trials and tribulations along the way… Unfortunately, there currently is no cure for OCD and it can only be managed through therapy, medication and in extreme cases - brain surgery. But the moral of my post and message behind it is that if I can get to this point in my life; ANYONE/EVERYONE reading this can too! As I mentioned earlier in this post; I’ve been to hell and back and unfortunately, it almost took my life. But thankfully, just when the light at the end of the tunnel had become it’s dimmest and darkest; I turned the other way decided to walk in the other direction. Of which, ultimately saved my life, thank God! With all of the above being said and taken into consideration; I conclude my post with this - PLEASE, continue to spread awareness about what OCD TRULY, is! Please go about getting a proper diagnosis for yourself and/or anyone else who you may be concerned about potentially having OCD and last, but not least; please, invest in your self/someone when it comes to therapy, medications and any/all other alternative options that help fight back at OCD and regaining your life or the life of someone you know! Because it TRULY, saved lives! Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌
Good morning, I’ll be honest, this feels odd because I’ve never written any of this out before. I’ve never enjoyed journaling as it was difficult for me to be unbiased in my writing. To introduce myself, I am a 23 year old Registered Nurse who just graduated college this past year. I began my first nursing job this past fall with a job I couldn’t wait to start. It was on a cardiac/intensive care unit and I was ecstatic to have been given the opportunity as a new graduate nurse. As my start date approached, my anxiety built but I knew it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I had become comfortable with this feeling. As long as I can remember, my mind has forever been flooded with doubt. When I was young I was shy and always played by the rules, deeply fearing upsetting or disappointing any authority figures. My anxiety would fill me to the brim every day, and only some days would I at least be able to bury it deep enough inside to function. I remember the first time I threw up at school. It was first or second grade, and I was sitting in the front of the classroom as I tended to do. I slowly felt the nausea coming on and that’s when the thoughts would start. “YOU’RE GOING TO THROW UP”, “THE NAUSEA IS GETTING WORSE”, “EVERYONE IS GOING TO WATCH YOU GET SICK”. I felt as though my brain was chasing itself around in loops until I would inevitably believe the ideas. I knew I was going to vomit but was still so scared of upsetting the teacher I raised my hand and stayed in my seat. She eventually allowed me to go and as soon as I stood up, I threw up on the floor right next to the girl sitting next to me. I’d never felt so embarrassed, ashamed, and humiliated in my life. It would turn out, that feeling would not be unique to this one moment. I have hundreds, if not thousands, of similar stories whether they ended in mental triumph, physical defeat, or were visible to anyone else or not. This went on for years with various degrees of understanding by family, friends, doctors, and myself. This lead to shame, embarrassment, and wondering what was wrong with me. Why was I different than every other kid. When I got to middle school, I went to a psychiatrist for the first time. I never remember being told an official diagnosis, just told “anxiety” and started on a low dose SSRI. I remember feeling that my psychiatrist was nice enough, but seemed to not ask much about the thoughts going on in my head as much as the exterior symptoms and implications in life. I did feel some relief from my overall anxiety levels with the SSRI but my obsessions didn’t disappear. I assumed the other problems I still had were just my own fault. While I could go more in depth into middle and high school, it would take much too long and isn’t necessary to understand the whole story. In college I met the most incredible woman in the world on my 3rd day on campus. Never in my life had I met someone who seemed to completely understand me. She understood every feeling I’ve ever felt and every thought I’d ever had because she had felt it too to some degree. Understanding my mental obsessions of repeating certain words, counting, and intensely ruminating among others. I had never really discussed these thoughts before as nobody had asked me about them and I assumed it was related to my anxiety. But, it was the first time I ever felt completely accepted, understood, and in company with someone who thought like me. After graduating college, we moved in together while she started her next tier of education and I began my job. When I started on my floor, the anxiety was intense but I still felt like if I really pushed myself, I would be able to get through it. Every day would begin with my alarm going off, heart pounding, and short of breath. That’s when the ruminating starts. Multiple streams of thoughts from each dark corner of my brain, coming together to create one chaotic tortuous mind. “WHAT IF YOU MESS UP AND KILL SOMEONE”, “EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR PROBABLY HATES YOU”, “YOU ARE SUCH A TERRIBLE NURSE”. This is also accompanied by the comically mundane thoughts such as 3 words from a Bob Dylan song repeating incessantly for nearly 2 weeks, sounding just as loud. This began to become debilitating. Every single action I performed was intensely scrutinized by myself to the point of impairing me in the things I truly need to be thinking about. For example: Administering an IV Antibiotic - Step 1: Remove sterile cap from vial Step 2: Attach vial to ordered fluid bag Step 3: Mix/spike bag/prime tubing Step 4: Clean IV access with isopropyl alcohol for 30 seconds and allow to thoroughly dry. Step 5: Attach tubing/program pump Step 6: Ruminate whether you cleaned the IV access Step 7: Worry you accidentally introduced bacteria into the access point because you didn’t clean well enough. Step 8: Go back into the room 10 minutes later to check you actually set the pump correctly. Step 9: Convince yourself that potential adverse health outcomes are your fault. Step 10: Don’t Sleep This is just one example of an action when it happens with hundreds of things I do during a shift. These thoughts became so intense that they would never cease during wake or slumber. My nightmares involved making mistakes at work, and I would fall asleep and wake up to the same rumination about decisions I have made in the past, mainly relating to work. I eventually got to my breaking point when my obsessive thoughts turned to self harm. “KILL YOURSELF” would just repeat over and over again in my head like a broken record. I had never had suicidal thoughts before and started to become scared of myself. I planned to quit my job but my manager encouraged me to take medical leave instead which is what I chose to do. After finally navigating the healthcare system myself as a patient instead of a nurse, I was recommended to a neuropsychologist. Following neuropsychological testing, my diagnosis of OCD was clear to my provider and to myself after further introspection. While my outlook on my treatment is more positive than ever, I am not sure what the next step will be for me. My medical leave extends through the end of this month if I choose not to extend it, and I am beginning ERP next week along with the updated SSRI prescription I am currently on. I know I don’t want to go back to the cardiac/intensive care floor I was on previously but I worked so hard for my nursing degree and want to make sure I put it to use. I have no experience with ERP and no idea of a timeline and still feel overwhelmed at this point. Alongside dealing with family relationship issues at the same time, sometimes it feels too difficult to conquer. That’s pretty much where I’m at now. Thank you if you read this far, I appreciate the space to vent. Recognizing who I am and who I am not, the experiences I’ve gone through and how they molded me, and accepting myself is the biggest thing I am trying to do now. Thank you for listening and I wish you all the best on your own individual journeys as well. ❤️ -Aidan
My counselor is doubting my psychiatrist and the the phychiatrists that evaluated me in the phych ward. She states that I was only there for 72 hours and that an OCD diagnosis takes 6 months. She is telling me she thinks I have postpartum depression instead of Harm OCD. Now I'm obviously doubting myself and everything. What would you do? What should I be doing?
I’m 26 and a female. I have this big thing about guys talking to younger girls like I think it’s super creepy when a 26 year old goes after like 18-20 year old girls. Like going out of their way, usually if I know the age of a guy is under 22 even I’m like NOOO. But my friends brother is 20 turning 21 soon and he’s very cute and I am attracted to him and we kissed and I am in my head so much about it because of the age difference. I didn’t really think I’d be attracted to him because I did think he was cute but his age was like a no no for me but now I’m like it isn’t even a big deal & im not going after young guys as I hate men do it like legit go after those ages specifically. I’m in my head a lot about it thinking am I a creep for that? Does this mean I like younger people? I have had sexual trauma from childhood of being weird with other kids with games and stuff even though I was only 7. So I get scared I’m just this creepy creep who likes younger kids even though he’s 20 and not a kid but I’m scared in my head ugh.
Hi everyone. So I’m reaching out to see if anyone has been successful when it comes to an OCD issue with harm OCD and “the fear of loosing control”. I have had OCD for most of my life. In 2013, I was engaged, bought a house for my fiancé and I, and found out a few weeks later that they were cheating on me. Long story short, that event really messed me up mentally for awhile. About a week later when driving to my grandmothers, I had a random image pop up of me shooting myself in the head with my dads hand gun. It was very detailed. At the time, I had no idea wtf I was experiencing. Was one of the scariest times of my life. Finally after going to a psychiatrist, I was told this was OCD. Over the years, I was on and off of Lexapro which helped for awhile, tried TMS therapy and recently just completed ERP therapy mixed with mindfulness meditation. The ERP and mindfulness meditations have overall really seemed to help. Over the past 10 years, my self harm image comes and goes. I sometimes can have very good days as well. My main issues still is that I can’t seem to move forward with where I can loose control at anytime and harm myself. I always feel like my brain is trying to protect me “just incase I do loose control”. Let me be clear, I love the life I have and am not suicidal. ERP helped me adjust to the image of me harming myself, it’s the “what if I loose control” factor that is still bothering me most days. I can be doing an ERP exposure with my weapon out on my lap (my gun is also never loaded during my exposures), but as soon as I put it away I seem to go back to telling myself I can still loose control one day. My mind usually goes to “I was fine right now but how will I be tomorrow? Say I loose control.” Then I get extremely frustrated and my mental compulsions start. I try to do more ERP where I tell myself that yea I might loose control one day, or who knows? which doesn’t seem to help much. I can take the easy way out and just get rid of my weapon, but I’m truly trying to heal and face this issue so I can live my best life possible and not just have a temporary fix. I am looking to maybe find another exercise or way to be ok with the uncertainty of the fear of loosing control. If anyone else has has had a similar issue and found a solution please let me know. Thanks :)
I have this horrible feeling in my head and my stomach, I’m not sure why and I’m not sure what it’s trying to tell me. Last night I just broke down (I’ve been on my period so my hormones have been all over the place so that’s probably got something to do with it) because I’m really not in a great mindset at all I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and idk why. I think it might have something to do with the fact we have this lovely lady working with us who’s so sweet but her belief system is talking about spirits and how everything happens because it’s planned out and she knows what’s happening when, which is fine and I completely stand for her having her beliefs but when it comes to my OCD her saying specific stuff about my relationship or my life it really sticks with me. But now I have a feeling because I think this way because I think different that I’ve fucked up my own future and there’s gonna be something out there fucking up my life. I’ve always lived by the rules whatever happens happens, but now suddenly I’m on edge 24/7, I’m waiting for bad things to happen. I’m waiting for the things she told me to happen, constantly in my own head and constantly feeling shit and I don’t want to anymore. I don’t wanna feel like my life is gonna fall apart, I don’t wanna sit here thinking that I have a power over me making my life miserable, that the universe now hates me that I’ve done something wrong! I’m so close to talking to her and saying look have I messed up my life but I know that’ll make me feel worse but I’m not sure how to stop this feeling. I wanna live and be happy and I’m finding it really difficult at the moment to do that. I’m really stuck on what to do, I can’t live like this I’m constantly in a state of mind where I’m stressed and stressed and stressed over stupid little things
Everyone on here is looking for answers right? I have too. I was trying to rely on my own strength and was giving into my fear from ocd. Ocd is scary and tough and when I got a new theme this year I thought my life was ruined…. That was a BIG lie! Growing closer to Jesus I am so much happier and depression that I also was facing is like no more now and if it pops up it’s because of my own doing. We weren’t created to do this life alone. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”-1 Peter 5:7 I feel so set free in God’s presence and his truth really helps whenever evil spirits try to attack me with my Ocd. 9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”- Jeremiah 17:9-10 “31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”- John 8:31-32 Yes my ocd may still be here but now it’s just like a little thorn on my side and I don’t have to be afraid because I have almighty God on my side! 7 “or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”- 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 God is still using my ocd for a purpose. You don’t have to be afraid anymore with whatever mental illnesses are bothering you. Ocd doesn’t control my thoughts anymore because of Jesus. Yes, to follow Jesus you need to accept him into your heart and repent and he is faithful to forgive you because he loves you and he just wants you to love him back! Yes it will be hard to give up sinful desires but he is worth it. He thought we were worth it when he died on the cross taking on all our sins so that we could have a chance to have eternal life and be with him forever. God is good! Your journey may be hard but God is with you every step of the way and he sees you, he hears you. If you have any doubt than seek him! 20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”- Revelation 3:20 2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”- Colossians 3:2 2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:2 2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” -Isaiah 43:2 It’s time to get up out of that grave! in Jesus name! May the peace of God be with you! Hope this helps those of you feeling lost and needing hope and needing answers because Jesus Loves you a lot!
hey guys i was just wondering if anyone has any “self care” tips or different things to do that helps with their OCD ( or any mental illness ). Ive heard things like journaling and meditation but i want more things to do that can help better myself
It's the third night in a row that I am not getting any sleep whatsoever. Not a wink. It's 2:40h a.m here. I just can't get myself to bed. I feel I need to do, read, look up so many things. I am exhausted, but I can't make my self get up off of the couch and go to bed. I am being irresponsible towards my every day duties. I feel numb inside. I am anxious for many reasons. Guided relaxing or mindfulness videos on yt only make me nervous. Is it because of the meds? I am on Zoloft. I have had insomnia for over 3 months. But when I went from 100 to 200 mg I actually got a few hours of sleep in a night. Now after around 10 days I am 100% awake 24h/day, every day. I don't get it. I have a fear if I go to sleep I will be missing on precious awake time. What is wrong with me? Any suggestions what to do? I am like a zombie. Anyone out there who's been through this?
This is one of the main topics of OCD; intrusive thoughts. The heart of how OCD operates. It can fool us with anything. I would like to know what type of intrusive thoughts there are, and do they come in questions or statements? Do they disguise themselves as voices? Are they really that convincing? Do they only create fear and anxiety? If it does create fear and anxiety, is it OCD?
So basically I’ve been dealing with obsessing thoughts about my sexuality and gender orientation. Although the majority of my thoughts are about my gender. It’s really freaking me out! I had a really bad issue with this when I was a freshman in high school. The thoughts became much less intense and I was able to live my life although I still got anxious about it from time to time. Now I’m in college and I recently began another very intense and distressing obsession about whether or not I’m attracted to girls or whether or not I’m transgender. It’s been six months of never ending anxious thoughts that really bother me. I want to be girl (which I am now) and date boys but I have these thoughts that what if I liked girls or wanted to be a boy and that causes me sooo much anxiety. I just worry so much because I sometimes have thoughts that I am uncomfortable being a woman and with feminine things even though I really like traditionally girly things and have all my life. There was never an ounce of evidence in my childhood but I’ve heard that some people don’t find out until they’re older and they sometimes don’t have any evidence from childhood so this doesn’t reassure me. Anyways, sometimes I have thoughts that it would make sense if I were a boy and that would be more like me even though I don’t want it to be and have never really felt like that. Lastly, I get really anxious because although I’ve felt much better with these obsessive thoughts over the past few years, it still came around once in a while. Why wouldn’t it go away? If I weren’t transgender, wouldn’t it have gone away? I just need some help. I don’t know what’s happening to me? I get scared because I just want to be me but sometimes it feels like it could be wrong and I can’t tell if it’s just my anxiety or what?
At this rate I’m still struggling to accept serious or terminal illnesses. Been my main theme for over a year now. I just can’t get over it 😞 I’ve had themes about head, neck, colon, lung cancer, a brain eating amoeba, heart attack, and now dementia smh I wish I could say there’s a limit to this but with all of the thousands of illnesses out there it isn’t limitless. How has someone managed health concern???
Feels like I am accepting the thoughts when I don't have a panicked response. It's like I feel like I want the thought even though I never would because of lack of anxciety. Assuming this is part of ocd?
Sorry, this might be very specific. I have this OCD theme where I'm afraid of supporting a problematic artist by accident. I really love music, its my number one coping mechanism and I tend to fixate on musicians that I love. I love learning about the history of my favorite bands or musicians and collecting merch. But I have this fear that I'll find out a musician is problematic and I'll be a bad person for liking them or their music still. I have this one artist I love, hes really helping with my mental health recently and provides me with safety and an escape and im afraid one of these days I'll find out something awful about him and have that ripped away from me. Does anyone else experience this?
TW // angel numbers // mention of death I was recently diagnosed with OCD caused by PTSD. I’ve never told anyone my story because I feel like it’s such a specific obsession/compulsion that not many people relate to. I want to tell my (extremely long) story in hopes that someone else who may be experiencing this won’t feel so alone. Over 10 years ago, I met a guy on Omegle. It was weird, but we continued to communicate over the years by coming in and out of each other’s lives. We never met in person, but we loved each other deeply. In 2020, I hadn’t talked to him for a while but I randomly saw a Snapchat story of his. He sent me a message shortly after saying “hey stranger” and we quickly reconnected. It was like no time had passed, but we had both been through some serious life experiences since the last time we had talked. Within months, we were talking about our relationship and our future together just like we did when we were younger, but this time we were old enough and had the means to carry out these plans. Shortly after, I noticed a change in his behavior. I saw him commenting on other girl’s posts while he was still telling me he was in love with me and while we were making plans to be together. I came to find out that he was on tinder. I confronted him and he claims he deleted it by sending me screenshots of it being deleted. I believed him. Weeks later, our communication ended. I felt sick and abandoned by the one person I’ve truly loved. Months later, he wished me a happy birthday and I said thank you out of obligation. 7 months later, I got this overwhelming feeling that I needed to check up on him. I went to his Instagram page and scrolled to the tagged photos. There it was- something I never thought I’d have to face. I saw multiple posts saying goodbye to him as he had passed away in an accident a couple weeks prior. I felt my world crash. No matter how bad he hurt me, I felt that the love of my life was gone and I would never get to meet him, touch him, hold him, kiss him, or experience life with him. All the things I had wished to experience with him were now just a dream. I started trying to find ways of coping with his death. I reached out to his mom and she told me that he had always said he was going to marry me. I couldn’t even imagine what his family was facing. I needed comfort in any way possible. Tiktok was becoming more popular at the time and so was the practice of spirituality and witchcraft. I ended up on that side of tiktok and indulged myself in it. I started asking the universe for signs and I started asking him to send me signs if he was okay. I asked him to send me 444 as a sign that he was with me. Within days, I was seeing 444 everywhere. I started relying on seeing 444 for comfort. I would talk to him as if he was near me. After some time, I met a new guy. In this situationship, I asked the “universe” or “my guides” for signs that meant specific things, such as 973 meaning that my relationship with this new guy would work out and that 733 meant we were soulmates. It started getting really out of hand. I would start my mornings scrolling through tiktok looking at the numbers of likes, comments, and shares on videos looking for these numbers. I needed to see these numbers every day because (in my mind), if I didn’t see it, we wouldn’t be together and I wasn’t okay with that. At first, it started off as numbers only meaning good things, but when I noticed something off in this new situationship, I asked for a sign of 358 if there was a “third party” involved (simply put- if he was seeing someone else). But I also asked for the sign of 235 if he wasn’t seeing someone else. I started seeing both of the signs, but it was confusing as the meanings were completely opposite and contradictory of each other. I started feeling crazy because I was seeing both of these signs. Over time, that situationship ended but I would still see the signs like 973, 733, 358, and 235. I felt crazy. A couple months later, I flew to a different state for a festival and reconnected with an old friend. I met him in 2008 and I remember being so head over heels for him (let’s call him A). I still think he was my first love. We “dated” in middle school, but it didn’t last long. We stopped contact and he got a girlfriend a couple years later. They were together for like 7 years, but he and I would talk every now and then just casually. We met up once or twice while they were together but just as friends. They broke up around 2019 and we got in contact again. I had moved a couple hours away from home, but he came to visit me in my new house. This was the first time we ever had hung out as more than friends. We would talk every few months and he mentioned he has moved to a different state (which brings me back to the beginning of this paragraph lol). I knew he lived in the state that I was going to for the festival, so I texted him and asked if he was available. I skipped a whole day and a half of the festival to see him. It was the happiest I had been in years. I remember the love I felt and I felt so alive. It felt like a break from the obsession with seeing angel numbers regarding my last situationship. I flew back home but A and I kept texting almost daily. We planned for him to visit a couple months later and he did. Then I went back out there a few months after that. Everything felt like it was getting serious with us. Soon enough, I started creating new angel numbers regarding the relationship with A. Like before, the numbers started out having only positive meanings. Come to today, I moved out to the state where he lives and we now live together. But I have constant fears from previous experiences. I ask the universe, spirit guides, God – whatever or whoever I’m asking – to show me numbers like 838 if he’s cheating or 482 if we’re going to break up. Some days, I see these numbers EVERYWHERE and I become so filled with anxiety and fear. I feel like I can’t escape it. Part of me shuts down like my world is ending. I look at every license plate I pass, every price tag, numbers or likes/comments/shares on social media posts, the time- anything with numbers. Often, I’ll open apps just to search for numbers like they’re a sign. I started becoming obsessed with asking pendulum readers and tarot readers on tiktok questions like “is he cheating”. One person said that he was being intimate with someone else and from that point on, I became obsessed with asking for a sign of 838 if he’s cheating or 228 if he isn’t. But I see both everywhere, it makes me feel like the universe is playing games with me. Here’s my biggest issue: Part of me wants to believe that these are just numbers and it doesn’t mean anything, but then that would mean that the good numbers don’t mean anything… like 443 meaning we’ll stay together happily, or 228 meaning he’s not cheating. I’m at a loss and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been able to find treatment. I haven’t told A that I’m experiencing this… part of me wants to but I don’t know how he’d react. It’s like a constant battle. Anyways, if you’re here, thank you for reading. You’re officially the first to know my story ❤️ I hope it wasn’t a rambling mess.
I have been trying not to post on here but I really need some help. I have had ocd for 10+ years Had themes including, contamination, health, existential etc but only had one other debilitating episode But recently I had a thought that felt like a memory from 10+ years ago. It’s very egodistonic and hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. I had extreme anxiety instantly and felt like somehow I had forgot about it all this time as it’s never crossed my mind before. However I know if it had I would have had extreme anxiety which I would have remembered and extreme anxiety after the “event”. I know I wouldn’t do what is in the “memory” but it feels so real It’s been 8 months since then and it has got worse and worse. I have never experienced anxiety and depression as severe as this. I can’t function anymore and feel like I can’t go on. How is this possible. If this is true how could I lived my whole life without thinking about it or any anxiety. It feels very real and no way I can disprove it. Has anyone experienced this? I’ve been doing therapy for 6 weeks with NOCD but I just can’t accept this. It’s unbearable. Is it possible OCD can make up vivid scenarios and then drop them on you. I’ve never done anything bad and can’t live with this. Sorry for the cry for help but I’m struggling so much. Why is my mind doing this? Has anyone recovered from this? Any information from people with similar experiences is greatly appreciated. Thank you
I feel like I have every form of OCD or have gone through it at some point. I’m almost 9 weeks pregnant and my OCD is bad. I’m trying to avoid my compulsions but it’s so hard. What works for you? What techniques help you resist your compulsions?
Hello! I am new here and I'm not sure what to do or say. I honestly was diagnosed with ocd almost 30 years ago. I do believe I had a lot of anxiety and some ocd before hand. In the years that I was diagnosed I was in an abusive relationship that I finally was able to get out of in 1999. During those years my contamination ocd was off the charts. Upon leaving that relationship ( safely.. at least physically for the most part) my ocd calmed down. But I'm not sure if that is because of my leaving or the fact that I was then on pills. Afterwards I was a sleeping pill addict for almost a decade. I finally left the pills behind and I started running marathons. I feel better than I had in decades I've continued running but after a few traumatic experiences with hearing domestic situations in my apartment complex and being robbed twice I find my ocd symptoms coming up with a vengeance. It's more than just contamination now. I'm constantly worried about accidentally hurting someone. I'm always worried that there is an animal in need that I didn't see and/or couldn't help. I feel I can't do enough good in the world. I'm paralyzed. I find myself putting off normal chores and organizational tons that drive me crazy because my ocd wants them so so badly I don't know how else to describe what I'm experiencing. I am also concerned that I have some mild form of Tourette's. I'm so embarrassed and I want to feel normal again. But every trigger seems to prolong my agony. Sorry for the long post and for any writing errors. I can't see very well with my new bifocals. lol
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life