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Can people please share their experiences on very low dose medications for their OCD? Maybe ones that have worked well with little side effects? Anything is helpful & thank you

I’m new to this and trying to understand why I often feel stressed and overwhelmed by leaving the house to run an errand or see a friend. My boyfriend is an extrovert and I feel overwhelmed when I think of spending time with him because I know he wants to be out and about keeping busy. We live in NYC and lately the city is just too much for me - the noise, crowds, smells. I bailed on him today in a way I’m not proud of. He deserves to have a girlfriend that can and wants to keep up with him. I want to be that person, I want to WANT to do things. It’s so hard to know what is depression, what is personal preference, what is OCD, what is circumstantial, etc. I want to show up for my loved ones, I want to keep commitments, I want to get my errands done.

Im a hypochondriac and recently I’ve been seeing posts about sicknesses and I got worried why all of a sudden they’re popping up on my page. I always think it’s a sign and it scares me especially if i accidentally skip over the videos anyone else?

I’ve been getting stuck in my understanding of OCD lately. When I have intrusive thoughts, although I have OCD, I’m not supposed to label them as part of my condition? Instead I just say maybe/maybe not? It feels like it takes the wind out of my sails a bit in recovery? Like having cancer, but when I go to chemo, I’m supposed to say “maybe I have cancer, maybe I don’t.” Would anyone be able to speak to this and increase my insight and understanding? Thank you!

just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.

I really need help. My ocd spiral has begun again over existential ocd…. That every second that passes becomes the past. Like my daughter will do something cute and my brain will go”thats in the past” it makes no sense but gives me panic attacks. I just want to enjoy my life. Anyone have this and have overcome it? Any help would be amazing!!

Every time I try to talk about what I am feeling I feel like my mind goes blank and I don't know how to start I was diagnosed with OCD and I am taking medication and goes through CBT but I didn't feel like my life was back I didn't feel like I totally understand what is going on inside my mind and why this is happening and how. I feel like there is always something missed that I can't understand . The doctor and therapist didn't define what type of OCD I have But according to what I've read I think it's pure ocd cause I am always trying to understand every single thing and if I don't analyse I feel so frightened and not comfortable and these feelings come to me in different situation even if it's not about analysing. It comes when I draw ,study ,drive a car or just thinking about anything , Like when I think about how should I start a project or a job , I feel like I am soo lost like I am in nowhere so I feel panicked and dozens of thoughts come to my mind and I feel paralysed and soo overwhelmed . And these feelings just stay for a long time without knowing what triggered it so I don't know how to face then and they stay for a long time. I am not able to do anything in my life right now Neither study nor doing my hobbies . I feel like my life is frozen and I don't know if it will stay like this forever or not. Every time I feel like I controlled my ocd and know how to live with it it comes in a different shape that I can't recognise it and it sends me to the beginning and I feel like all my efforts were for nothing . Like it keeps beating me every time. I always afraid of my next setback and I keep feeling insecure and unstable until I have a relapse . Whenever I go through a problem, even the smallest problems, I feel stuck and suffocated and unable to face it with normal flexibility. I always focus on the details of each process so that if I forget how to do it or how I reached the ability to accomplish it, I remember how I did it before. And when I am unable to remember, the overwhelming feelings and frightening haunt me I feel like I'm monitoring my life in every detail so I feel safe, and if life goes smoothly and automatically,I feel frightened Sometimes I can face and deal with OCD in a good way to the point that I can return to my normal life rhythm, but suddenly the desire inside me to achieve and make up for what I missed takes me by surprise, and then an OCD attack takes me back to the beginning and reminds me that I am not as I was before. I feel that I cannot live and achieve what I want and face OCD at the same time. I am studying medicine and I am thinking of leaving it, even though I love it very much, but I am unable to study now, but if I leave it, what I am going through in my study of medicine in any other field will be repeated. Even when I am not doing anything I feel these feelings tie me up , like I feel I don't wanna do anything until these feelings disappear I have been in this state for 4 years. I feel that all my friends are moving forward and I am stuck. Is all of this OCD? I am very lost.

I’ve had OCd my whole life since I was young. It’s just never bothered me. In January this year I had a severe onset which within a month led to some thoughts of suicide, worthlessness, etc. My OCD comes from my career choice and path to be a musician and be a professional guitarist. I play in professional bands that do wedding gigs etc. I practice incessantly and that’s where the OCD comes in. I felt worthless in February because I felt like I can never get better, I’ll never be good enough, or I’ll never achieve what I want. I ended up getting a therapist and a few sessions later I felt a lot better. I was on the up and up and no longer trying to play till 3 am in the morning to perfect something. So much to the point we dialed back sessions and I thought we were close to being out of the woods Fast forward to now and I feel back at square one. A large part of this I think is my uncle passed away and I really mourned his passing a lot. That seemed to be the catalyst for this. But now I’m at a point where once again I feel worthless. I feel like my life is meaningless because everytime I pick up the guitar I can never progress to where I want. If I don’t get what I’m working on in one practice session say a song or a solo it was a waste of time and I’m no good. Yet if I don’t play for hours on end I consider the day a waste because I could’ve been practicing guitar, getting better at my craft. And this intense OCD that makes a vicious cycle with guitar has caused me to hate it and hate that I do it. I no longer have the joy of playing like how I did when I picked it up and now I dread working and doing gigs because of it. It’s been such a long 6 month battle with OcD I just want to be better. I try to tell myself I should live a balanced and have relationships with my gf, friends, family, and that I can have those things, practice a few times a week for like 2-3 hours and achieve what I want. But everytime I say that my OCD trips out and I fall back in. My ocd says I should practice for 8 hours a day, commit myself to guitar so that I can achieve what I want. And what makes it harder is that ocd is backed up by rational thoughts like the fact that practicing does make you better, the best guitarist do practice a lot, etc. I’m just feeling hopeless. I need figure out if I want to live a balanced life or dive into guitar. Neither of them feel like the right decision, and at the same time they both do. My erp training, cbt and everything I talk about with my therapist goes flying out the window when the thoughts get heavy. I just want to be able to achieve my wants and goals on guitar and hopefully not loose my friends family and Girlfreind in the process. Yet I don’t even know what my goals are on guitar at this point because of the cycle I’ve put myself through. Idk if anyone has ever had the experience with ocd and music/career path but if anyone has insight or advice I would appreciate. Thank you 🙏

guys im so scared right now and i know my ocd is making it worse. i keep reading things online about the antichrist and whatever and im so so so scared. i keep reading things and i feel so scared like im choosing a wrong side or something. but i know i love God and Jesus. im so worried im wrong and i have no idea how to overcome this one :( sorry if this scares anyone or anything but any help would be very appreciated

Hi all, First time posting and it comes in the midst of a big spiral and panic. Currently dealing with what we think is borderline existential OCD where I feel like I’ve come to believe that I’m not real, that this is all a dream, that I’m actually a psychotic person walking down the street imagining all of this. Got very triggered yesterday by seeing someone screaming and yelling at what seemed to be nothing. Had a panic attack this morning and just haven’t been a wreck since worrying that I’m going to end up in psych ward, realize I’m actually crazy, etc. Been in NOCD therapy for almost 4 months now and still struggling to sit with the uncertainty, avoid researching, seeking reassurance, and most of all ruminating. Anyone go through something similar and if so what were key tactics you used during these spirals to calm things down and recenter yourself?

Hi, I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. It’s crazy because I never considered it or thought that I had it. There have been some thoughts I look back on that make me wonder if it was OCD the whole time. It came to full fruition recently when I made a bad decision that cascaded into me worrying, and then led me to having these intense intrusive thoughts that I never thought I had. Can OCD magically manifest this intensely for some? I notice a lot of the stories here that people experience all the intrusive thoughts when they were younger. I keep looking back on previous times, making me think I had those same thoughts then. I can’t remember if they were genuine thoughts like I believed them, or if I knew they were bad thoughts and I just got over them. I feel like I am lying to myself every time I have the thoughts and that I’m a bad person because of it. I’m trying to not accept it. I have a few sessions in with my therapist introducing ERP but I wish I could get through this quicker. I feel disgusted with these thoughts and that I might be a bad person. Please help me understand and how to best handle this. Anyone have advice on how to be patient with yourself through this process?

Hi. I’m writing this because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been suffering in silence for so long, and I feel like I’m losing myself more and more every day. I’m 18 years old, and I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with someone who truly loves me( i have these thoughts and bad feelings since month 4 in the relationship) He’s kind, patient, and he really cares. But for a long time now… I’ve been stuck in this horrible cycle of fear, doubt, and emotional numbness. It started slowly — little intrusive thoughts like: • “Do I really love him?” • “What if I’m lying to him?” • “What if I never truly loved him, and I’m just realizing it now?” • “What if I’m wasting my youth in the wrong relationship?” And now? These thoughts feel louder than anything else. I don’t feel love anymore — not clearly. Sometimes I even feel repulsed or irritated. I hate admitting that, because I feel like a horrible person. He hasn’t done anything wrong — in fact, he just wants me to be happy and close again. But I feel like I’ve lost all my feelings, my sexual desire, my clarity, and my connection. It feels like my chest is heavy all the time. Every day I obsess: “Am I in denial?” “Is this ROCD, or is it just the truth?” “Should I break up? Should I stay?” “Am I wasting both our lives by not ending it?” “Why can’t I feel anything? Why can’t I be normal again?” I feel so guilty because I’m not treating him with love anymore. Sometimes I’m rude, cold, distant — and it kills me, because that’s not the kind of partner I want to be. I’m scared I’m ruining him and myself. What makes it worse is that I remember how things used to be — how safe I felt, how excited I was, how much I wanted him. But now, those memories feel so distant, like they happened to someone else. I feel disconnected from who I used to be, from him, and from myself. I keep thinking, “You’re only 18, you should be enjoying life, not crying every day over this.” I feel like I’m wasting my youth, my joy, my energy — but at the same time, I can’t leave. Because a part of me still wants to be with him. A part of me wants to want him again. But right now, I just feel broken and terrified and unsure of who I even am anymore. I’ve tried to talk to people close to me, but most don’t understand. Some get angry or say I’m overthinking. Others say “maybe it’s just not meant to be.” But it doesn’t feel that simple. Because if I didn’t care… I wouldn’t be this afraid. If I didn’t love him at all… I wouldn’t be this devastated by the idea of losing him. But what do you do when you want to love, and you can’t feel it? When your brain is screaming “THIS ISN’T RIGHT!” and your heart is too quiet to answer? Please… if anyone has been through this — if anyone has healed or has advice — I need to hear it. I want to be a kind partner again. I want to feel safe and clear again. I want to stop this spiral that’s been eating me alive. What helped you? What did you do when it felt so real and so final? How did you get through the days when all you felt was guilt and doubt and dread? Thank you for reading this. Even writing it helps me breathe a little. Please, if you’ve felt this way before… tell me how you kept going. 💔

Hello everyone! I’m starting to recognize when my thoughts begin to spiral, when i’m seeking reassurance or checking. But I still have the sense of uneasiness and anxiety. I was wondering what others do that allow them to move forward with their day when they realize this? I don’t know if I’m making sense, but what are ways you pull the focus back to the present and yourself? Like besides saying “maybe or maybe not”, more like what do you do with yourself after you recognize the thoughts? I feel like I’m at a “now what?” and don’t know what to do with my anxious energy. I’m trying to find something physical to help me so if you also have any hobbies or interests that help I would love to hear it.

since one of my biggest fears/events of my reocd happened (not the way i thought it would happen!) i've been healing and understanding a lot of things (like the fact i was the one being abused in my old relationship) but thanks to that my ocd has been trying to launch on a new event and i don't know. i was in a cut and off relationship with my ex three years ago, this happened when i was an older teenager and really confused. during the time i cut off momentary with him i started to get compliments and cute messages in an anonymous confession page and used to post them replying in a playful way or just with genuine curiousity. the thing is, i got with my ex once again in secret for the last time but honestly i'm realizing lately that i didn't love him anymore and being with him made me feel terrible but i wasn't strong enough to leave him once for all. i didn't tell any of my friends about this because they hated him (for a good reason) and i was also disappointed on myself for this. he pushed me a lot make it public and i would say to him a lot of times that i wasn't sure. the thing is, that i still got that type of messages on that anonymous confession page and still publish them on my profile while being with my ex in secret, but eventually i stopped doing that. then i finally left my ex (was horrible). but since what happened to me, i cant stop thinking if that was cheating – it was cheating? i'm not sure anymore and i feel like im going to have a relapse.

I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲

how has the end times and discussions affected your anxiety? for me its been very constant and scary, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (no negative replies please)

God is so good. Imagine goin thru ocd 200 years ago with no diagnosis and no medication

I feel like a p because my little brother was telling his friend that I had a hand a game called slap battles and I was happy to join the game it’s like why do I feel happy because of that I remember I use to help people get badges for the game and this one kid who I would always help and I would join to play with him and he was telling me he’s from this country and he was 8 or something and I feel like a p because of that thank God he unfriend me because till this day I think about it and if he was still my friend I don’t think I would sleep at night thinking if I said or did something wrong in the game Like he asked one day how old I was and I didn’t want to tell him but I think back at it and I’m just like did I not want to tell him because I wanted to do something or I didn’t tell him because I wanted to fit in? I feel so bad when my brother friends friended me and I don’t friend them back because I know what rejection is like and I’m not trying to be mean but I just won’t sleep at night thinking about if I did something I just get upset It’s so upsetting and it makes me want to cry

Just noticed something that helped me today. I was having the realization a lot of my issues stem from me not taking responsibility for my own life, and also not recognizing my own self-limiting beliefs (SLBs) and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs.) In doing this, I learned that the only way forward is confronting my deepest darkest fears head on and associated irrational/self limiting beliefs- and that for years and years, I have simply retreated and run away. One of my deepest darkest fears (one of my obsessions) is rooted in the understandable fear of the worst of humanity, and the 'what if' I was that (like many of us.) I actually can have compassion for myself because it is perfectly okay to be scared of the worst of people, and if something like that is perpetuated throughout pop culture-media- it would make sense to have associated thoughts about it. The fear is that I am a serial killer or have motives of one. And the OCD has caused me to constantly question my motives and actions to no end (how OCD latches on- makes you look for evidence where there is none.) For the longest time, I have been convinced I am one, and need to hide myself from the world, avoid people more than just because of social anxiety, what my main anxiety was back then. I look for signs everywhere- and the OCD latches on to any perceived (not real) evidence that I am one, that people think I am one. When I decided to confront this fear rather than run away like I have for years, it made me realize it is just a fear- it has nothing to do about who I am as a person, despite how strong the OCD tries to convince you otherwise. It is so sad how strong OCD can be, to make so many of us good intending people be convinced that they are something horrible. Anyway, I hope this can help people realize the best way forward is to confront it head on. It's akin to shining a light on the monster and seeing it for what it is - a goofy thing with fake prosthetics for a movie that isn't a monster after all- a sheep in wolfs clothing. It's just you have been running from it so long, your imagination has gotten so detailed about how horrible it is, hearing its fake growls, instead of turning around and blasting it with a spotlight. This is I guess what ERP is about. For me, one of the struggles with ERP and a specific exposure is that the OCD will jump to a different obsession , which then tells me ERP is a waste because Im not confronting the 'most recent' fear. This is faulty thinking though- because the solution is to confront the fear, not the specific thought. By doing that, you learn to not run away and do all the compulsions in your mind. Tl;dr- long winded post about me realizing how I have actually been avoiding the solutions (ERP) and making up reasons to not confront my fears this whole time. I have been running instead of shining a light on the sheep in wolfs clothing.

I really need help. My brain is torturing me right now. Basically me and my boyfriend went through a really rough patch and he wasn’t communicating what was wrong and I started to just lose feelings and not feel how I used to which was the most upsetting thing because I swear we are soulmates. Anyway so we broke up for like a day before he realized he’s really sad without me and he is finally willing to work on communication and our issues and this is the most I’ve really ever felt he notices it this time. I am supposed to go see him and he is so excited and I’m freaking out. I want to see him but I keep thinking how it’s triggering for me cause I don’t want to go back to that rough patch cause it lasted a long time. I want to try again but I also feel like it’s easier to just run away from everything. It feels like I got to know his personality but that isn’t fair to say because now he’s aware and wants to change. I’m scared because I know feelings can come back and I hope mine can cause right now I just keep replaying the past and the bad stuff. He seems really willing to work on it this time which should make me so happy but I’m also so scared things will go back to how they were and I’m worried if I’m this anxious my body is telling me he isn’t right for me and that it’s not ocd which would really upset me because I’ve had such hope. I know my feelings started to go away but that’s cause of how we were to each other and now we are aware of the problem. Does it mean I shouldn’t be with him if the thought of trying again makes me so anxious or is that just the fear? I wish this wanting to work through things happened before I felt like this and now I’m scared I won’t get it back. I’m also scared that there is someone out there better for me and by being with him I’m blocking that. But the thought of being without him makes me so sad. I want to try to see him differently and maybe see it’s different but I’m scared it’s not. I’m afraid of a million things. What if it’s too late and I can’t get my feelings back? What if I’m forever anxious around him? What if being with him prevents me from meeting other people? I haven’t seen him in a while cause he was away and people say I won’t know how I feel till I see him. It feels like once I get there I already know though that I’ll have the same thoughts and won’t be able to get back to how I felt because it became uncomfortable but I’ve heard I’m anticipating it. I’m scared it’s gut and not ocd