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the NOCD Community

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..

Recently I’ve been struggling with obsessing about becoming depressed and not being able to control myself. It started when I was trying to be empathetic for my friends who are going through depression and suicidal thoughts. After hearing about all of that I started to obsess about those feelings. I bought books about how to not be depressed and listen to music that is anti depression. I’m so scared of becoming depressed and having any negative self harming thoughts. I was so scared of rope that was brought home, that I told my parental figure to remove the rope from the house out of the fear of harming myself. Hi my name is Anais, I am 15 years old and I go to a prep school. Currently I am on summer break.All of these feelings have all suddenly spiked during the summer. At school I had none of this. I am reaching out because I don’t know how to cope with these stressful feelings. I am scared of being depressed and self harming. Every day these what if thoughts about self harm are on my mind. Like example “what if I’m depressed” “ what if I’m like suicidal” and I become super afraid of myself. Do you have ways to cope. I think because of these obsessions I am slowly gonna actually be depressed and that scares me more. Like my mind is trying to put me in the shoes of someone else even though I know I’m not depressed. This literally spiked over summer. I have had obsessions before like constantly being scared that my throat was closing so I avoided foods that I didn’t regularly eat. I don’t know how I got over it. I constantly read books about depression, listen to podcast, and make sure I can do whatever I can to not be depressed. I also talk about my feelings to loved ones and friends all the time. I’m scared of being depressed. Does anyone have advice to overcome fear of harming themselves or advice for overcoming feelings that aren’t mine. My mind is trying to trick me into feeling sad so it can prevent me from feeling depressed ever.

I've made new friends and I feel really proud of myself for doing so. For having the courage to speak up when I feel the time calls for it. Sometimes, my confidence fades when my thoughts goes to the past about certain events, but then I just try to bounce back. What's been bugging me the most is this sinus infection I've had for a while in the summer. That and post nasal drip sucks.

Ive had severe OCD for like 3 years now but today I had a moment where I was convincing myself of my thoughts really strongly and I started ro believe it- but it was really bad this time. Like I felt so anxious that I got nauseous and I felt like I was about to vomit😭😭😭 that has never happened to me… does anyone have a similar experience?

Hi I’m getting my period in a few days and I always notice my OCD spikes but I’ve just been feeling very very down, thoughts feel very sticky and real. Not much is making it better and I just feel super out of it. I also had a few dreams the past few weeks that relate to one of my ocd themes which is psychosis and I keep thinking I’m going to develop it. And I’ve also just been so on edge and scared even of like myself and people and reeling down and sad. Any advice? I don’t even like talking abt it rlly bc it creeps me out I feel like nothing is helping.

Anyone have a fear of high blood pressure and having a stroke/heart attack? My BP usually is great. But over the past week or so it’s been up. My “high” readings have been 141/91 and 132/94. I am currently taking clonidine. Once in the morning and once at night. Anybody else have these readings?

Anyone else feel air hunger? Like no matter how hard you try to get a “satisfying” deep breath, it just doesn’t work. It’s been happening to me for about a week now. It’s really freaking me out. I’ve had my heart checked, chest X-rays, blood work.. all the things. I am overweight which probably contributes. But could it just be from anxiety? Sometimes I don’t even feel anxious but it still happens.

I feel like for a while I haven’t really felt truly happy or very excited for anything. Every day feels like an uphill climb dealing with this OCD problem of mine and trying as hard as I can to solve it, seek advice, etc… It often feels hopeless for me and that I should just be discarded, like I’m too far gone and I can’t get rid of it. Anyway, the pint is I haven’t really felt happy enough to actually just be smiling in a long time. I can’t rember the last time I actually smiled because I didn’t think about it and just naturally smiled because I was happy. Feels like I’m at war with my head everyday. I feel numb. I feel like I can’t feel emotions strongly like I used to. I can’t feel strongly about something where I’m motivated to ACT on something, to DO something, to try something new or break a routine or even feel like I am taking a risk or having fun. It’s like I have forgotten what FUN is like. Actual fun, not trying to have fun, but having fun. As a side note, maybe it’s too far fetched or not true but the medication I am on for my OCD (Sertraline, 25 mg dosage) , I am suspicious is making me numb like this. Sometimes I feel one if maybe this, small yet somewhat effective dosage of this medication is making me like this. I remember when I went off of it for a brief period last summer I could feel a lot more than I am feeling right now. But unfortunately my OCD was sooo bad as a result. So bad I couldn’t face it and I would be pretty much having a straight panic attack all day. So I’m not sure if coming off of that is the right move. After all I went back on it because wow I was having trouble dealing with myself. But like I said, that is just an afterthought. This is often how I trudge through the day…

Hey guys, So I'm not entirely sure if it's my ocd or if I'm just a stickler for rules. A doctor once told me that drinking and meds is a no go. Now I avoid alcohol, being on 3 different meds out of fear that an interaction will occur. My problem is this. If it is infact OCD than my ocd brain is blowing its importance out of proportion and I am displaying avoidance behaviour out of fear. Everyone I know says "live a little,it's fine, people drink on crazy meds all the time" this reassurance does not help and often makes me feel badly that I can't get past the fear that it will somehow mess with my chemistry due to them both being drugs essentially. And so the way to face it would be to have a drink or two and face the fear. BUT.. But if it is actually unsafe than am I doing right by avoiding? I'm not sure how to handle this situation theraputically in terms of moving forward. Any guidance is appreciated.

Does anyone struggle with their breathing, I have been obsessing over it for a couple days now and every time I breathe I feel like I am not taking in enough air and when I try to take deep breaths it makes me panic even more because I feel like I can’t take one. It’s scaring me because it makes me obsess about my health and my heart , like maybe I’m breathing this way because of a heart condition that’s undiagnosed. It makes me feel so winded and I get scared to do anything that could possibly make me out of breath. It happens after the smallest of things too which is why my brain goes straight to heart condition. Does anyone have any advice?

I recently went to my PCP for routine bloodwork, that I wanted, just to ease my mind and make sure there weren't any issues that needed attention. When they called with the results, I couldn't answer the phone. I felt an immediate sense of doom, my hands got tingley, and I just couldn't answer. It took 45 mins of crying, pacing around, and convincing myself that everything was going to be alright, to finally be able to call back. I had this done on my own, I requested this so I could try to stay on top of my health, I had NO real reason to be scared of any results.. My health anxiety seems to be different than the majority of fellow sufferers. Most people will run to the Dr for any and everything. I am the opposite. I don't want to know. I'm terrified. I've been this way since I was a kid.... I want to know that I'm healthy, but actually going to the appointments and having the tests that can tell me that...is like a nightmare for me. Does anyone else have this type of health anxiety? Has anyone found a way to ease the fear? My logical brain tells me that if there ever is something wrong, I'd want to know as soon as possible, so I could get treatment immediately. But my panicky, overthinking brain, is more powerful and won't let me do that in peace. It's exhausting wanting to be healthy and keep on top of things when you can't muster up the courage to go to the doctor like a normal adult. UGH

what helps you guys cope with thinking you’re sick and you’re going to die any second? i can’t help but look something up on my phone when i feel something slightly unusual. once i see some condition or whatever, i stick with it until i experience something new, and the cycle goes on. i’ve always felt that if there was something wrong with me i wouldn’t want to know and would rather die. i’m not suicidal but i don’t want to live in a world where im sick or feel doom because there’s nothing to do about it. i’ve gone to the doctor plenty of times and i recently got a lot of blood tests. they said nothing was wrong with me other than the fact i have depression and anxiety. so every time i feel worried about something, i just refer back to that and tell myself im healthy, which i am. at the moment, i keep getting worried im going to have a stroke. although i am a teenager, it’s still possible. just now i felt left sided pain in my jaw that went to the rest of my face so i started to get anxious which made everything seem more intense. then i reminded myself that i have impacted wisdom teeth that are growing in which could cause that type of pain. last night my leg cramped up and it felt painful to move. it felt exactly like when your leg falls asleep and you get that paralyzed feeling (if that makes sense). then i figured that happened because i just had a week of band camp and my leg muscles were pretty sore, especially that leg. my family doesn’t have any history of health issues which doesn’t mean that im invincible but it also reduces the risk. all of this really picked up after band camp from last year (2023) im guessing its my body having enough of it being overworked.

Something I’m really struggling with is the thoughts of having a child. My husband and I got married last year and always planned to have kids. I am currently experiencing an OCD “flare” and I’m wondering how ethical it is for me to have a child knowing I may pass this condition on. Any insight is appreciated!

Hello, does anyone else have health anxiety/OCD with physical symptoms? I have had depression and OCD since my sister passed away when I was 16 YO. It has been on and off with flare ups here and there. The last 18 months I have had a lot of trauma in my life and started developing anxiety. With all this trauma developed physical symptoms of tingling in limbs, an increased startle reflex, muscle twitching, brain fog, tremors in hands and neck. I have had a brain MRI and countless other tests and the doctors said its all from stress but I am worried they could be missing something. My compulsions are to have symptoms and then google them and then what I see on the internet really worries me and its an ongoing cycle. Has anyone else experienced this? The Drs think I have a disregulated nervous system from trauma and repeated stress. Can anyone relate?

So does your period affect OCD in any way?

Does anyone ever experience their OCD themes shifting extremely quickly? This has been going on for the past few months. I keep flicking through health concern, contamination, psychosis and sexual orientation.

I have realized my fear is a bit different from people who just have emetophobia but not ocd, even when the phobia mimics obsessive compulsive symptoms. They fear the actual act of being ill, and all of the gross stuff that happens with it. They also have a fear of not being in control. I have found that I moreso fear contamination. While I would be okay with being sick from a spinny ride, what would cause me to not be able to overcome it would be the fear that it was because I was actually sick with norovirus. This is perhaps because my body would not mend itself immediately after being sick one time if I caught something. The idea of being infected with something foreign disturbs me deeply. I also feel as if everything will be ruined if I am sick, that the world will end. I get comfort from remembering that the things and people I love would still be there, that they wouldn’t be contaminated or gone, which is something I don’t see with just emetophobics.

What do you do when nothing feel right. Like for example I feel like everything triggers me, everything feels weird, sounds, actions, my room. I feel like i will go insane any second and I cant enjoy anything, I cant be happy about my upcoming new job or events. I have OCD about me having shizhophrenia and omg it has ruined my life, it has only been about 3 weeks, but it has got me complitely. I want my old self back and I am scared that my loved one will leave me bc i am not getting better. I really want a new theme as funny it sounds, because even 2 years ago harm OCD was't this hard. I feel like something in me is changing, but i dont want it 😭 I will start therapy in the end of August and I just started taking medication. But for now I cant imagine this stopping and I fear that it will go downhill from this, i cant see me doing better, because if i have a good day I rember how i felt yesterday or when I had a panic attack and I cant get enough of it, i always remember those feelings and I start to worry about it over and over again.

Hi! Okay so everyday I wake up and freak out that I am dying or going to die soon and then because I think that, I feel like I am manifesting it but I cannot stop getting intrusive thoughts about myself or someone I love dying. I also can’t get in my car and drive without thinking I hit someone and somehow just didn’t know? And then I will just wait anxiously and think police will show up at my door. And lastly, I live in the past and always think about all of my mistakes and I can’t forgive myself and keep thinking my past will come back to haunt me. Does anyone relate to anything I said? I think it would just help to know I am not alone.

my aunt gave me edibles to help with my anxiety from my intrusive thoughts. well i think i ended up greening out and i woke up this morning and my brain feels all fuzzy and i still feel like im going to die. has anyone with ocd ever been through this. im so scared right now.