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I went to bed at 4am and had semi ok rest for two hours, I woke up anxious and awake like not tired. It’s 8am and I want to go to bed and I can’t Has this happened to anyone else? I hate this

I write this down to vent and because i see something that bothers me alot. I searched here "suicidal ocd" to not write a post and see what advices others get and i didnt found same problems and the ones i found were actually my old posts. All of the other posts were different to mine, all were the same worrying, and mine was like its more than suicidal ocd. Im dealing with depression now because of a current life event and i see that after waking up i get worse and thats when fear attacks me. In the pain i got hit by "i cant deal with this i will end my life" thought, and it was intrusive, i was feeling so bad after it. But for me it feels like it was a real thought cause of the situation, you know, i was in pain and i felt like i cant handle it and i want relief. But i dont want to kms... and i see people talking about suicidal ideation, how they have both and it scares me that mine feels more similar to that then suicidal ocd. I keep feel like it comes back time after time cause i dont work on it or accept it that im having suicidal thoughts and i need to work on them...it feels so hard to accept im thinking about suicide. Always i think about when my therapist said its real ideation cause i want to escape from pain but i developed ocd over it...i just dont want to accept that. If its reassurance seeking than just tell me that ocd can be like this or send me videos or something were people talk about this,cause i dont know if it can be like this. I just see myself sharing these kind of posts. I dont know what to do, i even tried to accept it as real before, i couldnt handle it... but even the therapist telling me things... i just cant get over it

Does anyone ever experience their OCD themes shifting extremely quickly? This has been going on for the past few months. I keep flicking through health concern, contamination, psychosis and sexual orientation.

I haven’t posted here in a very long time, and there is a reason for that. For the longest time I thought I’d never get better and that OCD would have me stuck in my house and away from any successful future or social life. But I was wrong. I’m in psychiatric nursing school now, and I do a lot of school work and balance my part time job with a social life as well. I never thought I’d get to the point where I managed to handle one of these alone but look at me now! Is it all gone? No. I still have a lot of struggles and it’s not easy. I still get the thoughts but I’ve gotten better at coping with them and I’m still improving. And I promise you will get better too. Stay strong and believe in yourself. You are worth it :)

Hey guys does anyone know how to not let moral scrupulosity control your life? Because when the compulsions are moral I feel like it’s harder to interpret whether indulging in them is a good or a bad thing. Even when I can tell it’s definitely OCD it’ll start making me think “wow you’re not even gonna give it a chance? It’s bad that you’re not thinking about it more this could be more serious than you think!” Any advice?

I keep rumminating about this, cause im in a depressive state right now which i accept, its actually not that bad as i imagined. The bad thing is fear and that im beating myself up, cause i dont know how should i react to my thoughts. I learned that you just dont give attention to ocd thoughts, and you try live your life but now im spinning out cause if i do that with these depressive thoughts i feel like im doing something bad. Like im supressing them. And this has became a big problem cause either with ocd sometimes i cant tell the difference between avoidance and just not feeding the thoughts and not giving attention to them... cause for me not givvi g attention is avoidance. When i avoid it its because i dont want to give attention to them. Its really tiring that for different problems you need different tools, like how i suppose to tell which kind of thought is this? Its depressive, but i get scared of it. Every depressive thought i get i get anxoius over it, but if i try to not give attention to it it grows bigger and i feel like i did something bad, i supressed it and i feel shame.

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist and any other type of doctor. I struggle with health themes and I often think my moles are cancerous, that I have mouth cancer, ovarian cancer, colon cancer etc. While I realize having all of these at once would be super rare, I’ve convinced myself that while I might not have all of those I probably have at least one but I don’t know which one. I worry about having cancer or some other terminal disease almost 24/7 it’s really impacting my life.. the issue is I can’t bring myself to go to any doctor’s appointments. I’ve been doing a little better by building a good relationship with my primary care physician & I’ve had every blood test available & all came back perfect. I got over my fear of the eye doctor and went and got a new prescription for the first time in 8 years & I went to an allergist for the first time. Since my biggest fears are ovarian, mouth and skin cancer I can’t seem to bring myself to go to the gynecologist, dermatologist or dentist. I know if I go I’ll feel better like I did with other appointments but I am SO convinced that I will be told I’m dying that I’m not ready to hear it and too scared to go. I fear I’m letting other health problems that I may have like gum disease get worse due to my fear of receiving bad news which only makes me more scared to go. Any advice or comments are appreciated!

How do I forgive myself for things I did as a kid? Disgusting terrible illegal things? I’m grown and I would never do them now, but how do I move on?

Hello! I’m not sure what to do. I have health anxiety and feel like I’m dying when after eating junk food and because of my poor habits and being not motivated to go to the gym. I also have a fear that there’s no afterlife and that I have no purpose in life and that we suffer for nothing. I don’t know how to cope and I’m not sure if religion is toxic for me because I want to be honest and realistic with myself. I believe but think it’s because I was raised in a religious household. I keep looking for certainty. I feel like I don’t know what I’m going to do when my grandmas pass away. My anxiety got so much worse when my grandfather passed and I don’t think I can take it anymore and am so confused what life really means. Why there’s suffering. I don’t feel a sense of purpose in my life at all and am more confused than ever. I’m struggling to do exposure therapy for all of this and don’t know how to do exposure therapy properly. I also don’t know how to cope when I see my family suffer. For example, when I saw my uncle have my cousin arrested, for seeing my grandfather die. I feel like there’s nothing good in this world because it always leads to tragedy at the end. My family believes there’s a God, which I’d like to believe that, but am also feeling like he might not exist. It used to be my values but not anymore when I learned that it’s bad for my OCD. How should I handle trauma when I already can’t take it anymore. I feel like life has been very boring and I really struggle to work at my office. I can’t be present in the moment and I’m easily bored and want to do things that will change my life, that are more fun. I don’t know what yet and am really struggling. I just go to a boring job, wait until it turns 5, and go home and go the same thing. Walk the dog, I don’t even want to cook because it’s so boring and wastes time, and watch tv. I really don’t like my life and don’t know what to do. I previously had terrible managers in the past and got laid off for one of my jobs so this is I guess comfortable but still. I’m so bored and just going through life and am struggling to really enjoy anything. This has been going on for years. I also feel so immature and hanging out with my friends who are way more mature and extroverted than me is an exposure in itself. I compare myself to them a lot since they’re so confident but I feel like they act like I’m a toddler at times and that they feel they have to take care of me. I just am always in my head and they always give me advice, whether I ask it or not. I’m not excited about my life, very bored, but I also am not happy with who I am. I hate doing things too bc I feel like it just makes me even more depressed and bored. I feel like junk food and alcohol are the only things I look forward to

does anyone else get urges to confess to a loved one when experiencing anxiety from an intrusive thought/image?i used to do this in the past but recently i have been trying to not do this, is this a compulsion?anyone else relate?

i have been doing clinical ketamine treatments for over a year and a half now and am curious anyone else’s experience. i have found that my depression and ocd can really feed off one another (obsessions triggering depressive episodes, depressive episodes being the perfect breeding ground for rumination, etc.). because of this, i believe treating my depression in turn supports my ocd treatment. does anyone else notice this relationship between co-occurring mood disorders? or has anyone had experience with ketamine? would love to hear from you guys ❤️

I’m new here and I’m not sure what to ask, but I feel like I need to ask something. The first thing that come up is a recent experience I had with waking up in the middle of the night just thinking my life isn’t real, like not that nothing matters, but like actually not real. It was terrifying. Other times I’ll wake up in the middle of the night just spiraling thinking that I’m just a terrible person and I’m ruining my children’s lives and my husband would be able to manage things better if I was not here. Anyways, I was wondering if there was anyone else that has experienced things like this. And how you deal with these things. I’m not sure that I even have OCD but it is something that I keep thinking about. I don’t want to assume though so I’m just trying to reach out for some community and outside thoughts. Thanks.

I have realized my fear is a bit different from people who just have emetophobia but not ocd, even when the phobia mimics obsessive compulsive symptoms. They fear the actual act of being ill, and all of the gross stuff that happens with it. They also have a fear of not being in control. I have found that I moreso fear contamination. While I would be okay with being sick from a spinny ride, what would cause me to not be able to overcome it would be the fear that it was because I was actually sick with norovirus. This is perhaps because my body would not mend itself immediately after being sick one time if I caught something. The idea of being infected with something foreign disturbs me deeply. I also feel as if everything will be ruined if I am sick, that the world will end. I get comfort from remembering that the things and people I love would still be there, that they wouldn’t be contaminated or gone, which is something I don’t see with just emetophobics.

Hi guys, as I mentioned before I do struggle with religious OCD. I am a follower of Christ and I love being a follower of Christ. I’m just really frustrated because having blasphemous thoughts really do put me down and really do question my love for God. It’s really hard to have these thoughts and sometimes I do feel like I’ll never be forgiven and reading more articles just makes me more stress if you’re struggling with this I want you to know that you’re not alone and I am praying for you.

idk if this is my ocd but for the past couple weeks i’ve been disassociating and getting anxious if i look in the mirror too long or look at pictures of myself. like i can’t comprehend what i look like and don’t think im real. i also have difficulty changing simple things abt my appearance like today i put in a hoop in my nose piercing instead of my typical stud and it’s making me feel weird. i feel weird taking pictures of myself, posting pics/videos of myself and like i said even looking in the mirror too long. why don’t i feel real? i feel so weird

my brain keeps on trying to convince me I’m gay. Why do I care so much?? I’ve been sure of who I am for all my life, but ever since that thought that I could be something else appeared in my head. It’s ruined me completely, I’ve lost attraction to my preferred gender and overthink everything when talking to the same gender. I know pick about everything I’m feeling and ruminate on the past for evidence. I’ve always saw myself being with a man and having kids with a man. But now I guess my ocd (maybe it’s just denial idk) Is telling me I never wanted that and it was society or whatever. It makes me extremely uncomfy and very anxious. When I think about being gay that doesn’t feel right neither does being straight anymore since this theme. I just want to be normal again I hate this. I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship again ever because of this.

Some time I feel traped and stupid or mad at myself for having ocd can anyone relate? I wish i was normal even though normal does not exist and I know that but I wish could blended in more with other people you know. Sometimes my family treats me like I am weird, and I am but I can not help it ,you know.

this is honestly the worst summer of my life. i have intrusive thoughts almost constantly and when i tell myself i can get through this i get even worse intrusive thoughts to destroy me. and even worse, i cannot help but mumble, whisper, or even say my intrusive thoughts out loud sometimes. this is honestly ruining my life. i don’t even know what’s real anymore and what i do versus don’t do. my mind is convincing me i have done things or want to do things that i haven’t and don’t want to do. i can’t enjoy my vacation and honestly just want to go home.

i started therapy not too long ago and i really feel like i can’t talk to him at all. it’s so uncomfortable because the stuff im struggling with are all sexually related. each time he asks me about my intrusive thoughts i can’t identify them, ive been given homework to do and i haven’t even started it because im struggling so much to identify what is me and what isn’t. he isn’t a specialist in ocd either, he said he’s worked with people who are worried about the same thing as me but it doesn’t reassure me. in all honesty i dont think it would change anything if he was a specialist in it, i’d still most likely feel the same way. each time we talk about it (eg thought fusion and all) i doubt every little thing he says. it feels like i can’t open up to him in the slightest, when i try to it feels like im lying or if i start to i automatically go back on it and suddenly dont have the courage to talk about it. ive never told anyone my intrusive thoughts before, not even my mum and i tell her everything but i’ll never tell her them. he said he understands why im too scared to write them down, if i do it feels real but i can’t even identify what’s intrusive and what isn’t anymore, there’s no more anxiety. im just constantly thinking about things i don’t want to think about. i don’t know what to do, im spending money on the sessions but i just leave feeling even worse. i’m NOT doing too bad right now so i feel like i don’t need therapy but i know if i was to leave therapy it would most likey get worse again. is this normal? i don’t understand at all. i’m literally lying to him because im too scared to open up.

Newly diagnosed with OCD but have struggled with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and night terrors for about 20 years now. Never knew it was OCD! Anyhow, I struggle with existential OCD and perfectionism OCD which has always caused me to dislike “regular” talk therapy because it never worked, there was no point, and I was worried I wasn’t doing it right. Well I’ve started ERP with my therapist, and now every day that I have therapy, I anxiously spiral about how it’s going to be bad, and I’m not going to get better anyway because I’m not doing it right, and what’s the point in getting better anyway. Sorry for the run on sentences. Does anyone have advice for getting motivated for therapy sessions and not fearing them? TL;DR: Does anyone have advice of how to stay motivated for ERP therapy with doubts of failing/anxiety/existential thoughts?