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Last year my dad tested positive for Covid but I went to the movies with my brother a day or two after! I wasn’t gonna go but my brother wouldn’t stop asking so I caved in and went. I wore a mask and thought I wouldn’t get anyone sick. Even worse, I went to the supermarket afterwards! Only because it was a quick trip and I passed people quickly. I can’t remember if I wore a mask but I’m sure I did because I wore one at the movies. But don’t I belong in jail for being so careless? Or at the very least, shouldn’t I feel guilty everyday for the rest of my life? I’m a monster. I can’t live with myself.

I have such a hard time to describe the feeling of what I call a “dirty space” I don’t always mean physically dirty. Like no there isn’t uni all over the floor all the time, no, there isn’t dust all over. It just feels dirty. In my body and head when I’m there. Like if I touch something there the “bad” feeling is now in me. Or on. I can’t explain it. Especially to people who have no clue about ocd, or anything. I had a meltdown last night because I had to go to a house for a couple of hours, and that place was a dirty space. The thing is, it isn’t dirty. It’s a well kept house. But something about the space just feels wrong? I got home and felt super off, like I physically couldn’t move because I felt the bad on me. I literally stripped out of all my clothes after pacing around crying and trying to shake it all off of me. Then changed. And I just sat there shaking off, rubbing it off, crying, and counting. The only place I felt clean was infront of my piano. So I played for a bit. Till I calmed down. Does anyone else know what i mean by “dirty space” and “bad”??

I am on a cruise ship and my contamination ocd is so bad. I keep seeing people coughing into their hands and touching everything. What are some tips for cruising with contamination ocd?

I’m stressing really bad. A couple hours ago I dropped my phone in the toilet AFTER I peed. I immediately grabbed it and got straight to washing it. I did probably the worst thing but at that point I didn’t care I just wanted a clean phone. I’m a very clean person and it makes me uneasy when my bed is unclean, my hands, my room, my face, anything really. So this completely sent me in a spiral. I dunked it under the faucet probably 4 or 5 times, scrubbed it with soap, removed the sticker on the back, washed it with a rag, and even sprayed cleaner on it. The outside is clean but I worry about the inside because I didn’t get to scrub that part, obviously. I really don’t want to get some sort of pee on my hands or anything. All or most of the liquid is out of my phone I know for a fact because I used the water eject and saw some stuff come out, unfortunately it was urine color. But then I wiped it off with a towel (really hard) and was just uncomfortable. I started googling as we do, and nothing I found could help. The only things I found was how to take care of the phone but I don’t CARE about that part, I just want to make sure that it’s clean, that I’M clean. My charger is kinda buggy too. I got the notification about water in my phone and freaked out thinking it’s my pee. I pressed ignore on it and continued to charge my phone because it was at 1%, what else is there to do?! And I blew into the speaker a couple times to try and help but ugh I just can’t shake this feeling of disgust and discomfort. I don’t really want to let my phone touch my bed even though i’ve wiped it multiple times now and the water warnings went away. I’d assume my phone is damaged, I know that, so please don’t tell me again. I just need someone to tell me that it’s clean and that I’m okay.

My daughter is almost 9 and she was diagnosed OCD almost 2 years ago. I am looking for support on how to support her. She has reassurance compulsions, always needs to know everything is okay. This can be from touching something or smelling something or walking by something. She asks me like 400 times a day.. she also needs the house in perfect order all the time. She is the 2nd oldest of 4 and can’t handle anyone playing with anything or things being out of place. She won’t ever relax and is constantly cleaning and reorganizing the house. She also is very fearful of being sick and is scared that everything will make her sick. She also has a really hard time making friends because it’s hard for her to hide what is bothering her. I thought she might have hfasd, and her psychiatrist agreed that she might but I figure if I can start helping her OCD then maybe I can help her as a whole. She just has a lot of anxiety attacks and I am burnt out on what to do. I feel helpless in how to help her. There are 3 other kids I am responsible for and she consumes almost every moment of my day, except for when she is at school.

does anyone hate using the bathroom.. like everything about it makes me feel so dirty even when i clean myself off w baby wipes and wash my hands good. i convince myself i touched something dirty or my hair touched something dirty like it’s so exhausting and i can’t shower everytime i use the bathroom

Hello, nice to be here and meet you all. I have had contamination ocd since I was a young girl. I am 45. It has gotten so much worse since I had children and lost my dear mother. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it and I am desperately searching for help and for community. Thank you for any support. I want to enjoy life again without all this worry, guilt, doubt, and shame. I would like to be free.

I don’t even know what type of OCD this would fall under but here it goes lol. ever since i was a little kid If someone bad happened to me while i was listening to a song, I wouldn’t listen to it anymore, or if i heard it i would take it as a “bad omen” so i would try to avoid it at almost all costs. if something good happened to me, I would take it as a “good song” and need to listen to it on repeat so something good would happen even though it would drive me crazy hearing it after replaying it so many times. I have little memories in my head for almost all my music like for example “the day i listened to this song a kid near me coughed so it means that if i listen to it then i could happen again and i could get sick.” can anyone relate? any tips to help stop?

Hello, I just started therapy not too long ago for my contamination OCD and happy to finally be here. Almost right away I started feeling a little better, but recently found a mouse in my house. Mice are at the very top of my trigger list & im just sad because I feel that the progress I had been making is all gonna go down the drain. I feel trapped in my room rn because of certain tiles in my house that the mouse ran on top of. My family members without OCD are constantly stepping on those tiles & spreading the germs all around the house with their shoes. They also have no problem picking things they just stepped on off the floor without washing their hands afterward & going on to touch other things in the house. I know I can’t control other people, but it’s all just making me so anxious & I’ve locked myself in my room rn. But even then I don’t feel completely calm in here because I kicked my door open with the tip of my shoe and thought to myself “what if the mouse also touched that part of your door? Now the tip of your shoe is also contaminated”. I don’t know what to do and feel so exhausted all the time thinking like this. If anyone has any advice that would be great & sorry if this post is long/doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 9 or 10 but only got diagnosed at 19, and started actual treatment a few weeks ago. I’m 21 now. I have severe emetophobia that fuels my health ocd and my intrusive thoughts have been so bad lately that I can hardly eat or leave my house. I don’t go anywhere except my bedroom and work. I even get anxious thinking about going to my living room. I started ERP with a new therapist, and I want to get better, but the therapy is so scary and overwhelming. I’ve lived this way for so long that confronting my fears feels impossible and I’m so scared to do it. I do everything I can to avoid anxiety attacks. I feel so unsafe in my own body because of the way I can’t stop fixating on certain actions and sensations. Does anyone who’s gone through something similar have any advice, or encouragement? I’m doing my best, but I don’t know anyone else with my ocd themes. Thanks y’all <3

If life couldn't help giving me ocd at birth, I wish that it didn't give me pocd out of all the other themes. I know it's not fair to say this, but I wasn't this much depressed when I had contamination ocd and pure ocd.

No matter what I do my emetaphobia is not getting better I think it’s gotten worse I’ve been struggling with it since I was 11 I’m 19 now:( I’m scared of being away from home and getting sick and it also ties into fomo fear of missing out I don’t know why I feel like if I get sick I will also miss out and be absolutely miserable. I’m just so scared of feeling nauseous I need help .

I’m so tired of apologizing for my disorder/disability. My sister is having a picnic and I don’t want to go because it is a trigger for me. I have been in a bad place since we lost our mom 4 months ago. I’m having major contamination triggers. I work full time, love alone and maintain my own house (which is a struggle) and take care of our dad on weekends. Yet everyone is mad because I’m not going to the picnic. I just can’t win! I know I should not be listening to the OCD, but it’s been a rough few months and I just can’t take on anything else right now. I feel like such a failure in whatever I do!

has anyone else ever been so weighed down and exhausted by your own thoughts that you just break down and feel like everything is falling apart? i worry a lot about being poisoned or having an illness and today has been especially hard, not sure what to do anymore because i feel as if i have tried everything to stop the thoughts or distract them and nothing works anymore, really wanting some help 🫶🏼

I was so good for such a long time. I felt like I truly had a handle on things and everything was going well. Moved to a new city recently and now OCD moved with me and is taking up even more space. Being alone is hard enough! It makes me so angry that on top of the stress of readjusting to a new place, I’m having to fight off these thoughts and feelings like a wildfire. Leave me alone! I hate it. I was so happy. The world I lived in was great. Now everywhere I go I’m convinced that everyone despises me or I’m covered in diseases or whatever the hell it is at that given moment. It’s got me in this box because I feel like I can’t say anything to anyone without asking for reassurance. Now I am just filled with a burning frustration nonstop. Anger isn’t an emotion I usually experience as a result of ocd but I’ve had it. It’s so so so annoying damnit

I work with kids so as to be expected my contamination ocd (surrounding getting sick, especially throwing up) gets triggered a lot. Which is hard, but usually worth it for me as I’m really passionate about my work. But sometimes it feels like I don’t know how I will be able to manage my contamination ocd while working with kids the rest of my life (teaching). It makes me really sad when I think about how my other coworkers don’t have these same worries of getting sick and can then focus more on their meaning fully work. Like today, a kid told me she threw up last night after her water bottle had previously sprayed water on my face and I couldn’t focus fully on the class for the rest of my shift 😭 which isn’t fair to the kids either but I did my best, considering I’m still reeling from that and struggling to refrain from rumination and other compulsions. Just trying to tell myself that I’ll survive regardless of if I get sick or not, even though my ocd brain equates throwing up to death haha. Anyways I’m not looking for reassurance, but more so just wanted to vent and see if anyone can relate at all.

This is a very specific and unique situation that I don’t think many (if any) will be able to relate….and I am not sharing this to get validation. Its more of a lack of connection and lack of understanding situation. I feel really alone. I have had OCD since I was a child. I truthfully think it happened because of some not okay sexual things happening at home. To add fuel to the fire God decided to give me type 1 diabetes as a child…which only intensified the OCD. Especially because the mother he assigned to me is extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. I am 33 years old living at home- I would have never dreamed my life would have ended up as terrible as it did and I have no words to express that. It isn’t for lack of trying, ive been working since I was 14 years old. But With the economy and the cost of my disease (that is out of control) and disability only offering me $800 a month, i am stuck at home. Pity party starting now: Imagine for a moment your OCD is cleanliness. And you have a disease that not only causes you severe pain; but causes other issues such as but not limited to, issues with going to the bathroom. ie: if my sugar is 400 like it is currently the piss Will spray out of me like a broken faucet and get on my inner thigh like it has just done. Not only this but anyone who has experienced blood sugar this high would know it causes scary cognitive function issues and dark thoughts, spiraling thoughts. So I can’t just work through the thought of being dirty..ive tried..i spiral. Then my sugar gets worse, i faint and have to call the ambulance. Imagine having a mother who after 20 years of you being sick can’t understand it. And doesn’t care how sick you are or how you feel in regards to your diabetes. And who laughs and makes fun of you in regards to your OCD. And now imagine you live in America where everything is so expensive that you can’t leave.

Alright everyone. I need some tips. We are getting our bathroom remodeled and it is freaking me out, I’ve been in a state of depression and just dreading it since my germs will be carried throughout the house when all the old stuff (including the toilet) gets hauled away. I’ve been doing exposures and working on getting new meds, but I need some tips for getting through this. Thank you!

I can't move past some trashbags. Somebody put it near the door. I try not to be near to the door while going so as not to touch it. But what if others touched it and then i get in touch with these people, then i will get contaminated. Ugh this so messed up. I fèel like even going near the trash will contaminate me and what if i have touched it. Why don't people just throw the trash right away. Why they put it there for hours. This is triggering my anxiety so high that i am freaked out. I am trying not to do the compulsions if i haven't touched it but the "what if" thoughts are killing me. What if i have touched it😭😭

So I’ve had ocd since childhood. I go through different stages. Right now contamination ocd is really kicking me hard. I’m so afraid of germs. I wash my feet so much, my hands, I take multiple showers a day. Just some examples if my hair comes an inch close to touching a plunger, (it didn’t actually touch it but almost did) then I wanna wash my hair, even tho it didn’t even touch. If my hand touches the sink while I’m washing them, I have to rewash them. And so much more, it’s absolutely exhausting. Does anyone have any tips on how to stop being so afraid?