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Finally OCD free after struggling with HOCD for a little while. Just posting this to show that freedom is possible if you keep doing ERP.

Note: Im typing this at 8am and have gotten no sleep so I apologize for all the spelling errors and grammar mistakes. A little over 3 years ago I started work at this new job and while working there I met a guy who was kind of goofy, really cute and funny and played all kinds of instruments. He was just my type. I often gave him rides home from work and during those rides we’d exchange banter over random things. I really liked him and he really liked me. He even offered me piano lessons but for some reason I declined. After a couple weeks my job offered me a position at a different location for a huge pay raise and I decided to take it. I have no idea why but I never thought to get his phone number or instagram or anything like that before I left(maybe I wanted him to make the first move?). He has since left that store and I have no way of reaching out to him. I can’t help but shake the feeling that he’s the one who got away. After about one year in my new position I started daydreaming about me and him. what I had (possibly) missed out on. Sometimes I would even confide in him as an imaginary friend. I’d even think about him laying by my side as I’d go to sleep. I’m aware of how pathetic this sounds now but for some reason I thought nothing of it back then. At first I would only think of him once a month but over time as my depression and anxiety got worse it became more and more. Ive now become deeply concerned with how often I think about him which I think has only made my obsession with him worse. Obviously the problem is my loneliness but I have no idea how to fix that. I have zero social skills and any bonds I do start building I put no effort into keeping them going(as exampled by me not getting this man’s personal information before I left the store) It stresses me out how often I think about him and I have no idea what to do. I just want to stop thinking about him. I’ve also become concerned with what I would do if I actually ran into him again. Would I go ballistic and lose my mind? Would I hurt him? Would I keep it cool? Would my obsessiveness cause me to do something stupid or dangerous? Does anybody have any experience with this type of feeling?

Has OCD ever kicked in whenever you felt God’s presence? I felt like it’s been this way for me many times. I could get peaceful and then thoughts could come into my head and I wouldn’t like it at all. Can OCD do this?

Hi everyone! So one of the ways my ocd has manifested has been through fear of getting sick, being sick or getting someone else sick (guilt) - for the new year I’m really trying to not complain or say anything negative because typically I complain a lot about common things like “my head hurts” “my stomach hurts” “I have this symptom do you think I’m okay?” “Feel my head if I’m not” basically just constantly worrying. I also freak out if someone around me has even a sniffle or anything off of the norm. I also own a lash business where I have clients and I still wear a mask and have a mental internal breakdown if someone comes in seemingly sick. Anyway - since I’m trying really hard for this new year to work on this and scale back on talking about things to my boyfriend friends and family only if it’s really something I’m going to come here for advice instead Today I went to the gym my boyfriend owns and he threw up in the bathroom after sudden nausea. He said it was because he drank coffee too fast and I do believe that then he felt fine. I mopped the bathroom for him incase any throw up missed the toilet since he had to finish his client. Then I left and I did my normal sanitizing of my phone hands and everything as I do when I leave the gym. I tried to remain calm and I got home and did my normal morning routine trying not to think more about it He said he felt fine and normal again still but then about an hour later he texted me that he threw up again but this time blood, and that his friends then said they didn’t feel great (not stomach problems, but just sick) and I was with them all on Monday. So anyways I know these things are inevitable but I’m really trying not to freak myself out. I have to accept if I get sick I get sick but I have extreme fears of being sick especially because I see clients and don’t want to get sick in the middle of an appt randomly if that’s when something would decide to come on How do I deal with these types of things better?

I was practicing an instrument and I was annoyed by my mum because she gave me unwarranted advices about my playing, so after she noticed that I was a little bit upset she wanted to give me a hug to make up but I repeatedly said no because I wasn't in the mood; she tried to do it again so I did a little push to her arms but she weighs much less than me so it looked like I pushed her hard. Did I commit assault?

Anyone been in bedbound situation with pain who has been helped by dealing with ocd fear of pain?

I tend to avoid situations where I feel I could become uncomfortable or anxious, or things can trigger an unwanted thought. Avoidance seems to be the biggest thing I struggle with. Once I get a bad thought about a situation, I want to avoid it as much as possible. my mind runs so many different scenarios of unwanted thoughts happening, which makes me want to avoid the situation altogether. because then I start to feel anxious and panicked and worry “what if something does happen”. It feels like my brain is constantly looking for ways to make me uncomfortable, so it’s easier to avoid situations where I feel like I may feel triggered. I’m not sure how to deal with this. certain situations I can’t avoid. I know I’m going to have to sit through discussions I’ll find uncomfortable. it’s going to ruin my day. And I’ll spend the rest of the day analysing every detail of what happened or how I reacted. im not sure how to combat this.

If I could just go back in time and prevent myself from being so hooked on sexual things my life would be so much better. This has caused so much problems for me. OCD overall, anxiety, very bad sleep, intrusive thoughts, extreme stress, worrying, no motivation, and no enjoyment of life. I feel like a disgusting person and I don't feel like I'm getting closer to where I want to be. It's so hard trying to live my life without this stuff bothering me so much. I can't even envision a life without it besides my childhood. But that's only because I didn't know better. I don't know how I can just live life with all this anxiety and physical wearing and tearing. I was planning to see my therapist today, and I have little to no sleep. I can tell in how red some spots in my eyes are. Those red spots are always there. I'm never not stressed. I just feel hopeless and it feels like I can't keep going further. Nothing suicidal at all, it's just that I'm tired of this. I'm tired of waking up and dealing with the same thing over and over again.

Has anyone else experienced a huge fear of being cheated on & then obsessing over if it is a gut feeling or that little voice in your head that comes along with OCD that just won’t shut up?? Something as simple as finding one of my in-laws shirts that has been used as a rag & covered in oil/ grease in my partners vehicle has sent me spiraling down a hole of “what if” it belongs to another girl, or a girl he’s slept with in the past? Did he cheat on me? Is he lying to me? Although I know the logical answer I still can’t stop asking for reassurance. He’s treated me well and there hasn’t been any indication of him even wanting to cheat. In return I just get mad at the reassurance because “what if” he is lying? I’m frustrated with myself and struggling. This is causing such a strain on my life and in my relationship. Any advice would help.

I've been dealing with a sex addiction for many years now. I've been constantly googling about my situation, desperately wanting to find someone in a similar situation to mine just so I don't feel alone and have someone that understands. I haven't found an exact situation but similar ones and it still doesn't help. I can't help but do this compulsion because I need a distraction from my bad thoughts and physical symptoms. Everytime I try to Google about my situation I get strong groinals and I don't mean to be aroused by this stuff, I just want to find someone that is in the same boat. I read so many different stories just to feel less alone and it sort of helps in the moment but not long term and I just end up coming back to the posts. Several nights I've been struggling with insomnia symptoms and I can't shake them off. I've been worried about this for months now and I just hope it goes away completely and never comes back. Because of this now I'm worried I'm going to develop prostate cancer in the future because of this prostate infection that I have. I don't know if it works like that but now I'm just scared for my health and I don't think it will ever go away

i woke up in the middle of the night about an hour ago and since then i have been having a panic attack and am afraid that i am going to lose control of myself and seriously harm myself. the logical part of me knows i’m not gonna do anything but i am still so scared that i’m going to go crazy and hurt myself. i have dealt with pretty much all of the subtypes of ocd at some point before but this is my first time really having this and i can’t even understand what set it off. would love to know how those of you who have this subtype ground yourself

My wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.. I love my daughter but why to I get this harm intrusive thoughts to harm my baby ... Am I mentally going I'll.. I have other symptoms of knifes, machete and sharp objects... Please help iam going insane

My partner, has been struggling with ocd for about 2 years. How do i help them and know what to say back to them? they are currently seeing a ocd therapist but they still find it hard not to tell me. i was told to not acknowledge them but it’s hard when it’s constant every day. they struggle with ROCD, intrusive thoughts, contamination, and number ocd. i want to help them but it’s hard as someone who dosent have these. Like for example they won’t wear clothes that have touched the door frame, door, wall etc or will tell me their intrusive thoughts and if i ignore they get upset and i just feel bad. i dont want to be a bad partner for not understanding but i am trying and i know it’s hard for them and everyone who struggles with any type of ocd.

hi all, i hope you’re all having a good day today, hopefully. i just wanted to come and ask if you guys think it’s possible for someone to have kids if they possibly have POCD thoughts? honestly, i’ve always really wanted kids, start my own family, etc, but out of the blue i started, not thinking sexually about kids, but started feeling weird-ish around them, and my thoughts flared up with weird things, and it distresses me so so much because i’ve never felt this way ever, i’ve always been fond of kids and have always wanted some of my own until these thoughts came up. i’m not sure how to overcome this because there are various times where i’m totally okay around them but then my mind wants to force itself to think these weird things about them & it confuses me all over again :/

My ocd was already kinda bad today, then I saw my bf and he started talking to me about us moving out (which I wanted at some point…I think 😞) and I’ve never been so anxious. I know I love him, I know he feels like home. But I feel so uncomfortable now and now idek if I truly want to have a future w him. Like I do. When I think about it, I do I know I do. But when I’m with him and the anxiety starts it really feels like I don’t 😭 and then after those feelings started I started having images of being w a girl instead and now i feel like I’m just fighting it and I’m in denial.

i had some control over my obsessions in 2023 but as new year came, everything just got more ruined. ive been obsessing over a guy 4 years ago and since then i feel like ive been living in 2020 only. ive a bf and its making me question my feelings. i also feel 2020 has become my comfort as im scared of future. i find it really hard to get out of 2020 and just being present at the moment. my partner was my comfort but now 2020 has become my comfort and its horrific.

I’m feeling better overall (less time ruminating & way less anxiety) but I’m having trouble letting go of the feeling of “if I feel better and the thoughts don’t bother me, then it’s not OCD anymore” or “see the thoughts are still there after treatment, so you can’t use OCD as an excuse anymore”. I think this doubt/fear is just another trick my brain is trying to play with me but it’s really bothering me now that my brain is telling me that feeling better = it’s not really OCD and I need to accept the thoughts as true. Any advice for this, thank you so much this community has been so helpful, and I wish everyone a happy new year!

Hi, just wanted to post to see if someone can relate or can help me. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality here and there, ever since I can remember. But I was always able to move on from the thoughs as I knew deep down they didn’t align with my values. I’ve recently moved to another country to travel with my long term boyfriend and on the first day here I had an intrusive thought that I couldn’t brush off which triggered my first ever ocd episode. Since then I have convinced myself that I must be bi. I’ve gone through past interactions with women and my brain has changed them into reasons to support being bi. I’ve also thought that because clips of girls in couples came up on my tiktok it must mean the algorithim makes me like these videos. I’ve also remebered times in the past where I’ve been worried about being gay so have done an online sexuality test that came out as me being bi … and at the time that gave me relief because it meant I could still be with my boyfriend and I moved on from the intrusive though. But now I’m thinking back on this and freeking out because I don’t actually consider myself bi. Can anyone else relate to this? I’m having the worst time travelling at the moment because of all of this. It’s as if I don’t know who I am anymore. And because of all this it’s actually made me develop Rocd and made me think horrible things about my relationship with my boyfriend who is my absolute rock and best person in my life and who I want to be with forever. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this. Posting this is also making me very anxious as I’m scared of the responses I might have.😭

I am so happy with my girlfriend, but every time i see a good looking guy i start having thoughts about liking the guy and feeling guilty cause i am in a relationship and even if i would be cuddling with my girl, a random thought about a guy could ruin my mentality, it would make me feel like an impostor and i wanna know if this is normal, i know my ocd can make me question my SO, but i dont want it just to be denial, idk how to differentiate denial from my ocd.

Anyone else low-key dreading the semester starting? I’m a PhD student, and even after all the years of uni and grad school, I still worry myself ill about being ‘better than last semester’ and ‘what I relapse like I did?’ (I had a bad relapse in the fall). Grad school, I’ve been told, is harsh for those with OCD, and I was wondering what others’ experiences were/are in grad school and OCD? Anyone else convince themselves they’ve wormed their ways in and are a fraud/stupid? Just looking to meet and learn more from people!