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I find myself getting panic attacks over things that I was exposed to as a teen in my younger years and they still haunt me sometimes.

Each night I go to bed determined to stop compulsions and start beating this disorder. Then I wake up and it smacks me in the face first thing and I’m doing a compulsion before I know it. I told my therapist that I would try to handle it like we do in session, but I’ve already failed. It seems like I can’t bring ERP into my “real” life.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been here. I’m about to go back to school for nursing. But right now I’m working as a nursing assistant in the hospital. Idk if it’s my body adjusting to seeing new INTENSE things every day or shoving so much information into me at once with long 12 hour shifts. And when I’m at work and conscious it’s completely fine. But when I come home and sleep I wake up from bad dreams. Yesterday at work there were maybe 10 rapids (when you call an emergency for your patient, don’t always have a good ending) and I woke up this morning remembering my dream that I was in the hospital and my heart stopped and they had to call a rapid on me. Maybe it’s not even OCD??? And it’s just heavy heavy stuff that I’ve never seen before and it’s just my brain and body adjusting to life and things that can be really scary. It just feels a bit like when my OCD was bad and I’m scared I’m really in my head right now I don’t want it to get worse. Can anyone relate???

Of course we can’t stop the inevitable but with my ocd it’s all I can think about. I’m afraid I’ll be alone for ever and I’ll fear forever. Fear does not stop death it stops life. But how do I stop fear??? I can’t think of anything scarier than the fact that our conscious will vanish for eternity. I am only 20 years old but I mean the last 5 years flew by like nothing.

hi lately im having intrusive thoughts that tell me im a predator. im in long distance relationship with my boyfriend and we often text in more hot way if i can call it that. and lately we had an argument, not really concerning this, he just thought im demanding stuff from him in general with the way i text, tho these type of text were just jokes and it was misunderstanding (i apologised obviously and explained it to him). this topic should be done then, but my head started giving me urges to check our messages when we were sexting and it's maybe anxiety but it made me feel like my text were pressuring stuff on him like sending me a vm or just commenting on my body. i knew most stuff i texted then were with joking manner and he knew it too because he didn't showed to be uncomfortable besides when i got the feeling like im pressing on him i imadietlly apologised and reassured him that he doesn't need to do anything i ask for if he's not comfortable, i brought it up a few days ago and kinda asked for reassurance and he got surpised i think im a pred and all. he said he didn't feel manipulated, nor like i was forcing him to do anything, and that im not a predator or anything. but my head keeps telling me i am. i have constant feeling like i hurt him and acted horrible. and i don't know what to do with that feeling.

I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.

I cannot help but feel exhausted as I go through life. It feels like I've lost the spark in me. And I'm pushing myself for no cause.

should i be doing erp instead of repeating again and again "none of that shits real. none of that shits real. none of that shits real" ? i can’t tell if it makes it better or not

Some of this isn't about ocd. But it causes a lot of ocd problems. And what I'm asking you for is your opinion and what you would do in this situation. So my boyfriend chooses porn over me a lot. He's a hurt teenager and he's went through a lot. Child abuse. Cocsa. Drunk parents. Split parents. He has about 10 siblings and generally has went through so much. But he has a serious porn problem. Which is concerning especially the fact we are teenagers, and he's dating me. In no way whatsoever am I leaving him. Although I need people's opinions. I've communicated about the problem. I've told him how it makes me feel so shit and hurt. And I feel insecure. But what he does is he just stops telling me if he watches is, but then I can tell from his change of behavior and the lying hurts more. And everytime he tells me he's going home (we are long distancced) I INSTANTLY panick, I beg to call him. I try to distract him. I beg him not to watch porn. And it's so damaging me. And I hate it so much but I love him so much and I know he doesn't want to hurt me. And. Sometimes it feels like when he says "I love you" and stuff, it feels like it's not coming from the heart. For example if you where in school and your fellow classmate got forced by a teacher to apologize to you. You would obviously know the class mate doesn't mean it. But there just saying it. That's how I feel with my boyfriend. It feels like I'm forcing him to say he loves me. Like I'm forcing him to talk to me. It's been half a year now we have been together. He crys if I ever bring up leaving him, and I don't wanna leave him. I feel like I've done EVERYTHING to fix this. Yet I'm STUCK. so please. If anyone has any ideas I can try I will. Or any opinions, or even harsh truths. You can be mean. Anything. Thank you so much.

hello. i have been going through health scare obsessions for at least 5 years now and it terrifies me. i mainly fear of cancer. i have no reason to fear of cancer because it is not a predominant condition in my family. i have been to check ups for skin cancer and been told it was nothing which relieves me for a short period of time but then i start thinking of other cancer possibilities :( it doesn’t help that im a smoker to deal with the stress of adhd and ocd which just fuels the obsession of lung cancer. i know it would help my fear to stop smoking but thats easier said than done. i have only been a smoker for 3 years and its the only thing that helps right now. on top of this, my brain makes me believe that every intrusive thought i have WILL MANIFEST into existence just from thinking about it! this has scared me so much in the last 5 years and once i told my mum about it and she said "if you ever got cancer we would deal with it, its okay" but that didnt help it just made it worse and the possibility become more scarier! please help me.

Starting in high school, I became very suicidal, and it became my “safety net” of all went wrong. I know it’s dark, but I was in a really bad head space and I saw suicide as my escape if I couldn’t fix my life. It got to the point where I was constantly thinking about suicide (literally every day, multiple times a day). Over the last year, I’ve gotten better and I think about it less. But then my OCD grabbed hold of it…. Now, if I do something wrong or embarrassing or if I struggle in a social situation (which is often 😅), my mind says “kys”, “jump off a bridge”, and so on. It’s like an automatic response with my OCD and it makes me so uncomfortable… I’m trying to get better. I don’t want to die. Sure, I still get pretty low, but I always push the thoughts away now instead of welcoming them like I used to. But with the intrusive thoughts being nearly constant now, it’s kind of scary. I dont know what to do to make them stop since the intrusive thoughts are just so automatic at the slightest feeling of discomfort. I have a therapist, but I dont know how to bring this up with her. I’m too nervous to even admit to suicidal thoughts, not to mention the intrusive thoughts they’ve turned into. It kind of feels like it’ll never go away.

Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*

You ever drive over a pothole and convince yourself you hit someone 🫠

So yesterday night I did the Nazi salute to compare it to the roman salute, at first I was arguing with myself that what elon musk did wasn't a roman salute so I displayed what I thought was a roman salute looked like. Then after that I did the Nazi salute, I never done it in my life and ever since I started learning history last year my minds been telling me to do it as an intrusive thought, but I never actually did it until now. I don't know why I did it and I feel horrible for doing it, the second after I did it, I felt horrible, I felt immediately guilty , someone pls help

i just wanted to give a little shout out to my somatic ocd folks —- i have it too! some people might call it “hypochondria” but i have a fixation with my heart. im young and healthy, but convinced i’m going to have a cardiac despite seeing a cardiologist and having a full evaluation. he tells me my heart is fine. with my ocd, my biggest fear is — what if i get so scared i have a heart attack? what if _____ happens, and then it causes me to have a heart attack from fear? i just want to remind you all that OCD cannot hurt you. what’s in your mind and thoughts cannot harm your body. it can make you experience symptoms or panic, adrenaline and things like that, but OCD is not going to hurt you. and you’re not crazy! much love to this community — y’all are so strong!

i just wanted to give a little shout out to my somatic ocd folks —- i have it too! some people might call it “hypochondria” but i have a fixation with my heart. im young and healthy, but convinced i’m going to have a cardiac despite seeing a cardiologist and having a full evaluation. he tells me my heart is fine. with my ocd, my biggest fear is — what if i get so scared i have a heart attack? what if _____ happens, and then it causes me to have a heart attack from fear? i just want to remind you all that OCD cannot hurt you. what’s in your mind and thoughts cannot harm your body. it can make you experience symptoms or panic, adrenaline and things like that, but OCD is not going to hurt you. and you’re not crazy! much love to this community — y’all are so strong!

does anyone else have an intense fear of developing schizophrenia or psychosis. This has been a really heavy theme for me as well. I’m constantly checking to see if I have symptoms or if I’m gonna go crazy or develop these. it’s so scary.

I'm really, really scared. I feel like my boyfriend and I went too far. We both belong to the same faith, and we've both committed from a young age to remain pure and chaste until marriage. And we've never had sex before, but we've talked a lot about it. And we've done things like laying on top of each other. Gently rubbing up against each other. He's kissed my chest. And I've send some pictures to him. Not nude pictures, but just ones that are a little revealing, and the guilt has been eating me alive. And of course, I know it's okay to feel sexual feelings, and it's good to have them and acknowledge them. They're vital feelings, and it's just us being human. It's a natural part of biology, and it's okay to be sexually attracted to one another, and to embrace that. It's something to be happy about. In our faith, we are cautioned against arousing sexual feelings in each other before marriage. And my boyfriend and I have absolutely done that, over and over again, when I've known better. Which makes me feel really guilty. Super guilty. I've struggled with scrupulosity for a long time. A really long time. And when I had a therapist who helped me to embrace my sexuality in a positive way, she really challenged my scrupulosity, and it helped me to attain a healthier view of the both myself and my standards, which is great. But in situations like this, I don't know if I'm dealing with scrupulous thoughts that are trying to make me fee feel guilty unnecessarily, or if I'm dealing with godly sorrow, like the kind of guilt that you feel so that you're urged to repent. And my boyfriend and I have kept an open dialogue about all of this since we started dating, and I think we've been communicating well, which is good. But we both agreed that last night, in particular, we really crossed the line, and I feel so guilty about it. We both agreed that this is a joint effort and that there's no blame to be put entirely on either one of us. My boyfriend has been really, really gentle about this subject, and I really appreciate his openness and honesty. But he doesn't see what we've done as anything to repent about. And even though he totally understands if I feel differently, I DO feel like we need to repent, both of us, not just me. He's open to hear any of my thoughts, even if they happened to be negative against him. And I appreciate that. But the guilt has been eating me alive. All the times I've made him moan on purpose because I like it. All the times I've let him talk so dirty to me. And the times I talked so dirty back to him. And I'm just comparing myself to other couples of our faith who may or may not have struggled, because obviously we're not the only ones to struggle. But we've done so much. We've talked so dirty to each other, and we're not even close to being engaged or anything. I just feel so filthy, and I feel ashamed for wanting to go further. A couple years ago, like I said, I had a therapist who really helped me to embrace my sexuality while also staying true to my faith. And I feel like I've really come a long way since then, but this feels different, because masturbation and embracing your own sexuality is different than teasing sex with another person. I just don't know how severe this really is. And I'm worried that I'll be reprimanded. I'm worried what would happen if my parents happened to find out. Not that I'm gonna tell them, but still, I'm really scared. I'd feel bad keeping this from them if it's really serious. I don't know what to do. I need to cry. My stomach hurts. I just feel all kinds of wrong.

If I cheated on my boyfriend or did something unloyal , would it come to mind 8 months later? Wouldn’t I have felt and known about it and that it was wrong the second it had happened ? If I wasn’t worried about it 8 months ago, should I worry about it now ? I have major ocd involving cheating and relationships and self doubt .

Do you ever have interactions with people and fear that during the interaction you may have cheated on your partner and can't seem to recall it? Sometimes when interacting with people I fear I cheated on my spouse with them afterwards. Mainly fearing I've kissed them and somehow instantly forgot. Just wanna know how common this specific fear may be