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Hi everyone. I'm in the midst of a relapse right now, and I wanted to say that OCD really fights dirty. Keep your heads up, stay strong, and good luck to all of you.

Hello Warriors! I just wanted to stop by to say that I have been diagnosed with OCD for over 15 years, but I have struggled with it my entire life. ( I am 28 years old.) I only learned about ERP therapy this year... Yes y’all, THIS YEAR! I searched all over my area to find an ERP specialist that was either in network, or affordable. I could not find one. I happened to be on the IOCDF’s website and came across NOCD. I hit the book a free call button and never looked back! If you have any questions about being connected to care through NOCD, or my ERP Journey, feel free to ask in the comments below!

Really feeling down in the dumps today, lacking motivation.

I have been living in a prison i have built in my mind for a few years now. There are people I cannot see places I can't go and things I couldn't imagine doing now. I'm terrified of coming in contact with drugs and losing control of myself or putting me into a permanent schizophrenic episode. Its mainly activated Marijuana oils and LSD that trigger me into over analyzing, researching and inevitably cutting people, places and things from my life. I'm excited and terrified to start this process but it definitely time.

TRIGGER WARNING I have NOT been diagnosed with ocd BUT I am pretty sure that i have ocd and my mum called the doctors they said it sounds like ocd I'm 12 if this helps anything I struggle to even write things and i normally can't do work because i stress out i cross out the work over and over again i sometimes can't even put my hand on the paper or over the paper or something or whatever because then im "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" or whatever and it stresses me out sometimes i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work or barely any work most of the time the teachers dont notice but then they dont notice me crying over it either I think ive always or for ages that ive mainly thought about things before I say them or do them like just so i know what to say or do but now its like I plan it incase i do something that could trigger me or would trigger me (i dont know if its because of this or because of different reasons but im guessing this because i have no other explaination and i dont know if this is ocd but i think it is) and i have to do "fuck off lilly no your not no you dont shut up lilly no your not no you dont" or "shut up lilly fuck off lilly" or like "fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly" or "shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up lilly shut up fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly fuck off lilly" however many times it feels nesicary and what ever order feels nesicary I also struggle to get changed or unchanged alot because i start repeating it loads of times and if i dont i stress out. I think its because if i dont I'm "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and it stresses me out also when i walk like in or out of my bathroom i have to keep repeating it and walking in or out of my bedroom i have to keep repeating it or like up or down my stairs or in and out my sisters room and things like that and if i dont i stress out I also tell my mum mostly everything and i can tell she doesn't care its mainly my mum but i sometimes tell other people too and i can tell they dont care either and if anyone interrupts me i have to start again or whatever and if whoever im telling don't answer me i have to start again or whatever and i sometimes ask them if they listened or something or whatever and if they don't answer me i make them listen and then i say or do it again or something or whatever Sometimes I breathe weird or wrong then i keep doing it until it feels or sounds right or just nesicary and i sometimes do it with blinking too and i do many repetitive things because of it too because i didnt blink right or breathe right whilst i did it or i did breathe right or did blink right whilst i did it and it stresses me out I sometimes have thoughts and the other day or once or one time or something or whatever or whatever or something it told me that my house would set on fire or something or whatever I sometimes have thoughts about harming myself or suicide that i DO NOT want to do AT ALL and it stresses me out I think it has been really bad this week or something or whatever or whatever or something to the point where I got my friend to do my work for me (we were only supposed to copy the board) This is also it Ive had ocd for years they keep changing i used to do numbers even numbers then odd numbers then washing my hands now its harm ocd (and unplugging plugs but i didnt know that was a sign of ocd but when i do unplugg and plug in things i have to do it loads of times) i think about harming people and myself that i DO NOT want to do and i hate it it tortures me i have to think "f*** off (my name) no your not no you dont shut up (my name) no your not no you dont" i have to walk over or past things alot of times becsuse it "slits my wrists" or "slits my neck" and i dont want that to happen so i do the things and i even dont do school work because if i write things wrong i have to cross and cross things out and write them loads of times just to cross them out again and put loads of dots and underline things loads of times and sometimes i cant even put my hand on the paper because its "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and i dont want to put my self under that much stress so sometimes i just dont do it so i dont get stressed but sometimes i get stressed and carry on and then takes ages to stop and when i stop i dont want to start again incase it starts again and i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work most of the time the teachers dont notice that ive done none or not much but then they dont notice me crying over it anyway the worse part is mental health day or when they talk about mental health because all they talk about is depression i know depression is bad but why cant you talk about other things like ocd like eating disorders why cant you just talk about the problems im facing and what other people are facing instead of depression all the time ive told teachers about this my old head of year i told her more than ive told any other teacher more than ive told any one i think actually but theyre no help ive never been to a therapist or whatever you have for things like this i really want to go to one because i think i need one but i feel really awkward talking about things like normal things like underwear and puberty and mental health I feel like ill never be normal i feel like i cant have a normal life like bring up a kid and that breaks my heart all the time and that if i ever have a kid i cant bring it up properly or it'll look at me weird or that ill pass it onto them I hate what happens to me in my mind everyday it tortures me everyday I hate that i look at myself abit differently learning its a disability Now that i think of it and i really dont want to say this but a few times i have thought about people sexually any ages normally not even my own i DONT want to think like this I sometimes think about suicide but i dont know if thats an instrusive thought because i DO NOT want to commit suicide AT ALL I hate how my life has come to me not being able to tell my parents or anyone my problems i hate hate HATE IT i dont know what to do...

Please can I talk to someone :(

At this point, I’m okay if I am attracted to dudes. Just please for the love of god give me my attraction to women back. I love my girlfriend and don’t want to have to leave her.

Hi Friends! As we all get closer to the New Year, I would love to hear your goals for 2021 with regard to your OCD. My goal is to continue catching and labeling my OCD thoughts as to prevent acting upon them with compulsions.

I feel stripped of who I was before. I hate this. I'm afraid it's all true.

I feel like a lesbian. I feel bisexual. I feel like that’s what I want. It feels like I like the thoughts. I feel like I have to leave my boyfriend. I don’t want to lose him, but it feels like I need to leave him. I feel sick. I feel like I’m hiding it from myself and using ocd as a coverup. I don’t want to be one of those woman who find out they’re lesbians later than life. I’m afraid of being one of those woman who convince themselves they can be into men when they can’t. What if that’s me? What if I never enjoy sex with my boyfriend? I don’t enjoy it now, because every time I try to enjoy I get thoughts like, “you want him to be a woman. You’re not attracted to him. You’re not attracted to men. You need to leave him for a woman. You would enjoy sex with a woman.” I don’t want that to be true, but it feels like it secretly is. Am I denying my true sexuality? Is me thinking I have ocd just a coverup?? There’s a lot of proof for me being a lesbian that constantly haunts me. For example, I used to watch lesbian porn. But the thing that really bothers me is that I (TMI) masturbated to a picture of two cartoon characters as lesbians, videos of woman twerking, and music videos of woman. I don’t know why I did those things. It makes me feel like I would like having sex with a woman, because I liked seeing their bodies in porn and masturbated to it. I want to be with my boyfriend. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to lead him on. But I can’t be happy around him, because sometimes he will cause these thoughts and memories to arise. I keep seeing lesbians on tik tok and i feel like I want to be with them. I keep thing about my boyfriend and marrying him, then I get the thought, “you don’t want to be with him, you want a wife when you’re older.” I also don’t want to be homophobic. I’m afraid of that. I’m supportive of the lgbtq community, but it doesn’t feel natural for me. The thought of ME specifically being lesbian or bi doesn’t make sense to me. Or at least didn’t. Now I feel like I want it :(

I’ve never posted on anytning like this before and it honestly makes me feel very uncomfortable to post something. Idk if it’s just me but I’m worried I sometimes don’t have Ocd and I must just be gay and I also can’t identify my compulsion which makes me think I might not have ocd even though I’ve got diagnosed with ocd, I still sometimes think I must of just lied to my therapist in order to get a diagnosis for it. Even when I type this it almost feels like I may be lying to myself which is why I never write anything. My ocd is worst when I’m in public and start talking to an attractive man as my chest just starts to become unbearably uncomfortable at times.

If anyone here struggles with Scrupolosity, Moral OCD or Existential OCD : I can send you my story and testimony. To give you hope and encouragement in this daily suffering. Please drop an email below. I am also open to help and chat to anyone struggling right now!! 😊🎄

Someone please help. This is for SOOCD sufferers. I was getting intrusive thoughts about sucking off a man and my head made it feel like I would like it. There was like an urge to imagine it and at first it felt like my head was telling me I wanted that, and then it just felt weird and I was soft. It felt like I would actually want to do that though but I don’t want to be with a guy and it wasn’t actually arousing. Has anyone had this??

👋 From Sweden. I have so much to say, but I'm scared things will trigger/get worse when talking about them. I guess I just wanted to drop a little "hi". My ocd is getting worse during lock down and I don't know where to start really.

Can I get some web links for advice and tips?

I’m planning to talk to my therapist more about medication during our next session but I was wondering if anyone felt comfortable answering what medication has helped you with? Or talk about your experience with medication and if it has helped you deal with physical symptoms, rumination, etc. I have been in therapy a little over 2 months and have been able to manage my thoughts better I think but I still have very strong reactions to them and it’s almost like I feel like I’m dealing with something new everyday. I admit I can practice doing exposures more. I’m interested in hearing about people’s experiences. Thanks in advance!

Powerful Questions to Disrupt Negative Thinking Patterns 1. Am I 100% positive this is true? 2. Is there evidence that contradicts my thought? 3. Am I trying to interpret this situation without all the evidence? 4. Will this matter 5 minutes from now, 5 days from now, 5 years from now? 5. What would I tell a friend who was in this same situation? 6. How can I look at this situation differently? 7. How can I look at the situation in a positive way? 8. Is this thought helpful to me, how so? 9. Is there anything I can do about this? 10. Has this happened before? 11. If I am to think logically, what’s the worst that can happen? 12. Is this situation in my control? 13. Can my spiritual beliefs help me with this? 14. Will thinking this way help me become my best self? 15. What can I learn from this situation for next time? 16. Am I considering my strengths or only focusing on my weakness

I have been struggling with intrusive thought.... and hocd is one such struggle...... I was relating my intrusive thoughts to my sexuality.... ie; "I have these thoughts because I'm gay" Ie; harm, POCD and sexuality thoughts. Gay people dont have these intrusions... so is it (Hocd) I realise that Hocd suffers have fears of being "Gay" I dont (thoughts above) Anyone got helpful advise or insight? Cos I'm confused 😕😕😕😕

I broke my phone screen abit more and its really annoying me because of the wrist and neck thing and even when i put them or do them it stresses me out and does anyone else go hot when theyre like anxious or scared or you know? And then when theyre normal and fine they stop going hot? Ive had ocd for years they keep changing i used to do numbers even numbers then odd numbers then washing my hands now its harm ocd (and unplugging plugs but i didnt know that was a sign of ocd but when i do unplugg and plug in things i have to do it loads of times) i think about harming people and myself that i DO NOT want to do and i hate it it tortures me i have to think "f*** off (my name) no your not no you dont shut up (my name) no your not no you dont" i have to walk over or past things alot of times becsuse it "slits my wrists" or "slits my neck" and i dont want that to happen so i do the things and i even dont do school work because if i write things wrong i have to cross and cross things out and write them loads of times just to cross them out again and put loads of dots and underline things loads of times and sometimes i cant even put my hand on the paper because its "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and i dont want to put my self under that much stress so sometimes i just dont do it so i dont get stressed but sometimes i get stressed and carry on and then takes ages to stop and when i stop i dont want to start again incase it starts again and i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work most of the time the teachers dont notice that ive done none or not much but then they dont notice me crying over it anyway the worse part is mental health day or when they talk about mental health because all they talk about is depression i know depression is bad but why cant you talk about other things like ocd like eating disorders why cant you just talk about the problems im facing and what other people are facing instead of depression all the time ive told teachers about this my old head of year i told her more than ive told any other teacher more than ive told any one i think actually but theyre no help ive never been to a therapist or whatever you have for things like this i really want to go to one because i think i need one but i feel really awkward talking about things like normal things like underwear and puberty and mental health I feel like ill never be normal i feel like i cant have a normal life like bring up a kid and that breaks my heart all the time and that if i ever have a kid i cant bring it up properly or it'll look at me weird or that ill pass it onto them I hate what happens to me in my mind everyday it tortures me everyday I hate that i look at myself abit differently learning its a disability Now that i think of it and i really dont want to say this but a few times i have thought about people sexually any ages normally not even my own i DONT want to think like this I sometimes think about suicide but i dont know if thats an instrusive thought because i DO NOT want to commit suicide AT ALL I hate how my life has come to me not being able to tell my parents or anyone my problems i hate hate HATE IT i dont know what to do...

How often do you guys do exposures? (ps if it’s not as often as you’d like, don’t feel bad! Exposures aren’t easy to do and any time you do one you should celebrate.😊)