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If I didn’t have ocd my life would be so beautiful is sad 😞

I suffer with harm ocd, towards my husband I kinda was getting over it already because I knew I didn’t wanna do it but I yesterday I fell into my depression episode again. I started crying really bad. I just felt super sad. Really confused a lot of emotions till today. I still feel like that. I don’t know if it’s because my hormones are all over the place. I got sick from the flu and I also have my period but I’m about to end it and I feel a lot of things. I just feel super sad yesterday with no like motivation. I started feeling sad again with no purpose on life . I recently saw this video like when people get happy while having depression is because they made a decision that they wanna like end their life and I’m scared. I’m gonna do that like I’m scared. I’m gonna start having suicidal thoughts or like I get happy. That like I know it’s because I wanna end my life. I feel so much for my husband I love him because he’s the one that helped me out, but I don’t know why my mind gets mad whenever I think that I love him so much like it’s like something and it gets mad and makes me think I wanna kill him for no reason and I feel like no motivation for anything so it’s like you would want to do that because there’s no reason of living anymore if you are gonna be sad your whole life.

Anyone here who tried doing ERP themselves? How is it? Is it effective? Is it even possible??

Something I’m having a hard time understand and accepting is that you can’t control your thoughts. On one end, I’m told that it’s not my fault that I have these thoughts so it’s ok for them to be there, but the automatic thoughts about that thought (such as negative connotations) are what I need stop doing. But because they are thoughts, and thoughts are uncontrollable, what am I supposed to do? I understand I need to just let my thoughts be there. I understand I need to not beat myself up. But everything is so automatic I feel stuck. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Last night I had such an awful rejection thought! My mind has been coming up with more and more blasphemous thoughts. It was a rejection thought towards Jesus. It was something about “I reject J…… with my heart. I tried to brush it off and apologized to Him last night. I felt like I knew the thought was trying to come but couldn’t stop it. At first I thought “what if I thought that thought?” or sometimes I feel like my mind tells me I “wanted it” which I don’t! It’s like accusing thoughts & feelings! The more I thought about it I was telling myself this isn’t me! Obviously I started to have doubts. This morning I started freaking out because I’ve had this thought before, it was about God about a week ago. It scared me! I woke up this morning crying asking for forgiveness about last night! It breaks my heart to have that thought! I cried. I’m still scared! I need & want them forever! Am I okay? Are they still with me? I love them so much and it hurts to have these thoughts! I would never say that thought out loud but it still hurts my heart. Will they forgive me and be with me?! Any advice to move forward? I’ve been struggling hard.

Some of my friends have noticed that things have got worse for me and have asked me what is wrong. I try to explain it in a way that shows how much I’m struggling but not so that they think I’m crazy but they just don’t get it. This would be fine but they think that they understand and they just don’t. One of my best friends asked if I was going to a psychiatrist and being tested for psychosis because I get annoyed when one of our friends chew loudly. What do I do it’s so frustrating.

Has anyone gone through this or is still going through this and can give any tips on how to make it stop? The intrusive thoughts during sexual activities are simply bothering me so much that I'm afraid to do anything like that because of the thoughts. I couldn't do it for weeks because I was always thinking about some atrocious thing, but yesterday I failed and now I'm feeling bad because even though I tried not to think, it's like I had an open folder in the back of my head and I blame myself for not being able to delete or block it. I'm afraid that avoiding it will become a compulsion and disrupt my sex life, but I also don't feel comfortable doing it often because of the thoughts. Does anyone identify? any tips to improve? I'm repressing myself because of this and I know it's not something that will do me any good. Sorry if this is inappropriate.

Hello, so tomorrow I am going to a fun theme park with my best friend but I’m afraid I will have anxiety and OCD the whole time about random small things like I usually do. I don’t want to waste this fun day tomorrow at a theme park and don’t want to have anxiety or OCD the whole day instead. I want to have fun and not think about OCD. How do I overcome this?

Hi guys, I know I’m annoying as heck. I am always on here posting or needing help. I’m having bad anxiety right now and just am so scared. Everyone says sit with anxiety or just let it be. I always just think about going to the hospital or why I feel so bad. Wondering why or what I can do. I know I’ve had OCD but it just came for no reason besides that! I’m so scared!

Today and tonight I'm just feeling lost...like I'm not living a full life that I should be. That everyone else is living their best lives and here I am working on my OCD, hating my horrible job and just trying to male it thru the days...😥

Of crying of every little thing I hate how sensitive I became I wasn’t like this I used to be so strong there was a point in life where I didn’t even cry for three months I thought I was getting better I’m sick and tired of my own self I wish I could buy a new heart and mind because I would do anything for it I’m so tired.

Anyone else’s OCD come in waves? That’s the only way I can describe it. I’m doing good in therapy for a few weeks, and then all of a sudden it gets really bad, with no apparent trigger?

hello, i have been very paranoid about being pregnant. I’ve taken 4 pregnancy tests, all came out negative and have gotten my period twice since the last time i’ve had sex, i’m so very paranoid and I have no idea why. even if i take tests, get my period or even when people reassure me that I am not. I’m not sure if it is my mind playing tricks on me to get stuck on this but it is very hard to continue with my daily routine without the fear of being pregnant. I have no idea how to overcome this fear.

I have health concern ocd and my current obsession is rabies. I just opened my window to get some air and now I'm convinced there's a bat in my room that's gonna give me rabies... I checked my room and didn't find one but now I can't stop thinking about it and I can't fall asleep. I think I would be able to see it if it was in my room but...

Lately my ocd is latching onto my children. In my opinion, for me, this is the most painful and most debilitating theme of ocd. My daughter asked me to help her wash and rinse the shampoo from her hair while she was in the shower because she has thick hair and sometimes she has trouble shampooing and rinsing it all out. A normal, common task for me. At some point I caught a glimpse of her private area and my ocd immediately tried to make me believe I looked intentionally. I know I didn’t and I know I do not think of her or any child in that way but now my ocd has me questioning myself. I was just doing what I always do so I don’t remember at what point I saw it. Was I reaching for and looking down for the shampoo when I saw it or was I reaching up to her hair and saw it as I looked up? Did I look due to just normal human tendency to look where we know we’re not supposed to and if that’s the case does that make me horrible? I’m driving myself insane trying to prove I do NOT feel or think that way about her. I don’t want to live if this is how my brain works. Ocd is evil and this is the hardest kind of intrusive thought to get past. 😩

I am in a rumination loop. Nothing is satisfying my thoughts. It’s just a constant, you are lying to yourself, you are gay etc etc. My brain keeps putting pictures of me and a woman in the future and I don’t want that. Then my brain goes well ‘What if you do or are lying to yourself and in denial?’ Sometimes the false attraction is weird because deep down I know it’s not true but when I am in a spiral I don’t know what is real or fake, the ‘attraction’ that my brain thinks is real is this distress in my chest it’s not enjoyable. But as I write this my brain goes ‘Well you are just saying that because you are in denial and you do actually like it.’

I don't know what to say....I have ADHD diagnosed by one of the top pschs in the country on that. But I see see some posts on here and I am like "I relate to that" I literally don't want another mental alignment... My problem...I know what I should be doing.... But just don't do that thing. It's so weird. I have had this issue forever Is that recognizable to anyone here?

Does anyone ever get compulsions when it comes to texting? I will receive a message from someone and if I don’t want to respond right away I won’t open it, but if it’s been too long before I open it I just can’t until they text me again. Or if I text someone I have to reopen the message multiple times every few seconds in case they responded and I didn’t notice, or in case they read it, or to make sure I said what I meant to say and it can’t be perceived differently. This usually leads to me having a crazy amount of unopened messages, and a crazy amount of anxiety. Texting has become an unreliable source of communication for me so I usually call or don’t talk to anyone unless they’re in person

I have some questions as to how to distinguish avoidance vs. self-care. I am struggleing a lot with things like rumination and obsessing over certain topics. But at the same time I know that full-out avoidance of triggering topics/material is also bad for OCD. So how do you draw the line between the too? Like not compulsively engaging with certain things but also not to avoid them?

Hi!! I've been doing pretty good lately but the thoughts haven't stopped the anxiety is less now. But tired of hearing the thoughts. I'm a confident straight woman and all ai want to be with is a man. I've been single for years and i have been wanting a boyfriend. The thoughts are making me feel like I'm just lying to myself and it's annoying and frustrating.