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How can you do exposure therapy? like I’m not in therapy but how is it out there for you guys?

So I’m getting treatment in person and today I had a phone call and it was basically asking questions to see if it is ocd.like an assessment. On the phone there was a lot of questions and I had to answer with numbers So for example she would say a statement “I excessively wash” and then I answer on how much I experience it : 1-not at all 2-a little 3-moderately 4-all the time But now I feel like I lied for some questions and just that I’m lying that I have ocd and using it as an excuse and that I’m just not bad enough. Like I’m scared I’m lying saying I experience some of the things. Like my head lately keeps saying that I’m putting it on and that I don’t have it or using it as an excuse I’m scared what if I don’t have it like right now it’s telling me I’m lying. I feel like I’m making it all up Because a lot of questions around ocd I never hear them talk or ask me about a lot of themes like Pocd Rocd So ocd So when I don’t experience things they ask about like symmetry , ordering or harming others it makes me feel like I don’t have ocd

I’ve been posting a lot lately because I’ve been super scared of an old theme coming back. All because of a TikTok I saw about someone who potentially was going to hurt their pet. I’ve had ugly themes like this before but it was a long time ago and I got over it but now because of this TikTok I saw-I feel it coming back and I’m scared I don’t want to think those thoughts again or make connections to my past that weren’t a big deal- If there’s someone who overcame an old theme, how did you do it? What did you when it was coming back? I just want to feel normal for once without this crap.

I looked back at my life wondered if I did terrible things and just don't remember and as much as I can sit here today and say to myself I know I would do that, and I could never forget if I did... I still can't trust myself. I hate this

I’m still a minor and living with my mother. I want to talk to a doctor about OCD because I fall into place with quite a few symptoms. The only issue is I need to convince my mom. She literally scares me, so it’s hard talking to her. And with stuff like this she typically yells at me and tells me I’m being dramatic. She doesn’t listen to how I feel till it bugs her. For instance, I injured my knee about 6 months ago while figure skating. It took her two months of me complaining to finally LOOK at my knee. She ended up taking me to a doctor where I was told I needed physical therapy, an x-ray, that I injured a lot of tissue and muscle, and that my kneecap wasn’t in place correctly. Moral of the story, something was wrong for months and she didn’t bother to care for it till she decided it was time. I’m worried she’ll push this off. Or punish me in a way because I’m “trying to be mentally ill” But this OCD stuff has been happening since I was younger, but keeps adding more. If anyone has any advice please tell me. Is there any way you think I could get her to let me speak to someone? Or any way I could “prove” my case? As an extra detail my mom works at a place that deals with mentally ill people, and lots of people who have ocd. There has always been a running joke that I’m autistic, because I count lights, and do a lot of weird stuff. One day while in the car she was talking to someone and whispered “but what she does (as in me) isn’t Autism, that’s all ocd” And that’s when my world clicked into place. I started doing research and found it easy to relate to ocd folks. She hasn’t mentioned it since. Anyways, thank you for reading. Have a good day stranger :) Take care

What even is the difference? Lately I’ve been terrified of subconscious memories, it’s been a huge fear that my false memory is a subconscious memory rather than false? Especially as it contains a real detail. Mine false memory for example started as a ‘what if’ then moved onto a flashing image , then moved onto me ruminating adding details getting muddled with reality and imagination etc, and now I’m stuck. I’m currently just rotting away in bed. I don’t see any point in anything i think this is the lowest point of my life.

The last month I’ve been hyper focusing/obsessing about falling asleep and thus it’s caused anxiety and keeps me up every night. I’m not sure how to do ERP around this and I want to get normal sleep again but it’s like my brain won’t shut off whenever I go to bed. Anyone have any tips?

Hi all! I am asking for ‚reassurance‘ and in this case I think it’s ok - and also, If anybody else experienced this. I am in therapy for 1,5 years now with this psychoanalysis therapist. She is great at what she does, but not for my OCD. Last year it got so bad and I went to the hospital for 2 months cause my ocd just flared up so badly. She helped me with my trauma a lot (father sa‘d me for years and only with her I remembered with flashbacks). Though she sees each ocd thought with direct correlation to my trauma. Which def could be the case, but it did not help me one bit. In fact, I am where I was now one year later contemplating if I shall go to the mental hospital again. The fact that there is a ‚reason‘ implied for each obsessive thought that pops my mind (e.g. cheating thought when looking at my fiancé is creating distance because I project my fathers relationship into my fiancé and then i get scared) - could be, but how does it help me? Or the fact that she says my ocd flares up when I’m angry cause I get thrown into that child-like anger from when my father abused me, which but I don’t even remember how I felt (which is great, it’s dissociation‘s purpose).how does it help me though?! I know that it actually worsened my condition cause now I realize I was ruminating all fuxking day long about the associative meaning of that stupid thought. Until yesterday I hurt myself again cause I was very close to giving up (dramatic I know, but it’s how it felt yesterday). Why did it take me so long to let her go? I wrote an email this morning to her saying that I want to change therapy style and that I want to talk about it with her… it got so bad I was questioning my reality yesterday … like 100% didn’t know what was real… Did any of you have a similar experience ? And do any of you have a good tip now to get out of this cycle myself? Thank you!!!

Deep down I feel like I’ll never be able to truly fall in love. I feel like I wasn’t made for loved and I feel like everything inside of me is making it impossible for me to just truly love my partner. It’s so heartbreaking and infuriating. I’ve just accepted the fact that I’ll never be able to love the way everyone else can, and that’s not fair to my partner. I don’t know what to do.

This message is LONG and extensive, but for people trying to treat OCD for the first time or who have been unsuccessful so far with treatment, I wanted to provide the info I’ve gathered throughout all my research. I separated the options into medications, therapies, and procedures for organization, but combining different forms of treatment is always most effective. MEDICATIONS: — SSRIs: (Zoloft, Paxil, Fluoxetine, Luvox, Prozac, citalopram, escitalopram) These are the go-to meds for OCD as they act specifically on serotonin w/ less side effects compared to other antidepressants. Though many still have bad side effects on these meds, and often SSRIs are nowhere near as effective as they should be. — Clomipramine: This is an older antidepressant called a tricyclic. Some may consider this the first line of treatment for OCD, as far as meds go. It has considerably more side effects than SSRIs since it’s not as specific in what it targets in the brain. Though for whatever reason, clomipramine remains a highly prescribed option. Just make sure to monitor any effects. — Antipsychotics: (Abilify, Risperdal, Seroquel, etc.) These medications are primarily used for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia (Abilify can also be used an add-on if already taking an SSRI). Many of these drugs are known for their action on dopamine, but affect many other neural systems as well. Side effects can be bad, not first line of treatment. — N-acetyl cysteine (NAC): This is actually an amino acid that’s prescribed for respiratory/sinus issues, but it has been shown to possibly have beneficial effects in lessening OCD symptoms. Doses for OCD are higher than for sinuses, and working up may be necessary. The pill sometimes stinks, like it smells, but like come on who cares. — L-Tryptophan: This chemical is a precursor to serotonin, and there has been some evidence to suggest l-tryptophan can alleviate symptoms. However, it would stand to reason that it might make a lot more sense just to take an SSRI, since those act on serotonin already. Taking l-tryptophan will not likely cause any side effects but will not be too very effective. — Ketamine/Esketamine (Spravato): Ketamine is a dissociative anesthetic, so in very high doses it can cause out-of-body sensations and extreme sedation, but it has also been found to be beneficial in treating OCD, displaying fairly impressive rates of symptom reduction. Ketamine acts on a receptor site in your brain called an NMDR glutamate receptor. New meds that affect glutamate are currently being tested, including one that NOCD is testing👀. So this is likely an avenue we’ll see explored more in the future! However right now, insurance does not cover ketamine for OCD, so you’re looking at around $3000-$5000 total for treatment. Esketamine (Spravato) is a nasal spray form of ketamine, and insurance does cover it! Though, ketamine given through an I.V. in a clinical setting is much more effective than nasal esketamine. The chemical structure of the drug and the way it enters your body matter considerably with this treatment. Hopefully ketamine with be covered by insurance for OCD soon. Regardless, please…do not attempt to self-medicate with ketamine. It’s not safe outside of a clinical setting and without proper dosing. THERAPIES: — Exposure/Responsive Prevention therapy (ERP/ExRP): This is the “gold standard” therapy option for treating OCD. It’s most effective when used with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is next on this list. The patient is exposed to their “triggers,” and this becomes gradually more intense over time. The patient resists the urge to complete a compulsion, and sits with their anxiety until it lessens on its own, hopefully within 15-30 mins. Over time, exposures become more triggering, and the patient is able to do more with less anxiety. The goal is “maximally violating” (I know, it’s bad, I’m sorry) what you hope will happen in a situation. When ERP is used with CBT, the ERP is done first, followed directly by the CBT part of the therapy—the patient thinks through their experience with the exposure, and considers everything they learned from the situation that concerns all the ways that they’re still okay and doing fine. Example: “Oh well, even if my light switch really wasn’t turned off last night, I’m still alive & well, the bulb still works, no electricity fire started, etc….” The ERP is much more effective when used with CBT like this. — Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This form of therapy is much more effective when used with ERP, as mentioned above. But in general, while this therapy doesn’t involve exposure to anxiety, it can help you rewire your mind, changing how you perceive your OCD, what strategies you have to use when you’re really struggling in a moment, and how you take care of yourself. PROCEDURES: — Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS): This is a relatively new for of treatment initially approved for depression. While it’s not FDA-approved for OCD yet (is incredibly expensive), there is substantial evidence suggesting TMS is beneficial. If you research it, it may sound like electroshock therapy, but this is not the case at all. In CBT, there is a very controlled current sent into a very specific part of the brain, for very specific periods of time, etc. Electroshock therapy was wildly general and didn’t really target anything specific. The currents were also way too high. TMS is a safe and effective treatment option. Just keep your eyes peeled for FDA-approval! — Psychosurgery: I very nearly left this off, as it’s incredibly extreme and is a last-resort for those who can’t function and have tried all other options. Like other procedures, these have become much more controlled, precise, and strategic in recent decades. Though these operations are still very invasive and irreversible. Often, significantly small lesions (areas of cell damage or death) will be made in parts of the brain that are key to OCD. Once neurons are dead, they’re dead, that’s it, bye), so the result is permanent cell death in those areas that should reduce symptoms. Though, again, this is not something surgeons like to do unless is absolutely necessary.

I’m so tired of this. Life shouldn’t be like this and I think I’m just at my breaking point. I just want to live a normal life and be happy but I guess you can’t get everything you hope for. I pray every night for God to just take me. I want to live but not like this.

My partner is away this week. What’s more, my period is coming up and my ocd always gets worse because of hormones. Even in the best of circumstances, I deal with feelings of loneliness and intrusive thoughts about loneliness, being a bad friend and being a bad person. I have friends, some lifelong ones even, but I never quite feel whole. Or like it’s enough. Or if I feel good while hanging out, the loneliness creeps in after I leave the hang and ocd tells me to review everything I said (I have gotten better at resisting this compulsion). The hard thing is that this loneliness makes it harder to reach out to friends or even strike up conversations with random people I might see in my day to day. Ocd tells me terrible things when I feel lonely and it’s hard to not believe those terrible things. Anyone else go through this? Any tips on exposures? I’ve reached out to two close friends just letting them know I feel down. I booked an extra therapy appt just because the feelings are intense and my partner is away. I was planning to go to a support group if the timing works out. Just feels really hard to do anything, like a big slog, but I’m just kind of dragging myself along. Thanks for reading.

*Before beginning, I just want to clarify that when I describe these sx’s (symptoms) as “weird,” I mean what an average person without OCD would probably consider weird. I don’t judge them, but do still admittedly feel considerable embarrassment if I experience them in public.* In general, most of these triggers during high stress or when things in my life seem out of control. My best guess is that the anxiety relief I feel from fulfilling a compulsion helps me feel like I have a little more “control” and things are okay. This isn’t a thought process I actively have when obsessing, but more like a feeling based on what makes my sx’s worse and when they pop up. Some of these sx’s are associated w/ intrusive thoughts, but sometimes it’s just like everything “feels wrong” if I don’t do the compulsion correctly. I came up with random names for the sx’s: 1) “Reorienting in space” - sometimes I feel the need to say certain things (like if talking to myself) or think certain things facing specific direction. I’d experienced this before, “grew out of it,” and now it’s somewhat back. It used to be like I had to face East, or north, or whatever, but now it’s more based on facing specific objects. So like facing a doorway, facing the front of my house, or even the direction of a specific place in my city, etc. It’s STRANGE but yeah so there’s that. 2) “Overcoming imagined barriers” - so this isn’t really something that bothers me much at all anymore, but it still stands out as one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had with OCD. This trigger is similar to the last one, except in addition to facing a certain way, I would imagine a literal barrier that exists like somewhere up ahead of me, and I would have to convince myself I’m physically moving past that barrier in order to feel like I’m “in the clear” and like I have “control.” Often the first barrier I imagined wouldn’t suffice. It wasn’t far enough away, it wasn’t “strong enough,” etc. It would often take me upwards of 10 attempts or more every time this would occur in order to move on. After typing this out I understand my brain 10 times less. 3) “Desire for control of others’ behaviors, events, & objects” - so this isn’t as extreme as it might sound, I don’t like try to control people. It’s more like I’ll have to wait until someone stops coughing to put my phone down, waiting until someone stops speaking to proceed with whatever I was doing. Or waiting for train noises to stop, cars to stop going by, to mentally “move on.” Though I’ve found it’s been getting more out of control lately, and I’m not helping things by reinforcing the symptoms ever time I complete the compulsion. I’m sure there are other odd ones I can think of, but these 3, especially the first 2, take the cake 🎂 for me. If ANYONE can relate to ANY of this I’d be cool to know I’m not the single weirdest homo sapien there ever was, but I’ll be happier for you if you can’t relate.

Did my first therapy session today after going back and forth on if it was worth the extreme cost. Spoiler alert: all we did was go through a questionnaire I could have done myself. I feel like it was an absolute waste of money.. anyone else?

Hi, I hope that you’re all doing well whoever sees this. Since march I’ve been dealing with pocd, despite not being diagnosed I show many symptoms of OCD and one of my first symptoms of pocd was anxiety and a groinal response from listening at a video talking about a horrible monster and what he did to innocent kids and I’m just not sure on what I have but god pocd just feels so real, I hope I’m not a freak but the intrusive urges, intrusive feelings, intrusive thoughts are just horrible I want the old me a month and half ago back.

Why does suicidal ocd feel like actual suicidal thoughts 😟

So am I the only one or am I going insane?????? My daughter was standing beside me and I was putting a band-aid on her finger and my brain said I can't wait to kill you.......?🥺😨😰😰 what's happening to me.? I've got to be the only person? Like can't be OCD..

i have been having a really depressive couple of months and i am having an especially bad day. I have never really had suicidal thoughts until this spring, but they keep spreading like wildfire. I would never do such a thing or even plan out taking my own life. I am not one to give up that easy and there are so many things I love about my life and so many people who need me. There are so many things I have yet to live and I am excited to see!!! I think it may just be a really intense intrusive thought. It pops into my head really graphically and it immediately upsets me to a point of panic attack, because for just one moment it feels like the only path. Today it has been happening like every thirty minutes since i’ve been awake and I really just want it to stop. Is this normal for others?? How do you get it to calm down. [I think I am planning on calling a hotline tonight, i’m not going to tell them i’m actually thinking about it(because i’m not). I just really need someone to talk to. I just wish it could be someone who knows me but I don’t want to worry them. No one in my life really understands my OCD very well, they kind of just think it’s basic level cleanliness and obsessive thought OCD.]

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” and the scariest of them all…”why would a see a doctor if this is all real” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

everytime i see a kid or hear any words related to children i get immediate intrusive thoughts and terrible groinal responses :( the sensations feel so real. i have no anxiety anymore its been like this for a while i use to have terrible anxiety with my ocd but now its just shame and worry:( and sadness/dread. i hate this. my brain literally tells me im a p, and i believe it, it sounds and feels so real :(