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I used to be a past addict and I know what it looks like but now Its so hard for me to partake recreationally to anything without paranoia my health will just plummet. I partook in the booga suga last night and I know it triggers my ocd most times I do it and I’m stopping completely after this party im going to this weekend just because of how much the “repercussions”scare me. I honestly don’t do it often like 1 or 2 nights a month for just this past year and it doesn’t ALWAYS go like this but it does a lot where I get a little blood in my snot and then I start freaking out that i’ve messed up my brain or “am i doing this too much am I addicted?” Or what if I get a hole in my nose then I start going down rabbit holes scaring myself even worse. Ik what you’re probably all thinking is “why do it then?” I just wanna be able to have a little fun with my friends and not freak out about it. But I have explained to them that I’m quitting completely after this party we go to. I don’t want it in my life anymore I have completely kicked other things from my life that have royally messed me up this is just another thing I want to be rid of because of the fears that come along with it. Does anyone else experience this? Im spiraling right now honestly its rare I write on here but its kinda helping me at least stay off the internet.

How does everyone try to combat their real event OCD? I keep remembering this certain memory where an old friend of mine from a group years ago who was a guy messaged me on Snapchat last year on Halloween he said something to me. I don’t remember what he said and I responded and I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember that I removed him right after, as well as one other guy, I do remember why I removed them and it was because I had a thought where I was like “I don’t want my fiance seeing these guys that I used to talk to on my snap and think that I’m doing something wrong or anything.” I know I removed them out of respect for our relationship and I remembered because I remembered I had gotten an anxious and nervous because they were still on my snap, but 2 months after I un added that guy off my snap(December 2024) I panicked because I don’t remember what I said or he said and I got worried about what if I flirted and said something wrong. I spoke to my fiancé about it and he pretty much reassured me and he told me that if I had actually done something out of that intent, I wouldn’t have told him about it at all, so that helped me and reassured me for a little bit, and then my OCD moved on to another theme for months. Fast forward to now, I remembered the same thing and my thought was “What if I cheated and I blocked it out of my memory.” And I started freaking out again and I started panicking. I told my fiancé about it again and he reassured me again but recently my OCD has been really bad and every theme I’ve had has caused me to have bad mental breakdowns intensely, it just sucks because I can’t go check if I actually said something flirty and I just didn’t realize it because I added the guy last year right after I talk to him I just wanted to know if anyone has any thing that they do whenever they have a problem with their relevant OCD around the cheating theme. Because my fiancé is a god sent and I’d never ever want to hurt him, I hate that my ocd attaches to him because it makes me feel like I’m a horrible person.

I am having troubling understanding something. I worry that I don’t love my partner and that I don’t want to be with them, yet I have no intentions to break up with them. Deep in my heart I know I love him, that I want something with him. Yet I still feel anxious, I felt anxious even as I typed that. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

My friend messaged me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with her over spring break. Obviously I said yes because I never get to go anywhere and I asked my parents. They just said maybe and I didn’t think into it. Well I asked my dad a little bit ago and he started telling me all of the bad things that could happen to me if I go down there (not going to elaborate bc I want to keep this short). They made me spiral pretty bad because now I feel like everything will go wrong if I get the chance to go. I just want to be a normal teenager that isn’t driven into fear because of her parents. It’s not that they outright stop me from doing things, rather they manipulate me into being petrified from even trying.

should i feel bad for unintentionally killing flies that were on the organic waste in my sink? i was cleaning stuff with water and i knew that they were there so first i shaked the bin a bit that is inside the sink, i had mold in my pot and i cleaned with water and i saw after that there 3-4 small flies dead in the water i tried to save one but it was too late. i knew i could have accidentally killed them by i tried to mildly avoid killing them with the water i was using in the sink. i know it's overthinking, still it matters no?

Not OCD related but I kinda need help. I adopted a baby kitten and I'm worried he'll be unhappy. He's really comfortable around the house and loves to jump on me and sleep with me. He bites a lot, and I'm trying to teach him to stop. But a few times he tried to bite my feet, and I accidentally kicked him 😰. He is the most precious thing and I am worried I am not a good owner. When I carry him in like, baby style, he loves it and purrs, sometimes I take him out of his little house to cuddle with him, and I feel guilty but then he won't leave. He loves to play, but sometimes it seems like he is scared, but Honestly I think he likes to play pega pega, I am just so worried!! Tips would be so helpful!

About a week ago I was walking my dog in this quiet and secluded neighborhood that we always walk in. We never run into trouble. However, on this particular day a chihuahua bolted out of a car that had just pulled into a driveway and immediately started barking and biting at my dog’s feet. For context, I have a 2 year old golden doodle. She’s a medium sized dog and is about 80+ lbs. She’s friendly, isn’t aggressive, and is very shy when befriending other dogs. She was ambushed into having this interaction with this chihuahua that’s already starting off hostile so she’s doing anxious circles around me to get away from it. I’m using my foot to shoo it away, trying not to hurt it, as the owner is near me trying to grab it. The owner is taking too damn long to grab his dog so mine, who is a flight rather than a fight, tries to run a bit to get away. Y’all im 5’2 and around 100lbs idk. So when she yanks the leash forward, my upper body goes forward too. My hoodie goes over my eyes and I can’t see where she’s taking me for a moment. I manage to stand up straight and the owner is able to get his dog. My adrenaline was so high that it wasn’t until after the interaction I noticed two of my fake nails had ripped off my fingers and one was bleeding. She is fine as she has a thick coat and has no wounds. She was just stressed and confused. I’ve been monitoring her behavior and she’s still my happy girl ^v^. After this experience I was in my head about what I could’ve done better, what I should’ve done instead, and how I’ll be able to defend her if (god forbid) it happens again. It all unfolded so fast and unexpectedly that I got tunnel vision and blacked out on what to do. I try to walk her at least once a day so we both just get our legs moving and enjoy the outdoors beyond our yard that she enjoys laying and people watching on teehee. So I still want to walk her, I just wonder what measures I could take to defend her. After what happened i learned to not restrain my strength when it comes to being aggressive back if a dog won’t back down. She’s a sensitive dog so I’m going to try my hardest to be her strength if that ever happens again. Any suggestions?

20+ only please I think I am a p because I am awake with my eyes closed and I’m thinking of a girl I use to know in middle school and we are having relations and I’m turned on and I felt like Masterb##### too I’m not sure if I intentionally thought it or it was an intrusive dream I was checking also

a few months ago, as a teenager (19) i was in a weird fwb with someone who was 28-29. there was a situation where i couldve coerced them into something. not outright, but like a gray area in terms of pushing boundaries because i misread the situation as teasing or needing to prove myself in a sxual manner. i did express to the person throughout the whole interaction how i was worried i was making them uncomfortable, eventually they told me they didn’t feel coerced or assaulted but they did not want to do it at first and they felt “seduced” or like they “gave in”. we both wanted to please each other but didn’t want the other to please one another if that makes sense. when the actual act happened it was on his terms and he gave the okay for it to happen, but what led up to it was me still asking even though he said no cause he was sweaty after the gym. me and this person no longer speak but i just got reminded of the situation and i dont really know how to move on without drowning in shame or avoiding accountability. i don’t really feel like i want reassurance just maybe advice .

I was just like, playing Roblox, and I hid in the same corner as this guy with a skin all in the color of his skin, and he left, but then he came back and seemed like he was harassing me, like, walking back and forth, but I'm pretty sure he wanted me to get out because I left and he just went back to the corner, but OCD is telling me someone harassed me in the game and it's making me nervous.

Recently, I had a thought in my head, what if my daughter got mixed up in the maternity hospital and supposedly it's not my daughter? You have no idea how much my heart broke from worries and fear. I love my daughter madly and such thoughts hurt me. If I could control other thoughts, cope with them myself, I couldn't handle this one. I started crying right in front of my husband from anxiety and from a panic attack. I went to my mother abroad for fear of recovering, I got a little distracted, came to my senses, then I came to my home. Everything was fine, I was absolutely happy in my family as always. But today this thought came to my mind again and I've been anxious since morning. I don't want to burst into tears again and tell this to my husband. My daughter is my photocopy, she definitely looks like me, after giving birth she was immediately brought to me, all the tags matched, they had my name on them, there are even photos and tags I keep. But how am I going to live with this obsessive thought? I don't know how to get rid of it (it's the worst thing that could have happened. I've had ocd for a long time, and there were different topics, but this one is the most terrible. What is more, I'm pregnant now and I can't be stressed. Help, what should I do and how can I prove to my brain that it's all nonsense?

It's a damn shame that those instruments are good for studying as it creates flashcards of subjects and explain stuff you dont understand very well... but upon reading how they're relying on cobalt mining in congo it feels iffy, like Google is involved in a case with child labor in Congo, as well as chatGPT as they all rely on cobalt. I really want to use it to enter in university but i'm torn from the moral side. It's not like if i stop anything is gonna change, the rise of AI is inevitable. i don't know if i should sacrifice a part of my conscience so that i enter in the university and i can help people afterwards to atone.

I feel as though I have struggled with hypersexuality and p*rn addiction for years or my life due to maladaptive coping with anxiety and childhood s*xual trauma that I haven’t necessarily worked through. Every time I “relapse” per se, when I’m extremely anxious and I suppose need a little dopamine and oxytocin boost - some serotonergic action in my brain, I will engage with rather s*xual or er*tic material and I always describe it as “the bad thing” because I feel I will be punished by God for turning back to this sinful behavior. I recognize it’s bad and I feel I am punished every time. Like every time it happens, something goes wrong, in my body, in my life, like my luck turns rotten and my health to shit and I can’t stop but think… is it really irrational hyper religious thinking or are these genuinely “coincidental” occurrences actually a sign from God? Like am I being told to stop? It’s from the universe to protect me and guide me back to the right path and I need to be punished as a reminder? I am scared because I am God fearing and I don’t want to burn in hell for my sins not continue to sin but I feel it’s hard to control sometimes and I’m tired of being punished. Anyone else have a similar experience?

My therapist has rightly nailed the deeper issue I'm having. My OCD centers around feeling like I'm being rejected by God. I feel like maybe God told me to marry someone else and I didn't listen in marrying my husband (who is supportive and kind). And since I didn't listen, I'm no longer accepted by God. It's when I get to this deeper issue that I am stuck in my OCD. My therapist said I might want to be okay with being uncertain about my beliefs. It's do hard to get to this issue. I know my ROCD with my husband might resolve if I can be okay with my ROCD a with God, but I feel so condemned that I avoid looking at that aspect at all cost. It's too much for me. I don't know if any of you have felt this and how you were able to lean into the uncertainty that you might not be able to live with God or your family for eternity.

What if you did something so extremely disgusting, awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were genuinely extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and vomit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 13 or 14... I cant remember... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rpist at all… I was either 13 or 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 24... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was either 13 or 14 at the time… now I’m 24… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was either 13 or 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was either 13 or 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I cant remember if i was 13 or 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13-14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was also extremely horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible... (edited)

long story short my mom yelled at me today because my grandma allowed me to pay anything I needed on her card. I had a medical debt of 272 dollars that I payed with her card. She went to the bank and wasn’t sure the cost and she called me asking was it a charge i made. I explained that it was an accident charge and they will pay her back. I said this instead to cover the fact that I did use her card I was afraid to tell her. I know what I did was wrong even if she offered me her card. My mom yelled at me saying how can I do that and I shouldn’t ask her for money anymore. I even offered to take out my emergency savings to pay her back and my mom refused saying the damage I did was done that my grandmas account was overdrawn. I never ask for money unless I need to from my family because they complain. I am a college student out of state and I am almost done finishing school but I feel alone sometimes because I just wish I had a family that cares about me. That would at least send me 20 dollars for gas weekly. Growing up I always was alone and had the responsibility of taking care of everyone in my family and I did it from my heart even though I knew they were using me. I would overwork myself just because I wanted to be loved. I guess what I’m trying to say is now since all this happened. What will I do? I am a full time college student and I have to pay for gas and food. Also I have weekly medication because I am hypoglycemic. My heart aches because I just want to be loved by a parent that cares about their child. My family has never loved me they just use me and it hurts. I feel like the pain in my heart over the years of family trauma just grows and grows. All I want is to be loved by a family and I never experienced that being the oldest daughter who lost their childhood being a parent at a young age. I want a hug from a loving parent a “you are doing great”. Just parents that don’t complain about helping their daughter. Now I’m just laying in bed trying to be nice to myself because I made a mistake. I blame myself for trusting them because I know how my family is. After my mom yelled at me she asked me if I need money and I said no. If worst comes to worst I will try to work again it’s just about finding time.

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for like 10 years now and it was always pretty minor compulsions and thoughts. Around a year ago I had my first panic attack stemming from my left arm hurting and then thinking I would have a heart attack. Ever since that night I’ve had extreme ocd about symptoms and health issues. It feels like an endless cycle with my anxiety causing physical symptoms and then me obsessing over them. I can’t even get a headache anymore without thinking I’m gonna have an aneurism or something. I just want to re-gain control bc this is taking over my life and I remember what my life was like before this and miss it

Hi everyone I wanted to know if it legal for someone for prohibiting me from joining activities due to my mental disability which is “ADHD”. This is what was said to me in an email. i have adhd and my pastor said these 3 problems are an issue in the church. (Your situation limits your ability to control behavior. Your response to external assistance or limits is consistently to reject or work around them. Your perspective is confined to your own experience of a situation.)

I have scrupulosity and it’s impacting my Christian faith. I do study the Bible but I am taking a break so as not to trigger it too much, but my Christianity is important and I want to study it and how do I do so without triggering that? My trigger is mainly on heaven & hell, so my plan was to study something else other than that.