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Last year my dad tested positive for Covid but I went to the movies with my brother a day or two after! I wasn’t gonna go but my brother wouldn’t stop asking so I caved in and went. I wore a mask and thought I wouldn’t get anyone sick. Even worse, I went to the supermarket afterwards! Only because it was a quick trip and I passed people quickly. I can’t remember if I wore a mask but I’m sure I did because I wore one at the movies. But don’t I belong in jail for being so careless? Or at the very least, shouldn’t I feel guilty everyday for the rest of my life? I’m a monster. I can’t live with myself.

Hello everyone. My name is Julia and I have very bad OCD it’s debilitating. I’m hoping this app will help me. My worse part of my OCD as of now is my fear of bugs and my fear of getting myself or my kids sick. I wash my hand about 50 times a day sometimes more and take three showers a day on most days. I am on medication and it doesn’t seem to be helping much. My arms have cuts all over them from washing my hands so much. I pray I can connect with others with OCD of any kid and maybe get coping skills. Nice to meet y’all 💗

I have such a hard time to describe the feeling of what I call a “dirty space” I don’t always mean physically dirty. Like no there isn’t uni all over the floor all the time, no, there isn’t dust all over. It just feels dirty. In my body and head when I’m there. Like if I touch something there the “bad” feeling is now in me. Or on. I can’t explain it. Especially to people who have no clue about ocd, or anything. I had a meltdown last night because I had to go to a house for a couple of hours, and that place was a dirty space. The thing is, it isn’t dirty. It’s a well kept house. But something about the space just feels wrong? I got home and felt super off, like I physically couldn’t move because I felt the bad on me. I literally stripped out of all my clothes after pacing around crying and trying to shake it all off of me. Then changed. And I just sat there shaking off, rubbing it off, crying, and counting. The only place I felt clean was infront of my piano. So I played for a bit. Till I calmed down. Does anyone else know what i mean by “dirty space” and “bad”??

I made a very reckless decision. Last year I went to the movies when my dad tested positive for Covid and I did not even test before I went. Not maliciously at all, I just didn’t even think to since I didn’t feel sick. But I got sick a few days after. I wasn’t gonna go to the movies but my brother wouldn’t stop asking me and I caved in and went, since I wasn’t going to be face to face with anyone and I felt it was low risk. No one sat next to us. I wore a mask of course. But obviously there were still risks. People could have gotten it from touching the door handle that I touched and then touching their face when eating popcorn. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this. I cannot even live with myself. Usually I’m careful when it comes to Covid but not this time. Yes people make mistakes but nobody has made a Covid mistake as bad as this one! I don’t deserve to live.

I am on a cruise ship and my contamination ocd is so bad. I keep seeing people coughing into their hands and touching everything. What are some tips for cruising with contamination ocd?

I just have had a very bad day. Over the past couple days many situations have happened which have led me to believing that my friends might be upset at me. I feel like everyone is ignoring me, and it scares me. I am scared they're upset and idk what to do. I don't know if I should confront them about it or just say nothing if I am overreacting. I have this one friend I know I could confide in but all she would really be able to say is that I have to ask them myself. A long with that nothing has really gone my way today. My friend who I was supposed to hang out with last minute canceled cause her brother from Atlanta surprised her. Now I am all alone outside a public park. And I can't help but think what am I doing? What am I waiting for? I know that sometimes the only solution to fear is confronting it. If I want answers about whether my friends are angry with me I have to ask. I can't just wait. But what does this mean for my other compulsions. What about apologizing to my oarenrs because I might have accidentally had a laced edible? Am I going to live with that forever or is the only way to live through fear to face it head on it? Is that the only way forward? I know fear will never go away, but am I just stuck in a cycle of having to face it over and over again? Or are there things I shouldn't face? Should I not give into things my therapist would label a compulsion like apologizing to my parents for the what if possibility that I did take a laced edible? Is there a balance? Is one wrong and is one right? How do I decipher which fears I have to face head on and which fears I have to keep inside me? Do I live a life where I am congested with fears on a daily basis or one where I am possibly loosely giving into every fearful thought and throw myself into scary situations? I dont know, it seems like I am overthinking. But this question puzzled me.

I never had much of a problem with germs and stuff when I was younger but after co-opting in a elementary school and working at a nursing home I’m overly sensitive to germs now and for 1. Am wondering if OCD can effects this or is this is even OCD 2. Is a story how I was out with friends and we went to the lake and I got water it my mouth but when I was a kid I would go so far as to open my eyes in the water without a care but this occasion and lately it’s been gotten worse to the point I want to cut open my skin to pour bleach and soap and antibacterial spray inside me or drink it to get the germs and bacteria and parasites or human piss and vomit it decomposed body cuz who knows what happens in a lake. I thankfully didn’t and talked with one of my friends there who has OCD and she said all this was OCD but I truly wonder if it is since I wasn’t like this before????

Hi 10 years ago when I was 12-13 years old I used to own a pet rat. And I really liked her a lot. I never thought about it until now. When I had a “do u remember thougt” that I used to let this pet rat go in to my mouth bc she wanted to. And I can’t get it out of my brain how discussing that was. But back then I didn’t think it’s was discusting. I realiteten regret it. And now I think that imagine all the boys u kissed how discussed they would be of u if they knew that they kissed someone that had a rat in there mouth. Can someone help me I feel like I deserve to die how discusting I am for doing that. If I could go back and undo it I would in a second. Now I feel like I can never have a partner bc I’m disgusting 💔 is this ocd am I discusting?

So many thoughts are coming into my head right now I don’t know how to think. I don’t even know how I am going to put this into words on here I just don’t know what to do . I am so scared of throwing up it’s so hard to explain . Everybody tells me “well no likes getting sick” but they don’t get it. It’s not just that, I am scared about getting any major illness and my mind keeps making me think that everything will give me food poisoning or a stomach bug if I am not careful or if I don’t check my temperature ten times in a row . I have to wash every produce throughly if I don’t I will do it again. And it sucks . Every time my stomach hurts I think that I will get sick. I barely eat and sleep because I am so scared . I am scared to sleep because I genuinely think that “anything can happen while I am asleep” so even if I take sleep medication my mind makes me stay awake out of fear. I just want to feel normal . I can never eat out without doing research of the place I am eating at and even after that it doesn’t help. I always feel worried that I will get sick on an important date just because that day is important like Halloween or an upcoming concert or hanging out with friends , so now I just mainly stay at home … but it hurts me because i want to live ( it's ironic because Liv is my name) so badly . my dream is to someday go on a Europe trip but i can hardly leave my state without thinking that something bad will happen to me . its getting unbearable at times . I wonder what it would feel like to not be completely burdened by anxiety and horribly disgusting thoughts every second of my life. And if you're wondering why I haven't had any medication prescribed to me is because I am also scared about taking any medication . I just feel helpless and it's my own fault . And I know I am holding myself back at times but I just don't know how to stop being scared and how to stop worrying about every aspect of my life . It's going to drive me insane .

Just sharing this a bit as I got to terms with the end of my high school career. I feel like I've spent a big time after starting medication on rumination and just feeling overall terrible. I didn't recieve any treatment until it got unbearable for myself, my family, my friends, and my school work. I was constantly having breakdowns and trying to get someone around me to understand. I can recall instances of these breakdowns where I would just get called crazy and irrational, which does not help at all. I was always terrified of getting close to people. I start having bad intrusive thoughts but I know that I would never want to hurt anyone. I can't stop thinking if people would've just taken me seriously in the beginning I could've done so much better. I had many failing grades as a lot of days my mind gets so occupied by every little thing ever I can't even just focus on working. This made my post-grad plans complicated. I want to apologize to the pain I've caused to my family and anyone involved in my life. I'm scared if they touched me I'll contaminate them with something. I was also constantly in ans out of hospital from stress relatwd illnesses as well as "illnesses" my brain convinced me I had. I feel like an instrument of destruction. When I was really young I was fully convinced I was the anti-christ and the only way to change that is if I ended my life. I went off on a tangent, but overall I'm glad at last I could get some chemical relief. While it still effects me everyday, I try to push myself out of my boundaries while making sure I have people around me to reassure me even if the reassurance is "if you do get a heart attack we'll call an ambulance". The best advice that has worked for me as a hypochondriac ia when i feel like mind spiraling to crazy ends like illnesses and possible deaths, I think abt even if you were getting close to it, theres always a way to srop it through diagnoses and help from professionals. It calms me a little to know that even if my obsessions are "right"(they never are), There is always a solution to it. Hope as time goes on I can come to terms with the way my brain is wired, and function like the ones around me do. I had a therapist told me I was incredible for staying in school despite all that I've told her. I felt a relief at that moment since for the longest time I thought I wasn't doing Thanks for making it to the very end sorry for the incredible long vent!

I’m stressing really bad. A couple hours ago I dropped my phone in the toilet AFTER I peed. I immediately grabbed it and got straight to washing it. I did probably the worst thing but at that point I didn’t care I just wanted a clean phone. I’m a very clean person and it makes me uneasy when my bed is unclean, my hands, my room, my face, anything really. So this completely sent me in a spiral. I dunked it under the faucet probably 4 or 5 times, scrubbed it with soap, removed the sticker on the back, washed it with a rag, and even sprayed cleaner on it. The outside is clean but I worry about the inside because I didn’t get to scrub that part, obviously. I really don’t want to get some sort of pee on my hands or anything. All or most of the liquid is out of my phone I know for a fact because I used the water eject and saw some stuff come out, unfortunately it was urine color. But then I wiped it off with a towel (really hard) and was just uncomfortable. I started googling as we do, and nothing I found could help. The only things I found was how to take care of the phone but I don’t CARE about that part, I just want to make sure that it’s clean, that I’M clean. My charger is kinda buggy too. I got the notification about water in my phone and freaked out thinking it’s my pee. I pressed ignore on it and continued to charge my phone because it was at 1%, what else is there to do?! And I blew into the speaker a couple times to try and help but ugh I just can’t shake this feeling of disgust and discomfort. I don’t really want to let my phone touch my bed even though i’ve wiped it multiple times now and the water warnings went away. I’d assume my phone is damaged, I know that, so please don’t tell me again. I just need someone to tell me that it’s clean and that I’m okay.

Anyone feel there clothes are contaminated due to things from the past? Like “I hung out with this person in this shirt….that person is someone I don’t want in my life….i need to get rid of the clothing because it’s contaminated with the individual”….????

1) Please. Does anyone have advice on how to best Real Event OCD? I made some grand mistakes in the past, and the feeling of shame and guilt are starting to debiltate me. I constantly get an image, or a word, or a memory of something I do not want to think of in regard to the mistake. All I want to do is enjoy my present time and leave the past in the past but my brain won’t let me… 2) Is this a compulsion? And how do I overcome the following: My brain tells me I need to go over every single detail of something that occurred in the past, with my partner or else I cannot move past this “something from the past”. My thoughts circle around “If you don’t go over everything then you don’t deserve to be in the present”….. Help :( 3) My brain categorizes certain clothing items as contamination with a memory and I feel gross wearing the clothes. What do I do?

In the past I been known to cause people distress with their ocd when I simply try to help by explaining mine so if I trigger u I sincerely apologize I just wanna see to it tht I really am not alone on this journey of mine and can relate to someone with the same symptoms I am and hope that we can resolve ours together so it’s been over a year tht I been existing if I could sleep my life away honestly I would I hate washing my hands Everytime I touch something i really noticed something was off in march-April of 2022 when I was at work and I couldn’t for the life of my get my job done my nose was so itchy it literally triggered my ocd and from tht point on it has gotten worse showers were my escape from stress now they are part of it when it started I would shampoo my hair 8-10 times and it was like tht for a while then it slowly went down to 6-4 times every other day since I wash my hair every other day I would shower once every other day and when I shower I wash my hair so yea and then I’d condition it atleast twice from the time I went from 8-10 to 6-4 it was atleast a 6 month process or what felt like it then I was relieved when it went to 3 nd tht lasted a while to I never understood what my purpose was for washing it tht much but if I questioned it it made it worse and when I got out of the shower I’d pick my dirties up with my feet and grabbed them now I kick them into my room nd leave them on the ground like rn I told my mom tht id put the ones on the floor into my basket when my basket is empty bc it hurts my legs if I have a tower of dirties nd I pick them up from the floor into the basket with my feet I do my best to prevent myself from using my hands at all costs I wish my family knew my struggles they keep trying to get me back to work I left due to my ocd issues starting at work nd I didn’t want it interfering with my job any longer I been unemployed since looking for stay at home jobs and im nervous to go back with my ocd being as bad as it is now part of me thinks it’s a long term covid thing but since I never had covid atleast to my knowledge it probably isn’t it but it just makes no sense to me tht it randomly happened to me I even turn on nd off light switches with my elbows

My daughter is almost 9 and she was diagnosed OCD almost 2 years ago. I am looking for support on how to support her. She has reassurance compulsions, always needs to know everything is okay. This can be from touching something or smelling something or walking by something. She asks me like 400 times a day.. she also needs the house in perfect order all the time. She is the 2nd oldest of 4 and can’t handle anyone playing with anything or things being out of place. She won’t ever relax and is constantly cleaning and reorganizing the house. She also is very fearful of being sick and is scared that everything will make her sick. She also has a really hard time making friends because it’s hard for her to hide what is bothering her. I thought she might have hfasd, and her psychiatrist agreed that she might but I figure if I can start helping her OCD then maybe I can help her as a whole. She just has a lot of anxiety attacks and I am burnt out on what to do. I feel helpless in how to help her. There are 3 other kids I am responsible for and she consumes almost every moment of my day, except for when she is at school.

does anyone hate using the bathroom.. like everything about it makes me feel so dirty even when i clean myself off w baby wipes and wash my hands good. i convince myself i touched something dirty or my hair touched something dirty like it’s so exhausting and i can’t shower everytime i use the bathroom

Does anybody else feel like therapy just doesn't help them? I first went to therapy when I was 8 and that was when I was diagnosed with high levels of anxiety and ocd. I went for a few months but then I didn't want to go anymore and didn't feel like I needed to so I stopped but then everything got worse when I was 11-12 I became anorexic because I was so scared of eating/getting sick . I went for a couple months then my therapist got fired for talking about other patients to other patients and vaping. So I got a new one but after about a year she said a "didn't need it anymore" which might have been true but it still made me confused. Since then I haven't had in person therapy until about a year ago so I went online for it on the better help site for a couple months . But I found that just telling the therapist about my life and ocd just wasn't helping because she was a little old and everytime we had a new meeting the next week she would forget everything I had told her and I would have to say it all over again which frustrated me. I want to get better but therapy just hasn't seemed to work for me . It just seems like the therapist is judging me and i feel like I can't even tell them my true thoughts and problems cause I would be judged or sent away (to like a mental hospital or something). Everytime i have been therapy I was very self conscious about what I would say and some of it wouldn't even be true , because I felt like I couldn't trust them for some reason. And I was wondering if anyone else had this same problem.

I have been feeling off lately ever since I got a new temporary jib through the agency. I was cleaning and had a housekeeping job, I took the job because I was desperate. Anyways, An ugly lady I don't like bumped into me with my arms / - shoulders and my mind can't get rid of this intrusive thoughts I'm so annoyed with myself. The only thing that will help me is get a massage. I've been depressed since I my thoughts are reminding me of this and I unfortunately do not have a lot of money to get a massage right now. Since I can't solve my problem at the moment I have felt/fallen into a deep depression and I have no more energy because of it and my thoughts. As well as financial anxiety. Uggg! FUCK! I hate having ocd. It's driving me nuts! Also, that since my thoughts are also thinking that the germs are getting everywhere. My mind is going nuts and my ocd has been acting up a lot. I'm also tired of life. I also have been having a bit of a negative mindset thanks to my fogged up mind and depression thanks to all of this. I really hate people with moles. Sorry it just grosses me out and fucks up my mindset when somebody I don't like bumps into me. Help! I need advice!

TW — contamination ocd thoughts Hello guys, unfortunately I am beginning to notice my contamination OCD has worsened. I’m not sure if anyone has thoughts on how to move forward while I find therapy (like how I can prevent it from worsening on my own while I wait for treatment), but basically it started out as me washing my hands and counting to 20 but always restarting if it didn’t feel right. My brain seems to not trust if I’ve done something and would rather restart. Eventually these compulsions kept growing. I especially am now realizing how dirty the bathroom is / how dirty my clothes get from being outside in public. I keep a mental note of all the ways anything on me could’ve been contaminated and spend a long time washing my hands or changing clothes. I used to not think about this, but now it’s making me super uncomfortable. I don’t know how to not give into the compulsions because I feel like things will be dirty — should I just sit in the discomfort of allowing things to be contaminated? Thank you for any help!

I had a great childhood but one bad thing happened and I feel like things just haven't been the same anymore. My teen years sucked and the start of my adult years aren't the greatest. I have good moments still, and there are very high moments but I'm mostly just not happy. I'm just not feeling the days anymore and OCD makes it so much worse. I just hope I can work out the past hurt, guilt, and shame. I try to shake it off but I just can't. I just remember it all over and over again and it's hard to let go of it. I really hope I can somehow get back to where I used to be. I'm mostly worried about how my addiction abuse affected my physical health. I'm always afraid that I'm going to catch a bad disease or that I won't make it the next day. I hate it. I just want to stop worrying and just live my life. I have a lot of good things in my life but I just can't let this stuff go.