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I think I've developed hives from my frequent disinfecting..

I have come so far in my therapy and days like today feel like I’m just still buried in OCD. Sometimes it is so insidious and I don’t realize I’m in a loop. Once I do realize it, it’s hard to get out. I thought sharing here may help, as I never have, but I know you guys will understand. It’s so hard to decipher between regular anxiety and obsessions and compulsions. It has all just become one big ball of panic. Anyway, I’m just struggling today - so thanks for listening.

I’m struggling so much lately with feeling so different in comparison to others with ocd. I feel indenial , like I don’t really have ocd and like others probably think I’m guilty. I hate feeling this way constantly. I feel like such an outcast like I don’t belong in this community because I’m a big ‘fraud’. I suppose it’s the ocd doing this to me.

I saw a post saying that thinking about something for a while will bring it to you. Now I’m scared and panicking because I think about illnesses and getting a disease almost everyday. What should I do? Im very scared

I was in this game with this person and I noticed his voice was deep, and his avatar looked attractive to me?? and my brain was like “his voice is so??? And his avatar kinda fine too” like omg, shut up, I’m not taken yet but I still want to be in this relationship with this other guy, I feel like there’s nothing I can do and I’ll always be a cheater, I don’t even know how I feel, like do I actually want to cheat??? And it freaks me out because I don’t even know how I feel? Because sometimes I’ll get a feeling that agrees with it, like I’ll have that feeling that wants me to date them and then I’ll hear something like “yeah I would” / “yeah I agree with that” ,, now I feel like I’ll be a cheater and I’m really scared, I would NEVER cheat, nor would I trade this boy for anything, but I can’t do it. I just need to know what to do.

Hey guys, I hope you’re well! My names Matt, and OCD has struck me again 😂 When I was 10 years old I had to attend therapy as I was having excessive intrusive thoughts. P.s. I didn’t even know this was possible at the age of 10! I then completely forgot about it, until 2.5 years ago when I started experiencing ROCD. I really couldn’t understand why I was feeling/thinking this way however, I soon after remembered my struggles as a child and then realised my OCD had returned. Also, my mum has serious OCD so I guess that could be why too. I had a a really hard battle with my emotions and mood due to this however, the last 1.5 years had been really good and I managed it well. I got married and had the best day of my life. 3 months ago, a thought about having an affair in my head appeared, and BOOM, it’s back again. I’m struggling a lot right now however, I’ve accepted that this could be a re occurring theme throughout my life, and it’s time to learn to deal with it again. I’m back on medication and have started ERP therapy, so hopefully it’s on the up from here. I’m not here to list off my triggers and thoughts as this would be me seeking reassurance however, I’m here to show that recovery is certainly possible!

recently i have had a huge problem with picking my skin so it's smooth. i was up all night last night picking my skin and everytime i tried to stop i felt extremely uncomfortable and nauseous. i cut my nails to like nothing and bandaged my problem spots but im still picking at my skin. i simply don't have enough bandages to cover my whole body lmao. i would love some advice on how y'all deal with that.

After months of not obsessing about my ex, last night I had a very heavy dream that lasted for hours about him. In my dream he was lovely, I was obsessed with him and most of all… I was happy. So fkin happy. I woke up feeling like I loved him. My heart was full. When I realised it wasn’t true, it felt like my heart was shattered all over again. It’s been 3 years since he left me. It shouldn’t hurt anymore. It sounds so silly, but it feels like a huge setback.

I did a few sexual compulsions (only with myself of course) in the past (2 months ago , did it couple of times) and I regret it BADLY I want to die every time because of that because of the guilt that I can’t handle it I feel like a monster I can’t move on from this. I feel like I deserve nothing in life. I prefer to kill myself then do it again. Like what went on my mind. I wanted to check and get rid of the thought but I can’t live with the shame. I posted this a few times but cant move on. What I did was BAD sexual compulsion. My therapist said to me that people with ocd can have a sever compulsions. And I think I told her about this compulsion but I think she forgot so I’m planning to said it to her again so she will tell me if it’s actually ocd or not. And the fact that I did have another themes before Pocd but I don’t know if I have Pocd anymore cause I feel like a monster and like I crossed the line. I’m terrified that I went to far. I regret I badly. There is not a single day I’m not thinking about it and want to kill my self. That compulsion is against my morals like I become the person I was afraid of all the time. The shame will it me until the day that I die

This is my first post and I wanted to post because my ocd feels like something that will always control my life and nobody truly understands because no one in my life experiences this. I’m hoping to maybe find a community who can relate. I’ve always had an intense fear of death. The fear is of my own death and my loved ones. I’ve had 2 debilitating episodes of this and the most recent episode being a month ago. The first one lasted about 3 months of constant intrusive thoughts about death and the meaning of life. I also feel as if I’m not real and the world around me isn’t real. It’s almost like I’m completely gone and I can think of nothing else. I would sleep to escape it. Nothing has purpose or meaning. I even question happiness of others. I question why anyone would be happy if they’re gonna die eventually and why aren’t they thinking about it?? I know it’s ridiculous when I come out of it. But to be honest the thoughts never fully go away. They pop up every once in awhile when I’m in a good state with my ocd, and almost everyday when I’m in a bad state. The severe episodes I’ve noticed have happened when I’m in a period of high stress in life. For example I’m moving in with my boyfriend next week. All that my therapist has told me is to work on my grounding techniques but it’s hard to explain to anyone who’s not experienced it that grounding doesn’t help when I’m in that headspace. It seems like when I get there I just have to wait it out and eventually it’ll pass but not fully. Does anyone have anything that’s helped them?

I’m losing it completely, I’ve never had a flare up like this with contamination. I’m so burnt out seriously , I feel like I’m going insane. My hands are cracking and bleeding from washing them and my family’s getting very tired of me , they think I should go stay in a hospital or something for a while because of how bad it is. OCD as taken away my relationships with people , I can’t sit on the couch anymore with my family , I can’t hug my dog anymore , I can’t relax ever. I just needed to write this down as I really can’t process my feelings right now as I have too many thoughts , any advice?

Hi all. This is my first post. I am 45. My wife and I recently went through a rough patch and I don’t wanna throw away 20 years but I can’t shake or get over the amount of work I put in for our family and she doesn’t even come close. She says I do all the work I do bc I am the only one who cares about it. I really gave a good go at overlooking the fact that it isn’t 50/50 and was going good for like 2 weeks and now we are back again bc I feel overwhelmed and need help and support and I get none. Am I a bad person bc I feel that when I have a ton on my plate she should support me and take some of it? I tried to talk to her about it and she told me “I never said I was changing and I am not doing anymore than i currently do” For reference: I vacuum the entire house once a week Do 6 loads of laundry Handle all the bills and taxes Dust everywhere but our bedroom Go to the dump Handle the kids school stuff and pick my daughter up every night from sports (1hr and 10 minutes from my work) Clean all the a/c filters etc in the house Deal with any maintenance of home, vehicles etc that needs to be done She… Cools dinner 4 days a week and forces us to pay to eat out the other 3… says she deserves a break…. Cleaned the hardwood floors every other week Dusts the bedroom every other week Cleans her personal bathroom ONCE A MONTH! (Yea that’s a pet peeve) Grocery shops (she orders online and sits in her car while they load it) Am I out of line here by asking her to do more, it’s a real sticking point of our marriage. I love her but I am killing myself and no matter what I say she shits on it.

hey! i was thinking it would be cool if there would be a place where we could find people and become friends with other people dealing with ocd. it could be a safe place for us to say our experience so far, or to just talk about anything, even if it’s not ocd related. lmk what you think about this idea and comment what you think we could/should make it on!

Hello. I am a mom of a 15 yo who has been diagnosed with severe OCD and also depression and anxiety disorders. Medication was recommended. Specifically clomipramine. As of now he refuses to take it. Says he 50 % of the way considering it. He was not able to complete most of his HW last week, spends much of the day feeling anxious, isolates in his room for hours. Says he wants to try to manage it - says he’s doing better bc he was able to focus in his math class - says he doesn’t want med bc he is afraid it will mess w his mind (numb his feelings). Any advice for how to get him over this hump? Any good experience from med? It’s hard for me to watch him suffer knowing that med is an option and he could be feeling better. Also hard to watch him get zeros in classes when he is smart and capable. Thank you ahead of time. Also, his NOCD therapist is on vacation but had recommended med as well to help my son engage better in ERP

It feels like I want to be with a girl now!!!

I have an amazing fiance, our anniversary is coming up soon and I'm very excited, but my head keeps going back and forth on I love him or actually you don't love him. You hate him. It's so distressing. I keep looking up things to save relationships and comparing our relationships to other people like what am I doing wrong? And anytime I think of it, I also start thinking what if all of this is just in my head and it's not real or I'm just faking all of this. It's constant back and forth and it's making things hard. I'm not texting him as much as I use to and he noticed it. He feels bad and I don't want him to think it's his fault. He's the best fiance I've ever had and I don't want to lose him, but I want these thoughts to go away. Is it even ROCD or am I just losing it? I know I have OCD around food and gross sexual intrusive thoughts but I don't know if it's effecting other aspects of my life (I was only recently diagnosed) Please help, anyone.

I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.

Looked up OCD recovery / success stories to give myself some hope. Found a link to a page on the NOCD website that shared a few people's recovery journeys. Clicked on the first one that had SOOCD tagged as a theme. She had the fear she was gay. Turns out she IS gay. It really triggered me and now I'm in a bit of a spiral 😭 ended up googling and looking for reassurance. I feel guilty and sad for engaging in compulsions. Like I just took a huge step back, or something.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years today because my rocd got so bad and overwhelming i pretty much convinced myself these past three years of my life i wasn’t “actually in love with him” and that I’ve been “faking” it. He means everything to me and i never actually thought i would break up with him but the thoughts were starting to become so painful i started to ruminate about “if im having these thoughts that means i don’t belong with him” and “we arnwt meant to be.”It’s gotten so bad that when i hear a sad song or break up song I’ve convinced myself that since i heard it that means that i need to break up with him. I’ve never felt such intense feelings our whole 3 years of dating. Now that i actually broke up with him my rocd is telling me that i need to get back with him and i really genuinely do but then i feel like ill always feel these doubts and scary thoughts and that it willl be a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. I feel like i just lost the love of my life. I feel like i let my rocd get the best of me and win. Now we aren’t together and i feel broken.

I am honestly desperate to try anything, I tried prozac and it works but it makes me gain weight which makes my body image issues even worse, so I need help. Has anyone tried it?