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Can not sleep because my brain won’t switch off Can never get to sleep anymore because of overthinking too much It’s 3:31 and feel like tomorrow is ruined because I’m going to be tired and when I’m tired my ocd is 10xworse and my mood

My POCD randomly triggered over a friendship I have with someone who is eighteen. I’m sixteen and I have no intention of dating them however we do make jokes and are very affectionate. Nothing bad, normal internet friendships but it’s making me nervous that I’m somehow a victim or something even though I have no issues with it. Is this okay?

I feel guilty I’m feeling this way because I know people going through worse stuff than me right now so I can’t speak to them and feel so alone I feel like I’m making it up and putting on “bad mental health” and that I’m actually fine but if that’s the case why am I feeling so drained and struggling to get through the day Constantly having thoughts of s3lf harm again I don’t know what this feeling is anymore and I don’t even know what’s what I feel a mess I can’t explain what’s going on inside my head

I'm 17, and Im really obsessed with the idea that my mum could get cancer and I feel like I have to pray that she doesn't and every time I walk past a picture of God I can't be ignorant I'll have to pray. My thought process just now: 'Ok, so you don't take an hour praying, tell God you'll be done within 5 minutes and then you'll have to keep your word' Please god, help my mum not to get cancer, and all the other things I pray for I end up repeating this phrase again and again I could finish within the 5 minutes but something tells me this is offending God so I have to take longer I am exhausted from repeating it again and again Then I say 'I will only repeat this 5 more times and then trust you God, honestly' I end up repeating it 6 times by accident. I feel so bad I beg god for mercy and then I touch the wall once I feel like that was a sign of mercy somehow, I touch the picture behind God and then I tell God to give me all of that bad karma and not my mum To solidify this I have to touch the wall twice I can't see a psychiatrist but I have this kind of thing in my head 24/7 especially at night and when I'm trying to revise I can literally only focus when I promise to God that I will otherwise my head is just spiralling with thoughts like this Am I crazy :( I feel like I am

Can someone please tell me I’m not alone? Can you share your experience with getting intrusive S3xual thoughts please Because I feel like it’s not talked about and it’s something I really struggle with and I’m scared I’m the only one getting these disturbing and fucked up thoughts and scared I want them and that it’s actually me and not my ocd For example : I feel like I’m constantly constantly getting S3xualised thoughts of people I’m related to especially when I’m trying to have S3xual time

I have religious OCD. I love God & Jesus so much! But I’ve notice I get nervous when videos come up about God & Jesus because I get intrusive thoughts & feelings. For example randomly I’ll get negative feelings or thoughts on a sweet video of someone talking about God and how good He is. But it’s like sometimes my body (feelings) and mind (thoughts) will throw these things at me and make me feel a different way sometimes. I don’t like it! Does anyone else get this? Any advice?

I just did an exposure of looking at naked women and it kind of took a turn for the worst. I did one on Tuesday and it went great with no rumination, but today I felt aroused and then started googling. And everyone said I was a lesbian or bi for being aroused. Even though I don’t want to be with any of those women 😣 feeling like I took a few steps back

My brain won’t shut off, when I’m finally feeling better it’ll shove something else in there to make me overthink. When me and my ex broke up we said we’d be friendly, a few days later I was in the pub being told by everyone that he was sleeping with the girl he told me was just a friend. Her ex was also in the pub and it was horrible. I was hurt, upset, angry, I was everything. Being told only a few days after you guys cut contact and have your final goodbye after 3 weeks of trying to do so that he’s sleeping with someone else like it’s not nice. So of course I felt heartbroken and honestly like there was no care for me. As time goes on I have people telling me that yk he lead me on and that I deserve better, that it was disrespectful of both of them to do so and even though the way they went about it yes wasn’t great (her ex had it worse than me by far but that’s another story) he was single and could do what he wants. I’ve said things when it first happened of course I did, but now there’s no hard feelings and I still see him as a dear friend. He unfollowed me on insta today, I unfollowed him on Snapchat it was too hard to see his name, so we’re both trying to move on. But in my head it feels more like he’s saying he hates me and I feel an uncontrollable amour of guilt because he didn’t do anything insanely wrong, like yes he broke up with me because he “couldn’t be with anyone right now” but my hurt is understandable but he’s moving on so like there’s nothing wrong. I can’t seem to be mean, I can’t seem to trust my own emotions and I can’t seem to just do things for myself without feeling insane guilt. If someone hurts me? Nope I can’t be mean they’ve done nothing wrong. If someone does something I don’t like? Nope it’s fine they’re living their life. If I’m upset with something because it makes me just hurt a lil bit? Nope sorry you’re not allowed to feel that. So we ended, he slept with someone else, I was hurt because it was all still fresh, I was angry and now I feel guilty. If I see him in town like yeah I’ll say hi and get on with it, that should be okay right? Do I have to apologise to him? Do I have to make sure we’re okay? I feel like I do!!!!

I think I’m a covert narc. I feel like I shouldn’t do anything but isolate. I’ve already gotten down voted so now I’m even more paranoid about this. Can someone please offer me some some advice or support? Let me know if these are normal things or if I’m a bad person. I’m really convinced I am. I’m jealous of people who are better than me, and I go above and beyond to do nice things for people in hopes they will reciprocate or at the very least think I’m a good person. I like to do nice things for people just because I care about them but I also do it cuz I want to be a good person and seen as such. Someone said that covert narcs have a fake persona and I feel like I do too. I try to be really happy and kind and outgoing but inside I want to be alone and I dislike some of my friends for who they are. Sometimes I will bring down peoples accomplishments in my head so I feel better about myself. The only reason why I don’t say any of this stuff out loud is because it makes me feel really guilty and anxious to feel this way about them and I don’t wanna hurt their feelings cuz then I look like a bitch because I AM being a bitch. Like I can be kind and mean it but I also can be kind and not mean it. I’ve been wanting to snap on my roomate for some time now and I have a really hard time feeling happy for her, because I feel like she already knows that she’s talented so I feel like I don’t need to tell her. Sometimes I also want to snap on her because I feel like she’s so insensitive and rude sometimes and I feel like I want to put her in her place. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated which also means I try to tell them things that I would want to hear someone say to me. None of my friends have ever said that I am a narcissist or evil, but isn’t the whole point of being a covert narc that you just mask? I am happy for people and I love my friends most of the time. I can celebrate peoples achievements and I genuinely mean it but if I dislike someone then I hate everything about them pretty much. There are some people, as talented as they are who I feel don’t deserve success and appreciation because they disrespect me. I have no empathy for confident people because I feel like they think they are better than me. All my friends have trauma of some kind, and I have much more empathy for them than others. I really only like people who can relate to or understand me.

Hi all! I am trying to practice self compassion with myself as i suffer from ocd, ptsd and bpd and due to years of sa abuse and so on I have a very very negative self image of myself. Anyways, I realized I was avoiding talking to my nicely (compulsively if you will) and being actively proud of myself as it triggers a mean ocd thought about myself. E.g.: ‚i did really well today on xyz‘ —> immediately my ocd says ‚sure but you are dirty and should feel guilty because you had sexual thoughts and enjoyed them about xyz‘. I think you get the point… Do some of you experience the same ? How do you deal with it ? The same way as with other intrusive thoughts ? Let it pass and restrict compulsiions ? Thank you!!!

Why is it when I wake up, the first words that go through my head are "I'm a les..."? Followed by scenarios, and then a guy I like. (I'm a girl) It's like with all the ruminating I've done it's convinced me. A long time ago I heard that the first thing that goes through your mind in the morning is what you want. I don't what that.

Ive made horrible childhood mistakes at the ages of 12 and 13 I heavily regret... It was separate events when i was 12 and 13... I didn't know how horrible the mistakes were at the time... the mistakes were extremely horrible... i dont ever want to be what my pocd and real events ocd say about me... I genuinely feel so horribly and as a 22 year old in pre-med, idk if i even deserve happiness because of my extremely horrible childhood mistakes...

Even with my insurance, my co-pay is still $90 per session which I think is really expensive. I was having a lot of really good improvement in exposure therapy but now I just can't book any more sessions because I can't afford the payments. I'm only 19 by the way, so please don't be too harsh on me, like is there any better alternatives that you guys have found because I found it extremely helpful and now I just can't afford the sessions

Hi everyone. I'm feeling scared and overwhelmed by my intrusive thoughts. It's so tough to try distracting my mind and overcome my thoughts because I'm isolated at home all day. I have no daily schedule, no car or job. So I spend a lot of time alone, which doesn't help my OCD at all. Does anyone else feel lonely or distressed by their scary thoughts? I'm trying to go to sleep but I can't seem to relax

Hi everyone I am knew to NOCD! I wanted to be surrounded my people who understand how debilitating OCD is and the feelings it gives you. My story is an adventure. I was diagnosed in 2 grade with what the doctors thought was trets and year later we discovered it was OCD. Been in every medication under the sun and nothing help. I did physically compulsions like pulling on my back, pushing on my eye, anything that would cause tension to my body to relief the feeling. I have had lots of permanent damage to my body because of this. I struggled and struggled. It got to a point where my OCD made me look like I was having a seizure (I was not) My parents and I had no to ERP and CBT existed untill things got really bad in my 10th grade of school. My OCD, anxiety, and depression was the worse it has been. We made the decision to go to Roger’s behavior center in Wisconsin. They wanted to send me to inpatient but we were able to convince them to let me attempt outpatient. I didn’t believe in ERP Or CBT and refused to do any of my exposures. One day something clicked and I gave it a try and it worked. AMAZED. I worked really hard, I was there for 3 long months but it was all worth it. They also helped me find the right medications that work with my body as well has getting me off of Klonopin. It’s been 3 years since then and I’m proud to say I’m still doing good and have not relapsed. It’s a struggle everyday but I remember all the things they taught me at Rogers. Once I left Roger’s I wanted to know more about OCD. And that’s when I learned about relationship OCD, NOCD, “pure”OCD, somatic OCD and all the other subtypes. When I found out about them realized that the thoughts I have are not really me that they are my OCD. My somatic, magical thinking and real events OCD Has been worse lately. I am open to suggestions or a questions! Keep fighting everybody🩵

I'm tagging this with a trigger warning because I am going to describe an example conversation that triggered my own excessive thinking and describe that excessive thinking in this post, so please proceed with caution!! Does anyone else struggle with hyperfixating and ruminating over what i'm- for lack of better words at the moment- calling The Unsaid in some conversations?? Like, when i'm talking with a friend or acquaintence if a thought or comment I've made goes without a response (or reassurance or validation) from the other person, I find myself filling in the blanks with things like "they didnt respond/they changed their tone so they must be thinking something awful!" And picking that interaction apart and as a result destabilizing my sense of trust in the relationship. Example below (please heed trigger warning) ________________________________________ For example, a friend of mine and I have been studying for our driving TIPs together and they told me they were proud of me for the progress i've made (we've both been nervous about it for years). This friend has expressed having trouble concentrating in groups so it's only really been the two of us, though we still get a bit distracted talking about the songs we pick to play for our study time. I responded to them by telling them i was also proud of them, was grateful that we've been able to do this together, and expressed hope that my being there was helpful and productive for them despite the distractions. They responded with saying that that was sweet of me to say, but nothing else. There is nothing wrong with what they said and they give me no reason to believe they feel badly about studying together otherwise, but this response still makes me anxious and start to overthink because the two phrases that didnt go addressed also correlate with how they feel about me in this situation: if they've enjoyed our time together, if i've been helpful to them. This is where the Unsaid starts to slip through the cracks. It says, 'they didn't choose to respond to those things but surely they must feel some way as well? What could they feel that they cant/dont want to tell me?' which then become thoughts like 'If they dont like studying with me do they like spending ANY time with me?' 'Am i pushing/compelling them into studying with me when they dont actually want to?' 'Am i holding them back from doing their best?' 'Am i not someone they trust/feel they can be honest with?' And so on and so on and its!!! Extremely discouraging and disheartening and I feel awful, because it all feels so plausible in my mind despite knowing I cannot possibly know how my friend feels unless they tell me. _________________________________________ If anyone has any advice regarding how one quells these thoughts from rising up, how to cope when theyre active, and how to distinguish between an OCD rumination versus a real pattern or reaction that warrants genuine discussion, I would love to hear it!!! I thought of checking in with this friend when i'm less anxious but i'm not sure I should; they aren't responsible for reassuring me all the time nor do I expect them to recognize when I need reassurance, even when I dont realize that i'm asking for it (it wasnt until i was typing all this out that it occurred to me that i was hoping they would validate our relationship) And like, aside from this conversation they've voiced positive feelings about my being around before, so it feels unreasonable to ask it of them the one time they didn't yanno? Anyway long post over thank you for bearing with me 😓😓😓

recently my partner has been going into intense spirals like really intense she's on medication but stopped ERP a few months ago because she wasn't handling it well and although I've encouraged her to go back she's very reluctant often the spirals are focussed on something benign like making sure she gets the perfect coffee order and she'll spend a few hours doing the order while I support her best I can but occasionally she will go quiet for a couple of hours before exploding into a rage typically how I am unfaithful or deceptive and it can last the entire day (I wouldn't consider myself either of these things and on any other day she wouldnt either) but occasionally she just explodes no matter what I try she cannot be communicated with in this state but will demand to be near me the entire time and it's getting to be alot she's becoming vindictive and mean in these spirals and I guess I'm just wondering if this is like normal?

Im scared of being an egoist, a selfish, narcissist, self centered person. I always have horrible thoughts that always praising me. My thoughts constantly praise me, my body, and speak as if I want people to run after me. I have thoughts that talk as if everyone is watching me, everyone should admire me. Do I like these thoughts? What if I like these thoughts? What if I enjoy these thoughts and I really am such a narcissistic, disgusting person? And I have a partner. I have slutty thoughts constantly wanting to impress people, with more than one person, wanting everyone to love me. I feel extremely disgusting and i feel like a whore. And i feel so unfaithful, disloyal towards to my partner. I feel like i act like an attention seeker. What if i truly want these things? What if i act like a celebrity and i want people to chase me? What if i want so many people and i want to be unfaithful to my partner and i actually don't even care about my partner and i only care about fame? I feel so... I don't know the word. Disgusting. I sometimes get feelings like, if im beautiful or talented, or im just existing, everyone needs to see or know me. Why do i get this disgusting feeling? I feel like a narcissist and im never happy with these whory thoughts and feelings. I want to get rid of from them. What if i enjoy these and im just acting innocent right now?

does anyone else have this? it really really sucks, i have bad intrusive thoughts about anything that could be “sexual”. I cant even eat a banana anymore, without my brain telling me its sexual. I feel so so much anxiety from it, and i cant be around people and i dont like when people look at me cause im afraid their sexualizing me and i just cant. I hate this, can anyone give me tips for thoughts like these? because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I dont know how to ignore it.

does anyone have any tips for calming down when worried about waiting back to hear results? for context i am a junior college but i have poor grades (because of adhd and ocd) and i am waiting to see if i am going to be academically dismissed from college. then im worried if it does happen that i will not be reaccepted or accepted to any other programs. i dont find out until next week but i am already so unable to shut off my mind and stop worrying. i cant stop thinking about the worse possible outcomes i really dont wanna have to quit college bc it would’ve been three years for nothing.