Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I feel like I am at the top of the age bracket here. I have lived so long with OCD and finally getting targeted help. It fascinates and frightens me. I wish I had this earlier in my life.

I feel like I’ve become more selfish since opening up to my family about ocd. I’ve yet to been diagnosed, but I’ve talked to them about intrusive thoughts during a really bad period. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t open up and kept it to myself. I feel like I expect them to know when something is wrong, and im more focused on myself. I miss how things used to be, and how I could talk to them without them knowing them something is wrong with me. I feel like they treat me differently now, and I’m aware of that in the back of my mind. They don’t call me out of things they would’ve before, and I think I use this as an excuse for my bad attitude at times. I feel like I isolate myself a bit more because of this, but I know I’m in the wrong here.

Does anyone have any tips or advice for handling the OCD flare up during the pre-period time? I have PCOS too and the hormonal changes can rlly make OCD ramp it up in the time before my period. Anyone experiencing a similar thing found ways to improve that?

So, one my friends shared some news about an ex girlfriend. Apparently she is becoming a mother for the first time. When I heard this I felt happy to hear the news, but dramatically I then felt feelings of pain, envy and sadness. We’ve split 5 years ago and both made a pact not to speak to each other ever again. I thought I reached a point where talking about her or hearing news about would not affect me. However it did, I felt sad that she moved on, I feel regrets for losing her and most of all I feel envy that things are looking up for her in life and I am here being a loser trying to recover from alcoholism and keeping OCD in control. I thought time would help me heal, but the reality is that I was drinking and pushing down the feelings of regret and guilt. Now I am literally losing my mind to which at the moment I feel alone but I know I can cope with this. Most of all, I am still sad that she is not my life anymore, however I don’t regret that she has moved on and is happier. “… I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star. In someone else’s sky, but why, why, why! Can’t it be in mine!” Black - Pearl Jam

I am having horrible thoughts on purpose and I don’t know why. I hate having them. Is it ocd related?

Is anyone else scared that when they pee the particles get on you, you can only wear clothes once bc u fear u got poop or pee on them and ur scared u drip and leak. I’m a college student and living in a dorm w ocd is extremely mentally draining especially having to hide it from my Roomate. She knows I have ocd but not the extent. I had PANDAS as a kid and never lost the ocd. I get scared I pee myself when I wake up sweating or wake up having to pee. I hold it in for as long as I can and usually I only wear clothes until I have to use the bathroom bc once I go I’m scared I got urine on them. And TMI but discharge is a whole other story. This may sound crazy but I keep dove soap open by me and wherever I think there’s something I dab some on the spot and that makes me feel better. I’m starting to see a therapist at school so hopefully she can help with this but it’s really stressful. Having this type of OCD in a dorm is rlly hard😅

I feel like I have to great rid of someone out of my life because they used a horrible word and I stood up and said absolutely not do not use that word it’s wrong and I educated them but because they used it all of social media is saying that because I love them then I’m just as bad when I’m not I’m literally the person who’ll never ever be like that, and I’m not trying to justify it at all, I do love them and up until this point I’ve never heard this word be said so me standing up and saying absolutely not do not say that, I’m educating and this doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be with them right? It doesn’t mean I’ve got to stop and throw them out of my life right? TikTok is stresssinf me out, everyone is you’re just as bad as the person you love if they say something you disagree with. But if I stand up for what I disagree with then I’m not as bad? But then they say you have to leave that perosn out of your life if they say something you disagree with and I just don’t believe that. A good perosn can say something stupid and then be corrected to learn that what they said isn’t okay, that they can learn and grow that’s how we develop as humans. We learn from mistakes and educate ourselves. Right?? Social media jusr stressed me out and I can’t stop thinking

I’m moving from a group art studio into my own space tomorrow and I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m going to throw up from anxiety and I’m crying because I feel like I’m going to fail before I get started. My friends are excited to help but it feels like I’m taking advantage of them. Everyone wants to see me win but it feels like I don’t deserve it. I feel selfish. I have harm OCD and I’m really struggling with keeping my violent thoughts under control so I can try to sleep so I can be on time tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin the day tomorrow by not waking up on time. It feels like I can’t breathe.

My knees hurt really badly and I went on Google which made me panic even more. I've been going to the gym every day for more than a week and the pain got worse. I tried to not weight lift and instead walk and bike more. But now im panicked because of the pain. It feels like it might be bad

Feeling like I am mourning a bit for all the years of OCD, and for all the days that have been so difficult to get through the day, where I get stopped and have to put in a lot of effort mentally before I can go back to my daily tasks. Ended up in tears tonight. I barely ever cry. In some ways, I feel like death. I am not suicidal. I don’t mean that. But it’s a good description for how I feel. I don’t know what to do with myself. And I don’t know what to do to go forward. No one understands me. I know you all do. But almost everyone does not, and my immediate family does not. They do not know how hard things have been. I am tired of all the effort it takes to get through the day. I am so tired from all my daily effort that I don’t have energy to express myself and how I feel inside. And it seems like no one in this world really cares anyway. I say this not as a pity party, but because it’s true. People don’t care about each other anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself tonight. I am going to go downstairs and eat some food. Then, after I have been sad for a while, I am going to get back into life…This is the decision that I have made. I am tired of never letting anyone know how I feel inside. I am tired of people not understanding. I am tired of all my confusion and my perfectionism. I am tired of my constant fear. I am tired of all the effort it takes to do anything in life because mentally I am trying to keep myself safe. I don’t know what to do with the “tiredness.” It’s there every day. I don’t know how to move beyond my issues. I have constant confusion, overthinking, and fear.

lately i’ve been having pretty bad ocd days but today was definitely one of my worst days. i just feel like such an awful person and the ocd is really eating at me. i try really hard, or i feel like i do sometimes. i try to talk to my mom and she says she understands but she doesn’t- and i hate it. i can’t even get dressed in certain clothing or watch a show i like anymore without ocd interfering. my mind is all over the place and i feel so helpless. i just wish it’d stop.

this is something ive been struggling with for a long time but didnt realize it was also another part of my ocd until yesterday. i tried googling to see if theres a name for it. the only thing that comes up is Moral Scrupulosity but thats not really what i struggle with. anyway, social media is making my ocd go absolutely haywire and its a similar feeling to how i felt in 2020-2022. going online makes me feel like im this horrible person while i see others posting things like “if you dont do ____ then ur ugly/a horrible person/etc”. do you guys have any methods on how to deal with this? one of my solutions im gonna do soon is completely log off on certain social media sites to help ease the mental anguish.

for context i am a big people pleaser and am still in contact/friends with my ex. last weekend i was telling him about my sexual experiences with another guy i’ve been talking to. moral of the story i told my ex after and hour he never made me finish. now this wasn’t a big deal to me nor was it a bad experience but i gave my ex details and am scared i was making fun of the guy im talking to by telling him this. i also told him this because i knew it would make him feel better about himself/people pleasing. i guess im just worried i was making fun of him because i said he didn’t make me finish after an hour and scared i added lmao to the end of that. i don’t remember if i did but it just makes me feel guilty. i never said the experience was bad.

I'm a complete loser and lost case .... I have had the same ocd thought that has taken my dream job away and made my life so small and still don't have success in getting a job because of my ocd it's been seven years .... I am now getting TMS everyday but I'm a broken woman angry and in pain

i am really really struggling. recently people haven't been answering me on here and i feel insane. i am at 150 mg of sertraline and i technically feel better but it's freaking me out. im scared because my obsessions are lessened so does that mean i don't care anymore?!? im really scared of going insane, cheating, being a bad person. the obsessions of these ideas are causing me to actually get upset outwardly which makes it seem even more real. i also have been thinking i may have bpd and that's consuming and im scared and idk why. please help me please

And mental health in general? So I have suffered really badly with ocd for 4 years and I'm beginning to think that I am overcomplicating beating it. I haven't worked since 2020 and since then my ocd and mental health have just got worse and worse to the point that I literally do nothing more than watch tv every day of my life. I have had loads of counselling and some erp and didn't feel like any of it helped. I'm starting to think that I have done too much overthinking and talking about what I think my problems are when really all that is doing is creating me problems and what I actually need to do is just go back to work and exercise now. Please any feedback or opinions is much appreciated because I am starting to feel like I can't bare feeling this way anymore

So before I got severe OCD and had to be saddle with benzos and Seroquel I use to have a date night with a hubby at home having a few drinks and YouTube 80s music but the last few months I refuse to drink and it even panics me because if I'm going to have a few drinks I have to hold my Klonopin and Seroquel for that one day. I want to go ahead and do that but I'm afraid of having an anxiety attack while enjoying a few drinks because I will have to sit with anxiety without taking as needed anxiety meds. What do I do? I just want to have a fun date night again with a few drinks and music

Is anyone else on here who is a Christian, struggling with the back and forth of letting the thoughts pass, but also feeling the constant NEED to fight them because were supposed to “take our thoughts captive” and I don’t want to feel like I’m accepting the thoughts and feelings as truth. Sometimes what people advise to do in the church can seem Contradictory to the practices of ERP I feel like it’s a vicious cycle and trap for my mind of how to actually healthily cope with all of this crap. Like I know there’s a healthy balance and combination and validity in the fact that just not fighting it so hard doesn’t mean your accepting it as truth. Like I can think logically about it but then still feel stuck like it’s impossible and I don’t know which way is the right way.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

This so called “effective” treatment of ocd is not at all working my stress levels are getting higher my blood pressure is going out of control I’m overwhelmed and exhausted my brain doesn’t stop thinking and thinking and thinking the stress is killing me erp is failing horribly because I’m not able to sit with the discomfort I don’t know how you people do it because it’s not working I’m trying to go back to doing compulsions because erp simply does not work