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Coincidences, signs, omens, jinxing, what do I do when I’m convinced that the universe is warning me that something is going to happen?

Hey, does anyone has had OCD about hallucinations/schizoprenia? One day i was driving home at night and it was stormy outside, and thats where it started (about 3 weeks ago). I was soooo scared of the trees and everything around me looked like something else, but not exactly. I cant even describe it. But not like as i was watching in front, but in the side of my eye, and when i looked directly on the tree it was all normal. But from that night i have soooo much stress in me, that i see very vivid images (but like in my head not in real life) but it makes up like it will be in reality and i will see those images any second. But i dont see them. Like i know that that isn't real, i know that there is no one standing or that tree is not a big bird (funny as it sounds), but in my mind i convince myself that i will see it. Like one day me and my boyfriend were driving and i imagined that his face turns into a monster and when i looked at him everything is okay, but when i turned aside i saw in my thoughts that horrible face. I knew that it is not real and its just my imagination, but damn i am scared, like i can't even do anything, i think about seeing something in front of me every second and i am so avare of everything around me, like every person, every cloud, flower, everything. Tomorrow i have an appointment with my psychiatrist and i sooooo soo much hope that this is just my ocd and extreme anxiety... please someone let me know that i am not alone in this 😭

The other day I wanted to sign up for this 2 day class that seemed interesting to me but thought I'd buy tickets in the morning and if not it wasn't meant to be but then it did sell out but I was extremely sad and emailed the company asking to be told if anyone dropped out or anything and long story short he told me that I can just show up but then I remembered how I had thought if I didn't get tickets then maybe it wasn't meant to be so I got concerned and just prayed to God that if I wasn't meant to go for some reason that something would block me from going or it would be cancelled or something. And then I got an email that it was postponed because of the instructors flight being delayed so instead of having one session today and one tomorrow they r having both tomorrow and I really want to go but I'm afraid God was telling me not to by postponing it. And it's a scary drive making me scared I'll get in a car crash

My huge ocd fear being “sick” . If you don’t get what I mean (I can’t say the word so I’m hoping you’d be getting it by now). It’s an action someone does when they don’t feel the best. Anywho. I hate it. I always need Dramamine, ginger ale and a hot shower ready anytime or anyone starts to feel the way. I have to envision a paper or something pushing it down. I always have to imagine that paper taking away any virus or potential cause of sickness. I always have to avoid words that correlate to the action or the “v” word. I always avoid pressing the volume up because it needs to go one volume down. I can’t say, see or breathe or touch green. Just typing it out lead my doing my compulsion. It’s honestly time consuming. I also have to repeat “blue”. Until it feels right at least. I also wonder if anyone else has tics with your compulsion. It also doesn’t help how I suffer with bipolar disorder, ptsd, anxiety and body dysmorphia. I need to take lithium and my ocd with the fear of side affects makes it so hard to take my medicine. Which has lead to me not taking it then leading to a pretty bad depressive or manic episode. When it comes to depression it makes my body dysmorphia 10x worse. I truly can’t even look at myself in the mirror. To this day I’m constantly looking for ways to “fix myself”. It’s gua sha, to looking into plastic surgery to looking into diets even though I’m skinny enough (legit gained to the ideal weight I’m supposed to be), to heavy make up and it not being enough to just in general not feeling enough and hating myself everyday. I hate it. I just want peace. I want to be able to drive without having the fear of another panic attack. Not being so jumpy or afraid. Having constant nightmares is an even more misery. I want peace. I want tranquility, like how I wrote in my poem. “As the water of the shower touches my legs, warmth and tranquility races to my mind, as it brings me back to a time where life was just a relaxing, rainy, blue-dull day.” -Nabila Roman (me tee hee).

One night I started obsessing over how my dad could develop cancer I was watching a movie on Netflix and I kept having to pause the movie to blink and quickly pray to God that he wouldn't so I wouldn't be choosing the movie 'over' my dad. But one time I didn't and I just carried on playing it and then I felt this huge sinking feeling which made me feel like I caused something terrible to happen so I banned myself from Netflix for a year 😭😭and also started banning a ton of other 'materialistic' stuff like chocolate and music because I read in the Bhagavad-Gita that 'life is a balance of pain and pleasure' so I thought that by reducing pleasure I could prevent the pain I could feel from my dad 😭which makes no sense at all Anyway I got over this eventually but today I was watching Netflix again and then I started thinking about how I should probably put it away and go to bed (after I pray for my dad first) but I started thinking about how I don't want to put it away and I think mentally I chose it 'over' my dad- EVEN THOUGH I WOULD NEVER. And then it was like all my OCD faded and I was allowed to pray for other stuff too, etc But then I realised that this could be because Id chosen something above my dad and now he will one day down the line get cancer. I couldn't bear this so I started praying again before bed that I don't choose anything beyond my dad, and that him not getting cancer comes first, etc. Then I got into bed and I keep feeling the urge to get up again and show God I've chosen him and that I don't choose anything instead, and I keep feeling the urge to like tap the floor twice to solidify this but I promised to god that I can't 😭😭 I am so sorry that this is such a long post. Any advice at all would be welcome :(

My brain keeps obsessing over the idea that my mum could develop cancer. My brain keeps saying things like 'move your head twice' or 'tap the floor twice' and it has to feel RIGHT to make sure that she won't. But also all of my compulsions are basically praying until it feels right so when I move my head it's in the direction of the picture of God I have in my house for example, and it feels right. But when I do ERP and delay my compulsions they don't go away, they just come back stronger later in the day like a reminder that I really do have to do this. And if I refuse it's like I'm wasting the opportunity and giving this up, so I'm telling god that I'd be fine with her getting cancer and then she really will. I don't know what to do about this :(

Hello. I downloaded this app because of a cousin who has been through and is currently experiencing things similar to me and she said this helps her not feel so alone. So here I am. My name is Emma and I’m a 15 year old from Texas. In 2015, when I was 4/5 years old, I was ripped away from my grandparents (who took care of me) and placed with my father (who abused my drug addicted mother) and his wife, my step mom. “Dana” is what I’ll call her. When I first arrived at my dads and Dana’s house I didn’t suspect anything bad. I just missed my grandparents. Until Dana started to sexually, mentally and physically abuse me at a very young age. She would lock me in dark rooms, hit me with spoons and tell me to blame the marks it left on my grandparents as she tried to heal them or whatever. Dana told me that I was a snake and my dad didn’t love me. She showed me pictures of mens private parts and, although my memory of this incident is blurry, I do remember taking a “bath” with her once and never again. But Dana is just where my problems started. Whenever my grandparents won the custody battle, I came home, but not as the same kid who left. My thoughts were now very sexual if that makes sense, and I started to have sexual thoughts about family members and other thoughts in which I couldn’t control. I had basically developed a very dirty mind from an earlier age due to this abuse I went through at Dana’s house of horrors. These intrusive thoughts had eventually calmed now because as I got older I learned how to (somewhat) control them, but they still invade my mind today. The sexual abuse I endured also led to a short-lived porn addiction that stopped in 2020/2021 after I turned to God. These thoughts are also kind of like OCD, but like ‘if you don’t get this right all your loved ones will die’ and ‘if you do this God won’t love you and you’ll go to hell’ and what not. Now onto my present day problems Also, my grandparents are cattle people. They raise beef steers and breeding heifers. I started to show steers (a boy cow basically) in 2018. Of course, like any other animal-obsessed kids, I always fell in love with my steers. But, if you don’t know this already, FFA kids raise their “projects” or “show animals” for their county fair or other major livestock shows/expositions and at the end of every year my steers were slaughtered. I learned this at a young age but wasn’t too affected until I started to win, until I started to gain attention from random people because of what I’d accomplished in the show cattle industry, and I started to really get attached to my show animals. Just recently, I had a steer named Flash, and my goodness did I fall in love with that steer. We won almost every show we went to and were known by many people in my county. At the end of the year, Flash won Grand Champion Market Steer at the 2024 YMBL South Texas State Fair. At the fair, which lasted a week, I had to leave Flash in fair grounds in his champion pen the staff always provides for the winners (Grand and Reserve.) The fair always ends on my birthday, March 30th, which means I also have to leave my favorite animals on a day most would celebrate, but I dread all year long. Leaving Flash made me loose all self worth and also deem everything else the world had to offer meaningless. I became extremely depressed and bipolar, which, by the way, I still struggle with intense depression. I started thinking of killing my self. I told myself that if a painless way to end my life ever arose I would do it. I would end it all, just to see Flash again. Also in 2022, a heifer I loved so much, possibly more than Flash, prolapsed and died a painful death, leaving her baby behind. (We still have her baby.) The day this heifer died will always be ingrained in my head. When I got off the bus from the school, I ran to the end of my driveway before realizing my heifer, who I called Ms Kitty, really was dead. I dropped to my knees and sobbed in the driveway until my grandpa came and got me. Later that day I forced myself to look at the bloody trailer and I cried. I looked at the place where she was buried. But I got over Ms Kitty. Now onto the other problems. My grandpa went to Vietnam and told me stories. Like a normal kid would, I became obsessed and wanted to learn everything about the war. Me and my cousin played a game at night that resembled Vietnam. Until I stopped treating it like a game and let the events that took place in that horrible war shake me to my core. My grandpa also told me a story where one of his only friends, because according to him he tried his best not to make friends in case they died, was hit by some type of bomb or something and his body was blown in half. That scarred me as a child and I still think about it to day. All of that war phase I had as a kid affects me. Last week my family put on some Vietnam war movie. I started crying and had to make them turn it off. It just affects me somehow…and I know I’m not a veteran and I don’t know half of the problems vets go through, it still affects me and makes me depressed. All of these problems, amongst smaller things, make me want to end my life; I want the sadness and depression to end, I want to be with my family and Flash in heaven. I don’t want to live on this cruel world any longer than I have to. During the daytime, I’m happy and I laugh. There are days where I’m sad regardless of what time it is, but for the post part, every night I cry alone in my room, read my Bible and pray for God to take me and my grandparents to Heaven so I can see Flash all my other loved ones and animals and end my suffering. Before I end this post, I just want to add that I wouldn’t ever cause myself any harm. I’m a very low pain tolerance type of person and I’m even terrified of needles, so at least for now, Im in now real danger and wouldn’t ever act on my sucicidial thoughts. (Hope I spelt it right.)

i used to do therapy through here, and i would leave comments on every post i read to try to help. i’ve had ocd my ENTIRE life (21 rn) and its always been magical thinking up until 14- earlier this year my existential ocd was at its worst. i would drive around to see if any emergency rooms would take me in because i couldn’t be left alone. i was constantly throwing up, never slept or ate, never did anything because i was so anxious all the time with just about every form of ocd. i never thought id get better. i was so worried my life would never feel the same and id never feel genuine happiness again. it consumed everything about me. i’ve been on Paroxetine for a few months, and i can say it’s definitely helped, along with exposure therapy at home. it took a while, and at the time it felt like forever because i just wanted to be okay. i’m okay today! i was okay yesterday! i’ve been so much better for the last couple months. it will feel like such a slow process but please trust it. i’ve met so many people on here that i could relate to and everyone in this community means so much to me. i’m so proud of all of you. idk if anyone will see this, but if you do, give it time. nothing is urgent. it may feel like it, but you have time to figure things out, and *not* figure things out. not all of your thoughts and fears need an explanation :) i truly didn’t think it could get better, but it did, and it will for all of you, too.

I recently got diagnosed with Austism and this very loaded paragraph was on the report: "Other differential or other possible alternative diagnoses for your consideration are complex personality structures resultant from effortful attempts to cope with unmet emotional and attachment needs. These included: - rigidity associated with ***obsessive-compulsive disorder*** or personality and overcompensations associated with narcissistic personality' (emphasis mine)" It was surprising to me as I don't have any of the stereotypical OCD behaviours like excessive cleaning. There was nothing else mentioned in the report and I only had one hour to go through it in person with the assessor, and OCD didn't come up. Wondering if there is anyone else here with ASD and what if anything is the the relationship between ASD and OCD? Part of me thinks there is something worth exploring here (because nothing else is really helping me) and another part of me thinks this is just some vague conjecture the assessor put in (and it's not clear what the point of putting it in there was, like sure I *might* have OCD and NPD like I *might* be *pick random DSM diagnosis from the manual*) Is there something to explore here? The only thing I have that seems to be similar or related to OCD is I often have a voice in my saying negative thoughts ("you are the most pathetic person in the world" type thoughts, and those can often spiral out of control and lead to a meltdown/rage. Sometimes it feels like the entire universe is mocking me, and sometimes when an inconvenient coincidence happens it's like the universe is playing a joke on me, just to provoke meltdown so it/they can laugh at me having a meltdown for their own personal entertainment) Sorry for the huge post, I have great difficulty with brevity (I'd be super surprised if anyone has actually read up to here!!!)

Well I haven’t been diagnosed with ocd, but I have had themes in the past (health, and sexuality, as well as magical thinking) and to be honest if you were to ask me in april-may I would’ve told you that im super confident this is ocd. Now, I just don’t know, I know I shouldn’t be asking here and telling strangers to diagnose me and that I should go see a psychiatrist instead and I will soon enough. These Violent Thoughts have not gone away, only my emotions have. Thankfully I think I can classify the thoughts as intrusive (altough I think I involuntarily bring them up) and not ideation, but this again comes to me feeling numb, I think this is depression, but I just feel like I just don’t care anymore about anything. Just typing that I feel like I don’t care but also makes my stomach feel a little wierd. Recently I feel so off, Brain fog, and constant headaches on the back and top of my head, I don’t know if this is psychosis, dissociation, or a brain tumor. I don’t drink nor do I smoke and I’m glad I don’t but it makes me wonder what is the root of these mental problems I’m currently having. But it’s also bad because when people try to give me supportive words and advice, I cant feel anything when they do. I know that I’m not myself in the moment, and that I desperately need help. I’m sorry for those who have suicidal thoughts or ocd, but I wish my thoughts were more about myself rather then others (again sorry if you’re dealing with this and I hope you recover from these thoughts) and only two of my friends know what I’m going trough, and a few online strangers. I haven’t told my family because the fear of how they’ll view me on my thoughts. I just never thought that I would hit a mental health crisis when I’m about to be 18 going to college. I’m desperately trying to find a job so I could pay for a psychiatrist on my own. I think though I’ll ask my college to see if they have any there. I do want to get better and be normal like other people, but sometimes I wish I was just dead. Sorry for the long rant but this is the truth on how I’m feeling

I tried talking to my mom and we did it on a phone call so it was even harder to get my point across but I don’t even know what my point was , the whole conversation was confusing and it seems like she thinks OCD can just be thought through and I was gonna share some of my thoughts with her but they’re so bad I don’t know what she’ll say or how she’ll treat me I feel like I literally have no one and that I deserve it and every night I’m crying cuz it hurts in my head to be in my head Like some of my thoughts are that I’m a p-file or that I’m gonna get graped if I don’t sleep on one side through out the night or maybe since I’m 16 I’m gonna drive into the highway when I get my license and it’s all very hard

Hey all...so I just had this thing happen a couple of days ago. I wrote about it earlier, but have been obsessing and can't sleep. Please help if you can... I have a fear of numbers, mainly 6 which is a religious thing. We were having this fun drawing for picking gifts. 1 to 25 was written on tiny pieces of paper. I was the second to draw. In my head, I kept saying, " please don't be 6" and of course, it was. I drew the freaking number out of the remaining 24. Now I feel as if I am evil or can conjur this bad stuff to manifest. It has reinforced this feeling of evil. I say I'm a believer in Christ but this has scared me so desperately bad. It seems as if there is no relief. With ERP you choose to expose yourself to your triggers. This feels as if it was chosen for me...by something malevolent? Oh God, please help! My mind is out of control...

Hey everyone hope you’re all doing well! (Unlike me) So I need some help, if somebody’s child is sick, terminally ill or unfortunately passed away, I can’t associate with that person, that persons name or their child’s name or look at photos etc, I can’t even say or think that persons name because I will think of their name and their kids and then I will believe that my daughter will also end up with that child’s illness or even end up passing awah how that child unfortunately has, and I have to do so many rituals to stop it I’m constantly worrying about SIDS my daughter is now 9 months and absolutely striving but it terrifies me so I always think about people who’s had kids with illnesses (deadly) or passing away and it’s all that pops into my head and I feel like cause I keep thinking about these people for instance somebody in my family went through this sadly and their name etc and kids keep popping in my head and every time it does I fear my child will also end up in that situation if that makes sense? I don’t know what to do! I have to repeat over and over people and their kids names who are healthy it’s so draining I’m constantly worrying and checking on my daughter to see that she is still alive due to this

I posted a couple days ago about a video of that went along the lines of ‘at the end of the month everything I want will come to me an manifestation and the karma coming back’ if I sent the video back to the page which I did then later finding out that the page does black magic spells, I sent this video back during a time when I was sad and low and when I sent it, it said that this page doesn’t receive message requests so I don’t even know if it’s been seen and I blocked the page but it’s made me so anxious that black magic has been done on me and then me and my partner who was having a hard time at the time have now rekindled and I can’t get out my head it’s because of this page😣. It’s causing me so much anxiety and making me feel like I’m going to go insane if I keep thinking like this and feel sick & I can’t get out of this loop I’ve tried saying maybe it is maybe it isn’t but the thought of it scares me so much, I tried to tell myself my message hasn’t been seen and it’s okay and the page had 17k+ followers I wasn’t a follower and what’s the chance i get picked out of all them followers, I tried to tell myself it’s not guna work like that I’d need to pay something for the page to do any spells but nothing seems to be helping. can anyone give me any advice on this please? Has anyone had the same obsession? Normally magic and manifestations, karma etc doesn’t scare me i somewhat believe in it but it was something about the ‘black magic’ that doesn’t sit right with me and scares me. I just wanna go back to living my life again happy with my partner but this is getting in the way 😭

I was diagnosed with OCD 2 years ago and have struggled with it nearly my whole life. I’m 17 and the thing I struggle most with is thinking other people, mostly people I look up to or famous people are “watching” me or “listening” to my thoughts, specifically my intrusive or embarrassing ones. Although I know it’s not true it really affects my daily life. I believe this falls under magical thinking OCD. when I think of an intrusive thought, I think these people can hear it especially when I’m doing an action so I have to re-do that action over and over until I do it without thinking of that intrusive thought. This also affects things I enjoy doing, I’ve been really wanting to exercise but when I go to do it I get so embarrassed cause I think I’m being watched by a famous person or people I see as above me that I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m sorry if this is lengthy but I was just wondering if anyone else suffers with this and if you do, do you have any tips? Thank you if you read this much.💗

I’m struggling tonight. I seen something Instagram about a manifestation/karma and I responded to it, I looked on the profile after responding to it and one post it said black magic spells. I’m now having a really hard time that I’ve done something bad and I’ve messed with black magic.. I deleted the response and blocked the user, but my anxiety is through the roof stuff like that scares me and I’m crying. I’m so scared right now that something bad is going to happen 😢😢

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

Is it possible for your ancestors to curse you??? I keep getting intrusive thoughts about my relative that passed away and my thoughts are saying that they’re gonna curse me with one of my biggest fears. I’m so terrified right now. What if these thoughts were to actually come true..??!!!

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

Anybody else with Magical Thinking OCD? I feel like it is the most rare kind, I can never find stories or other people who relate to it. For example, turning off the light switch a certain way until it feels just right, otherwise something bad will happen to me or my family if I don’t do the compulsions. I also have a very hard time with like, if I forgot to say goodbye to someone when leaving a place, or sometimes I’ll leave for work and realize I didn’t give my daughter a hug before leaving and I will seriously go back home to do it before I go because otherwise I’ll have horrible anxiety. Same thing with leaving my wedding ring at home. I’m also so afraid of how it will affect my daughter and if it’ll cause her to have OCD as well because of seeing me do my compulsions and routines. It makes me feel like such a horrible person. It started getting really bad when I was 19 and went through a traumatic event, but I know that I’ve had OCD for my entire life. When I was little I slept in my parents’ room because I thought my own bed was cursed and something bad would happen to me if I slept in it. Things like that. It started being *severe* once I got pregnant with my daughter, and has only gotten worse since then. (About four years now). I search tirelessly for success and recovery stories with my form of OCD, because I just want to know that someone stopped doing their compulsions and everything was okay. I always feel like that’s what it would take for me to start the ERP therapy and actually stop doing my compulsions. Just looking for someone who relates I think really.