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Can anyone with experience in these themes talk? I’m feeling so alone and ready to accept these thoughts as true so the distress can finally end. I just need help.

Im scaredd, i have to do a catholic confession soon, it’ll be my first one but im really anxiouss, i feel like i dont know what is or whats not a sin anymore cus i started researching a lot of exams of conscience and stuff and it almost seems like everythings a sin, even though i was originally taught that its just things in the commandments but i feel if i dont say some stuff not in commandments then id feel really guilty afterwards and as if i hided smt, plus im really socially anxious and i asked a priest once for tips for scrupulosity/religious ocd and he literally said “just dont worry so much, I have Jesus with me so i dont worry” but like ik hes a priest but its not that easy! Ill be confessing with another one but any tips for that first confession?? I feel as if i dont really even remember what i have done wrong, but i have to do it in a few days i really dont want to 😭 ⚠️trigger warning ⚠️ I also saw sh is a sin is that really true?? I dont know how a priest would react…

Hmmm, so I prefer to stay at home, but being at home also makes me focus more on my thoughts, and if I go out of the house I don't have any friends to go out with, and my friends are also busy😔, I draw and journal but I'm mostly lazy, like suddenly I lost interest in the middle of drawing and journaling,please give me some advice, Honestly, I suddenly thought about this because it was triggered by my aunt's story about someone😭😭, then I was like "damn, it's quite relatable"☠️ , I'm scared now, and honestly, before my ocd relapsed, I just enjoyed being at home, I was really happy before but now idk lol I comfortable to stay at home but yaaa scared too 🥲 (Idk why I overthinking so easily, lol)

Allen Kester has elevated my life is ways I didn’t even think was fathomable six months ago. I came to Allen emotionally exhausted, and fed up and pissed off at the medical establishment, like a dog in the pound that wants to bite if you even try to pet me. Then slowly, you see the same dog months later after experiencing earnest care and affirming patience, the animal is new again, wanting to go on walks and to play catch. Allen brought me back to life. If our calendar is based off BC, my life is BA. There is Before Allen and After Allen. Before Allen, I had two different therapists with NOCD that left me frustrated and not feeling any significant improvement. Before them I had a different therapist that lasted three times before she told me “I don’t have the skills to help you. Your insomnia is so bad they will study you in textbooks someday. I don’t know how you’re still alive, let alone functioning.” The various medical doctors were zero help either. They only know one thing: take a pill and if the pills don’t work, they said they didn’t have anything else to offer and told me to find a therapist. Doing so was an arduous journey. The problem was how long and difficult the process was to find one, and then when you finally get into one, it felt so sterile and non-personalized, like I was just some number on their chart. You can’t treat people like a product on a factory line giving them all the same process and expect them to be treated. I was about to give up, then I reached out to NOCD own final time and saw Allen’s profile. Reluctantly but desperately, I approached Allen like he was Obi One Kenobi, my only hope. Slowly, Allen nursed me back to health. In time, I felt like Aladdin and Allen was my Genie, granting me superpowers to overcome the darkness that OCD has cast on my life for years. During the week I’d think: what would Allen tell me to do in this moment? And our sessions were something I looked forward to, when all others with past providers I dreaded attending. As a teacher myself, I know how the connection or lack there of between student and professor not only changes the course itself, but can alter the course of the students’ life. For years, I’d start crying out of no where because OCD made me feel perpetually petrified. The agony and terror left me broken and drained. Last month, I cried tears of joy and relief because I realized for the first time in years, I went three weeks and wasn’t afraid anymore. Allen had set me free! I was Kevin in the movie Home Alone towards the end when the heater in the basement and the next-door neighbor no longer feel like monsters. I had been carrying that weight for so long I had forgotten what it felt like to walk without chains. Working with Allen made me feel like Scrooge at the end of A Christmas Carol: jubilant and free, like I was walking on air. This is life After Allen. I’m Nike, I float now thanks to the personalized care, earnest empathy, affirmations, insights, directions, coaching, and kindness Allen gave to me. My prayer is that every person finds their Allen. We all deserve to be freed from the fear of OCD and have that Genie whispering into your ear when OCD decides to return for an occasional visit, that OCD no longer has power here. Give this man a raise and a promotion and have him train others in what leading with love looks like. People aren’t parts on an assembly line, we are clay that with the right amount of water and gentle, skilled hands, can be reshaped and brought back to life. May every person suffering know the rejuvenation of life After Allen.

Has anyone noticed that when they're physically exhausted and in pain due to strenuous work their OCD/intrusive thoughts are significantly magnified? Like most of us that have multiple forms of OCD amongst other mental health disorders. I've noticed at work which my current job is extremely physically demanding that my intrusive crazy OCD thoughts hit me like a tidal wave compared to when I'm able to not necessarily isolate but have time to relax and "recharge" I guess. Of course OCD is an anxiety induced disorder but I really don't feel as if my anxiety is heightened anymore than when I'm surrounded by people and with my medication it's bearable but I've recently injured my already "bad" ankle as well as my knee and my OCD ruminating, repeated phrases, behaviors, crazy intrusive thoughts have become far worse. Has anyone else noticed this?

OCD is NOT a disease. It took me a while to figure this out but it’s no coincidence that OCD creates stronger and smarter humans. So don’t go around pretending like you have some burden because you’re a fricking real life super hero and your destiny is bright. Love y’all ❤️

is avoiding certain tasks some form of compulsion? when i remember i need to do something that seems uncomfortable, i postpone it with other more comfortable tasks until i forget (e.g: washing face instead of doing the skincare i planned, organizing my fridge instead of cooking when i was going to the kitchen only to make some food) all of that to "feel prepared". does anyone relate to any of that? 😮‍💨

Can I Fully Depend On ChatGPT Free Versiom For ERP?

I was with my bf since 11 am yesterday and I’m still here today and in the mist of being here it’s gotten sexual and like Sunday I kept getting images of somebody else and it keeps convincing me it was that somebody else and this is a crime. He lives 30 minutes from me and I took an uber and my brain convinced me I left home but then I already solved that so now it’s convincing me it happened days ago. I don’t know what to do anymore and describe this feeling because he’s physically here in front of my face but why do I feel like a monster that committed a crime. And if my brain convinced me days ago that it really happened that time then why am I worried about it now. When it happened Sunday I took before and after pics of us and I did it again but nothing is convincing me.

I try to imagine a future w my bf and it just keeps popping up my exes face. Or anything. It’s so distressing. Even talking abt it feels like cheating.

my full story!!! never have i questioned my gender. i never experienced any form of GD nor have i ever wanted to be a boy. i had always wanted to be a pretty, feminine lady. when i was 10 had this typical style that all young girls have at some point—it was like pink tank tops, white skirts and yellow shorts. i loved shopping for various skincare products (to be fair, mainly to impress my cousin and sister) and i LOVED hair. i always wanted long, blonde hair. i wanted to be a hairdresser. despite all of this, i’m left with the lingering question: “what if i’m trans?” this started from a dream i had about me wearing a suit and tie. it was very random but it freaked me out. i researched why i had the dream and it all the questions were all the same. “you might admire some women in suits!” “you might aspire to have power!” “you might want to be a girl boss!” none of these excuses felt like me. it didn’t feel right so i just kept searching. but here’s the other thing. this next thing is sort of what feeds the obsession. i use envy men a lot. like i always thought they got more attention, more power and people swooned over them more than women. i was introduced to a popular fandom at the start of 2025 which i literally loved. the main ship were two straight men. i shipped them. i admired the dynamic. their ship got the most attention in the show. i of course blamed that on gender. i got very jealous of the attention and wanted to be in a relationship like that. like i would try and act like one of the characters (i didn’t try to look like him i just wanted to be like him because he seemed cool) and imagined myself being with a boy (me as a girl though) and basically ‘wearing the pants’ in the relationship because the more dominant man in a mlm or even the most dominant person in a straight ship always seem like the coolest. i still imagined myself as a woman like i didn’t want to be in a gay relationship, i wanted to be in a straight relationship. but in october last year i saw a video that resonated with me. it said “i want to be in a mlm relationship as a woman” and the top comment was “this is how i found out i was trans btw” and that didn’t scare me. but then i got curious. i didn’t feel like a boy and i still don’t now. so i went onto chat gpt… yeah i know. not the best. i rarely visit that website anymore. but i told it about what i was going through and it said all these different labels which i didnt understand. demigirl however, resonated with me. at least i thought it did. a few weeks later it kinda just wore off. but i started to get involved with political matters and yada yada i was an alt girl. i was very accepting of the lgbtqia community. i wanted a future in human rights or politics. i think i kind of tried to push labels onto myself as the alt community is very diverse. i have also been dealing with other themes recently regarding health and i’m worried that the fact that trans ocd faded go a bit and it came back meant i was in denial. and why when i read the phrase “trans man” i get weird excited feelings that i have never felt? and the other night i was looking at pictures of myself when i was really young wearing dresses and what not and it made me feel happy. it provided me with a bit of certainty. advice? also here are the main intrusive thoughts i get \\\\- what if i’ve been lying to myself my whole life? \\\\- what if i’m trans? \\\\- what if i’m in denial? \\\\- what if everyone leaves me? \\\\- what if i find out later and everyone leaves me? \\\\- what if i’m secretly trans? \\\\- what if i’m trans without euphoria or dysphoria? \\\\- what if because i would try and act like boys in kindergarten to impress boys means i’m a boy? \\\\- what if my life is a lie? \\\\- what if i’ve been repressing my whole life? and my compulsions: \- testing how i feel with he him or son or with a masculine body (i tested how i felt with a deep voice and i felt dizzy, anxious, sad, and i almost started crying.) \- reassurance seeking \- mental reviewing i have always wanted to be a mother, a girlfriend and a wife. i don’t want to lose this part of me.

I've been in ERP since October after my OCD symptoms skyrocketed at the beginning of my pregnancy (currently 31 weeks). My therapist and I have been running into a wall a lot lately because I'm having a VERY hard time doing response prevention as I'm home alone with my 4 year old nearly all day every day, who is a big trigger for me considering my struggles specifically with POCD. So, I find myself doing mental compulsions ALL the time. And I sometimes am not even sure of what I'm doing, even though I've been educated on the topic. Meds are not on the table until after baby comes, and I have no opportunity for outpatient programs in my area. My therapist is trying to give me options so I can be best supported and said if I was interested in trying I-CBT, she could refer me to a therapist who specializes in it. But I've already done so much ground work for ERP, that part of me feels like I'd have to start at square one to do I-CBT. Also, I feel like some tactics conflict one another among the two forms of therapy, which might end up confusing me. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Does anyone have any thoughts? Has anyone benefited more from I-CBT than ERP who struggled with a lot of mental compulsions? Any feedback would be appreciated ❤️

"(Said person) was a lonely guy, had zero friends, is quite shut out of the world, awkward, and turns out to be a murderer or disturbing individual." I hear an example of that during History class and it spiked my OCD up. :^( I'm quiet, lies. I'm really loud, but due to my school past, real events, and mental illness, I'm really shy and quite shut down. I rarely have any friends, and overall I'm very awkward and almost feel like an alien and odd . I know that doesn't mean I'll be a murderer/weirdo in the future (despite Real Event OCD/OCD in general twisting it all), but along with the "quiet kid" stereotype- I'm scared that people somehow see me as that way. It doesn't help that I used to be awfully EDGY as a younger teen. I just feel like an alien, and it messes with how I see myself as a girl. I'm really into cute and all feminine stuff but with all of this, I just feel so sub-human and I compare myself to every girl I see. I've began to dissociate with these thoughts and it just sucks . I feel so insecure and don't feel alive. I've been wondering if I might be neurodivergent as well with the way my social cues are & other factors, but I don't know.. : ( Does anyone have insight/experience on these things ?

Hey everyone. I need a friend right now. I feel like you guys are the only ones who understand truly. And I need advice. And I need a friend. Specifically one who gets periods. I have been on here a few times complaining my period is late and the OCD it brings up to me. I’m celibate. Abstinent? Technically still a virgin. So is my partner. We don’t want the risk of kids. And abstinence is the best way. We have no stable life to give them so it isn’t an option- Despite this every month my period is late. Even just by a day or even if I’m not early. I assume I’m pregnant. It’s a huge fear of mine. Every single month. The specifics of this fear is one of a few. My lovely partner did something to me in my sleep. I know he’d never do anything without my consent so it then moves too. You cheated on him. And just don’t remember. Then it turns to no one will believe you. And you’ll lose the trust of everyone you love. And they’ll all abandon you (that’s where most of my stuff goes too. Being alone) with some sick ones of looking at every male around me with suspicion because if not my partner then who. Because my brain convinced me somehow I fell pregnant impossibly. This is the longest I have ever gone without a period. 48 days I’m pretty sure since the last one. I haven’t skipped a period since I was 11. I have felt period symptoms I thought. A cramp sensation in my ovaries, sensitive nips. All things I have felt before a period before. But no period. My brain is twisting these too though. Then there is the “oh no what if it’s something worse. Like a cancer or anything like that” which freaks me out a lot. My last few periods were (tmi) brown or black-ish? Like the blood wasn’t fresh. I went to the doctors, given my cousin having PCOS. And me having some symptoms that match. She wanted me to do a blood test. I have been putting it off. Scared to know and scared to not. I can’t bring myself to go. Mainly because they never find my veins so I become a pin cushion sometimes with no results. But also because I’m so scared. It’s nearly been a week since I last tried to let them take blood.. I can’t do what I need to do. And I’m terrified. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could do it. But I simply can’t get myself too. Please help me anyone. How do I get through this?

My boyfriend is going through a hard time in life and I already have a hard time trying to not think i'm the cause but we had a conversation today about his issues and mine - he said mine are like a little wrinkle on the relationship that he's not used to but it's not overwhelming - so I know he's okay atleast for now - my problem is first, i keep trying to replay the conversation in my head to see if we are still okay or if i've pushed him away because of my need to constantly talk about it - but in reality i actually try not to talk about it too much to overwhelm him - but secondly, he's the person I want to talk to the most about and try to find comfort in him

The other day i was feeling desperate and hopeless. So I made a post on here to rant because I feel like the topic is so taboo that I didn’t have anywhere else to go. A few hours later, my post got flagged for asking for reassurance. In my post I don’t think I deliberately asked for reassurance, and essentially just wrote down everything that was going through my head. My making this post I guess all I was hoping for was for someone to say “You are not alone” but instead it felt like a slap in the face. I understand that asking for reassurance can be dangerous in OCD but I know that the situation I’m going through right now is deeper rooted than OCD but it keeps getting brushed off because I have been diagnosed with OCD. Even then though, My old therapist used to tell me not to hang out with others with ocd because we’ll just make things worse for each other and that makes the condition even more isolating. It’s like they want to treat us all like we have CF and aren’t allowed to come in contact with each other. Again like I can’t talk about it, I can’t talk about it, so I come here to a safe place I feel like I can talk about it and they tell me to keep it to myself.

Today is my 16th birthday and ocd is attack me so badly, its real event combined with false memory and its extremely extremely taboo that I cant even say it on this app or it'll get taken down. It hurts how I can't tell anyone and I literally just ended up breaking down.

My SOOCD is running rampant today. I’m in a happy relationship, I plan to spend the rest of my life with this man. Recently after listening to to coworkers talk about their SOO and dating life etc I found myself questioning myself. I could notice someone’s lips or physique or facial structure and because they’re of the same sex my mind says “What if you’re gay?” And then that in turn leads to so many more what ifs and questions and it brings me anxiety. I try to say “maybe maybe not” but sometimes it doesn’t seem to work. I’m come to the conclusion attractiveness is a spectrum and I find both genders attractive in their own ways but I have never desired to have sexual interaction with the same sex. Queue the OCD “BUT WHAT IF”. Anyways I’m just struggling today. What if I was? I wouldn’t want to leave my relationship, I love him so much and he loves me and he’s my very best friend. Isn’t that what we all aim for anyways? Regardless of gender don’t we all want to be loved? So I’m happy… why does my brain keep questioning such good things in my life 😞

There comes a time just before you release something when everything shakes. Not loudly, not enough for the world to take notice, but just enough for you. You sense it in your chest, like an unanswered question, like standing on the brink of something undefined. The leaf doesn’t fall due to failure or weakness; it falls because the season demands it. Yet, there is still resistance. The branch recalls the weight, the shade, the quiet companionship of what once held on. You are permitted to feel that too. Breaking doesn’t always have to be harsh; sometimes it’s a gentle surrender, a silent agreement between what was and what needs to be. Observe how the leaf glides, not hurrying, not battling the air. It turns, it sways, it trusts in something invisible. This isn’t the end; it’s a transition. Even in falling, there is a sense of direction. Even in loss, there is a form of becoming. The ground isn’t a failure; it’s a destination. What appears to be an ending is often just a new way of holding on. You are still present. Even if you feel unanchored, even if you can’t recognize the shape of your days anymore. You are still present. There will be roots that are yet unseen, and growth that may not resemble growth. There will be mornings when simply breathing feels like a triumph. Let that be sufficient. Like the leaf, you aren’t meant to hold on forever. And like the tree, you aren’t losing everything. You are evolving. And somewhere, in the quiet shifts of things, in the hidden work beneath the surface, something is getting ready to start anew. There comes a time just before you release something when everything shakes. Not loudly, not enough for the world to take notice, but just enough for you. You sense it in your chest, like an unanswered question, like standing on the brink of something undefined. The leaf doesn’t fall due to failure or weakness; it falls because the season demands it. Yet, there is still resistance. The branch recalls the weight, the shade, the quiet companionship of what once held on. You are permitted to feel that too. Breaking doesn’t always have to be harsh; sometimes it’s a gentle surrender, a silent agreement between what was and what needs to be. Observe how the leaf glides, not hurrying, not battling the air. It turns, it sways, it trusts in something invisible. This isn’t the end; it’s a transition. Even in falling, there is a sense of direction. Even in loss, there is a form of becoming. The ground isn’t a failure; it’s a destination. What appears to be an ending is often just a new way of holding on. You are still present. Even if you feel unanchored, even if you can’t recognize the shape of your days anymore. You are still present. There will be roots that are yet unseen, and growth that may not resemble growth. There will be mornings when simply breathing feels like a triumph. Let that be sufficient. Like the leaf, you aren’t meant to hold on forever. And like the tree, you aren’t losing everything. You are evolving. And somewhere, in the quiet shifts of things, in the hidden work beneath the surface, something is getting ready to start anew.

This is really weird but does anyone else have this irrational fear… that you might fall in love and trust the person enough to become intimate and end up losing your virginity but regret it, and as a consequence like a religious punishment God will give you an unwanted pregnancy but you’ll grow to accept the situation and grow attached just to have some incident where one thing leads to another and you end up miscarrying your child so now you’re grappling with this heartbreak of losing trust in a meaningful relationship, religious guilt over premarital sex, and grieving your unborn child and it’s something like that… worse case scenario… that drives you away from pursuing a romantic relationship because you jump to worse case scenario. Or even if the pregnancy was successful, then there’s this anxiety over being a good mother and partner and taking care of the household while trying to balance your own needs and your career and how you can’t do it all. Is this weird? Like strange spirals over settling down and having a partner and children? Because it’s a pretty frequent thought and unwanted because then I feel deeply saddened over it like what losing a child is life and how I would cope and how that would impact my relationship with any future partners. I am literally a single virgin - never been in a relationship of any sorts and extremely sheltered. This isn’t even relevant to me but it’s also why I’m like, a relationship is not for me even if I want it because I don’t trust myself. Also the factor of struggling with religion and navigating my career where I feel as though I can’t do it all. How to be a working mother and wife? It’s irrational but it’s something I do think on more often than I’d like.