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I had to put my dog to rest today, I loved him so much and he was so loving and affectionate. I miss him so much already, he was like my emotional support animal. He really helped me through some extremely tough times with my OCD, now my intrusive thoughts are ramping up on top of the heart break. Gosh it’s so hard to stay strong when heartbreak happens in life on top of already having the horror of OCD, can anyone relate💔

Is it true that your true desires will make you feel content, comfortable, with little to no anxiety. And an ocd thought (intrusive false thought) will make you feel anxious, confused and panic? Is that correct?

Please could someone give this a read. I’m so sorry it’s a little long. Tw. Mention of SA My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. Due to be being obsessive (constantly wanting to be around him) and incredibly jealous (not liking/ wanting him to spend time with anyone that I didn’t like. Ie. His friends.) (I never ever forced him or asked him to not/do anything) In hindsight, we did not match well as a couple. But he was my first love. My first everything. And do I still miss him? Yeah I do. A lot. I can live with the missing him part. What I’m struggling to live with is the guilt. And I mean guilt that makes me physically hurt and ill. The guilt of how I acted, the guilt of how toxic I was and how blind I was to it. I never intended to be toxic, furthest thing from my aim. I just wanted to spend every living second with this man. And he wanted time to himself. During the relationship I was hospitalised multiple times due to guilt. Guilt is such a strong debilitating emotion I feel. I have become obsessed with the guilt, if that makes any sense. My main worry is if I hurt him. I don’t want his life ruined because of me. The second we broke up I blocked him on EVERYTHING. and he saw this as an act of violence, I did it to stop myself from begging for him back. He then turned against me and I’m 90% sure he hates me. And I don’t blame him, but I don’t want him to. When I was going through the worst of the breakup I believed he may have SA me and I told 2 of my closest friends that I think he did. A few days later I reviewed the situation to realise it wasn’t SA, I quickly told my friends I was wrong, I felt so awful and I was then hospitalised due to guilt. Since then one of the people I told that to is close with my ex, and I live in fear that she will tell him that I wrongly accused him of SA. I then became obsessed with the thought of ‘what if I SA him and I didn’t know I did’. I used to hide in my house scared that I would be arrested for doing something that I don’t even know if I did. That thought passed after months of suffering, sometimes it crosses my mind again. I have never seen him since the breakup and everyday I fear I will see him. I have had so so many thoughts since then and the guilt is debilitating. What can I do? What is this strong feeling? Please help me :(

My bf broke up with my yesterday it’s a long story short it was to do with his mental health anyways I was a mess like crying 24/7 I haven’t eaten u know the rest but he sent me a text saying he’s had a think and he realised what’s been troubling him and that he’s gonna get help and he wants to get back with me and i was so happy we spoke and told eachother we gonna take it slow but my ocd is creeping in and saying what if I don’t love him as much as I did even tho i love him and want to be with him and help him we have been together for 4 years it’s stressing me out

im always worried about something when im bored and for a long time i have been scared of being a psyhopath how do i tell myself im not someone help and tell my how do i tell myself im not is this ocd?

The last couple of days, I have had intense OCD. It also just so happens to be a day I am on my cycle and a day off from work. I am also reducing one of my medications (Seroquel XR), but am still on two other medications (Lamotrigine and Cymbalta) as well as hydroxyzine occasionally for anxiety. Does anyone else have more OCD while on their period or on days off of work? Or has had increased symptoms while decreasing their dose of a medication? Also, what are some tips or coping strategies you use with intrusive thoughts?

I have no official diagnosis for OCD but I have recently expected I have it. My whole life I’ve had people tell me I have OCD but I thought they were joking or making fun of me and I’m not a person to self diagnose but then I realized how obsessive I am over my thoughts and started researching. I do constantly ask myself pretty much everyday why I am the way I am, I constantly think I’m hurting someone emotionally then I have to check for reassurance, I beat myself down consistently. I’m always worried I’m going to hurt myself therefore hurting the people who love me. I obsess over the way my body looks and managed to get to the point I only eat once a day. I have never admitted this but I have violent sexual thoughts but they’re directed towards me not other people, these thoughts are completely against what I believe are my morals. I do have a need for organization and functionality within that organization, if someone touches the way I’ve organized those things it gives me high anxiety and I either have to fix it right then or I end up avoiding it altogether until I can find time to fix it cause I know I’ll take hours. If I write notes and I make one mistake, I have to rewrite the whole thing.. this caused a lot of overdue homework in high school and would take up hours of my time. Ive been married for a year but started dating 7 years ago but for some reason I still have thoughts if we’re the right match or not, etc. I relive conversations in my head daily, about 4 months ago I was in a car accident cause I ran a stop sign and t-boned somebody, I was dazed out because I was reliving an argument with my mother in my head and once I realized I crashed I instantly thought I killed the other person, my husband had to reassure me multiple times that the other driver was okay. I’ve read up on rumination and that seems to be a big check mark for me… I could go on but based off the examples I provided do you guys believe I possibly have OCD and should seek treatment for it? I don’t want to offend anyone because I understand this is a very hard disorder to live with and there’s obviously different severity levels but I’ve wondered since I was child “what’s wrong with me” and I want to know if I’m finally figuring it out?

Struggling with scrupulosity around real events. It makes me want to kill myself. Some days I just feel the need to either be locked up or killed. I don’t want anyone to have to deal with me. I know there are people who love me and want me alive, but I can’t help but think it would make things better if I were dead. I thought about harming myself again after a few years of being clean. I don’t want to but I feel like I have to for the greater good. Like I’m being just by punishing myself for feeling like a bad person. I can’t stand myself. I want my life to feel like one worth living. People tell me to stop wasting my time and just be happy. They don’t know how hard that is. I wish people could see into my mind and see how much I’m struggling.

I’m worried bc feels like i’m not disgusted or scared enough by my thoughts, does this mean i want to do them? I feel like im becoming a psycho or something, and my brain keeps saying “that’s not bad so why are you worried about it” like wtf yes it is bad and i’m so tired of explaining why to it but like what if im losing my morals like im dizzy idk 😭

I will start with some context. I have Pure-O and an almost constantly changing primary theme dependent on what I value most at the time. In addition to this I also have severe-level GAD currently. These two conditions compliment each other around holidays and significant events due to my perception of them being “once-a year” or “once-in-a-lifetime” events. Therefore, now three days ago, when coming back with friends from a New Year’s celebration I had a combination of magical thinking OCD, intelligence OCD, and real-event OCD occur at once. The event was myself, at the start of the new year, getting a ride home from someone else (I usually always drive myself), and I reached in my pocket to grab my phone. I will also give some context before; I usually have mental compulsions of repeating a list which describes characteristics about me (or things I would like to be). One of these characteristics is my IQ, which I usually positively reinforce by thinking “183 IQ”(This can be narcissistic, but I find it legitimately boosts my cognitive functions quite tangibly, something I also probably need to work on). However, when I reached in my pocket to grab my phone, I had an intrusive thought: “My IQ going down to 83 IQ instead of 183 IQ. Losing 100 IQ points.” This, with it being New Year’s Day and the end of the car ride, left me in absolute internal chaos and severe anxiety. This also left me with an event not worth or really able to be reconstructed (the compulsion was semi-tied to the event). Now, what I understand scientifically is that when such a level of cortisol is released from my limbic system at once (from the acute, intense anxiety being processed by my limbic system) my brain will proportionally lower executive functioning and memory recollection (both which are extremely distressing because I am blessed to have an amazing memory and I am a very fast learner). Therefore, scientifically I should be fine if I just remove the power from the thoughts to break the negative reinforcement of the anxiety cycle which allows for me to diffuse the emotions. Yet, I have had this problem before and sitting with the emotions and doing ERP exercises doesn’t seem to get the job done as they theoretically should for me. Therefore, my question is: Does anyone have any experience with these sorts of obsessions (Intelligence OCD, magical thinking OCD, and real-event OCD), and, if so, how did you resolve and become unaffected by future occurrences of such themes?

I felt like my OCD was in control for a while about a year and a half or so. Recently i’ve had a flare up and i have been very anxious. I have mental compulsions mainly. I want to hear about anyone else’s experiences with a flare up?

does any one else have an intrusive thought and you go over it in your head and try to see if you react in a good or bad way? i’ve been having bad intrusive thoughts but i sometimes have this feeling inside that i like it? and i feel it’s right and i agree inside but my other thoughts are saying no i hate it ?!

Hello all! So I’m taking Clomipramine as well as managing OCD via ERP practices I have learned in therapy. I know that Clomipramine is an old medication prescribed for OCD, but I wanted to share my experience and encourage anyone who is hesitant to take Clomipramine, or other antidepressants. You may react to medications differently than I did, but you don’t know if it works for you till you try it! I hope my story helps someone. (: Initially, I was hesitant to take any antidepressants, I didn’t like that some have lasting effects and it honestly scared me. I was also scared because as a Christian, some Christians were being very judgmental of people who take antidepressants. But, mental health is just as important as physical health, and if medication helps you or me, what others say about it absolutely does not matter. It’s okay to have Jesus AND a therapist. It’s okay to have Jesus AND antidepressants. I started off with Sertraline last year, and it did work great for my OCD, but I ended up being allergic to it and my lips and neck swelled a bit and I got rashes. It made me superrr tired when I took it for the week and a half that I was on it. I researched OCD medications online, and I decided that with my particular health conditions and allergies, I don’t want to take any more SSRI’s. I found Clomipramine, a TCA, and after researching it a little more, I decided with my doctor that I want to try it for my OCD. I started Clomipramine around March 2023, and the first week I took it I just noticed my pupils were very dilated (which made my vision a bit blurry) and I was also very tired. I started on a very low dose and slowly went up a little and it worked great for me. At first, my OCD felt a tiny bit heightened, and then after the first 2 weeks, it really started working for me. It made my OCD a LOT more manageable, and my intrusive thoughts felt like background noise. Flare-ups were almost nonexistent on Clomipramine. Other benefits I’ve noticed: I have PMDD, as well as mixed anxiety-depressive disorder, and Clomipramine has helped a ton with those for me. With my PMDD, I get binge eating urges around my period, and being on an antidepressant has helped suppress those urges, because in my case, the reason I binge eat is for a temporary serotonin boost. Being on a medication has really helped regulate that, my PMDD does still make me very emotional, but it’s SO much more manageable. I just wanna give people hope, even if you don’t take this particular medication, please know there’s no shame in taking medicine for your mental health. Your mental health is JUST as important as your physical health. Whatever you decide to do, I hope my story is encouraging to you. Much love and God bless. 🩷

Sometimes when your intrusive thoughts are especially loud or scary, you can start to feel "fused" with them, and it can be hard to separate yourself from the thoughts. If it feels like your thoughts represent who you are as a person, or if it gets challenging to differentiate between what the thoughts are saying and what you actually value or want, these are some ways that being fused with your thoughts can show up. In this case, adding some distance between your identity and your thoughts can be helpful. We call this “defusion.” ➡️ Swipe for some strategies to separate, or defuse, yourself from your intrusive thoughts!

I was spending time with my family and I wanted to give one of my family members a beer but when I handed it to my family member an intrusive thoughts came across my mind and it scared me because of the urge the thought generated which got me scared in the moment and I can’t stop thinking about it keeps ruminating in my mind. Any tips

I have had OCD my entire life and my obsessions have changed one after the other. As a child I was afraid I was going to overdose on pills, stab family members, then being transgender and gay, leaving stove or iron on, and now my dominant obsession is getting the wrong degrees and going to wrong school. I’m 39 and it’s very debilitating. When the intrusive thought comes about my education I feel so bad and I feel like I’m being held hostage. It’s very intense and I wasn’t able to hold a job and I contemplated suicide many times. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because the major and university didn’t align with my values or who I really am. I would seek relief by googling the university etc. but it never helped. My OCD has taken over my entire life. Whenever I think about my education I don’t like it and it doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t even like discussing it with anyone. I feel dead inside and I feel like I’m just surviving. I carry a lot of guilt and shame and I always feel like the worst.

How do I stop the thoughts of false attraction towards a family member like my dad it won’t stop and I feel like such a bad and manipulative person

For the past 3 months, I’ve been dealing with a sort of forced exposure in my life that has involved two of my themes (relationship and moral scrupulosity) in a very real way. A mixture of real relationship struggles, world events and conflicts have forced me to really address the top of my fear hierarchy, ready or not. I’m not gonna lie. It has SUCKED and there have been MANY days when I could not function normally. I had lots of insomnia, trouble eating, not being able to be productive or feel enjoyment. My mind felt so dark and scary. It felt like hell, mentally and physically. But I’m slowly getting better at accepting uncertainty. (There’s a lot of it in my life right now!) I went on Luvox after being off of meds for a year and at the moment it seems to be helping! My intrusive thoughts are still there just…less intrusive. The problems triggering my anxiety aren’t gone. Things might resolve. They might get worse. My relationship could progress positively. It could end badly. These are all real possibilities and I would obviously be deeply upset by a negative outcome. But right now I’m choosing to just 🤷🏻‍♀️ and live in the moment. That’s a big deal for me because my whole life I’ve been so bad at that. I’m focusing on developing good habits and self-care. One of the best tools my therapist taught me was “Do I really need to know this to _____?” Do I need to know how this conflict is going to turn out in order to wake up, go to work, play my music or hang out with my friends? Nope! I’m just taking it moment by moment and task by task. The thoughts are still there and they still suck, but they sting less. I’ve been taking baby steps that might seem insignificant to some ERP pros, but I think it’s working! I could totally feel panicked tomorrow and start ruminating again. But right now I’m OK, and I’m OK with right now. This super long message is to say that even after what feels like hell, there can be hope and you CAN improve. Your baby steps—even just increased awareness—make a difference. It’s not gonna be linear but there will be moments of respite! Just keep going even if you feel like you can’t! Every tiny step is a huge victory and really makes a difference❤️✨

I went to a Nurse Practitioner psychiatrist today. I told her about all of my intrusive thought OCD. She said I don't have OCD but that its a form of bipolar and maybe some psychosis. She asked me 20 times if I hear voices it see things that are not there. She said OCD is just people who order things and must have it done. She made me feel horrible and asked if I had ever acted on any of this. When I said no she almost acted bewildered. Very frustrating. My Lexapro has reached its shelf life and I just wanted to try a new SSRI. She prescribed Lamitrigine. Anyone ever try this?

Hooray....obsession switch.... Five years ago i visited a restaurant while travelling abroad and had a meal. When i finished up, they gave me the reciept in a wooden box. I went up to pay for it and handed the box back to them, but they handed it back, so i left with it. Now im stuck obsessing over whether or not i accidentally stole a reciept box from this restaurant, or whether i really was meant to take it. Nobody stopped me when i left and i came back and dined there the following day and had the same thing happen but i left the box they gave me that day behind because i didn't really think I'd need two of them. I've stressed myself out further because i found a way to contact the restaurant and i asked them about this and offered to return it or pay them for it. But they haven't responded yet, so OCD is playing merry hell with my thoughts. Very frustrating