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the NOCD Community

Can it take a week to a month?

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with health anxiety and obsessing over every little thing thinking I have something wrong with me. I’ve been googling symptoms and now I’m scared I have cancer, a brain tumor, or brain aneurysm. How do I stop doing this to myself? 😞

Do someone here daydreaming and notice it goes wrong? And you getting so much anxiety and start thinking about it...? Like do you start thinking you did on purpose?

I’ve had OCD for a year now. At the beginning I didn’t have much anxiety, just a lot of intrusive thoughts, time passed, now I still do have intrusive thoughts but I have more depersonalization in a way I never heard of before & I need to know if it’s part of OCD or who else is going through this: I no longer feel real, like if my life is shown of a VR play, it’s not hard to remember past memories but definitely don’t feel like I’ve lived them, my brain feels so full in a weird uncomfortable way; like just how your physical body gets dirty with dirt, I feel that way but ofc on my brain. If I feel a tiny bit angry or feel any emotion by just a little, it extends so much more out of no where, overall I feel SO fake, I forgot what normal feels like, my pills won’t work currently waiting for my therapy, like I want to know who else is going through this please! go ahead & write how you feel also, I just don’t wanna be alone in this .. it’s completely out of my control now.

It wants me to engage in compulsions surrounding school in September to ensure I won't be a failure. I also am in the middle of my spring semester, worried about my math class but still pushing regardless. Anything? Guys please answer, this is scary, I'm afraid what will happen if I don't do the compulsions that I also have to do now and in September

Im worried that I abused him and that’s why he snapped and treated me the way he did. My boyfriend and I met when I was 15 and he was 20. We dated for two years and I told my parents both times about us but he broke up with me both times because he was in love with someone else. They banned me from seeing him because they said he was horrible and a loser but I didn’t believe them so I saw him anwyays. Two years into it he was begging for me to come back even when I had a boyfriend so I broke up w my boyfriend to be with him. He told me that he actually didn’t wanna be in a relationship but eventually we ended up together but I told him that we had to be careful because my parents would break us up if we were together and they found out. He said he wanted to see me so I bought him tickets to seee me but I told him if my parents found out we wouldn’t be able to see eachother. They found out and he broke up with me because he said I made him fall for me all over again just for my parents to not let us be together. He said he would come back if it was meant to be etc… he ended up coming back and I took him back but he would leave and I would beg for him back I would tell him if he got his shit together by not being an alcoholic and gettting a job we could be together but my parents weren’t gonna let us be together untik eh did that and he said it was my fault for leading him on. I ended up taking him back but said we couldn’t be official until he got his drinking under control and he called me abusive I knew I was gonna tell my parents at some point but I wanted to wait until I knew for sure he got his drinking under control or actually got a job or went back to school like he promised he would so I wouldn’t be telling them just for him to break my heart again and then banning him from seeing me forever. My dad had told me before I went to school if I got back together with him before he got his shit together he would make me drop out and force me to come home. I told my bf this and he never really said much about it and at first I said it would be years before we could be together if he didn’t wanan change but I told him that if he got his shit together I would tell my parents and we could be together. He ended up getting his shit together and I said that I would tell my parents. He applied to school and I waited for him to actually start going. He ended up going so I told my parents but first I eventually realized my dad couldn’t actually kick me out of school but I kept it a secret for about three months because I was scared he would break his promise to me again/ cheat on me again . I ended up telling my parents because he said if I wanted to be his girlfriend I would have to go to Florida where he lives and in order to do that I would have to tell my parents cuz his parents disnt want him to date me unless my parents were okay with it. So I told them and they ended up being okay with it. We dated for three months and then broke up with me. Am I the asshole?

When someone does something bad to me and people take their side without even knowing. My mind starts talking to itself. Like one side of my mind tells people that this is not true what you think. The reallity is opposite. And the other side of my side starts giving me answers from their side and put more blame on me and accuse me falsely like as if they would do this to mw. I dont want to think anything. I dont care what people thinks or if accuse me but my mind just wants to clear it up. Does anyone feels like this? How to stop thinking?

So I upped my Prozac dose to 40mg 4 days ago and the anxiety I’m feeling is HORRIFIC. The physical symptoms are horrible it’s like I can’t relax or try and calm down no matter what I do. Is this normal?? I’m going through a really bad ocd episode at the moment and the thoughts seem a little less scary in part thanks to ERP but I have such horrific anxiety right now I don’t even know what I’m anxious about anymore and it’s stressing me out.

i saw someone post something on instagram and it said “if god tells you something listen” or something along those lines. and i have harm thoughts and then had a thought that was like “what if god is telling me to do this” which then progressed to “if god is telling you then you have to” kinda thing and now i’m freaking tf out anyone have any experience like this? and like i dont even really believe super hard in that kind of thing so im like freaked

i’m looking to get on medication so i was just wondering

(Trigger warning bc my parents are bullies lol) After six months of applying to and visiting various places, I FINALLY heard back from a grocery store. Set up an interview for tomorrow. I was overjoyed, felt my life was finally looking up, and I went to tell my family. Everyone was happy for me, that is, until my dad found out. Cue two hours of yelling, insults, and tears. My dad told me if I work at a grocery store, then that means he and my mom failed as parents. I was told I was better than this, that I should not be aiming for places where former criminals go. That I would be bullied and harassed by employees because I’m “smart” and “better than them” (the audacity of my dad to suggest I was better than anyone w a lower education was nasty af). He told me they wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars on me in college expenses just so I could work in a grocery store (MY FIRST job ever by the way, because I wasn’t allowed to work until I graduated college). He told me working part time for “experience” makes no sense and that no successful place will want to hire me after seeing I worked at a grocery store after college. My dad told me I should be at some successful firm as an economist, even though that’s NOT what I want! He asked why I even studied economics to begin with, when what happened (although he will claim to not remember) is he MADE me major in it, telling me I can pursue my true passion (graphic art and theatre) after I get a good degree. I was LIED TO. Everything I did was to impress him! Studied tirelessly in school, got all A’s, went to the college HE asked for, went for the degree HE asked for, all to get metaphorically slapped in the face because I chose an easy first job. Now I have zero motivation for this interview tomorrow. Sounds like my dad is not allowing me to work there. He told me that if I do, then I am not allowed to quit for six months no matter how much I get bullied or harassed, and that he won’t save me. He’s also going to put me into driving school so I will have no time to work (which makes sense, but it’s a long story why I don’t have my license…). And he’s also going to make me apply for jobs HE wants me to be in. Guys, I’m going to fail this interview…I was so happy. I thought I was doing good. Now I feel like an utter failure.

I get anxiety when i have to take my child to the park and be around other kids. I worry the kid was in front of me playing with my child and i worry was i leaning or moving toward them so i stepped away if i recall and avoid kids. I like literallt awkwardly walk swsy to avoid any close contact but Im worried did i do anything inappropriate or did i walk away. I dont think i did anything wrong

Has anyone ever had an intrusive thought or false memory about a person and then some time later in the future that person says something like what your thought/false memory was about happened to them and you immediately think it was you even though you know it was just ocd and now you doubt and question yourself?

i remember when i was 13 i was on instagram and i used it to lol for porn videos and this one video came up and seemed normal to me and im worried that it was unethical or bad because they people weren't smiling like they just had straight faces and know i don’t remember what their face looked like because ive thought about it so much and what if they had a sad face and i can’t remember but i think i might be overthinking that aspect of it but they both seemed willing because of their body language and i don't want to be stereotypical but they were indian and people always say how sometimes indian men can treat indian women badly sometimes and i thought it would be okay to pleasure myself to witch i did but i stopped because i had this immense guilt after and felt suicidal because i was so scared that what if it wasn't ethical and im terrified ive done something wrong, im feeling awful right now and i dont know what to do.i always remember trying to be very careful of what i was watching but i am 16 and cant let go of this and its torture

Does anyone else feel like they just don’t want to do anything even when they aren’t obsessing? I feel like I’m pulling teeth to move.

I’ve been wanting to further my own self help when it comes to OCD since I don’t have access to therapy just yet. Please give me your best recommendations !!❤️‍🩹

Ok so this Friday I wanted to go to training and usually I’m always in a cabin alone bc the rest always splits up into different ones but I wanna stay alone. But then while I was standing there charging and using my phone, a little girl walked in. And now is the thing: based on all what k remember and that I know and am 100% sure happened that way, I instantly started to feel bad and decided to leave the cabin. I plugged out my phone, packed my stuff into my bag, put my jacket out first and then came back another time to get the rest of my stuff. But the thing is that the second I left the cabin, I started doubting „what if I had assaulted her?“ and like I still remember going to the toilet a couple of seconds after that and while being on the toilet I thought „yes no nothing had happened“ and I mean my memories were still extremely accurate there but the doubt wouldn’t leave me. Like I just kept thinking „but what if I did?“ and no matter how often I go back in my memories proving to myself that I literally hadn’t remembered this at any point and barely even saw that girl bc I just instantly ran out of the cabin and that that’s obviously not even the point of running away. I also remember I was on my phone right afterwards. So basically I was on my phone before she had walked in and right after. Makes not even a minute of not using my phone. And she only changed her shoes from what I know. I didn’t even look at her. But I keep and keep on doubting that. Even though I remember everything else really well. I even remember I had chuckled at something on my phone right before she had walked in and then stopped when I saw her and ran out of the cabin. I also remember that I was hurrying up extra much to get out as fast as possible. Basically I remember everything and I even thought pretty surely that nothing had happened maybe a minute after. But I’m still doubting that. Like, wouldn’t I remember that? Especially since I didn’t have any memory to doing this right afterwards.. Idk how to get rid of this thought like I know how to trust my memories but then I still doubt it even tho I know I’d remember it

I've been on Zoloft for about 39 days now and I've noticed a positive change. However, I've had an 'Aha!' moment. Sometimes, I get an intrusive thought and start to ruminate, but then something distracts me and hours later, I realize I stopped thinking about it. At first, I was worried, thinking, "Why am I not ruminating or trying to understand these thoughts? That's dangerous," because I often ruminate mentally. Then it dawned on me that my OCD had traumatized me into believing I needed to think constantly to protect myself from nonexistent dangers. I was so used to being trapped in my head, thinking it was keeping me safe, but it was actually keeping me from living my life. We're not meant to think all the time; we should be able to live without constantly checking our thoughts.

Hi everyone, I’m new here and this is my first post. For about a year now I have not drank any tap water (not even filtered). Somehow I became convinced a while back that my tap water was not safe to drink straight from the tap, and shortly after that I became convinced that filtered tap water was contaminated too (and that the filters themselves are somehow contaminated). Logically I know none of it makes sense, and I’m not even sure what I am afraid of happening if I do drink it. It doesn’t feel like a fear of getting sick, just an intense sense of dread at the thought of drinking the water. I also have some problems with drinking bottled water especially if I feel like I can taste the plastic. So I have almost exclusively drank canned sparkling water for a year now. Has anyone dealt with similar contamination fears?

so I just wanna know if the ERP is working or not. I still have a lot of repetitive thinking, but I don’t get anxiety around it anymore. I’m more or less emotion wise. Just get annoyed and tired that it is still trying to be repetitive in my mind. So I’m just curious is the ERP working or do I need to push a little harder?